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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,062 times.
When children become difficult to talk to, parents and caregivers may feel stressed, and children show signs of sadness, fear, or confusion. Dealing with a stubborn child takes skill and strategy, but you can guide your child to learn better self-control, leaving both you and your child feeling calmer. Remember that the problem lies with the child’s behavior, not the child himself. Make sure that unruly children are aware that you love them and how you view them in a positive way even if they are disruptive. You should not hit or spank a child, nor should you shake or hit a young child.
Steps
Establish guidelines for dealing with disruptive behavior
- Make sure your guidelines are clear and simple. For example, with a child who has a aggression problem, the simple rule is “no fighting”.
- Stop, think, choose. Stop the child’s behavior, consider the problem you are thinking about, and consider the consequences for you and others before choosing the next course of action.
- Penalty sitting in place. Leave the room and let the child calm down for a few minutes before you return.
- Talk about your own thoughts. Tell someone you trust what you’re thinking by naming your feelings and the impact they have on you.
- Deep breath. Doing this will help if you’re getting too emotional. [2] X Research Source
- Positive reinforcement of good behavior is highly effective. Meaningful rewards don’t have to be expensive toys or trips. Spending time playing games that your child enjoys can be rewarding. A compliment from you is also a meaningful reward for the child.
- When punishment needs to be used, punish gently. For older children, cutting back on pocket money or asking for extra chores can help. For younger children, a short period of sitting still (no more than one minute per year) is more appropriate.
- For example, tell your child that instead of hitting someone, you want them to see you and let you know how angry they feel.
- Role play with your child uses a real-life situation in which the child becomes upset and behaves badly.
- Parents who don’t follow the rule consistently and quickly won’t see a change in their kids.
Handling your child’s tantrums
- A child’s tantrums stem from anything from being tired or hungry to being speechless or doing something difficult. [8] X Research Sources
- Make sure no one is hurt by the tantrum, such as another child nearby.
- Get rid of the object that angered your child and give him something easier to do. For example, if your child gets angry for not coloring a complicated picture, put the picture aside and replace it with an easier one. [15] X Research Source
- You can also talk to your child about expressing feelings verbally or releasing anger in a more positive way.
Dealing with a rebellious child who is someone else’s child
- It’s important that caregivers, including you, follow the rules with your child in a consistent manner. Find out what rules kids must follow and how their parents want you to handle them when they break the rules. [18] X Research Sources
- “Give-in” to a child’s demands, including things like eating too many sweets or not going to bed on time, can tire parents and confuse children. Children may respond positively to your consent at first, but their behavior will deteriorate quickly if you don’t set reasonable limits based on their parents’ guidance. [19] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- If possible, find out in advance what your child likes to do. Arts and crafts, favorite games or toys can be activities that appeal to children.
- Never raise your voice or hit a child. You also must not shake or hit small children.
Warning
- Never punish young children. Do not shake or hit small children. When your baby cries, it’s a sign he needs your attention, so get close and see what you can do to comfort him.
- If you’re a babysitter, don’t hit or spank your child. Ask your child’s primary caregiver (parent or guardian) if they can guide you on how to discipline them.
- There’s a lot of evidence that spanking has a negative effect and doesn’t work. Hitting or spanking a child’s bottom can cause physical and psychological harm.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 6,062 times.
When children become difficult to talk to, parents and caregivers may feel stressed, and children show signs of sadness, fear, or confusion. Dealing with a stubborn child takes skill and strategy, but you can guide your child to learn better self-control, leaving both you and your child feeling calmer. Remember that the problem lies with the child’s behavior, not the child himself. Make sure your unruly kids are aware that you love them and how you view them in a positive way even if they’re disruptive. You should not hit or spank a child, nor should you shake or hit a young child.
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