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You have probably heard many quotes related to love, but defining love is relatively difficult. Love means different things to many people and you may experience different types of love depending on the situation. If you want to define love for yourself, start by identifying the types of love, such as conjugal love and friendship, and then define what love means from your point of view. When you understand love, you will know when you are in love.
Steps
Identify types of love
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Feel the vibration of love when you meet your potential partner. This kind of love makes you feel nervous. You have a secret desire for that person and a desire to connect with them that you don’t feel in the other person. Try to notice if you feel attracted to their appearance and want to be around them. It could be a couple’s love. [1] X Research Source
- This is how you feel when you want to say “I love you/I love you”.
Warning: Couple love is easily confused with lust. If you’re attracted to their looks but don’t feel the emotional connection, this may just be lust.
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Friendship includes trust, companionship, and goodwill. You will have special feelings for your friends and that is also called love. You feel comfortable and happy when you are with your friends. In addition, you trust them enough to share secrets and you always want the best for them. These are signs that you love your friends. [2] X Research Source
- This is the kind of love that means “I love you”. You can also care deeply about someone and want the best for them but don’t have romantic feelings of love.
- You will also feel romantic love and friendship with someone. This is when you feel your lover is also your best friend.
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Friendship is the bond between family members. Families often have strong bonds that are formed based on the common feelings that each person has for each other. It is the special connection you have with your loved ones and the desire to spend time with them. You also feel a responsibility to protect or take care of them. This type of affection is called camaraderie. [3] X Research Sources
- Friendship is not only for blood relatives. Family consists of people who are always with you and have a profound influence on your life.
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Feel the comfort and joy that comes from love for your pet. Pets are also your loved ones, but the feelings you have for your pet will be slightly different. You’ll feel content and relaxed when you’re with your pet, and you won’t be alone when you always have a lovely companion! The bond between owner and pet is often strong and a joy for both. If you feel this when you’re with your little friend, it’s your love for your pet. [4] X Research Sources
- Pet affection often helps you feel more relaxed. [5] X Research Sources
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Notice how you feel about what you love. Surely every day you say things like “I like ice cream” or “I love this song”. You can always feel affection or interest in what you like and from there form love. However, this type of love is not the same as the love you have for the special people in your life. [6] X Research Sources
- This type of love is only fleeting because your preferences often change.
Define the meaning of love from your point of view
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Write down what you want from your lover. Think about your ideal relationship and the personality traits you hope your partner will have. Next, you will describe your ideal lover. Here’s how to help you understand your expectations in love to know what love means. [7] X Research Sources
- For example, you might want your partner to compliment you every day, remember important events in your life, enjoy cuddling on the sofa, and be creative.
- You may not find your ideal lover because no one is perfect. However, here’s a way to help you determine what you’re looking for.
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Identify the relationships you want to build with friends and family. Think about what makes you appreciate your family and friends, as well as your joy in being with them. The next step is to figure out what you feel is missing to determine if you want to change the relationship. Talk to family and friends about your wishes for a relationship with them so that both of you are on the same page. [8] X Research Sources
- For example, you might want to have a close relationship with a sibling so that you can both share things freely. Let me know how you feel.
- Similarly, you think that close friends should share their feelings and avoid dating each other’s exes. Try talking to your friends to see if you can both take the relationship to this height.
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Prioritize those you love to nurture relationships. Check in with loved ones every day or every week, depending on your relationship. Besides, don’t forget to regularly spend time with them and confide in them about your life. This is how you can build strong relationships with family, friends, and lovers. [9] X Research Source
- For example, get in the habit of sending text messages or memes to loved ones every day.
- Likewise, make time to meet people you love, such as going to coffee with a friend, shopping with your mom, or going to the movies with your partner.
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Find ways to show love . Sharing your feelings can help you better understand the concept of love. Find out how you feel and share it with those you care about. Here are some ways to show your affection: [10] X Research Sources
- Let your friends and family know how you feel.
- Compose a love poem for someone
- Write a song about love.
- Give small gifts to loved ones.
- Send memes to your friends to show your love for them.
- Write a love letter.
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Decide to start a romantic relationship with someone. You may think that love is just an emotion, but it’s also your choice. When you decide to love someone, you choose to stick with them for a long time. When you’re ready to fall in love, decide to take the relationship further. [11] X Research Source
- On the other hand, you can also choose not to love someone. You will do this when you realize that the relationship is not right for you or your partner is not treating you well. It will take time for your feelings to fade, but everything will be okay.
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Define your love language. Your love language is how you want to be loved and how you express love. Try to think about what makes you feel loved and how you usually show your love to someone. From there, you’ll choose one of five love languages that best suit your needs: [12] X Research Source
- Words of love – You want your lover to say words of love to you.
- Physical contact – You desire intimate gestures like cuddling, holding hands, and kissing.
- Acts of Help – You see love as helping each other.
- Gifts: You feel loved when you receive gifts from your lover.
- Shared Time – You want your lover to spend time with you.
Tip: When starting a relationship, it’s important that you both understand each other’s love language. It’s completely normal for the two of you to have different love languages, as long as you both know what each other likes.
Know when you’re in love
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You look forward to meeting that person. If you’re in love with someone, you’ll always look forward to seeing them when they’re not around. You even miss them when you haven’t seen them for a while. If you feel like you want to be with them every moment, this could be a sign you’re in love. [13] X Research Source
- For example, you might catch yourself thinking, “I miss him,” even though the person just left.
- Similarly, you might cuddle up with a pillow and imagine it’s your lover.
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You feel happier and more fulfilled in the presence of that person. When you’re in love, you’ll love being around that person. You will also feel like everything is better with them around. If you feel like everything is better when you’re with the person you love, it could be because you’re in love. [14] X Research Source
- You will feel the same way around friends or family. However, this feeling will be deeper when you are in love.
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You have strong feelings when you think about that person. A strong emotion is a desire for intimacy or a longing to be with the other person. If you want to kiss them, hold their hand, or touch them intimately, it could be a sign that you’re in love. [15] X Research Source
- Strong emotions can also be a sign of lust. To make sure it’s love, try to notice if you have other signs of love, such as feeling better around them.
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You completely trust that person. That person is someone you can lean on and feel safe around. They always listen and support when you confide something. Besides, you also believe that they are not cheating on you and that they can make the right decisions for the relationship, such as not cheating. [16] X Research Source
- You and your partner both trust each other. It means that you also make them feel trustworthy, and that you always listen and support them. Similarly, they also believe that you always make the right decisions.
- If you’re still hesitant to trust your partner, you’re probably not ready to start a relationship with them yet. You have feelings for them, but are not ready to fall in love with them wholeheartedly. This is completely normal! Listen to your intuition.
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You want a long-term relationship with them. Being ready for a long-term relationship with someone is the most important sign of love. That means you feel a deep emotional connection with them in addition to strong feelings and nostalgia. You know you’re in love when you’re ready for a real relationship with that person. [17] X Research Source
- If you feel like you want to have a long-term relationship with that person, you probably already see a future for yourself and them. In addition, you are no longer interested in giving romantic feelings to others.
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Pursue love when your feelings are reciprocated. Maybe you are in a one-sided love with someone who makes you feel hopeless and hurt. Better yet, you should choose to let go of this affection. Everyone has the right to choose their feelings, so don’t try to make someone fall in love with you. Instead, get over the person by sharing your feelings, allow yourself to grieve at the end of the relationship, and move on with your life. [18] X Research Sources
- Don’t wait for someone to change their mind and choose to love you. Remember that the person who is better for you is out there waiting for you somewhere.
- If you continue to pursue someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you will become obsessed with them. This is bad for you and your partner. Respect their choice and find another love.
Advice
- Loving someone doesn’t mean you only care about that person. Instead, you will balance your happiness with theirs so that both of you will have a better life.
- Humans have the ability to love and stop loving, so your feelings will also change. Likewise, your lover may also be the one who decides to stop dating.
Warning
- If you have been abused by your partner, you should tell it to someone you trust and decide to leave the relationship. Do not tolerate violence.
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This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 16,039 times.
You have probably heard many quotes related to love, but defining love is relatively difficult. Love means different things to many people and you may experience different types of love depending on the situation. If you want to define love for yourself, start by identifying the types of love, such as conjugal love and friendship, and then define what love means from your point of view. When you understand love, you will know when you are in love.
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