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This article was co-written by Lynda Jean. Lynda Jean is an image consultant and owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and shape/style analysis, apparel evaluation, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their self-image, self-esteem, behavior and communication in order to achieve their social and professional goals. Lynda holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology and social work, a master’s degree in clinical social work, and a certification in consultant imaging (CIC). She studied image consulting at the International Academy of Imagery and the International Academy of Technology and Fashion in Toronto, Canada. Lynda taught image counseling courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada for several years. She is the co-author of ‘The Easy Business of Success’, in which she shares her knowledge on ‘The Power of Rules in Business’.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 16,511 times.
Chat is the foundation of most relationships between friends. Whether you’re chatting or talking about serious topics, conversations will help you connect with friends, get to know each other better, and build mutual trust. If you’re having a close conversation, repeat the friend’s personal details and ask about them. If you are talking about an important topic, take the initiative to help and support them. No matter what, be an active listener and let your friend know that you are with them.
Steps
Friendly chat
- Continue to interact with them sincerely, asking how they’ve been doing lately. Even if you can’t chat for long, show them that you really care about them as a friend.
- For example, if your friend has just returned from a trip, say something like, “How was your vacation on Aruba? Tell me.”
- If you don’t understand something, don’t be afraid to ask them to explain. For example, if they ask you about a movie you haven’t seen, don’t just answer, “I haven’t.” Continue with this statement, “That sounds interesting. Tell me more.”
- For example, don’t immediately talk about problems in your romantic relationship. Start with less personal topics and share more personal information as the friendship progresses.
- Balance what you share with what your friend is willing to share. If you really want to talk about personal secrets, but they only want to talk about their pet cat, respect that and wait until you trust each other more to reveal your secrets.
- Similarly, if a friend is sharing more than you’d like to hear, tell them, “I’m not sure I’m the right person for you to talk about it.”
- Don’t lean forward so much that it invades their personal space. The purpose of leaning slightly towards the other person is to show your interest, not to lean towards them so much that it makes them uncomfortable.
Discuss difficult topics
- Sometimes it helps to share a story about a time when you were having a hard time and asked for help. This lets them know that everyone has hard times and that it’s okay to ask for help.
- A question like “How are you feeling?” giving friends more opportunities to express their feelings, instead of asking “Are you crazy?”
- Avoid criticizing their behavior. If a friend has cheated on an exam, don’t judge them as an individual student. Instead, say something like, “Math is hard. Instead of cheating next time, let’s do our homework together so I can tutor you, okay?”
- For example, if a friend is suffering from depression, they may be anxious to talk to a therapist. Offer to help them find a few therapists in their area who specialize in helping people with depression.
Become an active listener
- Say something like, “Okay. I won’t force you if you don’t want to talk. You just need to know that I’m always here if you need someone to listen.”
- There are many reasons why a friend is not available to talk to. Maybe they’re not sure how they feel about it. Maybe they’re trying to forget. Maybe they feel uncomfortable talking about it. Don’t think it’s your problem. Please respect them.
- Occasionally summarize what the other person has to say. This helps them know that you are listening to them.
- Sympathize. Empathy is very important in active listening. If a friend has negative feelings towards you or someone else, acknowledge these feelings instead of being suspicious.
- For example, if they’re under pressure at work, listen until they’re done talking. Then, summarize and show empathy by saying something like, “I know you’re under a lot of pressure right now, and I understand that this kind of workload can lead to stress.”
- If there’s something you really want to talk about but the other person is still talking, make a note of it. You can keep it in your head, or write down a few words on a piece of paper to remind you of your point.
Advice
- Be honest when you talk to your friends. You don’t have to agree with them or go along with them to be approachable. You just need to respect them when expressing your own opinion.
This article was co-written by Lynda Jean. Lynda Jean is an image consultant and owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and shape/style analysis, apparel evaluation, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their self-image, self-esteem, behavior and communication in order to achieve their social and professional goals. Lynda holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology and social work, a master’s degree in clinical social work, and a certification in consultant imaging (CIC). She studied image consulting at the International Academy of Imagery and the International Academy of Technology and Fashion in Toronto, Canada. Lynda taught image counseling courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada for several years. She is the co-author of ‘The Easy Business of Success’, in which she shares her knowledge on ‘The Power of Rules in Business’.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 16,511 times.
Chat is the foundation of most relationships between friends. Whether you’re chatting or talking about serious topics, conversations will help you connect with friends, get to know each other better, and build mutual trust. If you’re having a close conversation, repeat the friend’s personal details and ask about them. If you are talking about an important topic, take the initiative to help and support them. No matter what, be an active listener and let your friend know that you are with them.
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