How to Deal When You’re Different

Humans are not the same. We are different in appearance, actions, abilities or even religion and self-worth. Many people can walk, hear, see, and talk easily, while others need the support of people around them to do these or other things. To cope with your differences, you can accept your unique qualities, build positive social relationships, and deal with it in a healthy way.

Table of Contents

Accept Your Unique Trait

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Accept that you are different. Accepting yourself will help you acknowledge your unique personality and learn how to deal with when you’re different from others. ^{[1] X Research Source} Instead of trying to change yourself, you must first accept who you are and how you are. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Let’s start with identifying unique qualities. Examples include: religion, culture, diet (for example, if you are a vegetarian), medical history, disability or physical characteristics. Make a list of your “different” traits and consciously accept them. Go through the list and say or think to yourself like “I accept my religion. It may be different from everyone’s religion but that doesn’t make it negative. I acknowledge my beliefs and my unique values. They are just as important and wonderful as people’s beliefs.”
If you find yourself thinking negatively “That makes me not good enough” about one of your unique traits, reflect to yourself, “No, I accept that. It’s not a bad thing. It is part of who I am.”
Distinguishing yourself from everyone else thinking you’re completely different can help protect your self-esteem in certain situations. ^{[3] X Research Source} Tell yourself “Yes, I am different. Yes, I am unique. I’m cool and awesome, no one can change that!”

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Rearrange unique characteristics. You may think your distinctive features are flaws, but the truth is not, they make you special. Try to think about what each of those distinctive features means.

For example, you have a physical disability, so how has this disability helped you develop? What have you learned and what value have you gained from it? Many people find life lessons difficult, especially appreciating and being grateful for what you have instead of focusing on things that don’t belong to you.
Avoid self-doubt. If you think “I’m not good, I’m not pretty, I’m not smart” then change them to “I’m good enough for myself. I don’t need to be the prettiest or the smartest to be happy. about myself. I am who I am and I love myself for that.” ^{[4] X Research Sources}

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Acknowledge the similarities between you and other people. Don’t define yourself completely differently from others. ^{[5] X Research Sources} This can make you feel ostracized, marginalized or rejected. Instead, see the similarities between you and other people.

For example, we are all human and have the same genetic makeup. In fact, our genes are 98% like chimpanzees, so we’re not that different from them. ^{[6] X Research Source} We are all living and breathing individuals.
If you feel really different from a particular person, identify your similarity. They can be the same people, the same interests or the same language. You will begin to notice some similarities.

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Be proud of your roots. Being different is not a bad thing – accept the unique personality that you have thanks to your upbringing, culture, family values.

Find the positive aspects of your own unique culture and focus on them. For example, cultural factors include: language, religion, tradition, dress, holidays, values, standards, gender roles, social roles, occupation, etc.
If you dress differently or follow a different religion, it means you are interesting.

Forming Positive Relationships

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Increase confidence. Positive relationships with others is an important ingredient in dealing with differences. We need to socialize and feel that we belong somewhere, in order to have a positive sense of well-being. ^{[7] X Research Sources} People draw positive and confident personalities. You need confidence to face your fears and meet new people.

Apply positive self-talk. Avoid blaming yourself or beating yourself up. ^{[8] X Research Source} For example you think “What a loser! I can’t do anything right!”
Try meditation. ^{[9] X Research Resources} Mindfulness meditation helps individuals become more non-judgmental and self-accepting. Simply pay attention to everything around you. What color or object do you see? How do you feel? What do you hear? Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings.
Everyone has something that makes them feel great and perfect. So let’s do that. Buy nice clothes, sing, dance, act – do whatever makes you happy.

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Find someone similar to you. When you feel different and socially rejected, you can find groups of people who are similar to you (culturally, ethnically, religiously, with interests, disabilities, looks, values, etc.). Everyone needs to feel part of the community, to be happy and healthy. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Join a club or class of like-minded individuals. Such as science, math, film, singing, yearbook and student management classes
Try sports at school or have fun: basketball, volleyball, rugby, soccer, track and field, cross country, water polo, tennis, dance, cheerleading.
Try Meetup.com, where you can define groups you want to join: walking, painting, playing games, climbing, etc. Make sure activities are safe, if you’re not already a member be sure to Make sure your parents and legal guardians know you’re participating.

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Be yourself. Authenticity is important when connecting positively with others. No one wants to interact or connect with someone who is just looks. Live with your special self. Avoid changing yourself (talking or acting in a certain way) to try to fit in.

Scream when you want (and don’t get in trouble) run around and compose crazy songs. Do whatever you like! Don’t change for anyone, only do it if you really want to.
If you are a quiet person, you don’t need to say much. If you’re a hippie, live like a hippie.
Create your own style. If you really like Abercrombie then wear that brand, but don’t wear it for someone else. If you like jeans and skirts, wear them.

Coping with the Difference

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Give others information about yourself. Letting others know about your culture, values, and personality can reduce stigma or negative stereotypes when you have a distinct personality. If people are informed, maybe they will think more freely and learn to accept diversity and difference in others.

Start by talking about yourself with someone you trust and can confide in.
The more often you build confidence in talking about yourself, your past, your culture, the easier it will be.

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Be assertive with bullies. Unfortunately, differences such as disability or being overweight sometimes increase social rejection or bullying. ^{[11] X Research Sources} If someone belittles or nicknames you, you can deal with this appropriately by being assertive. Assertive means being open in thought and feeling, while remaining respectful of others.

An example of assertiveness is to use the sentence pattern “I assert”. You might say, “I get angry when you say I’m weird.” Here, you focus on your own feelings instead of the behavior of others. Their behavior is second only to your feelings. Can you elaborate further after the statement above “I am different, but we are all the same. I would appreciate it if you didn’t call me weird. I respect you and I expect you to treat me equally.”
Another way to be assertive is to set boundaries. For example, you could say, “I want you to stop calling me weird. If you decide to continue acting like this, I must quarantine you. I will not tolerate being nicknamed.”
If you are being bullied verbally or physically, ask your teacher, counselor or school principal for help.

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Learn about “different” people. Search for Led Zeppelin, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King or the hippie movement, there’s a lot to learn about them. For many people, they are unique and wonderful people. They stand out from the crowd, dare to be different, and many of them risk their lives to fight for what they believe in.

Develop a role model or personal hero that you can emulate. Think about how the person would act and behave when they are in your situation.

Steps

Accept Your Unique Trait

Forming Positive Relationships

Coping with the Difference

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