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This article was co-written by Amy Chan. Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, which offers a spiritual and scientific retreat to heal emotional issues. She has helped hundreds of individuals over 2 years. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp will be published by HarperCplins in January 2020.
This article has been viewed 11,829 times.
Getting over your ex can feel like a “mission impossible,” but don’t get discouraged! Maybe you’re feeling pain right now because your old relationship was once a source of dopamine, the hormone that makes you happy. Since you broke up with that person, that source of happiness is no longer there. Even so, you can always overcome your feelings of pain and become stronger than before!
Steps
Handling emotions
- If you don’t like shaking your body, try releasing some energy with vigorous exercise.
- Let your listeners know you just want to be heard, not advised. Say, “Breaking up is hard for me. Can you take a moment to listen to me?”
Another approach: Write down your feelings when you don’t want to share them with anyone else. Even then you can “destroy” what has been written. Tear, throw, or burn the piece of paper after you’ve written down all of your feelings.
- Think about what you want in your lover. You can later use this list to choose the right life partner for you.
- Life doesn’t just arrange for you to meet just one person. Everyone will meet many potential partners, so ending a relationship is not as tragic as you think.
- For example, you could write, “Things I am grateful for today are friends, kittens, and cool weather.”
Facing life after breakup
- Take 15-60 minutes each morning to focus on your intentions.
- Choose a fun form of exercise like dancing or kickboxing.
- Take care of your own basic needs such as eating, bathing, and cleaning your living space.
- Treat yourself to a spa treatment or buy a special coffee.
- Go to work or school.
- Spend time working on a personal goal or hobby.
- After a breakup, taking care of yourself can be a challenge. Following a schedule will help you maintain healthy habits!
Here is a suggested schedule for you:
6:00: Wake up, shower and prepare for the new day
7:00: Think about positive intentions
7:30: Eat a healthy breakfast
8:00 – 17:00: Going to work/school
17:30: Eat a healthy dinner
18:00 – 21:00: Spend time with friends or do some hobbies
21:00: Relax before sleeping.
- For example, invite friends over to a game held at home, go for a nature walk, play an object game, take a drawing class with friends, read an interesting book or meet new people. have the same interests.
- Don’t do these things to hide from your feelings, though. At some point, you still have to deal with the painful feelings you’re going through.
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day.
- Take an art or cooking class.
- Join a recreational sports team.
- Get a pet if you’ve always wanted it.
- Join a club related to your interests.
- Join a volunteer activity that interests you.
- You probably won’t want to see anyone after a breakup, but you should be around people who care about you. If you don’t want to go out, invite a friend or loved one to do something fun with you at home like watching a movie or crafting.
Remove traces of your ex from your life
- If you don’t want to throw the items away, put them in the bin and give it to a friend. When you’re ready, your friend can drop or return the box to you.
- Unfollow all their social media accounts
- Delete all messages or emails related to the ex.
- Save the photo of the two of you in a folder that you can access later, and then delete it.
- Block their phone number.
- Do not use social media in the first few days after the breakup.
Advice: For about a week after a breakup, it’s best to stay away from social media. Seeing other people post posts about their happy relationship will remind you of your sad breakup. Instead of comparing yourself to others, take the time to build your life to your liking.
- When you catch yourself thinking about your ex, you shift your focus to your hobbies or interests.
- If you must meet them, bring someone along so you don’t have to meet them individually.
Back to myself
- Stay in touch with your friends by chatting or texting every day.
- Go out with friends for coffee, dinner and games.
- For example, you didn’t use your gym membership because you didn’t have time for that. Now it’s time to re-register!
- Another example is that you stopped drawing or taking pictures because you wanted to spend time with your lover. It’s time to pull out your “tools” and get back to your hobby!
- For example, you would choose to study further or start a career in photography.
Note: While working on your passion, remind yourself that you are building yourself a future independent of love affairs.
- For example, the same friend trying Indian food at a restaurant that the ex doesn’t want to go to, decorating pottery with a group of friends, playing volleyball, having a picnic at the park, visiting a planetarium, going to a poetry reading.
- For example, you might want to buy a house, build a career, and have a dream vacation experience.
- Likewise, you may find yourself wanting a creative life or moving to another country.
Advice
- Focus on creating new memories with your friends to replace feeling bad about your ex.
- Don’t be in a hurry to start a new relationship. You shouldn’t drag a bag of old feelings into someone else’s life only to find you don’t understand the new person well or don’t connect deeply with them. Focus on improving your own feelings.
Warning
- Don’t waste your energy getting back with your ex. The best “revenge” is to create a life you love and pursue your own happiness!
- Make sure you don’t choose to be with someone else to make your ex jealous. This won’t work and you’ll hurt yourself and the other person.
- Ignore all rumors and things related to you and your ex because they are not worth your attention.
This article was co-written by Amy Chan. Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, which offers a spiritual and scientific retreat to heal emotional issues. She has helped hundreds of individuals over 2 years. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp will be published by HarperCplins in January 2020.
This article has been viewed 11,829 times.
Getting over your ex can feel like a “mission impossible,” but don’t get discouraged! Maybe you’re feeling pain right now because your old relationship was once a source of dopamine, the hormone that makes you happy. Since you broke up with that person, that source of happiness is no longer there. Even so, you can always overcome your feelings of pain and become stronger than before!
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