How to Date Older or Younger: How much age difference is acceptable?

Does age matter in love? Or is it just numbers? When you have a crush on someone much older or younger, you’re probably wondering if you and that person can be a couple. The good news for you, this is possible – as long as both parties put in the effort to build the relationship. We’ve researched age difference relationships and answered frequently asked questions on the topic below.

Table of Contents

How much age difference is acceptable?

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A five to seven year age difference is usually acceptable. However, there is no exact answer to this question because it depends on the situation. If you’re both adults and give your consent, there’s nothing stopping you from dating someone much older or younger than you. The connection between two people is more important than age. However, love affairs with too much age difference can encounter prejudices from those around, and this can cause many difficulties for you. ^{[1] X Research Source}

So is the 10-year age gap too big? What about 15 years old? Not necessarily. If you and your crush share the same interests and goals, treat each other with kindness and respect, and enjoy being together, don’t let age stop you from enjoying happiness!

READ More: How to Dream

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The age gap is usually more tolerable if you’re both older. Relationships in which a person is too young are often opposed by those around them. One might think that the older person is taking advantage of the young person, or that the young person is dating an older person for something – usually money or status. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Can a 25 year old date an 18 year old? Legally okay, but perhaps this relationship is not very ideal. If you and your partner are at different stages of life, things can get complicated later on.
In addition, people who have not reached their mid-twenties have underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, which is the area of the brain that controls impulses and logical thinking. ^{[3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Can women date younger men? Okay! It’s common to see male couples older than women, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t “sister-to-be” relationships. You may be labeled a bad guy (“old lady” for example), but there’s nothing wrong with dating a guy who’s younger than you.

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It is unacceptable – and often illegal – to date a minor when you are an adult. Many countries have laws that protect children from sexual abuse, and dating someone under the age of 18 can have disastrous consequences. A large age gap can be harmful to the younger person in a relationship where one party is still a minor. For example, one study found that young girls who date older men are at a much higher risk of having sex than girls who date older men. This increases the risk of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

In the US, the age of consent to sex (when a person is allowed to have sex) is between 16 and 18, depending on the state. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
Each state also establishes a minimum age – between 10 and 18 – to prevent people under this age from agreeing to have sex.
Some states also set a limit on the maximum age difference allowed between two parties if one party has not reached the age of consent but has passed the minimum age. The age difference ranges from 2 to 5 years old, depending on the state.

What is considered an age difference when dating?

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The age gap of 10 years or more is considered a big difference. A couple may not get along when one is more than a decade older than the other. The two sides often have different friends, different interests, and different goals in life. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Does dating with a big age difference cause problems?

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The age gap can cause problems, but it’s not certain. It will be difficult for a couple to build a harmonious relationship if they are in different stages of life. Perhaps you have little in common with someone much younger or older than you. A study published in the Journal of Population Economics found that the larger the age gap, the less satisfied couples are. ^{[7] X Source of Research} However, if you are happy with your partner and are determined to develop a relationship, you can still have a good and lasting relationship with someone with an age difference.

For example, let’s say you are 20 years old and your lover is 35 years old. Perhaps you’re in college and enjoy an active social life. Your lover may have settled down in his career and is not interested in partying on the weekends. When each party has different priorities, the two can gradually drift apart.
In addition, you may be shaken if your love is not supported by the people around you such as friends, family and community, and as such, your relationship will not be successful. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

What is rule number 7?

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Here’s the rule about dating someone half your age plus 7 years or older. That means, if you’re 36, you can date someone 25 or older. If you’re 42, you can date someone 28 or older.

This dating rule is not based on science and is said to have been published in a book first published in 1901. Don’t take this advice too seriously – the book’s author also advises men not to marry older women, taller or richer than me. Remember how much society has changed since the early 20th century, so this dating rule is probably irrelevant. ^{[9] X Research Source}

How to have a healthy relationship when the two sides have a big age gap?

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Be kind and respectful to each other. For a relationship to last, both parties need to be willing to nurture it. Respect each other’s perspectives and boundaries, be honest with each other, and value each other for who they are. Don’t try to change your partner and be ready to compromise. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Share and support. Make your partner feel heard and understood. Show that person you care about them, respect their feelings, and value them for who they are. Really listen when your partner talks, congratulate them on their successes, and share when they have a hard time. ^{[11] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

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Resolve issues in good faith. Every couple faces problems from time to time – what matters is how they handle them. When things start to get tense, take a break. Regain your composure so you don’t say something you’ll regret later. When you’re ready to discuss the issue (this is essential – don’t ignore it as nothing), use a first person subject sentence to express how you feel instead of blaming the other person. Focus on the problem at hand, not on the past, and work together to find a solution or agreement that both of you are satisfied with. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Steps

How much age difference is acceptable?

What is considered an age difference when dating?

Does dating with a big age difference cause problems?

What is rule number 7?

How to have a healthy relationship when the two sides have a big age gap?

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