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How to Deal with a Boyfriend Who Behaves Roughly When Angry

February 4, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Deal with a Boyfriend Who Behaves Roughly When Angry  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

This article has been viewed 17,655 times.

Dealing with an angry person is no fun. It feels even worse if the person is your boyfriend, and the anger causes him to say harsh and hurtful words or actions. Whether it’s swearing, insults, or yelling, dealing with an angry boyfriend can often be extremely stressful. But either way, by being firm and calm in handling his anger, you can shape a more respectful, positive, and healthy relationship.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Calm the situation
    • Set limits
    • Control your emotions
  • Advice
  • Warning

Steps

Calm the situation

Image titled Recognize a Manipulative or Contrpling Relationship Step 7

Image titled Recognize a Manipulative or Contrpling Relationship Step 7

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Choose the right time. People often act grumpy when they are tired or frustrated, so you should avoid discussing when the other person is rushed or confused. Instead, suggest that he talk when things cool down and you’re both calm enough to deal with the issue without getting angry.

  • This tactic does not always work, as it is sometimes difficult to think calmly when angry. If this doesn’t work, there are other ways to keep your anger from growing.
Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 11

Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 11

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Let your boyfriend know that you understand his feelings. Active listening or listening and understanding is the key to effective communication. Your sympathy will be like cool water on a fire. Your boyfriend may calm down because he feels more connected to you when you understand how he feels. Be understanding and repeat what you’re hearing to appease your boyfriend.

  • Be as specific as possible, and avoid using old-fashioned phrases like “I understand.” This doesn’t show real understanding and seems superficial.
  • Instead, try saying something like, “I know you’re upset that I didn’t call you back.”
  • Continue to focus on your boyfriend’s anger. Don’t redirect the conversation towards you with statements like, “I understand because I feel the same way.”
Image titled Deal With Your Girlfriend Ignoring You Step 10

Image titled Deal With Your Girlfriend Ignoring You Step 10

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Ask him what he expects from you. Rough words and actions often stem from feelings of being treated poorly or unfairly. When you ask your boyfriend what he expects from you (in a gentle voice, of course), you will lead the conversation from angry to more positive.

  • Try expressing yourself with sentences like “What do I need you to do right now” or “What do you think I should do to solve this?”
Image titled Deal With a Cheating Spouse Step 11

Image titled Deal With a Cheating Spouse Step 11

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Offer to help if you can. When your boyfriend makes it clear that he wants something from you, determine if it’s something you can really do or you’re willing to do. By offering your help, you can calm him down, stop rough-and-tumble behavior, and turn the situation in a constructive direction.

  • Offers of help can vary greatly. Sometimes just an apology relieves stress, as it shows that you admitted some of your fault in the argument.
  • Sometimes helping is beyond your reach. For example, if your boyfriend gets fired from his job and comes back to vent his anger on you, then just say, “I know you’re mad about losing your job, and I wish I could help you, but it’s out of my control. mine.”
  • Sometimes it can be helped but you decide not to, and that’s completely acceptable. Supposing if your boyfriend wanted you to take a break from school or work to go out with him, you could say, “I’m sorry. I wish I had time to hang out with you today, but I can’t give up my duty.” You shouldn’t say “I don’t want to.”
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Image titled Act Silly with Your Boyfriend Step 13

Image titled Act Silly with Your Boyfriend Step 13

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Try to create a humorous atmosphere. Humor can help you defuse stressful situations by changing the mood for a long enough time to cool down. Remember not to joke about your boyfriend, because that will only make him angrier. Instead, you should make jokes about yourself or about the situation. This is better for couples who are often playful.

  • Everyone has a different sense of humor, but you can try making jokes with statements like “This is beyond my ability – let me consult my other personality,” or “I Sorry for forgetting to call you. At that time, I was busy struggling with my stupid head.”
  • Avoid using this method if he is making fun of you in a malicious and hurtful way, because it only backfires and can trigger more insults.

Set limits

Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 5

Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 5

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Set your limits. When drawing boundaries, you should be as forthright as possible and list what behaviors are unacceptable. Look your boyfriend in the eye and be firm but calm so he knows the boundaries you set must be respected. You can try practicing speaking first to feel more confident when it’s time to talk to him.
Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 2

Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 2

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No insults or curses will be accepted. Such words are an expression of control and humiliation, completely unacceptable in a healthy relationship. Strictly speaking, having the other person insult you about your looks, intelligence, opinions, or choices is emotional abuse. [1] X Research Source When your boyfriend calls you abusive names, stop what you’re doing, look him straight in the eye, and say emphatically, “Never call me that again.” again”. You don’t have to answer any questions or explain anything; repeat what you mean until he understands. [2] X Research Source

  • Insults not only cause painful emotional wounds but are also silently destructive in the long run, because it hurts your self-esteem and makes you dependent on your boyfriend.
  • Never blame yourself for your boyfriend’s harsh words, and don’t start to think he’s right. Let’s say your boyfriend calls you fat when you’re arguing, don’t believe it.
Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 6

Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 6

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Absolutely no swearing is allowed. Swearing during an argument is like waving a red scarf in front of a bull; it only allows negative emotions to escalate. When your boyfriend swears at you, the bad energy that comes out will make you feel embarrassed and stressed. You should use “I” statements to tell your boyfriend that you don’t mind letting him swear.

  • You could say something like, “I know you’re upset that I didn’t call you back, but I don’t accept your swearing because it makes me uncomfortable to hear those words.”
Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 10

Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 10

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Do not shout loudly. Screams only add to the tension and often make you feel angry, scared, or defensive. However, sometimes people who get angry don’t even realize they’re raising their voices. Use the subject line “I” to set limits and tell your boyfriend that you don’t accept the shouting.

  • Try saying, “I won’t let you yell at me. I get angry when you yell at me, and it doesn’t help. I’ll tell you after both you and I calm down.”
  • If your boyfriend denies that you didn’t scream, have a tape recorder ready to listen to later. When you replay the tape, gently explain that you’re not talking about what he said on the tape, you’re just playing it back to let him know how loud you were.
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Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 8

Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 8

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Don’t let your boyfriend blame you. This behavior is not beneficial because it interferes with communication and reduces problem solving. When angry, your boyfriend may blame you, tell you how bad you are, and make you feel inferior. Set boundaries and let your boyfriend know that you don’t accept the blaming behavior. You can do this with sentences that have the subject “I”.

  • Tell your boyfriend how you feel when he puts all the blame on you. For example, you could say, “I feel really upset when you blame me for everything between you and me.”
  • Next, use a sentence with the subject “I” to tell your boyfriend that you will no longer accept the blaming behavior. Say, “I don’t think blaming each other is going to solve the problem. From now on, I won’t accept you blaming me to vent.”

Control your emotions

Image titled Recognize a Manipulative or Contrpling Relationship Step 4

Image titled Recognize a Manipulative or Contrpling Relationship Step 4

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See anger in a different light. You can eliminate the electrical brain signals that cause negative emotions by looking at your boyfriend’s anger in a different light. Tell yourself, “Maybe he has a lot of bad luck today.” By deliberately looking for a different perspective, you can change your emotional response and avoid becoming negative.

  • It’s not always easy to empathize with someone who’s acting rough and hot, but by seeing their anger differently, you can keep yourself from falling into a defensive attitude.
  • Try saying things like, “He’s working hard,” or “That’s just his way of coping.” That way, you won’t feel like you’re being blamed.
  • Just because you sympathize with your boyfriend’s anger doesn’t mean you accept it. Once you understand that it’s not your fault, find healthy ways to deal with the problem, such as setting limits or temporarily avoiding it.
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Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 18

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Don’t be too hard on yourself. Often your boyfriend’s words will leave you feeling angry, frustrated, scared, or helpless. Avoid these feelings by accepting yourself and how you have chosen to deal with your boyfriend’s anger. Tell yourself that even if you can’t handle his anger, it’s okay.

  • For example, if you feel guilty about telling your boyfriend you can’t help him, say to yourself, “I wish I could help him, but I need to take care of myself. myself, even though I know he’s still angry.”
Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 5

Image titled Be a Gentle Person Step 5

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Take note of your anger level. Your boyfriend’s rude and short-tempered behavior may also make you angry. You may accidentally “provoke” or “find his hair” and this will make him even more agitated. Pay attention to your words and nonverbal language to make sure you don’t throw your anger at your boyfriend.

  • Avoid sentences that begin with the phrase “I always…” and don’t criticize or mock your boyfriend’s behavior. Such sentences are based solely on anger and only add fuel to the fire.
  • You can list your boyfriend’s triggers (or things that annoy him) and observe how your behavior affects him.
  • Don’t stoke your or your boyfriend’s anger. Don’t intentionally “poison” him.
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  • Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 9

    Image titled Catch a Cheating Boyfriend Step 9

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    Tell him about how you feel. Use “I” sentences to accept responsibility for your feelings and behaviors without making your boyfriend feel like you’re blaming him. Try to tactfully talk to your boyfriend about how you’re feeling with something like, “I’m so sad to hear your bad words.” Avoid sentences that begin with “I always…” because these sound like blame.

    • Practice saying “I” sentences over and over again when you are not angry so that such sentences come naturally and become part of your speech.
    • When you share your feelings in this way, you’ll not only be able to express your feelings, but you’ll also help increase intimacy with your boyfriend.
    • This method can help calm anger and focus on what you want instead of focusing on hurtful words.
  • Advice

    • Don’t try to reason with someone who’s raging. Instead, avoid walking away and wait until the situation calms down to set limits and solve the problem.
    • Some guys have a tendency to change their behavior in front of others so as not to come across as “rude”. If your boyfriend is one of these, talk about sensitive issues in public so he can stay calm.
    • Sometimes an objective mediator can help. Try asking a mutual friend, relative, counselor, or someone you both trust. There’s also a lot of information online on how to deal with anger gently that you can find out.

    Warning

    • Healthy relationships should be comfortable and fun; Your boyfriend should never feel embarrassed or upset about you, and you should never be afraid to express yourself. If it’s the other way around, it’s a sign of emotional abuse.
    • Do not tolerate physical or verbal abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help right away.
    • Do not let anger smolder in your heart; because at some point it will overflow. Allow your boyfriend to vent his anger in a healthy way, and remember that it’s okay to let go of disagreements.
    X

    This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    This article has been viewed 17,655 times.

    Dealing with an angry person is no fun. It feels even worse if the person is your boyfriend, and the anger causes him to say harsh and hurtful words or actions. Whether it’s swearing, insults, or yelling, dealing with an angry boyfriend can often be extremely stressful. But either way, by being firm and calm in handling his anger, you can shape a more respectful, positive, and healthy relationship.

    Thank you for reading this post How to Deal with a Boyfriend Who Behaves Roughly When Angry at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.

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