How to Flirt with a Guy Through Text

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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.

There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 170,012 times.

Texting is a great way to flirt with your guy. You can use texting to flirt with someone you just met, a guy you just fell in love with, or your partner to make your relationship more interesting. You can also use texting to communicate, exchange interests and connect with a guy before proceeding to the next stage.

Table of Contents

Start a story and flirt

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Beginning of the story. If you’re flirting with a new guy, start the conversation with something romantic. That way, he’ll get what you mean, and if he likes it, keep stirring the conversation in that direction. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, start with “Last night, I dreamed about you!” It’s a pretty subtle way of flirting. It shows that you had a hot or romantic dream about him, and if he accepts that, you can continue flirting a little more.
If he ignores the subtext, understand that he may not be interested in this.

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Send a flirty compliment. Everyone loves to hear good things about themselves, and compliments are a great way to flirt. If you’re going to start a conversation to flirt with someone, try commenting a bit loosely to make things easier.

For example, if you’re going out with a guy on the basketball team, you might write, “The gym was definitely buzzing when he walked in!”
Be honest and be specific. You don’t have to always compliment the other person’s appearance, let’s talk about something more specific. For example, instead of saying, “You’re so cute,” you could say, “You have a beautiful smile.”

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Try sending text messages at night. You shouldn’t start texting at 2 a.m. unless you’re sure he’s awake. However, texting at night can be more intimate and inviting. ^{[2] X Research Source}

At night there is always something that makes the two of you more comfortable and open. Try waiting until it’s completely dark before texting.
You can text “I’m curled up in a blanket. What are you doing?”

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Be yourself. In texting, you’re more likely to pretend to be stupid, wiggly, or sloppy than usual. You don’t have to, especially if unfortunately he thinks you’re that person, he’ll expect a different person if you two meet in real life. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, you don’t have to use a million exclamation points to express your excitement if you’re not really that excited in real life.

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Use a sense of humour more. Even if you don’t want to pretend to be someone else, it’s okay to be funny through text messages. Texting makes conversations short and lacks depth, so your sense of humor will make him want to get to know you better. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, let’s say you’ll be at home all night in your pajamas. Instead of texting about it, tell him about the fun night before, for example, “I went out with my friends last night, but I wish you were there.”

READ More: How to Avoid and Quit Drugs

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Don’t be afraid to joke. Joking can help create intimacy, as long as the guy has a sense of humor. You can tease him about the error in his message, for example the error caused by the autocorrect function. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, if he’s texting “I think you’re sexy” while referring to “eyes,” you can tease him about it. You might say “You think my ‘meter’ is sexy? Where on my body is it called ‘meter’?”

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Give him a cute nickname. Giving him a nickname may seem silly, but it will help him see how you feel. You can come up with slightly masculine nicknames, or break it up with silly and cute names. Either way, include it in your text to help him realize how you feel. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

For example, you can give masculine nicknames like “big guy” or “Thor”.
For cute nicknames, you can use “pet” or “bear”.

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Break the boredom. Sending the same text every day at the same time can cause boredom. Try breaking the habit by texting at different times of the day or changing the text to keep him interested. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

For example, a friendly text “Good morning, honey!” is a sweet way to start the day, but you shouldn’t send that text every morning.
Change the sentence a bit, for example, “Get up in the sun!” or “Can’t wait to see you at school!”

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Let him know that you think about him. If you see something that reminds you of him, take a photo. Send him a photo with a caption, saying it reminds you of him, and it will make him smile. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Always shoot things that he likes.
Skip overly serious topics like wedding rings or wedding cakes.

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Keep the conversation flowing. If the two of you are texting back and forth, you need to know how to cue to keep the conversation going. Responding to him with terse sentences won’t help. Instead, always contribute to the story, ask questions or introduce a new topic if there is nothing left to say. ^{[9] X Research Source}

For example, if he says “Do you like to watch movies?”, don’t just say “Yes”. Instead, give him a chance to continue talking by texting back, “Yes, especially when I get to go to the movies with a lovely guy like you. When can we go?”
Also, ask him about himself, for example, “What’s your favorite food?”

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Wait before getting erotic. You might be tempted to start with hot texts, but it’s better to wait a while. In fact, you should probably wait until you two are in a relationship before you start sending provocative texts. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Flirting is okay, for example you say you like his eyes.
What you should avoid here is sending him sensitive texts and trying to lure him into sex-related chatter. Of course, how you text is up to you, but you can surprise him by texting like that first.

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Ignore all sexually suggestive images. Even if you are in love, you should not send hot pictures. Once those photos are made public, you can’t take them down anymore, and there’s no guarantee the other person won’t come out. ^{[11] X Research Source}

While it’s OK to send flirty photos, like you’re kissing him, avoid all pictures that you don’t want your family to see if they’re posted online–because they’re not. can be leaked and anyone can see it.

Texting before and after the date

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Explore him. If you want to date, you can start by giving a hint. If you don’t feel like saying it outright, you can take a detour. For example, you could talk about your plans this weekend and wait to see if he takes the bait. ^{[12] X Research Source}

You can text “What are you going to do this weekend? I’m going to the movies. How about you?”
If you tell him your plans, you’re leaving the door open for him to suggest himself to join you.

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Invite him to play. If you want to be more outspoken, ask him directly via text. Just text naturally. That way, you’ve given him the opportunity to say no if he doesn’t really like you the way you want him to. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Try texts like, “This week’s been so long. I want to go somewhere for the weekend. How do you feel?”
You can also be more direct: “I’d love to go out sometime. Would you like to go out for coffee this weekend?”

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Get started on dating early. Texting can help the two of you plan your date, so text him a day early or on the same day. Let him know how excited you are about this, or how much you can’t wait to meet him. ^{[14] X Research Source}

For example, you could simply text this: “I can’t wait to see you tonight!”
You can also flirt a bit by adding a compliment: “I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight, especially if you’re wearing those familiar skinny jeans.”

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Texting after a date. If the date goes well, texting is a great way to let him know. Of course, one phone call can tell a lot more, but if you don’t have time to call him the next day, texting can reassure him that you had a good time too. . ^{[15] X Research Source}

Simple messages like “Last night was great!” is all you need.
However, there’s no harm in being a little more specific. “I enjoyed it when you took me out for sushi last night. The food was delicious! And I enjoyed being with you last night too.”

Know the Do’s and Don’ts

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Always be short and concise. While texting isn’t limited to characters like it used to be, you still need to keep your messages short. Long text messages can be frustrating because he’ll have to work through it all to understand what you’re saying. ^{[16] X Research Source}

In other words, don’t text him as long as a novel.
Abbreviations are fine, as long as the person likes to use them too, like Ko (No) or D (Okay).
However, do not overuse acronyms, especially those that are difficult to understand ^{[17] X Research Sources} These words, as well as emoticons, can turn many people off. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

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Pay attention to your tone. Satire is hard to convey through text messages, especially if you don’t know the other person well. Don’t use irony when flirting with a guy, at least until you both get to know each other better, as well as understand each other’s tone of voice better. ^{[19] X Research Source}

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Don’t wait too long. Sometimes, you may feel like flirting with the guy you like by waiting a long time before replying to a text message. It’s a kind of power struggle. However, in the world of texting, not responding to him for at least a day shows that you don’t like him very much. ^{[20] X Research Source}

So, if you like him, text him back quickly.
For texting, an hour is really a long time.

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Don’t text too much. If you send up to 20 texts a day, that might be too much, especially if he doesn’t reply to every single one. Text less, about 3 to 5 messages a day. That way, he’ll have a chance to miss you between texts. ^{[21] X Research source sex.sofeminine.co.uk/sex-sexuality/flirt-with-a-guy-over-text-d40634c494809.html}

Also, don’t text “Did you get my text” because they make you sound very desperate. If he hasn’t responded, he’s probably just busy.

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Do not use alcoholic beverages. Texting while drunk can make you say things you’ll regret later. You might be flirting more than you originally intended, or you could cut him off by saying crazy things. Self-restraint in such a situation is difficult, so try to avoid it as much as possible. ^{[22] X Research Source}

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Don’t make things up. If you’re a speculative person, texting can be a nightmare. It contains enough sentences for you to analyze but not enough for you to extract more information. If you are inclined to do so, do not deduce the content of the message. Sometimes the message “Hi there.” It’s just a greeting, it doesn’t show that he doesn’t like you just for the lack of an exclamation point. ^{[23] X Research Sources}

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Read the message again before sending it. Sometimes, the autocorrect function can backfire. Read the message again to make sure it makes sense before sending it. That way, you won’t have to get the “Huh?” question. from him. ^{[24] X Research Sources}

Also, while you don’t need to use standard grammar in your messages, there’s no harm in paying attention to grammar. Not everyone will be offended by grammar mistakes, but some will hate you for being grammatically correct.

Advice

Respect if he’s not interested. If he doesn’t seem to like you, stop flirting.
If you two are dating, try to talk to him in your texting style.

Steps

Start a story and flirt

Texting before and after the date

Know the Do’s and Don’ts

Advice

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