How to Forget Someone You Love

Everything comes to an end: Love is no exception. While forgetting someone you love may seem impossible right now, don’t worry: There’s always light at the end of the road. As time goes by, with the right measures, the pain will gradually subside and you will return to being yourself.

Table of Contents

Let go of all the sadness

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Don’t suppress your emotions. Cry loudly. Shout into the pillow. Arguing with the wall. In the first stage of forgetting someone, you will feel extremely miserable. You need to accept these feelings so that you can truly let go of them and move forward.

Research has shown that suffering is transmitted to the brain as real pain. The brain’s response to heartache is roughly the same as it is to drug addiction. However, the best way to overcome this pain is to overcome those feelings. ^{[1] X Research Source}
Denial won’t do any good. No matter how hard you try to ignore those bad feelings, they won’t go away. That only increases the risk of an explosion later.
If you’re the type that needs a physical release, consider taking a beauty session or venting your frustrations on a practice sandbag or dummy.

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Resist the urge to explode with anger. Part of you will probably feel angry. That’s understandable, but you should avoid covering up or disguising your pain with anger. In fact, anger can help you feel less vulnerable, help you feel in control, and give you the motivation to move forward. ^{[2] X Source of Research} However, the only way to work through the pain and accept the current situation is to let yourself feel other emotions masked by anger.

Anger is just an accompanying emotion. The emotions that are hidden by your anger can be disappointment, being ignored, abandoned, unloved, and rejected. All of these feelings made you feel hurt, and you used your anger to soothe yourself. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
To find out the true feelings behind your anger, listen to what you tell yourself. If you tell yourself, “No one will ever love me again,” it may represent feelings of being abandoned or unloved. Pay attention to your thoughts during the day to identify other emotions you’re experiencing. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
In addition, anger is often obsessive. If you are constantly berating your ex or someone you like to your friend or remembering every little “mistake” that person has made, your mind will always be filled with images of that person. In other words, anger will only make you stay where you are instead of moving forward.

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Indulge yourself. Tu buys himself a box of chocolates or eats ice cream directly in the box. Buy that designer handbag or electronic gadget you’ve been eyeing for months. Go to the Spa or have lunch at the new restaurant that everyone raves about. Because you’re having a hard time, it’s okay to feel the need to pamper yourself a little to lift your spirits.

People always crave comfort foods when they are sad. Research has shown that intentional indulgence is usually harmless as long as you know your limits and don’t neglect your own health. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
That means you should set limits for yourself. If you’re in debt, stock up on junk food, or gain about 18 pounds, those things will only make you feel worse. Indulge yourself to the best of your ability and stay away from things that are harmful to your health because that’s more like self-destruction than saving yourself.

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Listening to music. You may want to listen to heartbreaking songs. Contrary to popular belief, listening to sad music won’t make you feel worse. In fact, such music makes you feel like someone is sharing your pain, and you’re not alone. Plus, if you’re crying while singing along to the song, you’ll be able to release your emotions in a healthy way. At the end of the song, you will feel a lot better. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Science has proven that listening to music has healing effects. It can lower your heart rate and relieve stress. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

READ More: How to Grow Lentils

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Let yourself feel numb. Eventually, after you’ve finished crying, you may feel yourself numb or “dumbfounded.” Do not worry. That is a perfectly normal reaction.

Usually, the feeling of numbness is usually due to exhaustion. Crying, like any other energy-hungry emotion, can completely drain you both physically and mentally. Therefore, after you have dealt with these emotions, you will no longer have the strength to feel anything else.

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Talking with friends. Your best friend’s shoulder is the place you can lean on. Sometimes, talking to friends is the best way to get all the emotions you’re feeling out there and move on. A friend can help you feel like what you’re going through is normal. Plus, expressing your frustrations openly can make it easier to understand and deal with them. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

A friend who can give you helpful advice is a great option to share your troubles, but any friend who is always willing to listen to you can help a little. Sharing your feelings is just as important as dealing with current problems.

Crisis Text Line

24/7 Crisis Advisory Service

Crisis Text Line offers a free, 24/7 text-based crisis resolution service. People in crisis can text 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor. They have sent over 100 million messages to people in crisis across the United States, and the service is growing rapidly.

Crisis Text Line
24/7 Crisis Advisory Service

Give yourself time if you still find it difficult to talk about your relationship. Consultant Crisis Text Line advises, “Communicating openly with others about your personal relationships is not easy, and you need to be braver. Try practicing saying what you intend to say before talking to a friend or loved one about the sensitive issue. Or you can write down what you’re going to say so you don’t forget it, or ask them to take a moment to talk to you. Remember, you should only do this when you’re ready. If you need more time to think, it doesn’t matter.”

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Write diary. If you don’t want to annoy your friends too much or feel uncomfortable sharing something with anyone, write it down. This can also help you release the emotions you’re holding back. Journaling has many mental benefits. It helps us understand our own thoughts and feelings and resolve disagreements (by writing about them from someone else’s point of view) ^{[9] X Research Source}

You can use journaling to express feelings or events that you don’t have the courage to share with others.

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Limit the amount of time you wallow in sadness. You need to let yourself be sad but you also need to understand that at a certain point you will have to force yourself to move on. It’s not good if you let a broken relationship stop you from growing in other areas of your life. Give yourself time, but don’t hesitate to go back and live your life to the fullest.

Set a date or a relative time frame in advance. Give yourself about half the time you spend in love with your ex or the time you spend chasing someone you like. During this time, be as moody as you like. Then force yourself to move on even if you still feel sad.

Cut off Connections

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Avoid unnecessary contacts. This means no phone calls, no emails, and no “accidental” encounters with the person while he or she is jogging somewhere as usual. If you want to forget someone, you need to put enough distance between the two of you to give yourself a chance to heal. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Of course, this will be difficult if the two of you are colleagues or classmates. In this case, the best thing that you should do is to limit interactions with other things except what is absolutely necessary to your daily life. You don’t have to change your life just to avoid someone you want to forget, but you shouldn’t get involved with them on purpose either.

Amy Chan

Founder, Renew Breakup Bootcamp

Amy Chan is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, which offers a spiritual and scientific retreat to heal emotional issues. She has helped hundreds of individuals over 2 years. Her debut book, Breakup Bootcamp will be published by HarperCplins in January 2020.

Amy Chan
Founder, Renew Breakup Bootcamp

Your brain needs time to accept that your ex is gone. Amy Chan, founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, says: “When you’re dating someone, your brain gets used to receiving a dose of the happiness hormone dopamine when interacting with them. After a breakup, the network gets used to it. Nerves have to reconfigure to get used to the fact that you’re no longer dating that person.Over time, if you don’t interact with your ex, these pathways in your nervous system weaken . However, every time you see them, re-read old messages, or check out their social media pages, you’re activating old connections in the nervous system.”

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Stop following electronic media. Stop checking Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Pinterest or any social accounts associated with him or her. Finding out what the person is up to will only make it harder for you to move on with your life.

If you can’t resist the urge to follow the person’s social media accounts while remaining on your friends or followers list, unfriend or unfollow the person.
If the person has ever given you his or her password, ask them to change it to eliminate your desire to spy or snoop.

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Never get close to that person both physically and mentally. Being with that person can make you feel more comfortable and even more at ease. But staying emotionally close to your ex isn’t a good idea, because you’ll have to go through the heartbreak all over again afterward. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Don’t sleep with your ex for “old love” or become an “unbound partner” with someone you like.
In fact, “forgetting” someone is not easy for either sex, but it is especially terrible for women. Physical attachment causes women to release Oxytocin, a hormone that increases feelings of intimacy and love. ^{[12] X Research Sources} So if you do, you won’t be able to “get them out of your mind”. You will only feel more attached to that person than before.
Emotional intimacy is just as dangerous, even if you’ve been emotionally intimate before. This kind of connection is on a deeper level, making it very difficult to break up with your ex.

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Throw away anything that reminds you of that person. Even if you cut ties and avoid communicating with someone you want to forget, you may still find it difficult to move on if your room is filled with objects that remind you of that person. .

Usually, the best way is to put all of those things in a box and put them away until you have the courage to move on. Instead of throwing it away, you can also return certain items to the person like CDs, movies, etc.
In fact, no matter how desperate you are, you shouldn’t throw or even burn those things to free yourself ^{[13] X Research Sources} When something is lost, it lost forever. If you regret throwing away an expensive watch or burning an autographed photo of your favorite singer you went to see with your ex, you’ll probably still regret it later. that.

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Reconnect when you’re ready. Contrary to what you might think, it’s possible to become friends with someone you once loved. If you can’t be friends, then at least the two of you can respect each other enough to sit in the same room without looking at each other with bullet-shaped eyes.

Don’t force yourself to reconnect. If you can’t let go of the pain and reconnecting makes things too difficult, you don’t have to.
Only begin to reconnect when you have completely accepted the truth and no longer have any attachment to that person. Experts recommend that you start the grieving process and avoid seeing the person in person for a while. Then, sit down and talk honestly about your friendship. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Limit your efforts. Try expanding your friendship for once. If that doesn’t work, accept that reconnecting is not possible and move on.

Enjoy Life and the Next Step

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Away from home. Take a walk. Traveling. Explore famous or even lesser known mysterious lands. The important thing is that you need to get out of bed and get on with your life no matter how much you want to lie in bed and watch sad movies.

Active. Physical activity is one of the best things you can do while trying to forget someone. On the contrary, lounging on the couch day in and day out can make you feel even more upset about yourself.

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Go out with friends. ^{[15] X Research Resources} Friends can be of great help in getting over someone, even if you cry on their shoulder. When you need to feel understood and temporarily forget your grief, a good night out with your best friend can be a great remedy.

Your friend may also be grateful, especially if you haven’t been interested in them for a long time because you’ve been busy dating or chasing someone you like.
However, avoid letting your friends pressure you into a new relationship before you feel ready.

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Let’s meet new people. This may seem overwhelming, but it can also have a huge impact on your recovery. By meeting new people, you will show yourself that there are many people who can admire and love you. Likewise, you may also realize that there are still plenty of other options available to you. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

New friends are like new objects. Sometimes a new relationship is so much better because it doesn’t have a lot of pressure and you don’t have to worry about falling in love.

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Love yourself first. ^{[17] X Research Source} Above all, understand that no matter how others feel or think, you deserve to be loved. Make a list of the things you like about yourself: your smile, your witty comments, your endless passion for books, etc. Make sure you keep nurturing these things. that you love most about yourself whenever you enter a new relationship.

Spend time doing what you enjoy, especially the things you barely do during your time with your ex or trying to impress someone you like.
Avoid putting all the blame on yourself. Understand that the two of you are simply not meant for each other. It’s not your fault or you don’t deserve to be loved.

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Do not rush. Never force yourself into a new date. Only do it when you’re ready, one day, and trust yourself that you’ll know when you feel ready to fall in love again. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Forcing yourself to start a patchwork or snappy relationship will only make you feel worse, especially when you realize that you’ve been close to someone you have absolutely no feelings for.

Advice

The above suggestions are related to how to forget the person you like unrequitedly as well as your ex.
The most important thing is to remember that it takes time to get over things. Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself regularly. You will no longer cry, suffer, or think about that person before you even realize it.

Steps

Let go of all the sadness

Cut off Connections

Enjoy Life and the Next Step

Advice

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