You are viewing the article How to deal with the feeling of falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,328 times.
When your love life is a one-way street, it’s possible that you fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. It’s easy to wallow in self-pity and sadness. For a better life, you need to stop self-pitying, and start practicing self-care skills. Avoid repeating the same mistake by taking concrete steps to understand what it feels like to be attracted to someone who isn’t right for you.
Steps
Situational assessment
- If your relationship can’t stand the scrutiny, you’re trying to avoid facing the truth.
- Chatting with friends can also be quite helpful in this process. Often, a friend will be able to help you identify the problem in your relationship that you are avoiding.
- Try to listen without making excuses for yourself or your loved one. It’s best to listen to them, so be quiet and listen when they speak.
- Your friends and family will be well aware when the person you love doesn’t treat you with respect.
- Sometimes being around someone will bring you joy in the present moment, but that doesn’t mean you need to live with that person for the rest of your life. Sometimes, it’s simply not the right time for a long-term relationship.
- Another sign could be that you often daydream about life without that person. In this case, maybe it’s time to make your dream come true.
- If your crush regularly breaks promises, doesn’t present his needs, leaves you alone to think about what you did wrong, this is a sign of rejection.
- You should understand that in this case, you will not be able to do anything else.
Overcoming feelings of self-pity
- When you give up, you will be able to learn from your own experience, and develop yourself.
- Make an effort to empathize with the person who has let you down. While you probably won’t fully understand other people’s decisions, you can try to accept them.
- For another, you are the perfect fit and show up at the right time.
- You will find that you can use your experience of rejection as a lesson to find the right person for you.
- If feelings of self-pity creep in, you should remind yourself of something you feel pretty good about.
- You will probably start to pity yourself when you try to end it, because the thought pattern is so ingrained in your mind. Don’t be mad at yourself; just be aware of when this situation occurs, and redirect your attention to something more positive.
- When you start to realize that self-pity isn’t the solution to the problem, you’ll be ready to try new things.
- Write without worrying about the quality of your writing style in a gratitude journal. You can write out complete sentences, or just jot down a few words, ideas, or pictures.
- When you feel overwhelmed by negative feelings, writing down a list of all the things you’re grateful for will help you redirect your attention to something more positive.
- You can read through your gratitude journal to find motivation at all times. Anyway, no matter how difficult life is right now, there are always things that you should be happy for.
Practice self-care skills
- You should also see a therapist to see if they can help you assess past relationships. Some therapists tend to focus on the present instead of digging up past problems.
- Keep in mind that this process can be quite painful and takes time to complete.
- You do not need to worry because the specialist will not share your personal information with others.
- Going to a specialist can be expensive, but insurance will cover the cost. In addition, some clinics also offer free or low-cost counseling services for low-income people.
- Practicing self-love will aid in the healing process of a broken heart, as it helps affirm your worth and self-esteem.
- If you are talking to yourself negatively, you should check in with yourself. Would you say these words to someone you love? If not, you should reconsider this.
- Chatting with trusted friends is a great way to release pent-up emotions, and will help you feel better.
- You will find that your friend has had a similar experience, and this will help if you are feeling lonely.
- Perhaps this is the right time to try something new, join a self-help group, or volunteer to help someone less fortunate than you.
- Paying attention to your own feelings will help you develop self-esteem. When you don’t respect your own feelings, you will believe everything other people say you should feel.
- You should remember the old saying, “Move a muscle, change a mind”.
- Exercise will greatly improve your life: you will sleep better, become healthier and fitter, and stress less.
- Empathizing with yourself when you make mistakes will help heal the pain of dealing with unrequited love.
- When you fall in love with the wrong person, you need to be kind to yourself.
- Consider what really makes you happy. When do you feel the most “being yourself”? Do them more. [16] X Research Source
- When you find yourself doing actions that make you feel awkward, stupid, or unimportant, you can try to minimize them in your life.
Understand your own feelings
- By taking responsibility, you will put yourself in a better position to learn from your choices.
- Even if the other person acted badly, you probably played a part in the process.
- Talking to a therapist, counselor, or friend you trust will help you sort through your choices in a new way.
- Try to learn more about the problem of cohesion to see if you can identify your own experience.
- Viewing your own behavior as a series of frameworks, rather than a moral failure, will help you build a non-judgmental outlook. [19] X Research Source
- People in a bad relationship are just as lonely as people who fear being single.
- If you fear being single, you will ignore the warning signs of a bad relationship.
- Nurturing friendships helps you feel loved and protected. Your friend should be someone who feels happy when things are going well for you.
- When you surround yourself with people who love and respect you, you will be able to love and respect yourself.
- Mistakes are just mistakes, and there are always endless opportunities to learn from them. You should take every mistake as a lesson for you.
- Without pain, you have less opportunity to grow and learn new things. Mistakes, even the most painful ones, are only part of the learning process.
Advice
- If you are not sure where to look for a counselor or therapist, you can phone 1080 for more information.
Warning
- Don’t expect others to change.
- Do not suppress your emotions. Finding ways to share how you’re feeling with others is important for your mental health.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,328 times.
When your love life is a one-way street, it’s possible that you fell in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. It’s easy to wallow in self-pity and sadness. For a better life, you need to stop self-pitying, and start practicing self-care skills. Avoid repeating the same mistake by taking concrete steps to understand what it feels like to be attracted to someone who isn’t right for you.
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