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Breaking up with someone you still love can be one of the most challenging and painful experiences life throws at you. The memories, the emotions, and the deep connection you once shared can make it incredibly difficult to move on. However, holding onto an ex who has moved on or is no longer interested can prevent you from finding true happiness and living your best life. Learning how to forget the ex you still love is a process that takes time, patience, and self-reflection. In this guide, we will explore various strategies and techniques that can help you let go of the past, heal your heart, and pave the way for a brighter future. By the time you finish reading, you will have gained valuable insights and tools to help you navigate through the challenging journey of letting go and finding happiness within yourself once again.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 210,811 times.
Overcoming grief after a breakup is never easy, and it’s even harder if you still have feelings for your ex. The first and most important step to getting up and going after a breakup is to limit contact with them. Find ways to keep yourself occupied with positive activities instead of focusing on your ex. Accepting reality and trying to close the relationship is also helpful. Remember that even though it’s tough right now, you’ll get better with time.
Steps
Keep your distance from your ex
- If you find it too difficult to cut off contact with your ex, ask your friends to help you stay away. You can also temporarily move your ex’s phone number and email address to the block list. You can unblock later when your heart is more stable.
- If you both have kids together or study/work in the same place, you probably can’t completely cut off contact with your ex. In this case, limit your contact to only talking about relevant issues at the time, such as discussing a project at work.
- If the person still wants to contact you, ask them to respect your wish to stop contacting for a while. If they continue to try to contact you, change your phone number and email address.
- After this, you can still continue to follow the ex if you want.
- If mutual friends mention your ex a lot, unfollow those friends too. If your relationships overlap too much, perhaps you should consider ditching social media altogether.
- If you happen to run into an ex, you should just interact quickly. A brief greeting before leaving is enough.
- Getting rid of memorabilia not only helps you keep your distance from your ex, but it is also a symbolic act to give you a fresh start with new memories.
- If you have to face your ex all the time at work, consider finding a new job or asking to be moved to another location.
Keep yourself busy
- For example, if your ex thinks your dream of going around the world is crazy, now plan the trip you’ve been putting off in the past. If your outfit used to be all chosen by your ex, then now is the time to buy a new wardrobe.
- Join an organization in the community
- Volunteer with a cause you find meaningful
- Join a sports team for fun
- Learn a new language
- Join a book or game club
- If you want to ease your mind, tell the people you love how you feel and what they can give you. For example, you could say, “I really need a hug right now.”
- While you can confide a little to vent feelings of grief, try not to constantly mention your ex or probe people to see how they are doing now. Ask your friends and loved ones to subtly redirect the conversation if they see you end up wallowing in your ex’s silhouette again.
- Relationships often take up a lot of your time and energy. Use this time to focus on yourself without feeling guilty.
- Dating someone else is also a way to help you feel attractive and wanted, feelings that are hard to come by after a breakup.
- Dates can be exciting, but don’t use new people just to fill the void. You should only date again when the wound in your heart has recovered somewhat.
- Before dating someone new, you need to spend some time thinking about what you want in the relationship and what you need in the other person.
Accept that the love is over
- Instead of indulging in harmful habits to deal with your emotions, do more constructive things like exercise, eat healthy, and lean on friends.
- Set deadlines for mourning. This period can be two days, two weeks or two months; Allow yourself to be sad for a while. During that time, you may feel angry, confused, or relieved.
- When the time to grieve is over, try to get back into your life and the world around you, even if it’s just to visit a friend one afternoon.
- Make a list of your ex’s “bad sides” so you don’t just focus on the good. For example, you might list problems in your relationship, such as the other person lying, being unfaithful, or not supporting you.
- For example, if you’re trying to get over memories of your ex, say out loud, “I wish him/her a happy, healthy life.” Take a deep breath, exhale and continue your work.
- Don’t beat yourself up if you still have feelings for your ex a long time after the breakup. That’s okay, but that doesn’t mean you should hold onto a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.
- When you’re done writing, you can send the letter to your ex if you want, but you can also burn or tear the letter up.
- When you accept what has happened, it will be easier for you to get up. Acceptance can also help you learn valuable lessons that you won’t repeat in the future.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 210,811 times.
Overcoming grief after a breakup is never easy, and it’s even harder if you still have feelings for your ex. The first and most important step to getting up and going after a breakup is to limit contact with them. Find ways to keep yourself occupied with positive activities instead of focusing on your ex. Accepting reality and trying to close the relationship is also helpful. Remember that even though it’s tough right now, you’ll get better with time.
In conclusion, forgetting an ex that you still love is a challenging and emotional process. It requires time, self-reflection, and an active effort to let go of the past. It is important to accept your feelings and allow yourself to heal before moving forward. By focusing on personal growth and embracing new experiences, you can gradually free yourself from the memories and attachments that keep you tethered to your ex. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends and family can provide the necessary encouragement and understanding to help you through this difficult journey. Remember, it is okay to grieve and feel pain during this process, but it is also crucial to not let it define you or hinder your future happiness and well-being. Though it may feel like an uphill battle, time and self-care will offer solace, allowing you to ultimately heal and discover love again.
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