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This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 23 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,458 times.
It’s easy to get emotional when you see couples giving each other cuddles if you’re single. But in return, this is also a great time to nurture family and friends relationships, pursue hobbies, strive for career goals, and get to know yourself better! If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, work on building confidence in social settings. It can be difficult at first, but just try to step out, make new friends, and let your relationships grow naturally.
Steps
Build a positive attitude
- Single life also allows you to focus on personal and career goals. How many married people wish they could freely pursue their own goals without giving in to each other.
- If you want to release your feelings, honestly confide in your loved ones. Talking about loneliness can be difficult at first, but you will find it more comforting to talk to a loved one or friend.
- Leverage technology to stay in touch with the people you love. When you can’t meet people in person, talk to them by phone, email, social media, or video chat. [3] X Trusted Sources American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Flowers and plants will bring life to the house.
- Open window blinds and replace thick, dark curtains with translucent curtains. Light that floods your home can help you feel more connected to the outside world.
- Clean up clutter. A more organized home can put you in a better mood. [5] X Research Sources
- Going for a walk in the neighborhood is also a great way to get to know where you live, and a fitness class is a great opportunity to make new friends. [7] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- For example, you might pursue a hobby of cooking, gardening, or crafting. Turn your pastimes into social activities by joining clubs or signing up for classes on your favorite topics.
- Search online for classes or related clubs, businesses or organizations to find opportunities to socialize. For example, if you’re passionate about gardening, find out if your local gardening center offers gardening classes.
- Step out and treat yourself to a movie, play or concert. These activities are not exclusive to dating couples; you can fully enjoy alone.
- Visit the place you’ve always dreamed of going. The best part is that you won’t have to give in to someone or deal with their quirks, like wanting to stop at a tourist destination that you don’t like or don’t want to fly.
- Pets can also create opportunities for you to socialize more. For example, your dog can be a great conversation starter, and you also have to be out of the house more to walk your dog.
- Feeling lonely is part of being human, and in some ways a good thing. It urges people to connect with each other, which is why loneliness is also part of the foundation of all relationships.
Build confidence in social communication
- The habit of self-reproaching too harshly often stems from a distorted way of thinking. Stop torturing yourself, stay objective, and fight distorted thoughts.
- Don’t dwell on past relationships or think of them as “failures”. Accept the fact that you cannot change the past. Stand up and seize opportunities to improve yourself to become a happier and more successful person.
- Don’t be afraid of rejection. If your potential relationship doesn’t work out, don’t think it’s your fault, or that something is wrong. Sometimes people don’t have harmony, misunderstanding or are simply unhappy. [14] X Research Source
- Challenge yourself to do new things, talk to new people, and engage in unfamiliar situations. Accept it if your co-workers ask you out after work. Start a conversation with the person standing next to you or the cashier when standing in line at the supermarket.
- You might ask, “What do you do for a living?” or “Have you seen any good movies recently?”
- If you’re at a party, you might ask, “How do you know the host?”
- While waiting for class, you can ask the friend sitting next to you, “How did you feel about the surprise test yesterday? It makes me cringe!”
- Next time you see a neighbor, introduce yourself and take a minute to chat. You can talk about things happening in the neighborhood, say their dog is cute, or compliment their garden.
- Once the two of you get to know each other better, you can invite them out for tea or coffee.
Meet new friends
- If you have religious beliefs, you might consider joining a place of worship, or joining a meditation or prayer group.
- For example, you could work at an animal shelter if you love animals, raise awareness of a disease that has affected a loved one, or promote a cause. value that you admire.
- Opportunities to interact with people online can help you develop social skills if you feel shy about socializing in real life. It’s just that you need to remember to stay safe online, and avoid sharing personal information.
- It’s better to be alone than to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love you. Love will come to you at the most unexpected times, so be patient and optimistic.
Dating
- Set realistic expectations, take it slow, and listen to your intuition. If you get along well with someone via email or text, switch to a phone conversation and plan a date. While you shouldn’t push everything, you need to cultivate a connection with someone instead of spending weeks on end just texting.
- Do not rush to assume that someone is your “other half”, or think that you have met your soulmate, especially before your first date. It’s very easy to idealize someone before we actually meet them, and you should let your feelings develop without prejudice. [23] X Research Sources
- Practice talking to people when you’re out and about, trying to talk to people you like or don’t. To start a conversation, you can mention the weather, ask for advice, or compliment them.
- You can practice thinking confidently with positive monologues. Instead of thinking, “I’m shy so I can’t ask anyone out,” tell yourself, “I’m shy sometimes, but I’ll get through it.”
- Let’s say you see someone in a coffee shop holding a book by an author you also love. You can say things like, “Oh, I’ve liked Nabokov for a long time,” or “I didn’t know people still read paper books!”
- During a conversation, you can ask questions like “How many of his books have you read? Which book do you like? Which author do you like the most?
- If you feel like you’re on the same page, continue the conversation. Take it easy and treat it as inviting a friend out. Say something like, “I have to go to work, but I would love to talk to you. Do you want me to have coffee sometime this week and continue the story?”
- Set reasonable expectations, and try not to assume someone isn’t right for you just because they’re not perfect. If you already know for sure that the other person is not right for you from the start, a coffee date won’t take up too much of your time and money.
- Avoid dating ideas like going to the movies or going to buzzing bars. In addition, this time you should be alone together, so you also need to avoid activities with a lot of friends. Plan your date with activities that balance your interests and your partner’s.
- Not every romantic relationship leads to marriage or a long-term commitment. Casual dates are fun, and it will help you better understand your partner’s needs.
- Enjoy, and don’t pressure yourself with rigid expectations. Remind yourself that love will come at the most unexpected times, and that there are many things in life that you cannot control.
Advice
- Stop following the media or paint negative images of single life. If images of couples on social media keep bothering you, cut back on your screen time. Don’t believe TV shows, movies, or other media that portray being single as the most unhappiness in the world. [29] X Research Sources
- Play with friends who love you and build self-esteem. Avoid people who are always looking to criticize you.
Warning
- If you feel depressed, lose interest in daily activities, or feel hopeless about participating in social situations, a therapist can help. Ask your GP to refer you to a mental health professional near you. [30] X Trusted Source National Institute of Mental Health Go to Source
This article was co-written by Klare Heston, LCSW. Klare Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Ohio. She received her Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.
There are 23 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,458 times.
It’s easy to get emotional when you see couples giving each other cuddles if you’re single. But in return, this is also a great time to nurture family and friends relationships, pursue hobbies, strive for career goals, and get to know yourself better! If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, work on building confidence in social settings. It can be difficult at first, but just try to step out, make new friends, and let your relationships grow naturally.
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