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This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
This article has been viewed 13,868 times.
Getting an ex-girlfriend is harder than chasing the girl you just met, but if you really want to get back together, there are a few things you can do to give yourself a chance. To win her over, you have to make her want to come back to you, show your change, and take the initiative to move on.
Steps
Make her want to come back to you
- Don’t take the initiative to call or chat with her when you meet or email her to check on her.
- If you happen to run into her, be polite and greet her with a smile, but make it clear that you won’t bother her.
- However, don’t give her too much personal space. If you are away from her for too long, this will give her time to get to know other people.
- Write down mistakes. Think about what you can do to change those behaviors.
- Don’t date anyone during the contemplation phase. Focus on improving yourself and try not to repeat previous mistakes.
- Don’t pursue her until you realize your mistake and know how to fix it.
- Continue pursuing your interests and passions. Don’t put off the things you love just because of a broken heart.
- Spend time with friends. They will encourage and share with you a different perspective on the problem you are facing.
- Do exercise. Your self-esteem will improve after a few weeks of exercise, and things will get better when she knows you’re training yourself.
- Laghing out loud. When you know she’s looking at you, you will try to smile freely with your friends in a natural way.
- Become lively. When she’s around, you should show enthusiasm and interest in the conversation, letting her see that you’re a passionate person who enjoys chatting with friends.
- Don’t ignore her when you see her. You’ll wave goodbye and return to your conversation.
- Dancing. That’s right. Maybe this will make her a little sad that she can’t dance with you like she used to. Let her see you drunkenly dancing in the crowd.
- Show her your best side. There must be something about her liking you; so you should take advantage of it.
- While chatting, you will mention other girls. You can talk about a girl a few times so that she has to wonder “Who is that girl?”. Or you talk about a group of girls, mentioning that you went to a party that had a lot of female guests, but you also just felt normal.
- Let her see you around other girls. You’ll say a few words to her before moving on to flirting with another girl nearby. Make sure you don’t stand too far away so she can see everything clearly.
- Don’t overdo it. If she hears you talking about other girls and flirting with others, she’ll probably want to get back with you more, but if you’re infatuated with every girl at parties, it sounds like you’re desperate or indecisive.
Show her your change
- Keep distance. You still notice her, but try to look busy or distracted and look like you’re not giving her all of your attention. This will make her wonder and want to come back to you more.
- Limit compliments. If you used to compliment her all the time when you were together, you should limit your compliments to show that you no longer care too much about her.
- Let her come to you. Maybe she’s used to you taking the initiative to approach, cuddle, and talk, but it’s time to do the opposite. When you’re at the party, you should let her approach instead of stopping everything you’re doing to get to her.
- Let her know you have free time and can meet her anytime. She will no longer have to take advantage of your free hour.
- Don’t make her jealous. In this case, you should stay away from other girls to prove that you only have her in your eyes.
- Take time to listen. If she previously thought you weren’t interested in her feelings, you’ll keep eye contact and don’t interrupt while she’s talking. You can mention something she said in a previous conversation to show that you really care about what she has to say.
- Praise her. If you haven’t complimented her before, complimenting her now is a way to let her know you’ve changed.
- Say sorry when you two meet. Texting or emailing won’t work; You should meet in person or she will think that you are not really serious when you say sorry and she will not take it seriously. Gather up the courage to go to her and say sorry for your mistake.
- Show sincerity. You will look her in the eye as you speak and speak in a calm voice. She won’t believe you if the apology seems reluctant.
- Specific presentation. Don’t just say “I’m sorry for everything”. Instead, say, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you spoke. I should have cared more about you.” She’ll appreciate it, and it also shows that you have a sense of self.
- Don’t be disappointed when she doesn’t accept your apology right away. Maybe she’s still trying to get over the past, but she still appreciates your efforts. Just say “I’ll give you a chance to correct it” instead of trying to analyze it to get her to accept your apology.
- Don’t be too emotional. Be calm and composed to impress her.
- Become confident. Show her that you are satisfied with who you are and what you do; She will also gladly receive you.
- Responsibility. Let her know that you can manage your finances well, maintain a stable job and still be able to take good care of your pet.
- Do not be jealous. You shouldn’t ask about the guy she’s been chatting with lately; this only encourages her to talk to him more and makes you look insecure because you care.
Actively move forward
- Confess to her at the right time and place. Choose a time when she’s not too busy and you’re not disturbed, ideally in the evening or in a relatively quiet location.
- Look her in the eye as you speak. Don’t look around and don’t check your phone.
- Don’t act like a cold guy. This is the time to open up and share your feelings honestly.
- First, admit the mistake and say the word one more time. Then let her know how you’ve changed and how you want to get back together.
- You will say, “I can’t believe I was so stupid. You’re the best thing I’ve ever had, but I don’t know how to keep it. Let me make up for my mistakes.”
- Do not speak in a begging and begging tone; Instead, you will speak in an affirmative voice. Let her know you intend to come back because maybe you will get the results you want.
- Sentimentally aroused. Give her flowers and take her to a romantic restaurant. However, you still shouldn’t overdo it lest she feel uncomfortable. Just a little extra romance that wasn’t there before.
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- Praise her. Tell her she looks great when you pick her up and continue to compliment her on the date.
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- Tell her how much you missed her. Take a moment or two during the date to tell her that you’re glad she’s in your life.
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- Always be yourself. You can be a good listener, caring, or understanding, but most importantly, you should still be yourself. Don’t try to show that you have changed and become a completely different person.
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- Remind yourself of what happened in the past and resolve not to repeat it.
- See this as a fresh start. You don’t need to fix the old relationship, but try to build something completely new and better.
- Relax. Enjoy spending time with her instead of always worrying about not ruining everything.
Advice
- Make sure you stay calm when you talk to her. Stuttering will make her think you’re not confident and will interfere with your start.
- When you raise the issue of wanting to get back with her in front of your friends, she may think you’re brave and agree. However, you should also be careful because this can make things worse and she will feel embarrassed.
Warning
- Be careful with your words and actions. If you behave in a childish or rude way, the more she will believe that breaking up is the right decision. Show her that you are mature and polite. She will probably rethink and give you a chance.
- She may not like dating. Some girls think that once they break up, they no longer want to get back with their ex. If she doesn’t want to come back, you should accept that. Maybe she needs time.
This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
This article has been viewed 13,868 times.
Getting an ex-girlfriend is harder than chasing the girl you just met, but if you really want to get back together, there are a few things you can do to give yourself a chance. To win her over, you have to make her want to come back to you, show your change, and take the initiative to move on.
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