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It is a fundamental human need to seek comfort and support from others during difficult times. Whether someone is going through a loss, experiencing a challenging situation, or feeling overwhelmed, providing comfort is an invaluable gesture that can make a significant difference in their well-being. Knowing how to effectively comfort others involves a combination of empathy, active listening, and thoughtful actions. In this guide, we will explore various strategies and techniques on how to comfort others, enabling you to offer solace and support to those who may be in need. By developing these skills, you will not only strengthen your relationships, but also contribute to creating a more compassionate and caring community.
This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli currently practices privately and specializes in personal relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, communication skills, parenting and so on. Kelli also organizes events. group therapy for people with alcohol and drug addiction, as well as groups on anger management. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is a host for LA Talk Radio, a relationship consultant for The Examiner, and speaks worldwide. You can view her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy and website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania and her bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 31,335 times.
When a friend is having a hard time, it’s extremely important that you be there without making them more upset. This article will show you how to care, listen, keep your partner busy and distracted to get over the unpleasant things.
Steps
Show interest
- After a while, gently talk to them. You don’t have to say something like, “I’m so sorry about what happened, I’m really shocked,” but simply say, “I’m really sorry and worried about you.” [1] X Research Source
- Don’t put pressure. You just need to let them know that you are always willing to listen and share when they need it.
- Before trying to talk or find out about your friend’s problem, give them a card, a bouquet of flowers, or other small gifts, such as a pack of beer or a record of music, to replace the lyrics. want to say that you are willing to listen and share their sadness.
- You can also start by handing your friend a soft drink, a handkerchief, or finding a comfortable place to sit down to boost their spirits.
- Send a text if they don’t answer the phone. It’s easier to respond to messages succinctly without having to pretend to be okay.
- Even if it’s not a serious problem, like your friend is just sad because of a broken knee, or their favorite football team loses, they will still tend to isolate themselves and ignore those around them. Take care of them even in times like these.
- A small gesture of comfort can be more powerful than a thousand words of comfort. Pat your friend on the back, give your friend a gentle hug, or hold their hand tightly.
Listen
- No coercion. Sometimes, just sitting next to it and being silent is also a way to create an opportunity for others to pour their hearts out. If they don’t want to talk, don’t force them.
- If your friend doesn’t want to confide, bring it up again after a few days by inviting them out to lunch and asking, “How are you doing?” Maybe now they will be more willing to share.
- Make eye contact. Look at your friend with sympathetic eyes, put away your phone, turn off the TV and don’t mind anything else in the room, just look and listen to them.
- While listening, nod your head to show that you are listening very attentively, and combine the use of gestures, such as sighing when listening to sad passages, smiling at happy passages and, importantly, listening. listen.
- You can also use this approach when you feel like you don’t understand exactly what your friend is saying. For example, you could say, “So you’re mad at your sister because she took your astronomy book without asking, right?”.
- Avoid taking their problem lightly when you feel it’s no big deal. Maybe they’re sadder than you think.
- Don’t pretend you understand what they’re going through when you’ve never been in a similar situation yourself.
- This is especially true when the person makes mistakes. You don’t have to stress that your friend wouldn’t have to be upset about failing the exam if she studied hard instead of playing video games all day.
- If you want advice, stop for a moment and ask your friend, “Do you need some advice or do you just want me to listen?” and respect their wishes.
- Talk about what you plan to do after the conversation. Slowly move the conversation to another topic. For example, if you’re sitting outside of class and listening to your friend talk about a breakup, you might say, “So, are you hungry? What do you want for lunch?”
- Gradually every story will come to an end, don’t let your friend talk about the same problem over and over if it doesn’t help. Encourage them to talk and focus their energy on other things.
Keep them busy
- If you are sitting somewhere, you can get up and go for a walk. Take a few laps around the mall, browse while walking, or walk around the neighborhood for a change of pace.
- Do something fun together, but don’t let go. Grief is not a reason for us to abuse drugs, tobacco or alcohol. You need to be rational when it comes to helping your friend feel better.
- Do some gentle exercise, such as stretching exercises or yoga.
- If you want more fun, you can choose to play some sport in the yard, bike or go for a walk.
- If your friend is very angry or depressed, find a way to get active, such as going to the gym and lifting weights, to let those negative emotions out.
- Watch a funny movie or play to distract them from their negative thoughts [5] X Research Source
- You can cook for your friend once in a while when they’re down. Cook a pot of soup and share it with them, so at least they won’t have to worry about what to eat today. [6] X Research Sources
- Sometimes burying their head in work is a good way, familiar things can make them forget their troubles. The final decision is up to them, but let your friend know that at least they still have a choice.
Advice
- If they are contemplating suicide or hurting themselves, encourage them to seek help from suicide hotlines. [7] X Research Sources
This article was co-written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a psychotherapist, author, and TV/radio presenter based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli currently practices privately and specializes in personal relationships, love marriage, depression, anxiety, gender, communication skills, parenting and so on. Kelli also organizes events. group therapy for people with alcohol and drug addiction, as well as groups on anger management. As an author, she received the Next Generation Indie Book Award for “Living with ADHD: A True Book for Children” and she is also the author of “Profess Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” “. Kelli is a host for LA Talk Radio, a relationship consultant for The Examiner, and speaks worldwide. You can view her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy and website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her Master of Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania and her bachelor’s degree in sociology/health from the University of Florida.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 31,335 times.
When a friend is having a hard time, it’s extremely important that you be there without making them more upset. This article will show you how to care, listen, keep your partner busy and distracted to get over the unpleasant things.
In conclusion, comforting others is a powerful and essential act of humanity. It allows us to demonstrate compassion, empathy, and support for those who are going through difficult times. By understanding the importance of active listening, providing emotional support, and offering practical help, we can effectively comfort and uplift those in need. Additionally, being aware of the impact our words and actions can have is crucial in order to provide comfort without unintentionally causing harm. Ultimately, by practicing these strategies and approaches, we can create a supportive and empathetic community that helps individuals navigate and heal from various challenges life presents. Comforting others not only benefits those who receive it, but it also enhances our own emotional well-being and cultivates stronger relationships. Let us strive to be sources of comfort and solace for one another, promoting a kinder and more compassionate world.
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