How To Forget The Past, Live In The Present And Don’t Think About The Future

Indulging in the past or focusing too much on the future will make you forget about your present life. And your life will pass quickly without any enjoyment. If you find yourself focusing too much on past events or traumas or worrying about the future, there are a few methods that can help you learn to live every moment to the fullest.

Table of Contents

Forget the past and worry about the future

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Express your feelings about the past. No matter what past event you’re focusing on, it’s a good idea to express how you feel about it, good or bad, before you can move on. Perhaps some of your past experiences will be quite painful, but you will also have fond memories. Expressing pent-up emotions, good or bad, will help you forget the past and focus on the present.

Talk about your feelings with a friend, loved one, or counselor.
Try to write about how you feel about the past. You can journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you (but don’t send it!).
Even if you are wallowing in good memories, this action will cause you to lose touch with the present. You’ll find yourself romanticizing the past or yearning for things to go back to the way things were, instead of focusing on how to improve your life right now. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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Forgive and forget. Constantly blaming the person responsible for your past pain will ruin your present. Instead of thinking about the person who hurt you, you should forgive them. Focus on the current event and let go of any resentments or pain you feel. If someone in the past has hurt you, you should choose to forgive and let go. Griefing with pain won’t harm the person who hurt you, it will only make you wallow in the past. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If necessary, write or talk to the person about their past actions. You don’t have to send that letter, but it will help you stop blaming the person and return to the present and to your joy. ^{[3] X Research Sources}^{[4] X Research Sources}^{[5] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Pay attention to the things that bring you happiness. If expressing feelings about the past doesn’t work, focus on the things that bring you joy. You can’t change the past or worry about the future, so don’t dwell on it. Think about the fun thing going on.

If this is too difficult, you should set your own standards. For example, you could create a happy place that you think relates to your current life, such as your favorite reading place in your backyard. If you find yourself thinking too much about the past or worrying about the future, imagine a good time you had there, or even picture yourself being there. there. ^{[6] X Research Sources}^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Prevent memories. If all efforts are unsuccessful, you should try to prevent or reverse the memory. Over time, this method will help you get over the bad memory. At the same time, it will also make them less annoying to you. Imagine that you are pushing the memory behind a door and locking the door. Providing yourself with a mental image will help, especially if your memories or worries are quite strong. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Many studies have shown that blocking is a learnable and possible skill to help you get rid of your memories or stop thinking about the past. The more you do it, the more proficient you become. Every time unpleasant memories come up, you should consciously push them back into your mind. You need to train yourself to forget the event and work hard to get over it. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Coping with past trauma

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Understand the difference between trauma and painful memories. Trauma can have psychophysiological effects such as feelings of extreme anxiety and fear in the present moment – as if the trauma never ended. Traumatic memories will form painful emotions such as sadness and guilt, and they do not change your perception like acute trauma.

Trauma requires individual treatment and will often require professional help.
Sometimes, symptoms appear only after a few years. The traumatic event will cause you to have nightmares, confusion, depression, obsessions, anxiety, or flashbacks. ^{[13] X Research Source}
Trauma healing is slow, and it can be hard to stop thinking about it for a while. You just have to believe that if you put in the effort, things will get better.

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Seek help from a support group or mental health professional. You should find a counselor or program specifically for people with trauma. You are responsible for your own recovery, and how and when it happens. ^{[14] X Research Source} No matter what treatment you decide to follow, it should provide you with the following essentials:

Strength: Recovery is your chance to regain control. While guidance is important, you need to take responsibility for your own resilience. ^{[15] X Source of Research} If your counselor suggests you take a method that you don’t like or aren’t willing to take, you don’t have to do it.
Confirmation: Perhaps, your experience has been overlooked or ignored for years. A support group or counselor can confirm what happened to you and how the trauma has shaped your life. ^{[16] X Research Source}
Connectivity: A traumatic experience can be quite lonely. Talking to others and sharing your story with someone who understands will help you begin to feel connected. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Share with someone you trust. Talking about what happened to you is an important part of healing. You should choose someone who is patient, kind, and who takes what has happened to you seriously. The person who usually responds with “You just have to stop thinking about it,” “Forgive and let go,” or “That’s not so bad,” isn’t the right person to talk to.

You may need to talk about your trauma over and over again – make sure the person you’re talking to understands the importance of this process. Removing the burden once is fine, but you need to keep looking back and sharing about it. ^{[18] X Research Sources}
If you don’t get along with or trust anyone, you should get in touch with the person you love in your life. Do something fun with them, or if possible, invite them to do something with you in the future. ^{[19] X Research Resources} Spending time with them will help you form a closer relationship.
You should remember that when you talk about trauma with others, you are indirectly traumatizing them, and they will experience symptoms of trauma from listening to your story. Don’t be offended if that person can’t listen to your story every day. Family and friends are a great place to start, but if you need more support, a trauma counselor has been trained to avoid this.

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Make a list of methods you can take to take care of yourself. It can be hard to think about how to comfort yourself during difficult times. You should write down a list of everything that makes you feel better and put it in an easy place to refer to. ^{[20] X Research Resources} Some steps you can take include:

Do creative work, such as painting, woodworking, embroidery, or other types of crafts.
Do exercise. You don’t have to do intense exercise – you can just go for a walk around the block. Or jogging, swimming, playing sports, dancing, hiking, any activity that keeps your body moving. ^{[21] X Research Source}
Play with the kids in the house or with pets. This will have a soothing effect, and may make you feel better. ^{[22] X Research Source}
Sing quietly or sing as loud as you can. You can fill your lungs with fresh air and sing out loud your favorite tunes. ^{[23] X Research Sources}
Wear clothes that make you feel better. Wear a shirt or wear some of your favorite jewelry. ^{[24] X Research Source}

Pay attention to the present

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Be aware of your surroundings. Stop hustling in life and don’t allow yourself to dwell on the past. Instead, pay attention to your surroundings, whether it’s a wonder of nature or a man-made creation. You should make an effort to pay attention to every aspect of your present life.

For example, you can go for a walk and look around. If you are outdoors, you should observe the trees, the ground, and the landscape. Feel the air on your skin. If you’re at home, you should pay attention to the color of the walls, the sounds you hear in the area, or the feel of the floor beneath your feet. This will help you focus on the present moment and pay attention to your surroundings. ^{[25] X Research Sources}

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Slow down life. People often rush to move from moment to moment. You should slow down and enjoy everything you do, even if it’s pretty boring. For example, pay attention to your actions when snacking. Grab a bunch of grapes and watch them consciously. Be aware of their shape and size. Eat each fruit one by one and pay attention to the taste. Enjoy the sweetness that spreads around your tongue and the nourishment it gives you.

You don’t have to get excited about everything that happens to you every day. If you’re working on a project at a company that you don’t like or don’t want to have to take on obligations that you don’t want to do, this is perfectly normal. Instead of rushing through it, you should think about your daily activity and experience it. ^{[26] X Research Sources}

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Change your daily habits. Stuck in a habit is a condition that can lead you to dwell in the past without realizing it. Perhaps you have to do the same things every day or at the same time each week. Although routine will bring you comfort, it will make you feel stuck and forget about the present. Instead, you should change your habits. You can walk to the bus stop or take another route to work.

Even small changes will help you break out of old habits. Change the foods you eat. Incorporate words you just learned into your own vocabulary. Anything that can make you aware of your daily activities will help you live in the present instead of the past or the future. ^{[27] X Research Source}
If you don’t want or can’t change the habit, you should be more mindful of your actions throughout the habit. Notice the taste of the oats you eat every morning or the shape of the trees on your way to work. ^{[28] X Research Sources}

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Pay attention to the moment of peace. Almost every day, you will encounter a time when you have to wait for something. Maybe it’s waiting in line to pay at the supermarket or waiting for a red light while driving. At these times, you should try to resist the habit of checking your phone, instead, pay attention to everything around you. You should be mindful of your surroundings rather than wasting time complaining that you wish there weren’t many people in line or that traffic lights change signals.

This is a great moment when you can pay attention to the little, simple things in life. Avoid using your phone to kill time. Instead, observe people queuing or traffic around you. You can smile at others or strike up a conversation with the person in line behind you.
Keep trying many things until you find the best way to live in the present. ^{[29] X Research Sources}

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Leave a reminder for yourself. To be able to live in the present, especially when you’re just starting out, you’ll need reminders. Tie a string around your wrist, paint a nail a bright pink, or wear it backwards. Use them to remind yourself.

Every time you see a reminder, take a few seconds to pay attention to the sounds, scents, and cues around you. Be aware of your feelings and actions. This will help you maintain your attention on the present situation and not dwell on the past or future. ^{[30] X Research Source}

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Focus on one task at a time. Instead of doing things mindlessly, you should take the time to do the task well. Allow yourself to become engrossed in your school essay, work project, or day-to-day errands. Let yourself be so absorbed in work that all thoughts of the past and the future disappear.

It’s easier if you don’t do many things at once. When you’re multitasking, you lose track of what you’re doing and start thinking about something else, like completing a task or moving on to something else.
Try to work slowly. This will help you focus your attention on your own actions in the present moment. ^{[31] X Research Source}^{[32] X Research Source}

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Meditation . One of the best ways to focus on the present is through meditation. The purpose of meditation is to help you get rid of all other factors, including fears about the past and future, and focus on the moment in which you are meditating.

Start by breathing deeply, paying attention to your actions. Clear your mind and focus on the sound of your breath. Gradually, everything will disappear.
It takes time and practice for you to fully meditate. Don’t give up if you don’t experience “relaxation” right away, or even after a few months. Stick to the practice, and you’ll begin to reap the (great) benefits of meditation. ^{[33] X Research Source}^{[34] X Research Source}

Steps

Forget the past and worry about the future

Coping with past trauma

Pay attention to the present

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