How to Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel

You may feel lost and hopeless, as if nothing good will ever happen again. Maybe an important relationship has ended, you feel lost, or you feel completely alone. While it’s easy to think that nothing will change, in reality your pain lasts forever. Overcome the storm and you will see a rainbow.

Table of Contents

Towards a good future

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Find solutions. You probably can’t “fix” everything spectacularly, but you can take steps to alleviate some of the problems you’re experiencing. If you feel overwhelmed with work, school, and family, consider taking a day off to reorganize your life. If you feel overwhelmed, give yourself time to sort things out. Solving a problem means bridging the gap between your desires and your current position. ^{[1] X Research Resources} You can’t make problems go away, but you can mitigate them.

Your house is full of garbage but you are too tired or busy to clean them? Hire someone to help.
Find a way to set a ‘deadline’ for each task, and do it in order.
See tips in How to Solve Problems.

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Pretend. The saying “fake it until you make it” can be applied in many situations, even when you feel hopeless. If you think things are only going to get worse in your head, don’t be surprised if it turns out to be true. Don’t let bad predictions creep in and ruin your day; Instead, train your mind to experience success and happiness as if you were living it. The more you believe you are capable, the more likely you will be to perform. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Hope everything goes well.
Think of good predictions, such as that there is no way you can go wrong or that things will work out in your favor.

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Plan what you want in life. Find the light at the end of the tunnel by creating it. Imagine yourself years later, when your current position is just a distant memory. What would your typical Thursday look like? What are you doing, who do you see in your life? Where do you live? What is your job? What do you do to enjoy this life? Now that you have your own picture of the future, take the steps to make it come true. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you find yourself with another job, make it real. Go back to school or start gaining new skills. Nothing is beyond your means, and it’s never too late to start something new if it helps you live a happy life.

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Add happiness to life. You don’t need a lot of money or beautiful things to be rich. Happiness is mostly found in the little things, or the moment you “stop and smell the roses.” If you’ve just moved and are feeling distant from friends, call or video chat regularly to stay in touch with someone you care about. When you’re feeling down, it’s a great time to find happiness in the little things: a shopping spree, a delicious cake, or a sunny day. Allow yourself to smile at the things that happen to you.

Think about the things that bring joy in your life (playing with your kids, volunteering, playing badminton) and decide to do more of the things that bring you happiness. Play with the dog, dance around the room, sing loudly in the car.
Adding happiness to life also means getting rid of the unhappy things. This could include staying away from people who make you angry, canceling your credit cards, learning how to cook so you can avoid eating junk food, stopping watching TV or reading newspapers, and more.

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Stay connected. Get in touch with people you admire and enjoy being around. Play with people who are happy, naturally optimistic. ^{[4] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source} Especially if you’re fighting with yourself, try to stay away from pessimistic and critical people. Instead, interact with people who smile easily. Laugh often, and help you feel good.

Spend time with lots of people in real relationship-building ways. If you’re having a hard time moving and feel distant from your friends, stay in touch with the people you care about. Instead of watching TV all night, play games, or instead of going to the movies, go for a walk together. Choose activities that help you make great memories and enjoy your time together.
As noted above, stay in touch with the people you care about.

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Be optimistic. Positive thinking helps you lead a happier and less stressful life. ^{[5] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to the source} This means finding the good out of the bad and being grateful for the good things that happen in your life. You can be very strict with restaurants, people or movies, but don’t allow yourself to bring that attitude into everything in your life.

Don’t let yourself polarize your thoughts when you see elements in life as “all good” or “all bad”. ^{[6] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source} Remember that most things have a good side and a bad side and only a few things are completely good and bad. If you find yourself blaming yourself for losing your job or falling into financial hardship, remember that there are many factors that influence the outcome. And no, you are never a complete failure.
If you catch yourself having a boring or severe thought, stop and decide if you want a new thought or replace it with another. You can replace complaining about bad weather by thinking about the need for water for plants and comforting yourself that it doesn’t rain every day.”

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Rest. If you feel overwhelmed and show no signs of stopping, take a break. It could be a weekend getaway or an afternoon hike up the mountain. If you feel constrained by time, clear your mind by setting aside problems with an easy-to-read book. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Rest or relaxation does not mean avoiding problems. Find activities you love and do them! This may also include taking a shower, journaling, or playing music.
Taking a break once in a while won’t do much – finding time to enjoy and take care of yourself is something you have to do every day. This will help you keep moving forward no matter how hard life gets.

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Do psychotherapy. The stress and overload from the difficulties in life make you unable to solve them all. A therapist can help you gain different perspectives and better cope during a crisis, helping to change your life for the better. ^{[8] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

Psychotherapy allows you to discover yourself and grow.
Practice meditation or yoga.

Accept the current situation

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Accept the fact. Even though you don’t like the current situation, you can accept what you can’t control. For example, you can’t magically transfer money to the bank or get your lover back, but you can accept that it’s part of reality. While acceptance isn’t easy, it allows you to reduce stress and live a more peaceful life. ^{[9] X Research Source}

When things don’t go your way, take a breath and tell yourself that you’re accepting what’s happening, even if you don’t like it.
You can practice acceptance at all times in your life, not just during difficult times. Accept it when you’re stuck in traffic knowing you’ll be late for an appointment, when the kids are sick and crying, or when you’re disappointed about your grades at school.

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Take control of what you can do well. Although most things are out of your control, really focus on what is within your power. If you feel like things in your life are out of control and you’re unsupported, take a break. Find out what you’re really good at and tackle it to keep it under control. Even if you can’t control the situation, you can control your reaction.

Make a list of your stressors, then pick out the ones that are solvable. You may not be able to go to the grocery store, which can be solved by going to the market (or asking a friend to help).
Don’t depend on people who pretend they know more than you when making decisions. ^{[10] X Research Source} This is your life and only you are responsible for your decisions.

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Realize that pain is a choice. While emotional pain is inevitable and a part of everyone’s experience, you don’t have to endure it. Suffering is a type of thinking based on ruminating thoughts (living in the past), blaming others, or telling yourself how bad you and your situation are. You cannot experience life without experiencing suffering, but you can learn to reduce suffering. ^{[11] X Research Source}

This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or pretending they don’t exist; It’s about changing the way you think about things. Instead of believing you’re unlucky, say that you’re not happy about the situation but can control and accept it, and don’t feel down about yourself.
Although you may experience a lot of heartache after the end of a friendship or a natural disaster, don’t consider yourself a victim. Remind yourself that tragedy happens (to varying degrees) to each person throughout their life. And this happens to you too.

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Use this time to learn about yourself. The good times don’t tell who you really are deep inside; but the hard times will speak for itself. Do you like what is being revealed? If not, it can be a useful time in your life when you identify the traits you want to perfect and enhance.

Take a step back and observe how you react to others and things when going through a difficult time. Do you get angry at others, or use pain as an excuse for not completing the task? Or do you find yourself capable of dealing with the situation and doing whatever it takes to get through it? Don’t judge these actions, but see them as they are and as a reflection of how you handle difficult situations on your own.
Observe the new sides of yourself that show up during difficult times, both the good and the bad.
Try keeping a journal of your feelings so you can keep track of your moods.

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Practice love. When battling a tough time, you may find that most of your attention is on yourself and your needs. When you feel loved by others, you allow yourself to experience happiness, less loneliness, and less stress. ^{[12] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to the Source} Even when you’re discouraged, treat others kindly and help them, even if you feel they don’t deserve it.

Remember that you are not the only one who needs help.
If possible, help others when they need it. Help someone with their groceries, offer to cook dinner for your weary wife, or be more patient when solving tough homework with your kids.
If there’s a screaming child on the plane, take a breath and remind yourself that this is upsetting and the parents can be very frustrated and embarrassed. Instead of expressing anger, ask if you can help them.

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Be grateful. Whether you’re looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, take some time and enjoy the tunnel. You may be thinking about the things you don’t have or want to have, but remember that you can also enjoy what you have in the present moment. Gratitude allows you to see more than just the bad. ^{[13] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Express gratitude every day. Be thankful for the little things, like not having to line up at the store, going for a walk with your dog, or even not having to hear the fire siren. There is always something for you to be grateful for every day.

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Laugh a lot and always have fun. Find a way to make yourself smile or at least smile. This could include watching movies about animals, surrounding yourself with happy, upbeat people, or going to a comedy show. Laughter relaxes your body and improves your emotions as well as benefits your brain. ^{[14] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source}

You don’t have to search hard to have fun. Watch comedy on TV or short comedies. Play with your pet or help babysit. Play games overnight with friends.

Steps

Towards a good future

Accept the current situation

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