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If you have a loved one with autism or you yourself have autism, sometimes you feel the need to explain it to people. For a satisfactory explanation, it is helpful to learn as much about autism as possible. You can then explain how autism affects a person’s social skills, understanding, and behavior.
Steps
Understanding autism to explain to others
- Keep this in mind when explaining to others about autism. You need to explain that not all people with autism act the same, just like the actions of normal people are not the same.
- When describing an autistic person, you need to emphasize the individual’s needs.
- The voice is unusual and even, producing strange rhythms and timbres.
- Repeating questions or phrases (parody)
- Difficulty expressing your needs and wants
- Slow in processing spoken language, not responding quickly to instructions, or confused because too many words are spoken too quickly
- Literally interpreting language (confusion for sarcasm, irony, and rhetoric)
- Many people with autism show signs of not being interested in everything around them. They simply are not aware or pay attention to the people around them. This makes it difficult for them to connect with others.
- People with autism may have a different way of listening than the average person. For example, making eye contact is so annoying and distracting for them that they may need to struggle to concentrate. As such, what you think is not paying attention is actually their adjustment to better hearing.
- People with autism can act like they don’t hear what other people talk to them. This could be because they are slow to process sound, or there are too many distractions in the room. Ask them to go somewhere quieter and stop from time to time during the conversation to give them time to think.
- For children with autism, playing with other children can be very challenging because complicated social rules are difficult for them to understand, and children will find it easier to not participate.
- Follow a strict timetable.
- Very nervous about sudden changes (e.g. changes at school).
- Use a relaxing object to deal with stress.
- Arrange objects in order (e.g. line up toys by color and size).
Explaining social skills of autistic people to adults
- People with good social skills can be just a little awkward and clumsy. Sometimes they make thoughtless comments that don’t fit into the conversation.
- Some people with autism are unable to interact in a normal social situation.
- Never force an autistic person to make eye contact. They may be afraid, [5] X Research on their speaking skills will dissipate and this can cause sensory overload.
- Some people with autism are able to make eye contact without too much difficulty. Again, this depends on the individual.
- Due to differences in sensation and attention, people with autism may find it difficult to focus on dialogue. They don’t ignore the person talking; maybe they’re struggling to engage the interaction.
- Instruct others to express themselves clearly when they want to talk to someone with autism. The person should keep a close distance from the autistic person, call the autistic person’s name and preferably within their line of sight. If they don’t respond when called, the other person needs to try again because the autistic person may not be paying attention.
- Remind people that “striking up” is always considered condescending behavior. People with autism who cannot speak also need to be treated as equals with their peers.
- As evidenced by the careers of talented, non-verbal people like Amy Sequenzia, a writer and self-speaker activist for people with autism like herself.
- In explaining this difficulty, you can relate using emoticons when texting. If someone texted you “Wow, that’s great”, you would assume they were telling the truth. However, if the message is accompanied by a symbol like “:-P” representing a person sticking their tongue out, you will understand that the message is a mockery.
- People with autism can learn to understand figurative language. Some people are quite adept at shades of irony and humor.
Explain the difference in the way people with autism talk
- Saying that it’s best for people to express their feelings clearly. For example, a person with autism may not understand why you are looking down, but if you tell them you feel sad because your father scolded you, they may know how to respond to you better.
- Normal people may find this impolite, but in general, people with autism do not mean to belittle the thoughts and feelings of others. They may not realize that the person they’re talking to doesn’t really care about what they’re saying.
- Some people with autism are very shy and shy away from discussing something they are particularly interested in for fear of being rude. In this case, they need to be reassured that it’s perfectly normal to talk about their passions from time to time, especially when the person opposite them asks about them.
- It’s also helpful to have a few reasons to leave in advance, such as “I have to go, or I’ll be late” or “I’m so tired, I just want to be alone right now” (that are expressions that many people with autism can understand).
Explain physical conventions
- Some people with autism enjoy physical contact. Many of them are delighted to hug family members and close friends.
- You can ask if you are not sure. Ask “Do you want a hug?” or take it slow and show the autistic person so they have a chance to tell you to stop. Never approach and touch them from behind, as you might startle them to the point of panic.
- This preference may change from day to day. An autistic boy who normally likes to hug and kiss suddenly refuses when asked if he wants a hug. This is often due to a difference in sensation – it may be that the person with autism is overwhelmed and can’t stand being hugged at the same time. You should not take this as a personal matter.
- Suggest that people can ask what people with autism need in response. For example, “Do you find this room too noisy? Shall we go somewhere else?”
- NEVER make fun of an autistic person’s sensitivities (e.g. slamming cupboard doors to see how they jump). This can lead to emotional overload, fear or even panic attacks, and this behavior is considered bullying.
- For example: “I’m going to the garage. If you want to get out of the room or cover your ears, just do it.”
- Swinging back and forth.
- Repeating words and sounds (speech parody). [11] X Research Source
- Wave.
- Finger snap.
- Head banging. (Talk to a therapist or responsible adult if this becomes a problem. This can be physically damaging, so it is best replaced with other self-stimulating behavior, such as rapid head shaking. A therapist can help find alternative stimulating behaviors).
- Dancing around and clapping excitedly.
- If you are trying to explain your child’s autism to a friend, compare it to the order in which your friend’s child prepares for school. A child’s pre-school sequence is usually: breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, getting ready for school, etc. Same routine, but sometimes the steps can be mixed up. A normal child will not see any effect if one day the sequence is reversed, such as a child getting dressed before breakfast. However, for children with autism, these changes can be severely disorienting. If your child with autism is used to a certain routine, you should try to stick to it.
Teaching your child about autism
- If your child is autistic, it’s best to talk early. It can be stressful when you feel different from everyone else but no one can explain to you why. Young children may just need to hear simple explanations like, “I have a disability called autism, which means my brain works a little differently, and I need a therapist’s help.”
- Help your child understand that being different makes them unique and special. Talk about the strengths of autism: strong logic and principles, compassion, passion, focus, loyalty, and a desire to help (social responsibility).
Advice
- Don’t be disappointed if the person you’re explaining seems to ‘don’t understand’. Stay calm, try to answer their questions and help them better understand autism.
- Suggest the person a few websites about autism. See the resources in this article for some suggestions.
Warning
- Never stop an autistic person from engaging in self-stimulating behavior.
- Use caution when referring others to autism websites. Some organizations (especially those run by parents) downplay autism and focus on tormenting instead of respect and care. You should focus on your own organization or have multiple autistic people on the board.
- Eligible sites are those that use ‘pre-identified’ language, [12] X Trusted Source Austistic Self Advocacy Network Go to source and encourage adoption and discussion of adaptation instead of treatment.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 12 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,377 times.
If you have a loved one with autism or you yourself have autism, sometimes you feel the need to explain it to people. For a satisfactory explanation, it is helpful to learn as much about autism as possible. You can then explain how autism affects a person’s social skills, understanding, and behavior.
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