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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,795 times.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations and avoid becoming a victim of helplessness. Being resilient helps you manage stress, reduces your risk of depression, and has been shown to help people live longer. You’ll feel as if you’ve had so much bad luck that it’s hard to stay strong but it won’t end here. Once you learn to take control of your life and prepare for the unexpected, you’ll be on your way to becoming a more resilient person – and living a happier, more purposeful life. You can develop resilience through healthy coping with difficult emotions and situations, taking strong action, thinking flexibly, and remaining indomitable in your actions. long time.
Steps
Coping with difficult situations
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Stress management. While it can be difficult to stay calm during difficult and anxious times, stress will interfere with your ability to remain resilient. Managing stress will help you handle problems with calmness and focus rather than burying yourself and trying to escape. You should make stress management a priority, no matter how busy you are.
- If you’re too busy and sleep deprived, you should find out if you can cut back on certain tasks.
- Pursue an activity that allows you to completely relax. You should allow yourself the space and peace to regularly relax, which in turn gives your resilience a chance to grow.
- Engage in positive activities to reduce stress and increase positive emotions. [1] X Research Source
- See stress as a challenge or an opportunity. [2] X Research Source If you are stressed, this means you are overly concerned with something you are doing. You worry about it. You should use stress as a way to inform yourself of your priorities and obligations. Change stressful thoughts from “I don’t have time” to “I know I can do it. I just need to organize my responsibilities”.
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Meditation. Meditation will help clear your mind, reduce stress, and give you a sense of readiness to face the day and any challenges ahead. Many studies have also proven that just meditating for 10 minutes a day will make you feel as rested as getting an extra hour of sleep, as well as help you relax more and be able to handle the problem. [3] X Trusted Source Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Go to Source[4] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source If you’re feeling confused or exhausted, meditation will slow you down and feel like you’re in control of the situation.
- Just find a comfortable seat and close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Relax each part of your body. Eliminate any noise or distraction.
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Yoga. A Harvard Medical School study has shown that people who practice yoga rather than other exercise are less angry and more able to cope with challenges. [5] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to the Source When you practice yoga, you’ll be taking on difficult poses and will build the strength and endurance to maintain it even when your body is trying to stop. ; This approach will develop the ability to “stick” to challenging situations and find the source to maintain calm and determination.
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Cultivate a sense of humour. You need to look on the positive side in difficult times. Humor will help you have a more objective view when in trouble. It will also improve your sense of well-being through an increase in the amount of dopamine in the brain, and may increase your overall health. [6] X Research Source
- You can watch comedies, read funny books, and spend time around people who are really funny. When times get tough, remember to balance sad movies, books, and thoughts with an element of humor to prevent yourself from sinking into despair.
- Learn to laugh at yourself. Not being too strict with yourself will help you face challenges with a smile.
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Seek help. Lack of social support can reduce resilience. [7] X Research Sources While it’s easy to overlook relationships in the hustle and bustle of life, they are very important. Good relationships are a pillar of resilience and a source of help in times of trouble. Maintain relationships with family and friends and you’ll have a reliable support system with you wherever you go. [8] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- A study of over 3,000 medical professionals with breast cancer found that those with 10 or more close friends had a four times better chance of survival than those without. [9] X Research Source
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Find a mentor. Lack of social support will reduce your resilience, finding a mentor will help you cope with a difficult life. [10] X Research Source You may feel that your life is too hopeless, and everything is collapsing at your feet, so the wiser and older you have been through these things will help you feel as though you are not alone, and that you are equipped to deal with life’s challenges.
- That person could be someone who has been successful in your field, a grandparent, an older friend, or anyone who has helped you achieve your goals and face adversity with composure.
- If you are still of school age (from elementary school to university), your school counselor or instructor will act as a helpful mentor for you and help you.
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Focus on your own health. You should talk about your problem with someone who can help you make the right decisions in seeking therapy, taking medication, and locating the support you need. Although you may face difficulties alone, you should talk to your doctor to make sure you are doing this in the best way possible.
- Seeing a doctor is not a sign of weakness; actually, you have to be very strong to admit you need help.
Action to promote resilience
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Be a doer. Laziness reduces resilience, but being proactive and direct in solving problems boosts your ability to cope with difficult situations. [11] X Research Source You must avoid thinking about negative thoughts or ideas. Instead, you should do something to improve the situation.
- For example, if no one wants to publish the novel you’ve written, this doesn’t mean you should allow other people’s thoughts to determine your worth. Be proud of yourself for a job well done, constantly looking for a place to publish, or trying something new.
- If you get fired, you have to cheer up and find another job – or even consider looking for a job that provides you with more value and makes you happier, even if you have to go down the road. new career. You probably won’t love it at all, but getting fired could be the best thing that can happen to you. You should think about the positive and come up with a solution.
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Find your purpose in life. Having goals and dreams increases resilience. [12] X Research Sources Lack of purpose and goals reduces strength and can leave you vulnerable to exploitation, manipulation, and poor life choices; which in turn, reduces your ability to take control of your life, and leads to depression and anxiety.
- Consider the goal, big or small. They will provide a sense of purpose to your life and help you focus. Make a list of everything you want to achieve in life. Keep this list in a safe place and regularly evaluate the process. [13] X Research Source
- Learn to recognize what gives you a sense of purpose in life and what reduces it. You need to live a life that aligns with your values and beliefs.
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Go towards completing the goal. If you want to be a more resilient person, you must not only set goals, but work hard to achieve them. [14] X Research Resources Making a plan to accomplish your goals – whether it’s getting an advanced degree, getting slimmer, or getting over a breakup – will help you feel oriented Clearer, more focused, and motivated.
- Make a list of all the goals you want to achieve in the next month, in 6 months, and in 1 year. [15] X Research Sources Remember to make sure they are realistic and achievable goals. An example of a possible goal would be to lose 5 kg in 3 months. An unrealistic (and unhealthy) goal would be to lose 10 kg in 1 month.
- Set up a weekly or monthly plan to get what you want. Even though you can’t predict life and can’t plan everything, setting a plan will help you feel like you have control over the situation, and will be more likely to succeed.
- Tell people about the goal you want to achieve. Just talking about it and discussing the actions you will take will help push you to get them done.
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Improve knowledge. Resilient people tend to be curious, excited about life, and want to know more. They accept what they don’t know and want to know more about the world. They are excited about other cultures and want to learn about them, they are knowledgeable and confident about their point of view while still willing to admit when they want to know more about something. The thirst for knowledge will make you more excited about life, and make you want to live in spite of all the adversities. [16] X Research Resources The more you understand, the more equipped you will feel to handle difficulties and challenges.
- Learn new languages, read books, and watch interesting movies.
- Resilient people always ask questions when they are faced with new situations. You should ask questions until you feel that you have a firm grasp on the situation rather than being immobile or unable to deal with it.
Make your thoughts more resilient
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Develop a positive attitude. Having positive thoughts will lead to positive emotions, and will increase your overall resilience. [17] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source Of course, maintaining a positive attitude isn’t easy when you’ve broken your arm in a car accident that wasn’t your fault, or when you rejected by all five people you date. This is a difficult situation – but by no means impossible. The ability to be optimistic and see failure as an isolated incident rather than as an indicator of future success is what makes you successful. You should tell yourself that a positive attitude in itself will help you seize opportunities, become creative about ways to improve your life, and overall, help you feel more fulfilled.
- Find ways to stop negative thinking in the first place. Whenever you find yourself thinking about something negative, you should try to think of three positive things to combat the negativity.
- Do you know what will help you become more positive? It is socializing with positive people. Positive attitudes, like negative ones, are contagious, so spend more time with someone who can find opportunities everywhere instead of complaining and whining, and you’ll be fine in no time. Notice the change in yourself.
- Avoid exaggerating the problem. While something bad may have happened to you, this is not the end of the world. You should think about alternative methods or more positive results.
- Focus on past success. What work have you done very well? What achievements have you achieved? Make a list of all the positive things you have done in your life. [18] X Source of Research Perhaps you will begin to see how resilient and talented you are.
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Accept change. An important aspect of becoming more resilient is learning how to cope with and accept change. [19] X Sources of Research Many studies have shown that if you view life changes as challenges rather than threats, you’ll be more willing to face them. Learning how to adapt to new situations, whether moving house or becoming a parent, is a vital skill that can help you find creative solutions to new problems and face adversity in a normal way. Quiet as well as comfortable. [20] X Research Source
- Try to think more openly. Avoid judging others’ looks, work, or beliefs. Not only will this approach help you learn something new, but absorbing a range of different perspectives will help you see the world differently when you’re in unfamiliar situations.
- One way to better accept change is to always try something new, whether it’s making new friends, taking a new painting class, or reading a new genre of book. Keeping things fresh will make you less hesitant to change.
- See change as an opportunity to grow, adapt, and transform. [21] X Research Sources Change is necessary and very good. You should tell yourself, “I accept this change. It will help me grow and become a stronger, more resilient person.”
- If you are religious, prayer or other traditional methods will help you accept change. You should trust that everything will be okay, even if the results are not exactly what you think. [22] X Research Source Ask your higher power for help in accepting change.
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Problem solving. Part of the reason people have a hard time being resilient is because they don’t know how to deal with problems. If you develop a viable approach to facing challenges, you will be able to tackle them and not feel hopeless. Here are a few helpful approaches to dealing with the problem:
- First, you need to understand the problem. You may not be satisfied with your job because it doesn’t get paid properly, but if you look deeper, you will realize that the problem is because you feel like you are not following your passion. ; this will make you aware of the new problem, rather than the difficulty you thought you were facing at first.
- Looking for more than one solution. You need to be creative and identify many different solutions; if you think there is only one solution to your problem (for example, quit your job or try to play full time in a band), you will be in trouble because your approach is not practical. , isn’t feasible, or probably won’t make you any happier in the long run. [23] X Research Source You should make a list of all the solutions and choose 2 – 3.
- Implement the solution. Evaluate it and see how successful it can be for you. Don’t hesitate to seek feedback. If that solution doesn’t work, you shouldn’t see it as a failure but as a learning experience.
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Learn from your mistakes. You should pay attention to the factor you can control – yourself. [24] X Research Source Another quality of resilient people is their ability to learn from their mistakes and see them as opportunities for growth, not failure. [25] X Research Sources Resilient people take the time to think about what isn’t working so they can avoid having the same problem in the future.
- If you find yourself feeling depressed or anxious after a rejection or setback, you should think about how it helps you grow stronger. You might think in terms of “What doesn’t destroy me will only make me stronger”.
- There’s an old saying that “A clever man learns from his mistake. A wise man knows how to avoid it”. While you can’t avoid making the first mistake, you will gain an understanding that can save you from encountering the same situation in the future.
- Look for behavioral frameworks. Maybe your last three relationships didn’t fail out of bad luck, but because you didn’t spend enough time on them, or because you’re just trying to date the same type of person and they just don’t suit you. Identify the likely pattern so that you can begin to prevent them from recurring.
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Focus on what you can control. People who can control the outcomes in their lives are more resilient in the face of difficulties. [26] X Research Sources People without resilience tend to think that failure happens because they don’t deserve it, that the world isn’t fair, and that things have always been that way.
- Instead of thinking you’re out of control, you should face your failures and tell yourself they’re due to unfortunate circumstances, not because you’re 100% at fault or because the world is a bad place. You should focus on options that don’t usually make you think this way. [27] X Research Source
- Let go of what you can’t control and try to adapt.
Maintain resilience
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Take care of yourself every day. Maybe you’ll be so busy dealing with a serious breakup, job loss, or other significant life event that you won’t have time to shower or take a nap every night. However, if you want to become stronger mentally, your body must also be able to do this. If your body is feeling panicky or just plain slimy, it will be harder for you to handle the challenge. No matter how bad you feel, you need to make an effort to shower, brush your teeth, sleep, and do your usual routine in order to be as “normal” as possible. [28] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- You should also remember to take time to relax your mind while taking care of yourself. Many studies have shown that giving your mind a break, whether through daydreaming or closing your eyes and listening to your favorite music, helps clear your stress chemicals and helps you feel less stressed. messed up. [29] X Research Sources
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Maintain self-esteem. Among many other factors, self-esteem depends on how you value yourself. You need to develop a positive outlook on yourself and on life in general to build resilience. [30] X Source of Research In the process of exercising your abilities and responsibilities, you will nurture your self-esteem, so you need to participate in life and should not shrink back and feel threatened. If you think you are useless, you will not be able to cope with the challenge.
- Elevate yourself by paying attention to your own positive qualities, while minimizing the negative. [31] X Research Sources You can start making a list of all the qualities you like about yourself.
- Finding value through making the most of one’s talents and abilities, whether in work, volunteering, business, back-office, or otherwise.
- Learn new skills and abilities as often as possible. This method will help you strengthen your self-esteem and clear your fears. For example, if you are afraid that one day your child will get hurt, you should take a first aid course to reduce feelings of fear and increase confidence in your ability to cope when something happens. arrive.
- Seminars, conferences, courses, etc. are all good ways to increase your knowledge and get to know more people who can provide you with help if needed.
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Nurture creativity. Creativity is the expression of yourself and your way of life. Creativity allows you to express things without any words or dialogue that can express or even comprehend them. Nurturing creativity will also help you become more creative when it comes to finding solutions to problems, and lets you know that you can see the world in different ways. [32] X Research Source
- You can take a photography class, write poetry, paint oil paintings, redecorate your room in a unique way, or sew your own clothes.
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Keep your body in balance. While you don’t need to have a “six pack” abs to deal with a major crisis, being physically fit will help. Since the body and mind are interconnected, if your body is healthy, you will build strength and stamina to have a stronger mind, and it will certainly benefit you. when trouble. Being fit improves self-esteem, positive thinking, and your ability to feel strong, all of which make you resilient.
- You can start with something as simple as taking a walk in the sun for 20 minutes a day; It has been proven to help people think more openly and be ready to face challenges. [33] X Research Sources
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Reconcile with the past. It is important for you to shed light on past motivations that are influencing your current approach to life. If you don’t reconcile with past obstacles, they will continue to impact and even guide your current response. You should view failures and past problems as opportunities to learn. [34] X Research Source Don’t expect this to happen overnight, but remember to fight it; and you will become a more resilient person. Journaling about what happened and the lessons you learned from it will help you accept the past. You can see a therapist, counselor, or doctor if you can’t get over the problem on your own.
- Think about the failure that has made you feel like your life is over. Look back at how you overcame them – and became stronger.
- If you feel like you can’t put an end to an event in the past, you should determine how to move on, like confronting the person or visiting a place where you used to live. You probably won’t be able to end it completely, but there are ways to change your mindset about the past so that you feel stronger when dealing with problems in the future.
Warning
- Always remember to talk to a health professional if you can’t cope with negativity and emotional instability. Mental illness and other disorders will require professional help.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
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Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficult situations and avoid becoming a victim of helplessness. Being resilient helps you manage stress, reduces your risk of depression, and has been shown to help people live longer. You’ll feel as if you’ve had so much bad luck that it’s hard to stay strong but it won’t end here. Once you learn to take control of your life and prepare for the unexpected, you’ll be on your way to becoming a more resilient person – and living a happier, more purposeful life. You can develop resilience through healthy coping with difficult emotions and situations, taking strong action, thinking flexibly, and remaining indomitable in your actions. long time.
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