How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Go Out with Friends

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Whether you want to go to the mall with friends at noon or attend an upcoming event, you need to ask your parents for permission first. Especially if your parents were quite conservative, you need to have a strategy in place. Do your research, and be prepared to respectfully negotiate with your parents to get what you want.

Table of Contents

Set up a time to chat with your parents

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Ask when your parents have time to talk. You need to pay attention to the timing of the conversation if you want to make sure that your parents will allow you to hang out with your friends. Identify a time when they have a few minutes to spare to sit down and talk about your plans. You need to find a time that fits their schedule, not yours.

If your family often eats dinner together, this would be a good time to ask questions. Or if your family likes to chill out on Sunday afternoons, this is also the perfect time to chat. ^{[1] X Research Source}
Plan your big event accordingly. If you want to ask permission to go to a concert that will take place in a few weeks, don’t wait until the last minute. Parents appreciate preparation, especially when it comes to money and transportation.
A last-minute plan won’t be accepted by your parents, but sometimes, you might be allowed to go over to a friend’s house if you suddenly bring it up. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Make sure they are in a good mood as you proceed to discuss the plan. Your parents will easily refuse regardless of the situation when they are stressed or tired. You should wait until the storm has passed and then ask if you can go out with your friends.

Remember that you are not in trouble or detained before asking permission.
You need to try to get out of detention before hoping they’ll let you do anything else.
The right time to ask for permission would be when you’ve just finished your homework and errands for the week. Or to make the offer look more appealing, you can do all the work after you’ve done the after-dinner cleanup.

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Please be patient while waiting to talk to parents. Constantly pestering them will make your offer easily rejected. Angry parents won’t give consent, and you’ll get in trouble if you push them too hard. You should give them a few days to think about your question.

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Coordinate with family schedules. Whatever your plan is, it’s best to try and plan everything around your family’s day-to-day life. Avoid asking to talk to your parents about serious plans on a busy day with errands. Instead, wait until everyone is home and enjoying the evening so they have time to discuss your plans.

For example, if your mother is going to have to take your sister to soccer practice, you can ask her to take you to the nearby shopping center right after, since it’s on the same route.
Coordinate your plan with your parents’ plan. Try not to ask for a hitchhiking too often and instead think about how you can incorporate your trips around the city.
Avoid asking to be excused from family events to hang out with friends. Adding an extra burden on your parents will make them reluctant to agree in the future.

Negotiate with parents

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Get ready to argue. Have all the details ready when your parents have time to talk. The more information you provide, the better the argument will be. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Let your parents know where you’re going, who you’re going with, how long you’ll be out, and what you’re going to do.
Be completely honest with them throughout the process. If you are caught lying, you will make your parents distrust you.
You need to provide as much detail as possible. Find out in advance whether you need transportation, spend money, or make an appointment if you want to attend a scheduled event. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
Start with small things and work your way up to bigger problems. Before you can get permission to go on a weeklong trip, you should first try to get permission from your parents to let you spend the night at a friend’s house. They’ll find that you can deal with little problems and then trust you more when you hang out for a longer period of time.

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Explain why you want to go. Not wanting to miss out on the epic camping of the year or the shocking discounts at the mall is obvious to you. But your parents won’t understand why it’s such a big deal, so you need to be clear when asking for their permission. Explain why this is an opportunity to get you excited. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If the trip is beneficial in your studies, be sure to mention this as your parents will want you to succeed in school.

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Tell your parents what they want to hear. They care about you, your safety, and want the best for you. You should reassure them that the place you are going is safe and that you are not stupid enough to engage in dangerous or illegal activity. Promise them you’ll take your phone charger with you and periodically contact them when you’re out and about.

Inform them of any accompanying adults so they know you will be taken care of.
Even if they already trust you, telling them you’re trustworthy will give them some peace of mind.

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Stay calm when discussing plans. Being emotional and raising your voice will show them that you’re still too young to be allowed to hang out. You can express your excitement, but don’t turn that excitement into rage when things don’t go your way. You still have a chance to convince your parents, so don’t ruin it by losing your cool. ^{[6] X Research Source}

Even if it looks as if your parents will say no, you should do your best not to scream, scream, or cry in frustration.
Avoid threats or demands. You won’t be able to convince your parents by threatening that you won’t do your job if you don’t go out. You will only get in more trouble.

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Give them time to think things over. After you’ve presented your plan to your parents, give them some thought. For example, you could say, “Thank you for listening to me. If you want time to think about the decision, I understand that too.” It will show your parents that you are becoming patient and mature, even if you just want to spend time playing video games at a friend’s house. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Only involve your siblings when necessary. You can say that you will bring your sister or brother if your parents are still hesitant about allowing you to go out. Sometimes, dragging siblings along will convince your parents that they will always behave properly.

Your siblings tend to report everything to their parents. This will help you when negotiating because your parents will feel more secure if you go with your brother or sister.
However, you should remember to behave appropriately when they are with you as they may still report it to your parents. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Accept defeat to win in the future. Even if your parents refuse, you can still benefit from this. Thank them for talking to you and don’t get angry or yell at them. If you show your maturity and understanding even when they say no, the next time you ask for something, they will be impressed by your behavior and will agree.

End of deal

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Complete all tasks and homework in advance. Make an effort to clean the room and complete any class projects before proceeding with parental permission. Don’t give them any reason to doubt you, just do whatever it takes to impress them with your masterful time management skills.

If you don’t have time before asking permission, you should promise that you will complete all responsibilities before going out. ^{[9] X Research Source}

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Allow parents to chat with friends or chaperones. It’s likely that your parents want to know if there are any adults with you when you go out with your friends. You should give them the opportunity to call and talk to other parents. Let your parents know you will have a supervisor to convince them to let you hang out. ^{[10] X Research Source}

If you are not accompanied by an adult, do not lie to your parents. They will eventually discover the lie.

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Give your parents an opportunity to meet your friends. If they’ve never met the person you’re going out with, they’ll become wary. You should invite your friends to your home first so that they get to know your parents. This way, when you ask permission to hang out, they know and trust the person you’re with.

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Pity your parents. A few flattery but still saving face will pay off. While waiting for your parents’ permission, it’s a good idea to let them know how much you appreciate it by writing a small note or simply telling them. Maintaining good manners will help, but it won’t hurt if you take some action, like bringing home flowers for your mother or giving the last piece of cake to your father. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Be subtle and not too obvious. Parents will realize the lie you tell them just to give you something.
Don’t go too far. You can flatter your parents, but don’t go so far that they think you’re faking it.

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Suggest doing some extra chores around the house. Do a few extra chores outside of what you have to do. Wash your parents’ car, mow the lawn before they ask, or help them prepare dinner for a few nights to please them. Doing their job for them will help them relax more and their mood will be better so you can ask questions and be allowed to hang out. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Warning

During the process of persuading your parents, you need to be absolutely honest during this time as well as when going out.
Distrust is the fastest way to get you suspended and ruin all your future plans.

Steps

Set up a time to chat with your parents

Negotiate with parents

End of deal

Warning

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