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This article was co-written by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Dr. Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City that focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 75,297 times.
Whether a bad memory stems from an embarrassing moment or a traumatic incident, it can linger in the mind for days, months, or years. Fortunately, there are ways to train your mind to deal with negative memories in a healthy way. Read the article below to find ways to dispel sad memories and ease any anxiety when thinking about them.
Steps
Forming a Healthy Way of Thinking
- If you can completely avoid the triggers of your bad memory, you will gradually forget about it. You’ll have less reason to evoke memories, and as you go on with your daily life, you’ll be able to replace bad memories with more important thoughts.
- Of course, that doesn’t mean you can avoid triggers altogether, and you probably don’t want to change your route to work, or donate your sci-fi book collection, or stop listening to your favorite music just because the last time you saw them perform was when your ex said goodbye. If you can’t avoid triggers, either because there are too many triggers or you don’t want them to influence you, there are different ways you can deal with your sad memory. .
- Remember that everything is in the past and try to relax. Whatever happened – people laughed at you, or you were in a dangerous situation – it’s all in the past.
- In some cases, thinking about a sad memory can be haunting. Observe your emotions as you continually recall the memory. If you find that even if you intentionally reminisce about it, it still has the power to hurt you, use another method to help you forget about your unhappy past.
- For example, suppose your childhood memory is riding with your father on a boat called “Pirate” and walking around a lake. In memory, your father, wearing red shorts and sunglasses, scolded you not to jump over the barrier on the boat and you fell into the lake. You’re sure these are the things that happened, but a few years later when you look back at the picture you took on that outing, you see your father in jeans, and the boat is called the “Kingdom.” . As you can see, memories are not always accurate, and they can be altered.
- Try changing the painful moment of the memory. Using the example above, if you still remember feeling scared and helpless when you fell in the lake, change it up by focusing on remembering how wonderful it felt when your father saved you.
- Every time you think about memories, they change a little differently. If you focus on good feelings instead of always thinking about sad feelings, your memories will be changed as you think. Of course they won’t be able to change from a bad memory to a great one, but they will lose the ability to hurt you.
- Try the method of merging happy memories together. For example, if you keep thinking about a time when you gave a clumsy presentation and made the whole class laugh at you, match this memory to a memory of a time when you gave a good presentation and received praise. Always thinking about good memories will help you avoid rummaging through your memory for positive thoughts when you are dealing with bad emotions.
- We are often caught up in our daily activities and completely indifferent to everything going on around us. Instead of operating in an “unconscious” state, spend some time paying attention to the smallest details, such as sounds or smells that you normally don’t notice. This will help you redirect your brain’s attention to the present instead of dwelling on the past.
- Repeat the “reminder” when your thoughts drift to places you don’t want them to. For example, you can say to yourself “I am here” or “I am still alive”. Use phrases that bring you back to the present moment.
- Pay attention to your feelings in the present. Pay attention to your senses: what do you hear, see, taste and smell right now?
- Try sitting meditation. Most meditation methods help you to focus your attention on reality. Paying attention to your breathing and freeing your mind of all distractions helps you live more in the present. Regular practice of meditation not only helps you focus, but meditation is also said to improve mood. [2] X Research Source
Have an Objective View
- Remember that painful pasts are also a part of life. Difficulties make us stronger, and help us appreciate the precious moments in life. If we don’t experience bad feelings, we won’t know how to appreciate good feelings.
- Try to notice your luck. Even if negative memories cost you a lot in life, make a list of the things that you feel lucky to have.
- Go places you’ve never been before, because that way you’ll have new experiences that aren’t “tainted” by the past. Book a plane ticket to a new city, or become a tourist in your own city and go to a neighborhood you don’t see often.
- If you don’t like to travel, change up your routine a bit. Go out to eat at a new restaurant you’ve never been to, cook up an elaborate dish, or invite friends over for dinner.
- Take part in a sport class, such as soccer or kickboxing. If you don’t like sports, challenge yourself to walk a few kilometers a day, or learn yoga. Challenging yourself physically is a great way to free your mind from negative thinking. Exercise also helps the brain release endorphins that improve mood. [3] X Research Sources
- Create a new product. You can sew a dress, draw a picture, or write music. When you put all your energy into creating a finished product, you don’t have much time to think about bad memories.
- Participate in volunteer activities. Helping others is a great way to stop thinking about your own problems.
- Using alcohol and tobacco as a way to let go of a traumatic past, or as a way to avoid negative thoughts that often lead to addiction. [5] X Research Sources If you feel the need to use alcohol or tobacco every time you want to forget a bad memory, you should seek out someone who can help you.
- Other forms of escape from the past should be avoided. If you tend to gamble, overeat, or have unhealthy habits every time you want to escape a negative feeling, you need to learn to recognize your own behavior and control it, or you You can cope with it on your own, or seek help from therapists or support groups.
- Eat a balanced diet that includes fresh fruits, lean meats, whole grains, and healthy fats.
- Set a goal of 30 minutes to 1 hour of exercise each day, even if that means walking a long distance after work.
- Try to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, because exhaustion will make you moody and easy to focus on bad memories. [7] X Research Sources
Overcoming Painful Memories
- Consider joining a support group. Look for a support group for like-minded people in your area. There are many support groups that help people with divorces, breakups, chronic illnesses, etc.
- If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your experience with others, write it down in a journal and keep it hidden where no one can find it.
- A therapist will help you find the cause and help you work through the pain. Your doctor will give you techniques to help you work through painful memories.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy is considered a useful therapy for people with psychological trauma. You can find a therapist who specializes in this area. [10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Symptoms of PTSA include flashbacks, nightmares, and panic-inducing thoughts.
- You may feel apathetic, depressed, or anxious often, and always feel like you are standing on the edge of an abyss.
- First, the psychologist will use medication to treat. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications are often prescribed for patients who have difficulty stopping negative thinking.
- Body therapy is a way to get back to how your body really feels. This approach helps you focus on the body’s “fight or flight” instinct and once real danger is not present, this mechanism will not be activated.
- Electroconvulsive therapy is an effective way to free yourself from trauma when other measures have failed. [12] X Research Source
Advice
- Renaming memories can help trick the brain into redirecting focus. For example, instead of referring to a “bad” memory, change the name to a “past” memory. Repeating the word “bad” in your head only makes it feel more “bad”.
- Don’t spend too much time on the traumatic phase. Sadness is a natural reaction after experiencing an unpleasant event, but you need to remember when it is enough to get out of this phase and start a normal life.
- No matter how bad the past is, it’s just the past; Don’t let the past affect your present and future because the past is gone, unless you have the ability to go back in time you can’t change it, so bury the past and try Stay strong and have fun!
This article was co-written by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Dr. Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City that focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 75,297 times.
Whether a bad memory stems from an embarrassing moment or a traumatic incident, it can linger in the mind for days, months, or years. Fortunately, there are ways to train your mind to deal with negative memories in a healthy way. Read the article below to find ways to dispel sad memories and ease any anxiety when thinking about them.
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