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This article was co-written by Tracy Carver, PhD. Tracy Carver is an award-winning psychologist living in Austin, Texas. Carver specializes in counseling on issues related to self-esteem, anxiety and depression. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, a master’s degree in educational psychology, and a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Texas at Austin. Carver also completed an internship in clinical psychology at Harvard University School of Medicine. She was named one of the best mental health professionals in Austin by Austin Fit Magazine for four years in a row. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights and KVUE (ABC News’ Austin affiliate).
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 68,251 times.
Comforting someone who is upset can make you feel helpless. In most situations, there’s nothing you can do physically to help the person. However, simply being present and willing to listen is the most important measure you can take.
Steps
Know what to say
- For example, if you know the person, you could say, “I see you’re having a hard time. Would you like to share it with me?”.
- If you don’t know the person well, you can say, “Hi, my name is Chau. I’m also a student at the school, and I see you crying. I know I’m just a stranger, but what if you want, I’m willing to listen to the problem that’s bothering you.”
- For example, you could say something like, “I heard your father just died. You must be heartbroken. Would you like to talk about this?”.
- For example, if the person’s father or mother has just passed away after a long battle with illness, of course, they will feel sad. But they may also feel relief because the illness is finally over and at the same time they feel guilty that they had this feeling.
- For example, don’t say something like, “Well, at least you’re alive,” “Not everything is so bad,” or “Cheer up!”.
- Instead, if you need to say something, use a statement such as “You can totally feel sad; you’re going through a tough time.”
Learn to listen attentively
- You can offer them solutions as the conversation nears its end, but in the beginning, you should just focus on listening to them. [7] X Research Sources
- Part of the process of staying focused is that you shouldn’t daydream either. Also, don’t just sit there and try to think about the next thing you need to say. Be really attentive to what the other person is sharing.
- At the same time, you should also maintain open body language. This means don’t cross your arms and legs and face the person. [11] X Research Source
finished the conversation
- For example, you could say, “I’m so sorry you’re having this problem. I don’t know what to say to make you feel better, and I know that no words can help you. But I want you to know that I’ll be there when you need me.”
- For example, you could say “Can I give you a hug or not?”.
- Of course, discrimination in treatment with counselors is irrational. You may even have to convince your friend that it’s completely normal to see a counselor. You can deal with stigma by letting the person know that you won’t change your view of them even if they need help.
- If the person seems hesitant about asking for your help, you can offer specific suggestions. For example, you could say, “I’d love to help. For example, I can drive you somewhere if you need to, or I can bring food to your house. You can just tell me you are. need”.
Warning
- Don’t force people to talk if they don’t want to. They need to be ready to open up to others first.
This article was co-written by Tracy Carver, PhD. Tracy Carver is an award-winning psychologist living in Austin, Texas. Carver specializes in counseling on issues related to self-esteem, anxiety and depression. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, a master’s degree in educational psychology, and a doctorate in counseling psychology from the University of Texas at Austin. Carver also completed an internship in clinical psychology at Harvard University School of Medicine. She was named one of the best mental health professionals in Austin by Austin Fit Magazine for four years in a row. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights and KVUE (ABC News’ Austin affiliate).
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 68,251 times.
Comforting someone who is upset can make you feel helpless. In most situations, there’s nothing you can do physically to help the person. However, simply being present and willing to listen is the most important measure you can take.
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