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Almost all of us have known someone who specializes in making things more stressful and uncomfortable. Trying to prove that they are tough and demanding won’t do you any good – they may not even notice the problem. No matter what the cause – they have a mental illness or other deeper problems, you can learn how to deal with people who are overpowered to help put your mind at ease.
Steps
Handling Conflicts
- Think about what you are going to say and the purpose of the conversation. Don’t react impatiently when offended by them. You don’t have to make any excuses to them.
- When talking, use the subject “I” instead of “you”. For example, don’t say, “You’re wrong.” Say something like, “I don’t think that is true.”
- Take the emotion out of the situation and deal with it soberly. The goal is not to let your emotions show when you talk to them, keep your distance, and don’t let what they say upset you.
- Direct the conversation to a more positive topic by focusing on things that are not the cause of the argument. [1] X Research Source Talk about the weather, fishing, their family – anything that can distract them from the argument and not cause more conflict.
- Remember: anything you say or do in anger can be used against you. If you find it okay to endure angry judgments for decades to come, feel free to react to them. Overwhelmed people often like you to say something bad to prove you’re a bad person. [2] X Research Source
- Don’t judge them as right or wrong, no matter how absurd they may be. Judgment will only make you feel worse.
- Overwhelmed people love to argue, so when you agree with them or what they say, you don’t give them what they want. If you get called “Bad!” for example, go ahead and admit that you behaved badly at the time. This will eliminate the hysteria. [4] X Research Sources
- Be quiet or have fun with them whenever possible. Remember, you can’t “change” crippled people. Such people cannot and will never listen to reason.
- Avoid arguing with them. Don’t meet that person alone. Always go with a third person. If your over-the-top audience objected, just ask for it.
- Overwhelmed people often have childish outbursts of anger. You shouldn’t care about them unless their anger turns dangerous and threatening to you. Try to stay away from extreme people, or at least, don’t give them a reason to be angry.
- Remember: the aggrieved person may respond to your question by trying to complicate things, such as fighting, blaming, changing the subject, or more.
- Count silently from 1 to 10 if necessary.
- If the person is still acting too much, ignore them. That person will have to stop when they see that they can’t provoke you.
- If that person shows up and whispers bad things to you in public, they think you won’t dare to react. Then say it out loud: “Do you really want to talk about that?”. This will take the person by surprise and not dare to behave badly there again.
- Always anticipate the consequences of your actions if things don’t go as planned.
- If the person keeps trying to reach you, don’t get upset. Remember what happened and create a different strategy for next time.
- They won’t be able to pick a fight with you if you can predict their next words or actions.
- Speak softly and move calmly.
- Avoid using aggressive body language, such as eye contact, aggressive gestures, pointing or facing the other person. Keep a calm face, don’t shake your head and don’t invade their personal space. [6] X Research Source
Accept the Situation
- When that person says “Everyone loves me,” they are blaming you. The way they treat others has nothing to do with this. The problem lies in the way the two of you communicate with each other. Remember: blaming each other will not change the truth.
- Never judge a person’s maturity by their age, intelligence or social status.
- Some people will react abnormally to surprise or embarrass you. Maybe it’s because the person didn’t anticipate this either. Don’t let these unexpected behaviors intimidate you. [7] X Research Sources
- Don’t let these people confuse you by acting like they’re the victims. If they truly feel guilty for what they did, respond positively but don’t let them manipulate you in this way.
- Pour it all out in your journal or join an online community if necessary.
Protect Yourself
- Understand that it’s the cripples’ problem – not yours. This can be a bit difficult because crippled people know how to blame and make you feel guilty. But if you take responsibility for your mistakes and try to improve yourself, you’re not a freak at all.
- When that person intentionally says something to hurt you, remember that they are only doing it because they want to be praised. And you don’t need their recognition.
- If their insults have no truth in them, just ignore them. You are not as bad as they would like you and others to believe.
- Don’t tell them anything personal, even if they act normal or act like friends to you. What you say or share at that time can unexpectedly harm you in your personal or professional life.
- Just as bad behavior affects us negatively, when you become a selfless, patient, and kind person, you can also change others for the better.
- Realize that you are not perfect either. You don’t have to always do the right thing, but always try. Always respect others. If you don’t get the respect of that cripple, understand that it’s their problem, not yours.
- The best thing you can do is be friendly and kind, even though the person may behave badly to attract negative attention.
- If the person is lonely but doesn’t know how to get attention, they will appreciate what you are doing and will change.
- If they are by nature mean and like to anger others, what you do will make them angry because it is impossible to anger you. In the end, they will have to leave you alone.
- Write down a few thoughts, and consider your needs and desires. Sit down with the person and talk. If they interrupt, stop them and keep talking. Let’s be honest. Provide an ultimatum if necessary, but focus on the benefits of continuing the relationship and changing bad behaviors.
- If you decide to stay in this relationship, keep it to yourself. [10] X Research Resources Find and focus on a hobby, join a support group or focus on your religion.
- Be consistent with the consequences when limits are broken. Don’t let anything go easily. If you say you will leave, then you will leave.
- Stay away from them right after the breakup. No matter how much you love them, or even if the person convinces you that they have changed, you shouldn’t go back.
- If you can’t break up with them right now, do so in your heart, then you can officially let go of that person later.
- Letting go of a relationship with a cripple can be painful at first, but after that, you’ll feel liberated once you’ve broken old habits.
Dealing With Each Personality Type
- Clings are always insecure, like to be noticed and loved because they feel weak, and always idolize strong people. [13] X Research Source
- Controlling people are usually perfectionists, they always have to be right and often blame others for their actions. [14] X Research Source
- Competitive people are aggressive and will treat every relationship, conversation, and activity as a contest to prove that they are the best. [15] X Research Source
- Passive-aggressors often indirectly show displeasure by implicitly saying what they feel. A good example is the sentence: “Don’t worry, I’m fine”, when you know all too well that if you continue, you will be in trouble.
- Avoiding clingy people will only make them try harder. However, frankly rejecting them turns them into your enemies. If you don’t show anything, they get hurt again. [16] X Research Source
- For control freaks, you can’t prove that you’re right and they’re wrong. The person has to be right, and the fact that you do a better job than them won’t stop the perfectionists from criticizing you. [17] X Research Source
- Competitive people will use the weaknesses they see in you against you, so when around them, don’t show emotion. If you resist and try to win them over, they will either abandon you or never forgive you. [18] X Research Sources
- Don’t agree with people who complain or try to appease them. Then they will get angry again for something else.
- Victims want you to feel sorry for them. Don’t sympathize and don’t let them make excuses. Be realistic and offer to help them in other ways. [19] X Research Source
- Show clingy people how to do things and let them do it on their own. Don’t let them convince you that they can’t do it because you do better. Create situations where you need help and ask for them. [20] X Research Sources
- Don’t be afraid or heed the words of those who like to control. Take note of the times when you get it right, but don’t argue with them if they don’t admit it. [21] X Research Source
- You can let the competitors win. If you’re having a discussion and they just won’t back down, accept that and ask for more time to figure things out. [22] X Research Source
- If you come across a conceited person, just listen to them. [23] X Research Sources
- Tolerate complainers, acknowledge their feelings, and always avoid them as much as possible. [24] X Research Sources
- Look closely at the “victims’ excuses for being late or making mistakes and behave like everyone else without guilt. You can give them advice, but don’t let your emotions get in the way. [25] X Research Sources
- Regardless of gender, fake people are often nicknamed “trouble queens”. You should avoid getting caught up in the troubling tragedies that these people tell. Just listen to them but keep your distance.
- Deal with passive-aggressive people by being precise about the actions and situations that are causing the problem. Then, practice solving the problem by not reacting to their hostility. Set boundaries and encourage them to say what they want and how to express it candidly. [26] X Research Sources
Advice
- If you think you’re dealing with a mean person, you should also make sure that you’re not such a freak yourself. Evaluate the opinions of others openly. Hold on to your opinion, but remember: just because it’s your opinion doesn’t mean it’s right.
- Stay calm and aware, but don’t be sarcastic when you encounter unpleasant people at work. You may lose your job or be criticized, so act professionally.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 173 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 115,351 times.
Almost all of us have known someone who specializes in making things more stressful and uncomfortable. Trying to prove that they are tough and demanding won’t do you any good – they may not even notice the problem. No matter what the cause – they have a mental illness or other deeper problems, you can learn how to deal with people who are overpowered to help put your mind at ease.
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