How to Discover Yourself

Beyoncé once said, “Knowing yourself is the wisest thing humanity can possess. Understanding your goals, preferences, ethics, needs, standards, what you won’t tolerate, and what you don’t. willing to trade. It defines who you are.” That’s right. Also, remember that as you grow older and come into contact with different people and experiences, your personality will grow. If you have trouble understanding yourself, re-evaluate yourself to discover your true self.

Table of Contents

Take a closer look at yourself

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Determine what you like and don’t like. People usually focus most on what they like. Finding out what makes you happy and excited is important, and it’s also helpful to know what makes you sad and upset. One of the first steps in self-assessment is to sit down and make a list of all your likes and dislikes. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Your likes and dislikes often dictate how you present yourself to others. These things can separate or connect us with the people around us. Understanding them helps you to know what you want to progress in life and what to stay away from. Recognizing your likes and dislikes can help shape your career, whereabouts, interests, and type of person around you.
Use this activity to see if your likes and dislikes are too rigid. Are you restricting yourself? Is there something you would like to do or try to do that is beyond what you think is theoretically possible? Build the courage to try something completely new. You can discover a different side of yourself.

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Identify your own strengths and weaknesses . Just as your likes and dislikes give insight into who you are, understanding your strengths and weaknesses will be equally beneficial. Write a list of your strengths and weaknesses on paper.

For most people, their strengths or talents can coincide with their likes, and their weaknesses or challenges with their dislikes. Let’s say you love pies, cookies, and cakes and your forte is baking – the two are linked. On the other hand, maybe you don’t like sports and your weakness is physical coordination or endurance.
In many cases, challenges can turn out to be something you don’t like because you’re not naturally good at them. This tells you why you like or dislike something.
It is also important to understand these things. However, you can dig deeper and decide whether you’re trying to improve on anything that seems challenging, or if you want to focus your energy on the things you’re good at.

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Evaluate what makes you comfortable. We can understand ourselves in the most pleasant conditions, but also gain considerable understanding from the times when we feel bad. Think back to the last time you felt depressed or stressed. In the meantime, what comfort would you like to find? What makes you feel better?

Knowing what makes you feel good says a lot about who you are. Maybe you always need someone to lift you up or help you forget something. You can watch your favorite movie or indulge in reading a novel. Comfort can also come from food, which is common among people who put their love into eating. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal. ^{[3] X Research Resources} A great way to learn more about yourself is to become an observer of thoughts and feelings. Practice for a week or so to gain a broader view of a topic that you often think about or to determine the mood you experience. Do you have positive thoughts? Or negative thoughts? ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Reviewing your diary can reveal the lifestyle you want, but you’re not aware of. You can write over and over again about wanting to travel, someone you like, or a new hobby you want to try.
After finding a few recurring themes in your journal, spend some time considering what those thoughts and feelings mean – and whether you want to do them.

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Take a personality test. Another method to get to know yourself better is to complete an online personality assessment. Some people don’t like to be classified, while others think that categorizing themselves and their behavior brings order to their lives. If you enjoy discovering yourself by testing how you are related (or different) to others, taking an online personality test can be rewarding.

Some sites like HumanMetrics.com ask you to answer a series of questions (in English) about your interests and how you see the world or yourself. The tool then analyzes your reactions to come up with a personality type that can help you figure out what interests or industries you thrive on and how you interact with the people around you.
Remember that every free online review cannot be considered completely accurate. They just give you a general understanding of who you are. However, if you want an in-depth personality analysis, you’ll need to see a clinical psychologist.

Ask yourself important questions

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Dig deeper to know your core values. Values are basic standards that you truly hold dear, they influence your decisions, behaviors, and attitudes. These are beliefs or principles that you will stand for or fight for: family, equality, justice, peace, gratitude, trust, fairness, financial stability, integrity, etc… Without knowing your core values, you won’t be able to verify if your choices align with those values. Discover core values by: ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Think of two people you admire. What traits do you admire in them?
Think about a time when you felt really proud. What happened? Did you help someone? Did you achieve the goal? Do you fight for your rights or those of others?
Think about what interests you most in the community or the world. These may include, but are not limited to issues such as government, environment, education, feminism, crime, etc.
Think about what 3 items you would save if the house burned down (assuming everyone is safe). Why would you save those 3 items?

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Ask if you are living a proud life. As F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said: “I hope you live a life that you are proud of. If you find yourself not proud, I hope you have the strength to start it all over again. “. If you passed away today, do you think you have left what you hoped for?

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Ask yourself what you would do if money weren’t an issue. When we were children, we often had many lofty dreams. As we grow older and become more influenced by society, we change those dreams. Go back to a time when you had a lucid dream to fulfill, but it was extinguished because of the wrong time or because you didn’t have enough money. Write down how you would like to live your day without thinking about your financial situation. How will you live?

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Determine what life would be like if you weren’t afraid of failure. We often miss great opportunities or fail to seize them because we worry that we will embarrass ourselves by making a mistake. Lack of confidence can define a lifetime, if you don’t work to overcome it. Sadly, it also strongly impacts how much you say “what if” over time. Here are a few ways to overcome your fear of failure, if you think it’s holding you back from becoming the person you want to be: ^{[6] X Research Source}

Know that failure is necessary. When we make mistakes, we can evaluate our actions and improve the way we work. We grow and learn through failure.
Visualize success. One way to overcome the fear of failure is to constantly imagine yourself accomplishing your goals.
Always persevere. Keep moving towards your goals despite setbacks. Often we will achieve our wildest dreams just when we were about to give up. Don’t let small failures make you lose sight of your bigger goals.

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Ask others what they think of you as a person. Once you’ve asked a lot of other questions about yourself, meet up with a few people close to you and ask what they think of you. Their rating can be a list of personalities or an example of a specific time that, in their opinion, sums up who you are.

After you’ve asked a few relatives or friends for advice, think about their answers. How do they describe you? Are you surprised by those reviews? Are you disappointed? Do these interpretations match who you want to be or how you see yourself?
If you value other people’s opinions, you may wonder what you need to do to better harmonize their views and your own. Perhaps you have a skewed view of yourself and need to reevaluate your actions. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Consider how you connect with others

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Find out if you are an introvert or an extrovert. If you have taken an online personality assessment, one of the factors that can be assessed is whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. These are terms used by Carl Jung to describe the source of your energy in life – from the inner or outer world. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Introversion describes a person who receives energy from examining the inner world of thoughts, ideas, memories, and reactions. These people prefer solitude and may enjoy spending time with one or two like-minded people. Maybe they are brooding or reticent. Extroversion describes a person who receives energy from interacting with the outside world. They enjoy participating in a variety of activities and bonding with all types of people. They are excited to be around other people. They can act before thinking hard about the decision.
Popular explanations describe introverts as shy and apathetic, while extroverts are said to be approachable and open. These explanations are incorrect as most researchers have understood that these traits only partially represent personality diversity. No one is 100% introvert or extrovert, they just tend to favor one side or the other under certain circumstances.

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Choose what kind of friend you want to be. Exploring who you are also includes understanding your expectations, feelings, and actions regarding friendship. Think about past friendships. Do you like chatting with your friends every day or rarely talk to each other? Do you regularly organize meetings or are you just an invitee? Do you value spending time with friends? Do you share something private about yourself with your friends or are you very cautious when it comes to sharing? Do you support/encourage your friends when they are depressed? Do you drop everything when your friends need it? Do you place reasonable demands on friendship (e.g.: don’t expect your friends to be around all the time or just be friends with you)? ^{[9] X Research Source}

Once you’ve asked yourself these questions, decide whether you’re satisfied with your type of friendship. If not, talk to your best friend and see if they have tips on how you can be a better friend next time.

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Evaluate the people around. It is said that you are the “average” of the 5 people closest to you. This concept is based on the law of averages: the outcome of something will be based on the average of all possible outcomes. This rule also applies to relationships. The person you spend most of your time with will strongly influence you – whether you like it or not. Take a close look at your closest relationships, as these people will also define who you are. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Of course, you are yourself, you can decide for yourself and draw your own conclusions. However, the people around you influence your life in a subtle way. Maybe they’ll introduce you to new food, fashion, books, and music. Job offers for you. Go out late to party with friends. Cry on your shoulder after a breakup.
Do you find that some of your traits come from the people closest to you? Are you happy with the traits that you influenced by others? Simply put, if you surround yourself with positive, hopeful people, you will feel and act similarly. If you are around negative, mean people, these attitudes can make life boring. If you want to know who you are, look around for the answer.

Advice

Take a few days or weeks to fully explore each self-discovery exercise so that you can determine who you really are. Don’t do all the exercises at once.
Accept who you are, no matter what others say. Only you decide who you are!

Things you need

A notebook/diary and pen

Steps

Take a closer look at yourself

Ask yourself important questions

Consider how you connect with others

Advice

Things you need

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