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This article was co-written by Mobile Kangaroo. Joseph Alexander is the CEO of Mobile Kangaroo, a comprehensive repair shop and Apple authorized service provider based in Mountain View, CA. Mobile Kangaroo has been repairing electronic devices such as computers, phones and tablets for over 16 years now. They are an authorized Apple service provider with facilities in more than 20 cities.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Finding deleted messages is not easy. Even so, if you think your husband is hiding something, there are still a few ways you can try, but most will require you to do something that could make him find out. The most important factor is time – the longer a message is deleted, the harder it is to recover. Although it’s not easy, you can still quickly find answers to your questions by talking to him directly. You’re a strong person, and you’ll get through this, but chatting is better than sneaking through his phone.
Steps
Using Android tools
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Find a Google Drive backup (if available). The most reliable way to recover deleted messages on Android is to access the backup file using Google Drive. To access files and read messages, you need to access the Google Drive associated with your husband’s account on the computer. Find the date you want to see the data in the backup folder and open it. Deleted messages are saved here. [1] X Research Source
- Note, this may be illegal where you live. Some states in the United States consider accessing someone’s private chat information without permission a felony. [2] X Research Source
- If Google Drive does not have a backup, the ability to access deleted messages is very low.
- If you want to enable this feature for the future, open the Settings tab on your husband’s phone, tap “Connected Devices”, select “Backup” and select “ Back up now” (Back up now). Make sure the SMS box is checked when you do this and Google will back up any messages on your phone. [3] X Research Sources
- If you’re signed up for Google One, you can set up automatic message backups.
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Another way to back up is to download the SMS Backup and Restore app. This is a free option for Android users who want to back up their messages. You need to download the app on your husband’s phone, and then connect the backup file to your Google account. Now you can back up his messages every day, every week or every hour and see the messages when you want. [4] X Research Sources
- Many Android message recovery apps and programs are available for a fee, but the SMS Backup and Restore app is free.
- If he sees the app on his phone, you’ll have to explain. This application does not hide itself on the phone.
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Use caution with third-party apps or programs. There are many apps and programs that claim to be able to recover deleted Android apps. However, they are often ineffective and contain malicious code or large software that can harm your phone or steal your data. After the messages on Android are deleted and the backup data is gone, the information is also lost. [5] X Research Sources
- If you’re determined to learn, try Android Data Recovery, Dr. Fone, Tenorshare UltData or FonePaw. These are all computer programs that offer free trials and claim to be able to recover deleted messages. [6] X Research Source While they’re not effective at recovering messages, at least you don’t need to wonder if you can recover messages on his phone. [7] X Research Sources
Restore backup data on iPhone
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Make sure he has a backup file to restore. There’s no way to access deleted messages on iPhone if they haven’t been backed up. Fortunately, iCloud usually does this automatically. To check the backup, open his phone and open “Settings”. Tap the Apple ID card and select “iCloud”, select “Manage Storage” and “Backups”. This shows you a list of when backups are available. [8] X Research Sources
- Note, in the United States, it is illegal to peek at your husband’s phone, depending on the regulations of each state. So think carefully before you act. [9] X Research Source
- You must restore your iPhone to view deleted messages. No matter how you do this, he’ll know you’ve restored your iPhone, so it’s best to have an explanation ready if you decide to take action.
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Restore your phone using iCloud to see old messages. Connect your phone to the computer and open the phone’s folder on the computer. Select “Restore iPhone” to erase the current content. [10] X Research Source You can choose when the backup needs to be restored. Wait a few minutes for the phone to finish restoring all the data at the time of that backup. [11] X Research Source Any messages that have not been deleted at that time will show up in his inbox.
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Use iTunes to restore a backup if you haven’t set up iCloud. Connect his phone to the computer and open iTunes. Click the phone icon in the left toolbar, and select “Restore iPhone” or “Restore Backup”. This will erase all data on the phone. From here, choose when to back up and any messages at that point show up. [12] X Research Source
- You can use Finder to do this if you’re using a Mac computer with macOS Catalina or later. The process is similar, but you’ll open the phone menu once it shows up in Finder, instead of iTunes.
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Use caution when using third-party apps and programs. Similar to Android, third-party apps are often ineffective in recovering deleted messages. Most of these apps and programs are either malicious or designed to steal data. However, if you really want to give it a go, try popular options like Dr. Fone, Enigma Recovery, PhoneRescue and Tenorshare UltData. Even so, most users cannot recover deleted messages using these apps. [13] X Research Source
Contact the network operator
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Contact your carrier to see if they will deliver the message to you. Carriers keep messages for a period of time. Although they don’t share it with you when you ask for it, some carriers do introduce backup software that allows you to view recently deleted messages. Asking for carrier support doesn’t always work, but it’s still worth a try. [14] X Research Source
- Some carriers even introduce their own deleted message recovery program (Verizon is the major carrier that does this).
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Use a parental control app to see his messages on your phone. Some apps have a feature to track children’s activities on the phone. You can download one of these apps on his phone and connect it to yours to track his activity. Although you can’t see deleted messages, you can see any messages he would have composed before they were deleted. Two popular options are SecureTeen and TeenSafe. [15] X Research Source
- He will discover this app on his phone. This is not a long term solution.
- Note, this is illegal in many states of the United States without someone’s permission. In addition, you will also cause the other person to lose trust. You’re better off not doing this unless there’s a good reason. [16] X Research Source
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Try paying for spy apps if you really need to find out information for a long time. This type of application will hide when you download someone’s phone, and help you track their activity on the phone. You usually pay a usage fee, but they allow you to see messages on your phone or computer without him knowing. [17] X Research Source
- Again, depending on where you live this would be illegal. This is immoral unless you know he’s doing something wrong and you need proof. In most cases, you shouldn’t do this.
Act
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Realize the consequences when he is innocent. You probably feel hurt when your partner cheats or hides something. However, if he is innocent, you will lose his trust when you peek into private conversations. It will be difficult for you to return to the original state; So find other ways to ease your fears when you can. [18] X Research Sources
- In some states, it’s a felony to peek into someone’s electronic communications – even if you’re married. Make sure you’re willing to take the risk when doing this. [19] X Research Source
- If you really want to know something, hire a detective. This is the safest way to obtain information legally and without breaking the law.
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Talk about what makes you think of sneaking a peek at his phone. In this case, you are probably going through a difficult time in your relationship. This can be difficult, but you need to remember that marriage is about two people, and even when things need to be discussed, two people are still a team. Let him know what bothers you. Maybe you just misunderstood! Either way, you’ll still learn a lot by talking about issues instead of sneaking around. [20] X Research Sources
- You might say, “Can we have a little chat? You’ve been acting strange lately and it worries me. Is there anything I need to know?”
- You could try saying, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting cautiously on the phone lately. Are you talking to someone who makes me unhappy or something else? Is something going on?”
- You could also say, “I feel like you’ve been aloof lately. I would be happy if you could open up to me and let me know when something is going on.”
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Question him when you suspect him of cheating and you have proof. If there are obvious signs, you probably don’t need to peek at his phone. Give evidence and talk to him in peace, comfort, and sincerity. Try to have a respectful conversation and figure out what you should do next. [21] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “I see you’ve been late for work lately, and you’re just excited when you talk about your new salesperson. Did I do something to her that you didn’t know? I feel anxious and want to know the truth.”
- You could also say, “I heard you talking on the phone with an old friend, and noticed you started deleting messages. What’s happening? If I’m in another relationship, you need to know too.”
- Maybe he’s not cheating and you’re just misunderstanding. Be open to seeing things.
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See a relationship counselor if you want to mend your relationship. If he’s hiding something and you want to find out, seeing a counselor is the best first solution. If he’s not hiding anything but you’re still thinking about rummaging through old texts, you should still see a counselor. No matter what problems you face in your marriage, a therapist or counselor will help you work through them together, change the way you communicate, and get back to the beginning! [22] X Research Source
- Couples turn to counseling for a variety of reasons – it doesn’t mean your marriage is in trouble. Think of relationships as cars; Even if your car is in good working order, you still need to have it serviced from time to time.
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This article was co-written by Mobile Kangaroo. Joseph Alexander is the CEO of Mobile Kangaroo, a comprehensive repair shop and Apple authorized service provider based in Mountain View, CA. Mobile Kangaroo has been repairing electronic devices such as computers, phones and tablets for over 16 years now. They are an authorized Apple service provider with facilities in more than 20 cities.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Finding deleted messages is not easy. Even so, if you think your husband is hiding something, there are still a few ways you can try, but most will require you to do something that could make him find out. The most important factor is time – the longer a message is deleted, the harder it is to recover. Although it’s not easy, you can still quickly find answers to your questions by talking to him directly. You’re a strong person, and you’ll get through this, but chatting is better than sneaking through his phone.
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