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This article was co-written by Patti Novak Williams. Patti Novak Williams is a professional matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti works individually with each client to help them find love. She has helped connect hundreds of couples, get hundreds of people engaged and married. Patti is the star of the series “Confessions of a Matchmaker”. She has been featured in the New York Times, New York Daily News, New York Post and The Wall Street Journal and appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show and The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Be Realistic, Serious, and Prepared to Find True Love”.
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Many men are very good at flirting with girls, but often fail to explain why they do it. This article is meant to help a guy – even the most unlucky – understand some of the fundamentals of the dating game and how to get the girls nod when you ask her out for the first time. .
Steps
The most basic things
- Supermarkets are not an easy place to make friends. Usually people don’t go to the grocery store or the bank in the hope of finding a love affair, which is why the traditional view is that bars, clubs and parties are the best places to hang out. Find a date. Don’t expect a good reaction if you try flirting with girls in places where they have to go for the sake of life.
- Instead, think of places like outdoor markets, coffee shops, and other places where people go because they want to go out. In such places perhaps at least girls are more receptive to acquaintances with strangers, since they don’t have to be busy doing important things.
- Unless you’re hoping to be the Don Juan guy (note: you won’t be able to do this), look out for rings before flirting with a girl. Does the girl wear a gold or diamond ring on the ring finger on one or both hands? If yes, she may be married (left hand) or engaged (right hand). Please respect this and do not disturb her.
- Men have countless ways to demonstrate social power and thus become more attractive. You can think about creating a really cool style or smart wit. Material wealth is a powerful expression of social power, so it’s no wonder that many guys still try to keep a nice car even when they’re always in need. Think about what you can do to enhance your quality of life and highlight your strengths.
- The most basic and perhaps most useful way to project social power is to appear confident. By being assertive in your words and actions, you can show that you have nothing to fear from other guys, and this will give you a strong look. That’s why it’s often said that confidence determines everything in dating. Be confident, and the rest will just be implementation details; If you don’t have confidence, you won’t be able to attract girls.
- More eye contact is better.
- Smile every time you look into the other person’s eyes. Don’t look away without smiling.
- Do not stare. Try not to glance at women’s bodies while talking to them.
- Practice keeping an open posture: don’t cross your arms and legs, keep your shoulders back, keep your head straight. This will make you appear more confident, comfortable, and approachable.
- Don’t mutter. Speak clearly and without hesitation.
- Lean slightly towards the other person when talking. You can tilt your head slightly forward while sitting.
- Even girls who really like you won’t sit around waiting for you to ask them out. They may think that you don’t notice them and decide to give up, or they may find you unattractive because you never had the courage to ask.
- When you feel like a certain girl but don’t ask her out on the very day that you realize you want to date, remember that you have at most about a month to ask. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.
Flirting with a girl
- Talking to someone you’ve only just met is a challenge for both of you. If you make a girl more comfortable, she’ll love you for it. Try commenting on innocuous details, such as the background music in the place. Give her honest feedback and watch for her reaction. Listen to what she has to say and ask for more details. When you express your opinion first, she will feel comfortable saying whether she agrees or disagrees with you.
- Try not to turn the conversation into an interrogation with questions like, “What do you do?” “Where do you live?”, “What school did you go to before?”. Instead, turn the questions into expressive sentences (like “You seem to have come from Hanoi” or “I guess you are the organizer of the event”). This will make you appear bolder and give her the opportunity to respond more naturally, which in turn will make her more comfortable and interested in the conversation.
- Even if you think your joke is a bit confusing or weird for many people, don’t be afraid to say it during a conversation. If the girl likes it, she will respond and laugh when you tell a joke, even if other people don’t laugh.
- A woman’s reactions to a compliment will often be agreeing (she’s completely herself), disagreeing (she looks embarrassed), or complimenting you back, although this is rare, especially is when two people just started talking. You need to prove yourself to be an interesting companion rather than saying outright that you find her attractive, as it’s obvious – otherwise you wouldn’t have come to meet her and flirt with her. isn’t it?
- Don’t be afraid to offer gentle criticism (in the form of questions, such as “but is that silly?” is a good way to do this) or gently tease, just don’t go. overdone. Girls will often appreciate a guy who shows interest but doesn’t dazzle at her, because that means he doesn’t get attached so quickly that they feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, a guy who just opens his mouth to mock is rude and childish.
- If you know something unique that you think she’d like, like renting a pedal boat, suggest it to her; If not, you can invite her to lunch, coffee or drinks somewhere. These options will give the two of you plenty of opportunities to chat without distractions, and if you’re lucky, you might even get your first kiss.
- Offer to get paid on the first date, but don’t insist on paying. Some women find the notion that men always have to pay offensive and prefer to share or pay their own way. You should indulge her whims.
- Give her some space. This is just a first date, not a marriage covenant. Once you’ve agreed on a time and place, don’t call her back until it’s time to meet up. You will have plenty of time to talk later.
- If she calls and asks to reschedule, think positively about her – if you want to say no, she’s already done this. Be patient and flexible.
Flirting with a friend
- Make it clear that you want to go on a date with her and not just ask her out. It doesn’t help if you hide or don’t make your intentions clear.
Flirting with a colleague
- If you work at a large company like a department store or large corporate office, try to target girls who work in other departments. That way, no matter what happens, both of you can continue to work without awkwardness.
- Be brief, polite, and if you get rejected, don’t try to push her or continue to annoy her. Even if you think your attitude is very cordial, the girl may not like you to continue to interfere in her life after she has rejected it. You let her be comfortable.
- If you’re still as productive as ever, your boss probably won’t mind you trying to flirt with a girl at work, even going on regular dates. But you need to remember: The office is first and foremost a place to work; everything else is secondary, no matter how interesting and important it is to you.
Flirting with a girl on the go
- Trips often create a lot of conversation, so you probably won’t have to rack your brains for something to talk about. Just say that you came here for a few days and asked for some local information. Most girls will happily answer and add ideas, so the conversation goes on and on.
- If you believe you’re ready to end the relationship, do the right thing and work it out first . Don’t sneak around behind your girlfriend’s back like a coward. Once you are officially single, you will have many opportunities to flirt with other girls.
Advice
- Practice – There is a work of grinding iron with a needle. Dispel your fear of talking to women by treating every woman you meet in your daily life like a normal person. Talk to them like you’d talk to other men until you get used to the idea that women are human just like you and that it’s okay to talk to them.
- Always treat her equally. If everything you do is just to please her, you’ll sound like you’re not confident. If you always treat her like she’s taller than you, she’ll dominate. And of course, if you don’t treat her well, she won’t even notice you.
- If you have a date, look her up on social media to see what she’s interested in. This is a great way to find ideas to start a conversation on a date.
- Let’s relax. Remember that no matter what, you are both the same person. It’s normal to be nervous, but you should handle it as tactfully and as confidently as possible instead of letting the nervousness turn into fear.
- Just like a performance, it’s better to slowly probe the audience’s reaction instead of constantly playing tricks until you realize that no one wants to clap. In other words, show your best and stop. No one likes a clumsy and obtuse fool. If you make an impression on a girl, she’ll let you know at some point.
- There are girls who are always surrounded by satellites. Persistence, an optimistic attitude and elegant style will help you stand out from others.
- Sincerely compliment her and ask for her number. Women often prefer men who are sincere and proactive.
Warning
- Avoid being too urgent or lacking in confidence. That won’t get you any more chances. The girls aren’t looking for injured animals to take care of themselves – they’re looking for a lovable and stable guy to share happy hours with. Remember that you won’t be able to get someone to give you something just by expecting it. Give her some compelling reasons.
- Pay attention to your eyes. DO NOT stare at any part of a woman’s body, especially when she’s talking to you. Remember, looking at her while talking and staring are two different things. You need to avoid staring.
- The emergence of the so-called “art of flirting” in recent years has led to a trend of flirting with girls with a disdain for women and only for short-term fun. After all, that “art” is just being sassy and constantly playing games of chance until you get lucky and land a date. It’s best to avoid these tricks, because it’s disrespectful to women, and they’re useless when you want to have a serious relationship.
This article was co-written by Patti Novak Williams. Patti Novak Williams is a professional matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti works individually with each client to help them find love. She has helped connect hundreds of couples, get hundreds of people engaged and married. Patti is the star of the series “Confessions of a Matchmaker”. She has been featured in the New York Times, New York Daily News, New York Post and The Wall Street Journal and appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show and The Morning Show with Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Be Realistic, Serious, and Prepared to Find True Love”.
This article has been viewed 49,033 times.
Many men are very good at flirting with girls, but often fail to explain why they do it. This article is meant to help a guy – even the most unlucky – understand some of the fundamentals of the dating game and how to get the girls nod when you ask her out for the first time. .
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