How to Find a One Night Stand with a Woman

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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.

There are 16 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

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The rules of society are changing, and more and more people have sex lives outside of a normal love relationship. A one-night stand, the easiest type of meeting and then having sex, is a random but emotional meeting between two people who agree, and they boldly come together because they believe they will never meet. again later. To have a successful one-night stand, you need to find a passionate partner, practice safe sex, and cut off contact once it’s over.

Table of Contents

Find a passionate partner

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Go to a pub or a nightclub. When it comes to finding a one-night mate, there’s one tactic that’s always right, and that’s exploring the nightlife. Go to your favorite pub or nightclub, hang out and watch for a while. Pay attention to the women around you and look out for those standing alone, looking like they’re looking for a companion. When you find someone you like, talk to her and offer her a drink. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Don’t harass women if they don’t want to be bothered, and don’t suggest sex too quickly.

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Use a dating app. In this 21st century, having a one night stand is as easy as picking up the phone to make a call. Download a dating app designed to bring like-minded partners together, and start playing in the digital space. You can tell your future partner a little about yourself and learn a little about them. If you find the right person, you can start talking about the possibility of elevating the virtual relationship to the physical level. ^{[2] X Research Source}

It’s often easier to get straight to the point of one-night stands through technology rather than face-to-face.
Some apps like Tinder and Down are designed with the simple purpose of connecting people who want to have sex. This is definitely the app you need. Women on apps like Bumble, OkCupid, and eHarmony are primarily looking for long-term relationships.

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Chatting with women going out to dinner alone. Join meetups and find places where you can take action. There are certainly many qualified men and women at intimate parties, you might even find a mutual friend to introduce yourself to. Spend some time flirting with different women and get a feel for who has an open mind on one-night stands. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Know the limits of a decent person. If she has been drinking too much, her thinking may not be clear. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
You have to make sure she’s not with someone else before you start flirting with her.

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Ask your friends to tag you. Ask a close friend to play the matching game. They can have other friends in the same situation as you and don’t mind being labeled by someone they trust. They’ll help say a few nice words about you and confirm the personality of the girl you’re meeting, so the two of you don’t have to worry about “not knowing what kind of person he/she is?”. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Ideally, she should be someone you’re not too close to. In general, you should not sleep with someone that could adversely affect your friendship.

Start taking action

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How to look your best. Since one-night stands are mostly physical in nature, you should dress as attractively as possible. Thoroughly bathed and groomed. Choose a nice, clean outfit to highlight your strengths. Spray some perfume. Above all, you must show confidence. The more confident you appear, the more attractive you are. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Take some time to clean the area you’ll be close to if you’re planning on having sex at the table. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Show interest in her. Once you’ve found a suitable partner, ask for her name and learn a little about her. That way you’ll have just the right amount of information about the person you’ll be close to to make that temporary connection more memorable. Help her feel comfortable by seeing them as a person of their own, not just a sex toy. Having sex is one thing, but no one wants to feel taken advantage of. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Don’t rush it, it will only make you look desperate. No one wants to be with someone who just wants to enjoy without trying.
Notice if she reciprocates your interest. Shy glances, smiles, raised eyebrows, and a willingness to flirt back sexually are all good signs. If she purses or licks her lips, ruffles her hair or touches her body in a provocative way, or focuses on sexy parts to get your attention, it’s definitely a sign that she wants to go further. ^{[9] X Research Source}
There is no time limit for arranging a one-night stand. Take as much time as you want to learn about your partner. Chat, invite her to dinner or drinks. Ideally, both of you feel excited about the activities before sex. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Make your intentions clear. As soon as the opportunity for physical closeness presents itself, don’t get lost in your desires. Don’t lie, show fake emotions, or waste time rambling to get what you want. One night stands should be a consensual experience between two people. The two of you have grown up, are responsible people and can determine if you are suitable for quick relationships or not. ^{[11] X Research Source}

When the time has come to act, you need to take it lightly. Say something like, “I find you very attractive and I want to make you happy tonight, if you like.”
If she really wants to see you later, she might feel pressured to do something she wouldn’t do if she didn’t see you again.

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Bring protective gear. Always come to your appointment prepared. If you are a man, you should prepare several condoms in your wallet to avoid being detected as an unsafe sex partner. If you’re a woman, consider wearing a mouthguard. It’s best to be upfront about any STIs you may have to avoid upsetting your partner later. ^{[12] X Research Source}

It’s better to carry protective gear than to deal with the unintended consequences afterward.
Never hide an illness or sexually transmitted disease. Your partner’s health is important. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Help her feel comfortable during the fun. Since you’ve never been together, stay open to letting each other know about your personal desires, limits, and comfort levels. Find out if a certain technique, pose, or behavior is right for her before practicing or asking. Respect her limits and be careful not to make her feel pressured or self-conscious, and conversely, be clear about what you can and cannot accept. Once the two of you understand each other, an intimate night out can be a lot of fun. ^{[14] X Research Source}

A one-night stand can be a great opportunity to express lustful desires without worrying about being seen as weird by others, but everyone has their limits. Remember, the two of you are basically working to please each other, and unless your views have been clearly agreed in advance, no one can have complete control over things. ^{[15] X Research Source}
You need your partner’s approval for every action step. Regardless of whether the coercion occurs before or after the two of you go to bed together, it is still wrong.

Handling the ending

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Spend the rest of the evening together. After the main work is done, relax and stay together for a while. Sex should be accompanied by a certain degree of respect, and it’s pointless to run away or make excuses to leave right after sex, unless she so desires. Relax and have fun together that night, when it’s morning, everyone goes their separate ways. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Leaving as soon as you’re done sends the message that you don’t want to be with her at all, and this will ruin their experience. ^{[17] X Research Source}
Remember that you are with another person and their feelings may be hurt.

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Don’t send mixed signals. Resist the pressure to hug or kiss a lot after sex, and don’t tell her how much you like her. You may wish to bring emotions into the matter, but that will only complicate things for both of you. Be nice and act friendly to her, but don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. If you’ve been honest about what you’re after, there’s no reason to make your time together more meaningful than it really is. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Never say “I’ll call/text you” if you don’t mean to.

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Let her know it’s up to her to keep in touch or not. The two of you should clearly state the appropriate level of contact before going their separate ways. Maybe the two of you are satisfied with what you’ve been through and don’t feel the need to see each other again or keep in touch. Perhaps you want to be just friends and send text messages from time to time. Reaffirm that you both agree this will only happen once. ^{[19] X Research Source}

Keep things light. You don’t need to send each other friend requests on Facebook, or make plans to meet again just because you two spent the night together.
Sometimes emotions can develop randomly. If that’s not what you want then be clear. Remind her of the original deal. Be firm (but not rude) if you have to.

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Finished satisfactorily. Instead of leaving with clothes in hand and bowing in shame, cherish the time you spent together. Thank her for the happy time and let her know you’re happy to know her. Sex should be a satisfying interaction that neither side regrets. One night stand won’t do you any good if it brings shame on you. ^{[20] X Research Source}

Reassure her that you will keep everything that happens between the two of you a secret.
If you act smart, a one-night stand can bring happiness and fulfillment to both of you without leaving any awkward feelings behind.

Advice

When your goal is a one-night stand, it means you are looking for a like-minded person who is willing to be close without a long-term commitment, and you shouldn’t convince anyone who doesn’t like this.
Pre-warm her about the idea of going to bed with you by complimenting her body, making provocative jokes, and using erotic language.
Don’t focus too much on looks. It’s important that your partner is enthusiastic and accepting of your flirting efforts. The sexiest girl might not be the one you get a chance to bring home.
Avoid saying bland flirting. They only make you laugh, not useless.
Unrequited sex is probably one of the most enjoyable because you don’t have to worry about seeing that person again. Grab this opportunity to fulfill your quirky wishes and get a little wild.
You also have to satisfy her. That’s the least you can do.
If you’re going to bring someone home, make sure your place is clean and tidy.
The presence of a roommate can complicate matters if the two of you lead each other to the room. Ask them to go out for a few hours or make them avoid themselves while you bring her home.

Warning

Know when a girl likes but pretends to be tall and when she wants to be alone. Never force someone to do something they don’t want.
Drink alcohol in moderation. Drinking a few cups can help you relax, but drinking too much will hinder you. Stupid drunken behavior will irritate and detract from your charm. In the worst case scenario, you may wake up without remembering what happened last night.
Always use protection when having sex with someone you don’t know well. Not using the right precautions can lead to unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, or at least make you think you have them.
In some cases, you and your partner can develop an emotional relationship after having sex. Remember this and be prepared to deal with it.

Steps

Find a passionate partner

Start taking action

Handling the ending

Advice

Warning

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