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This article was co-written by Amber Rosenberg, PCC. Amber Rosenberg is a life and career coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has over 20 years of coaching experience and has worked for corporations, technology companies and nonprofits. Amber works for the Coach Training Institute and is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
This article has been viewed 22,391 times.
Difficult people are everywhere. That person could also be you. Many people go through times where they don’t behave to their best. If you want to stay in a relationship with a difficult person, you need to develop a few coping and negotiation strategies.
Steps
Approaching Difficult People
- Ask yourself if the situation you are facing is causing you so much pain that you need to deal with it.
- Consider your relationship with that person. If the difficult person is your boss or another powerful person, you need to work on accepting something you don’t like (unless it’s abusive behavior). [2] X Research Source If the person is your friend or relative, you might think about whether ignoring the situation encourages bad behavior or simply saves you time. time and avoid creating grief for you.
- If possible, discuss the issue in a neutral setting or in a specific location where activity is taking place. For example, you can chat with the person while walking. This method will help limit negative face-to-face interactions. [4] X Research Sources
- “I know that you are frustrated by my tardiness. I will feel the same way. But unfortunately, this morning, the subway system was down and people were trapped in the station. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting!”
- Don’t say: “It’s unreasonable for you to expect that I’ll be on time when the subway system is down. If you’re really interested, you might have checked my train schedule.”
- Avoid trigger themes. [8] X Research Source For example, if you often argue about vacations with your sister-in-law, you shouldn’t discuss it! Let someone else be the mediator in leading this topic.
- Should not be conservative. [9] X Research Sources You may want to argue your point of view, but for difficult people, it’s best to ignore these arguments. Don’t waste time trying to prove you’re right. Instead, you should remain neutral in the situation.
- Accept that the person may never be the friend, colleague, or sibling you expect. [11] X Research Source
Change of Mind
- People with a “hostile” attitude tend to react violently. They love to criticize, like to argue, and have trouble accepting that they are wrong. They are often powerful people or cyber bullies.
- People who are “rejection sensitive” often seek out insults. In other words, they are easily offended. They often use written means (email, text messages) to express their displeasure.
- The “excitable” type is another. They may show anxiety and pessimism and are often critical of others.
- People who are “self-first” often put their own interests first. They don’t like compromise and are also extremely sensitive to personal insults.
- When interacting with difficult people, you may think, “I can’t stand this person anymore!”. Before you react based on this inappropriate thought, you should take a deep breath and question its validity.
- The truth is you can put up with that person. You’re not going to die or go crazy just because your mother-in-law is in a hurry to get ready for New Year’s Eve, or because your boss is yelling. You are a strong human being and you know you can endure this. Your choice lies in how you see things: whether you stay stressed until your blood pressure rises, or whether you should take a deep breath and give your mother-in-law a carrot Could she be busy with something?
- When you find yourself using words such as “must,” “can’t,” “should,” “must do,” “always,” or “never,” take a few minutes to reflect. evaluate that thought.
- What is your role when you have had a negative experience in the past? How do you act in response to that behavior? For example, your friend Lan is constantly bullying you. Do you react or not? Do you stand up for yourself?
- Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can be quite helpful. This way, when you face difficult people in the future, you’ll be better equipped to deal with them.
- Practice an attitude of acceptance by breathing deeply and looking at the person with as sympathetic eyes as possible. Say to yourself, “I realize you’re suffering. I accept that you’re worried and scared, even I don’t understand why. I accept that you’re worrying me too. settle”. [13] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- When you accept the “nature” of things, recognize and acknowledge that the person is quite difficult, you will be able to release the tension built up by resistance or a feeling of wanting to fight. [14] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Visualize reasons for showing sympathy for their behavior. [15] X Source of Research You probably won’t understand why a certain client would get mad at you for no apparent reason. Instead of being angry with yourself, you should think that the person may be suffering from severe, chronic pain that makes the person very irritable. It doesn’t matter if this excuse is true or even realistic – it will help you stay calm and unaffected by negativity. [16] X Research Source
Advice
- Never swear. Swearing only makes the other person angrier and shows that you have lost control.
- Always remember to stay calm and if you feel that you are growing angry, turn away.
This article was co-written by Amber Rosenberg, PCC. Amber Rosenberg is a life and career coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has over 20 years of coaching experience and has worked for corporations, technology companies and nonprofits. Amber works for the Coach Training Institute and is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
This article has been viewed 22,391 times.
Difficult people are everywhere. That person could also be you. Many people go through times where they don’t behave to their best. If you want to stay in a relationship with a difficult person, you need to develop a few coping and negotiation strategies.
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