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This article was co-written by Kim Chronister, PsyD. Kim Chronister is a licensed clinical psychologist. She specializes in helping clients deal with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister contributes to and appears on television channels such as Access HPlywood, Investigation Discovery and NBC News. She is the author of two books “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality”. She holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology and a doctorate in psychology from Alliant International University.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,364 times.
Knowing how to give tactful advice is an important communication skill that you need in your life. Besides, knowing how to receive compliments is equally important. However, some people refuse to accept the compliment. They will feel uncomfortable or withdraw or misunderstand the compliment. They behave this way for a reason, and digging deeper will help the person you care about learn to accept compliments.
Steps
Praise effectively
- “I’ve never seen such blue eyes before.”
- “The piano piece you just played makes me feel so light and peaceful.”
- “Seeing your smile makes me so happy!”
- “I could not have completed this project without you. You have helped me a lot and I really appreciate it.” [1] X Research Source
- Think about why you’re giving the compliment. Compliments should make the other person feel comfortable and valued, not for personal gain.
- “I liked the way you answered questions during today’s presentation. He helped the team find solutions that benefit everyone.” [3] X Research Sources
- “The color of your shirt is very beautiful. It’s the same color as your eyes.”
- Ask for recipes if you like what she cooks or ask for directions. She will feel appreciated. [4] X Research Sources
- Mention someone saying nice things about her or talking about how much other people care about her. [5] X Research Sources
- Do charity work together so she knows she is someone who can help others. [6] X Research Sources
- Even if the person doesn’t accept your compliment, you’ve activated their striatum, encouraging them to perform better. [7] X Research Sources
- Advice can also boost other people’s self-esteem. Even so, the person doesn’t have to consciously “accept” the compliment to be affected. [8] X Research Sources
Help someone receive a compliment
- Avoid gossiping and saying negative things about yourself and others. [9] X Sources of Research When you put yourself down without other people or friends, it also has a negative effect.
- This is extremely important for children and adolescents as they will learn it from the adults around them. [10] X Research Source
- Let the person know that you won’t say something you don’t believe and that it hurts your feelings when they reject or don’t believe how you feel for them. [13] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source
Find the cause of the problem
- People with low self-esteem may not like compliments because it contradicts their negative view of themselves and they can’t believe it. [14] X Research Source
- The person will think the compliment means you have huge expectations that they can’t meet and they don’t want to let you down. [15] X Research Source
- Some cultures don’t like compliments because they feel pampered and you’re treating them like a child. [16] X Research Source
- In addition, accepting advice in some cultures is beyond that of others, which is difficult to accept. [17] X Research Source
- Women often refuse compliments because they have been taught to be humble, unlike men. [18] X Research Sources
- Women are also taught not to compare to make others feel bad so they will decline compliments so as not to hurt other people’s feelings. [19] X Research Source
Advice
- You should accept or ignore if someone refuses to accept the compliment.
Warning
- The other person’s refusal to accept the compliment has nothing to do with the person giving the compliment. If you are always tactful, remember that this is not your fault but the person’s.
This article was co-written by Kim Chronister, PsyD. Kim Chronister is a licensed clinical psychologist. She specializes in helping clients deal with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister contributes to and appears on television channels such as Access HPlywood, Investigation Discovery and NBC News. She is the author of two books “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality”. She holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology and a doctorate in psychology from Alliant International University.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,364 times.
Knowing how to give tactful advice is an important communication skill that you need in your life. Besides, knowing how to receive compliments is equally important. However, some people refuse to accept the compliment. They will feel uncomfortable or withdraw or misunderstand the compliment. They behave this way for a reason, and digging deeper will help the person you care about learn how to accept compliments.
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