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This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 7,499 times.
Clashing with people who behave disrespectfully can be stressful and cause disharmony. If someone is rude to you, you’re probably wondering how to respond to them — or if it’s necessary to respond to them. Take some time to assess the situation and see if the person is intentionally disrespecting you. If you find it necessary to pay attention to their behavior, then calm yourself down first and think about how to react. You have to have empathy, but at the same time you have to stand up for yourself.
Steps
Re-evaluate the situation
- For example, if they call you by your name or purposefully push you out of the way, it’s a clear sign that they don’t respect you.
- On the other hand, if someone sends an email in the group about their upcoming study group plan without you in it, it may just be because they forgot.
- Similarly, if someone makes a nasty comment in front of you, it’s probably just that they don’t know they’re touching on a sensitive topic.
- For example, when someone says something that you think is disrespectful, you can ask back, “What do you mean by that?”
- For example, many people become irritable with their surroundings when stressed.
- If they are tired or distracted, they may also forget some etiquette such as holding doors or greeting people when entering a room.
- Empathy doesn’t mean you have to justify the rude behavior, but it will help you get to know the person better and respond appropriately.
- For example, you could say, “I’m upset with Mrs. Sa for not calling me back, but maybe it’s because my ex always lets me climb trees and ignores calls that haunt me. Maybe Sa is just busy, I’ll wait for her a little longer.”
Tip : Think about whether you are inferring or emotionally reacting to past experiences. [3] X Research Sources
Confront that person
- You can try counting to 10 or other relaxing exercises, like looking around and counting blue objects.
- For example, your lover or spouse is often rude and disregards your feelings, talk to them about it.
- On the other hand, if you are interrupted by a stranger at the checkout, you shouldn’t spend your energy and time arguing with them.
- For example, if a coworker grumpy tells you to get out of the way, you can stand aside, smile, and say, “Sorry, do you need a hand?”
Note: If their behavior is somewhat repetitive and prolonged, it’s time to choose to be more assertive.
- In serious cases, it is even more necessary to ignore them and not confront them. For example, when you are being bullied at school or at work, do not hesitate to report it to the authorities. [7] X Research Sources
- Humiliating the other party or unfairly accusing them will not make them rethink their behavior, but will cause unnecessary harm.
- Talking calmly and calmly is the best way to cool them down and put an end to the repeated rude behavior. [9] X Research Source
- Emphasize yourself so that the other person doesn’t feel accused, for example, “I get offended when you speak in that tone.”
- Try saying something like, “I find jokes like this annoying. Please stop making jokes like that in front of me.”
- Repeat what they say to make sure you understand them correctly. For example, “You said you weren’t intentionally ignoring me this morning, but were just distracted, right?”
Tip: Show that you’re actively listening by nodding your head, making eye contact, and using statements like “Yes,” “I hear you.”
- For example, you could say, “If you keep playing on your phone and ignore me when we go out, I won’t be able to spend any more time with you.”
- If the person continues to violate your boundaries, you may need to limit your time with them as much as possible or even sever the relationship.
This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Fitness Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 7,499 times.
Clashing with people who behave disrespectfully can be stressful and cause disharmony. If someone is rude to you, you’re probably wondering how to respond to them — or if it’s necessary to respond to them. Take some time to assess the situation and see if the person is intentionally disrespecting you. If you find it necessary to pay attention to their behavior, calm yourself first and think about how to react. You have to have empathy, but at the same time you have to stand up for yourself.
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