How to detect cheating spouse via text

You’ve noticed that your partner has been behaving strangely lately. They seem to be more careful or hide your phone every time you enter the room. Do they have someone else and are texting that third person? It’s always best to have a frank talk with your partner, but sometimes you also need proof. Continue reading this article if you want to know how to spot your partner cheating on you through texting.

Table of Contents

Try recovering deleted messages.

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Your partner can delete suspicious messages if they are cheating on you. If you get your deleted messages back, you’ll have the proof you need. Recovering deleted messages on Android and Apple devices often requires connecting your phone to a computer to access the backup. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Messages must be backed up to cloud storage before being deleted before they can be restored.
There are also free and paid apps that can help you recover deleted messages. These apps only require you to download a piece of software to your computer and connect your phone to the computer via a USB cable.

Use a message tracking app.

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You can monitor your partner’s texts to see if they’re cheating. Message tracking apps will secretly monitor your partner’s device and pass you all their received and sent messages. You just need to download the app on the other person’s phone, enter your account information, then track their messages by logging into the app’s website on your computer. ^{[2] X Research Source}

mSpy , SpyBubble , and Spyzie are highly rated tracking apps that you can use to track your partner’s texts, calls, social media, even their location.
These messages are usually free to download, but some have additional features if you have a monthly subscription.
Note that the use of tracking software is only legal if you have the permission of the other person. In the US, by federal law, you’re not allowed to watch, read, or listen to anything on other people’s devices, unless that person’s consent. Telling the person you’re stalking about what you’re doing may seem unreasonable, but it will help you avoid liability and be honest with the other person. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Review their messages.

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Text messages from your partner can give you evidence if you can see them. When your partner is busy with something, glance at their phone to see if there are back and forth messages with new people. If they lock their phone, you can think of some excuse to use their phone and then discreetly glance at their messages. ^{[4] X Research Source} Try making excuses like:

“There is something wrong with the map on my phone. Can I borrow your phone?”
“My phone is out of battery. Can you take my phone to see the menu?”

Find encrypted messages on their phone.

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Your partner may use texting language to cover up their behavior. When you see a message with strange acronyms, think about the context of the message. Does it sound flirty? Is there a sexual implication? Look for contextual details and clues, and remember you can’t tell the whole story unless they tell you themselves. Here are some related codes that you should pay attention to: ^{[5] X Research Sources}

ASL/ASLP: Age/Sex/Location (age/gender/location) or Age/Sex/Location/Picture (age/gender/location/image). This code is often used as an introduction or a “rainy” date.
NSFS: Not Suitable for Spouse is often used to warn the sender of a message that the message they send could get the recipient in trouble with their partner.
IRL: In Real Life (in real life). This code is often used when people in a virtual relationship online want to meet in person.

Pay attention to their texting habits.

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Pay attention to the warning signs and trust your hunches. Analyze what is going on around you. Does your partner behave differently than usual? Is there a tension between the two that you are not able to identify? Believe in your intelligence. If something doesn’t seem right, think it over, don’t jump to conclusions. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Do they put your phone away when you walk into the room? This action can be a sign that they are hiding something, not simply an ugly photo. Maybe your partner has started to get into the habit of hiding his phone when you’re nearby because they’re afraid you’ll catch them talking to someone else.
Do they lock your phone while you’re around? This could be a sign that they don’t want you to see anything on their phone. Maybe they changed their password and won’t tell you, or they immediately lock the phone screen when you ask them what they’re doing.

Use fake identities to deceive them.

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You can catch your partner lying by texting your partner under a fake identity. Create a new email account, WhatsApp or social network profile. Use a fake name and profile picture to contact your partner to see if they’re flirting with you. You can detect they are cheating by pretending to be someone else. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

This tip is sometimes risky and can make things worse between you and your partner if they find out, so be careful. You should only resort to this strategy when there is no other way to get an answer.

Question them about your doubts.

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You deserve to know if your partner is cheating. Communication is essential in any relationship, and frank communication with your partner is also better. When you’re ready, ask them to schedule a time to talk. Describe how you feel and what makes you believe they are cheating. ^{[8] X Trusted Source Go Ask Alice Go to Source}

“Can we talk tonight? I have something to ask you.”
“Are you meeting or talking to someone else? You make me very sad.”
“I saw the messages on your phone. I know you’re meeting someone.”

Decide what to do if your partner has cheated.

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It must be heartbreaking to find out that you have been betrayed by your partner. You may be confused about how to continue this relationship. Take some time to reflect on what happened, and don’t forget that you can seek help. Talk to a friend, relative, and/or counselor after talking to your partner. Recovery takes time, but you won’t be alone in the healing process. ^{[9] X Research Source}

You can’t control your partner’s actions, but you can control yours. Do what you feel is right for you.
Try reaching out to love, marriage and family counseling centers if you need advice or support.

Steps