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This article was co-written by Camber Hill. Camber Hill is a digital expert, author, speaker, and owner of Camber Hill Coaching in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, business executives and professional athletes. He also inspires people working in the entertainment industry such as leading directors, authors, actors and broadcasters. The use of numerology has allowed him to understand the underlying forces that drive his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured on the History Channel’s “The Human Calculator”, The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine and California radio shows. Camber is a member of the Board of Directors of ICF Orange County, and Camber is also a prominent entrepreneur certified by the National Chamber of Commerce for the LGBT Community.
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All of us have at one point or another changed ourselves. Change can be intentional or unconscious. If you want to change yourself, you can do this by examining your habits, beliefs, and outlook. Changing yourself is not an easy process, but you can do it.
Steps
Change the habit
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Identify what you want to change. If you want to change yourself, think about your daily routine. What habits do you want to change? Developing new habits means giving up old ones. For example, you want to make friends, but if you are shy by nature and don’t usually go out, you may have to consider finding new habits that include other people in them. [1] X Research Source
- If you are often anxious and fearful, reflect on how your habits contribute to those fears. Many people report that taking a break from social media exposure leads to a greater sense of well-being.
- Start with small things. Small changes are easier to make than big changes.
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Prioritize the things you want to change. If you want to live a healthier life, changing a habit can be beneficial. For example, if you want to be healthier, quitting smoking is a beneficial new habit. This will make you stronger, easier to exercise, and you will spend less money. [2] X Research Source
- You can replace a bad habit with a good one. If you find yourself starting to engage in negative behavior, whatever it is, consider what else you can do instead.
- Think about who you want to be, then think about all the habits your new self needs in your life. What habits are easy for you to change? That could be a good start.
- The basic rule to remember is that you should start with a habit that is easy to change, or a habit that has many negative consequences. You can decide which habit to start with.
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Use the reminder element to trigger your new habit. No matter how good your intentions are, if you try to rely on motivation and memory to learn a new habit, you won’t get far. A good reminder does not depend on motivation or memory, but on good habits in place. [3] X Source of Research As such, if you’re trying to improve your skin by moisturizing before you go to bed every night, start applying moisturizer right after you wash your face, something you’re already doing. every night. Before long the act of washing your face will trigger the habit of applying moisturizer. [4] X Research Sources
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Repeat the new habit as often as possible. Learning a new habit can take a long time – 15 to 254 days. [5] X Research Sources Repetition is essential for new habits to take root. Even when you feel discouraged, you keep pushing forward. If it’s too difficult, consider finding a new or easier reminder for your new habit.
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Consider changing up your routine for a period of one day at a time. Even if you want to change a bad habit forever, imagining the long and arduous process ahead of you can be frustrating and overwhelming. Instead, try to tell yourself that you will change that habit today , and not think about the future. If a day seems too long, try not to engage in the behavior for 10 minutes. Every time you think of the process as one day, it makes the task seem more manageable and makes you less overwhelmed.
- If you are starting a new habit, you should try to do it every day at the same time. If it becomes part of your daily routine, it will be easier for you to remember. For example, you could try to go for a 10-minute walk every day after dinner, or visit your neighbor’s old man every Sunday afternoon.
- Remind yourself that you don’t have to do the new habit forever, but instead each time for just one day. Then the next day you focus on implementing the new habit that day, and so on.
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Be comfortable. Remember that you don’t have to change everything all at once. The feeling of failure creates a limitation that you probably don’t want to have at all! Instead, when you want to change yourself, focus on what you’re doing well. Be patient with yourself and trust that change will come. [6] X Research Sources
- If you make a mistake and fall back into your old behavior, don’t stress about it. Just you start over the next day.
- You don’t have to understand your old habits or mistakes when trying to practice new patterns of behavior. Instead, keep focusing on the person you want to be.
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Think simple. If you find that the habit you’re trying to change is too difficult, think about whether you can break it down into smaller chunks. For example, if you’re trying to be a more kind person, you could start by allowing someone else to use your parking space, or always keep the door open for people behind. You don’t need to quit your job or set up a charity kitchen to be kind. [7] X Research Sources
- Becoming a more compassionate person is a big goal that involves many small steps. All you need to do is choose a step.
- If you’re working on learning a new skill, start by focusing on it for about 10-30 minutes a day. Perform daily.
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Commit to another person. Asking someone else to help you achieve your change goals is one of the most practical steps you can take. It can be a close friend, but be willing to act as a responsible partner. That person must test any systems you have agreed to use and must be serious in their role. [8] X Research Sources
- Many people find that a daily check-in is the most important of that responsibility. Checking in every day is one way to maintain a daily routine.
- It is possible that the other person also wants to use this commitment to become responsible for something of their own. Partnering with someone who is also determined to make a change in life can be a great motivator.
- If you know people who are also looking for fundamental changes in their lives, you can form a responsibility group with them. As a member of the team, you will be supported and motivated during the change.
- Others may notice changes in your life before you. Sometimes radical changes are more noticeable from the outside.
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Set consequences and rewards. Part of working with others is that they will know about your successes and failures. That creates the consequence of social dynamics. If you’re doing it alone, or if you want to create a more specific consequence, you should incorporate rewards to motivate yourself. You can also set up negative consequences to prevent yourself from being lazy in practicing the new habit. [9] X Research Source
- For example, you can use positive consequences by calculating how much you used to spend on cigarettes over a period of time and using that money to buy something lovely for yourself.
- The reward can be as simple as a shout of “Victory!” every time you excel at a new habit. [10] X Research Source
- One bad consequence you can set is to do household chores that you absolutely don’t like every time you commit the behavior you’re trying to change. For example, if you are trying to break the habit of gossiping, but you find yourself telling a hot sensation to a colleague, then you must spend at least an hour to period scrubbing showers and toilets as punishment.
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Patient. You need to understand that changing yourself is a long process. You can change in ways that are barely noticeable to you, even if the habits you focus on changing are very specific. [11] X Research Source
- There is an old saying, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. Even if it doesn’t seem so, every step on the path helps to fill the gap.
- Do not give up! The only possibility that you can’t change yourself is that you decide not to change. Keep that in mind and follow the instructions above, remembering that you will change if you keep trying.
Personality changes
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Believe that you have the ability to change. The first requirement to change some aspect of your personality is to believe that you can change. If you don’t have this belief, your personality will remain the same. Under any circumstances, believing that you can change will be the single most important factor in your success in changing your personality. [12] X Research Source
- Most of us grew up believing that our qualities and personalities will always be the same. Research has shown that this is not the case.
- If you don’t believe you can change, think about why this might happen. Think about how features of your personality that are of little interest to you can benefit you. If there is a certain fear that keeps you from believing that you can change, work with that fear.
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Choose an aspect of your personality to change. Consider the “big five” (“Big Five”) that psychologists believe make up a person’s character. [13] X Research Source You can use this model as a guide to figure out what you want to change. Once you’ve identified a common feature that needs changing, start thinking about smaller, more specific steps to take. Make that change as specific as possible, especially the way you want to go about it. [14] X Research Sources These five factors are: [15] X Research Sources
- Willingness to Experience : This factor includes willingness to experiment, emotional depth, curiosity, and acceptance of diversity.
- Dedication : Also known as work ethic, aspects of this element include self-discipline, discipline, a sense of authority, and a sense of responsibility.
- Extraversion : If you are a shy person, you would consider improving this trait, as well as your assertiveness, enthusiasm, gregariousness and activity level.
- Pleasant : Traits such as sincerity, humility, trusting others, sympathy and altruism belong to this element.
- Natural reactions : Consider your emotional reactions. Do you have stressful reactions to little things? You may want to practice these traits, such as anxiety, hostility, sensitivity to stress, embarrassment, and self-indulgence.
- If you’re not sure what you want to change but just feel like you want to be different in some way, spend more time thinking about the things that make you uncomfortable.
- If you still don’t know what to think about it, ask for help. People who can help you include: a parent, close friend, counselor, therapist, religious leader, or another trusted person. It is important to remember that you are not alone.
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Consider the pros and cons of new personalities. Before you dive into cultivating a new personality, you need to consider how that personality can help or hinder you, and whether it aligns with your values. If you’re trying to be humble and submissive, but your value beliefs include standing up for injustice and wrongdoing, then your new personality will be at odds with your values. yours, which can be embarrassing and frustrating. Maybe you need to rethink because that personality doesn’t fit your point of view. [16] X Research Source
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Note how you feel about the change. The first thing you need to notice is how attached you are to that trait in your personality. Most people create their own identity through their personality traits. For example, if you are a person who reacts quickly to danger, you may feel anxious about giving up the defensive trait of your personality. You are afraid that people will think you are weak or that they will take advantage of you. [17] X Research Source
- Fear of personality change is a natural feeling! It’s important to acknowledge that fear so you can put it aside.
- Make a plan to deal with the conflict you may feel when you think about changing your personality. Using positive affirmations, relaxation techniques, and your accountability partner are all factors that will help you work through any fears or doubts about changing yourself.
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Imagine yourself with a new personality. Part of believing that you can change is envisioning yourself in a new life, a new style. For example, if you believe you can be an introvert, picture yourself getting energy from spending time alone. Develop that belief with images of a quiet night nourishing your soul. Imagine yourself feeling happy with solitary activities. [18] X Research Sources
- Being willing to learn new personalities means letting go of ideas you may have thought of yourself. If you’re learning how to feel the happiness of being alone, notice each time you start to feel unfit for being alone. Laugh at yourself for those mistakes.
- Look for people who also have the traits you want to build for yourself and imitate them in your everyday life.
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Identify new patterns. Those are the people who represent the life or lifestyle you aspire to create for yourself. One thing that can help you when envisioning yourself in your new personality is to look around to see people who seem to be exhibiting those qualities or traits. [19] X Research Source
- For example, if you want to be a warmer person, look out for people who seem enthusiastic and happy to help others. What do they love, and what do they usually do? You can learn many things by imitating them.
- Don’t forget that you are a role model for others too – it can help you persevere in making a life change. Are you living a life that you want people to look at and imitate? Are the changes you’re making creating a life you’re proud of?
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Practice your new personality. The more often you practice, the more pervasive your new personality trait becomes. The key to making the new personality come naturally is practice in a variety of situations and at different times of the day. [20] X Research Source
- Notice opportunities to act in the new way instead of the old. For example, if you’re practicing spontaneity instead of prudence, invite a new friend to roller-skate. Do things you don’t plan on doing.
- At first it may seem contrived to act in a new way, but don’t be surprised. There’s an old adage, “Just pretend until you really make it!”
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Try using affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements about things that you believe or want to believe. If you want to change yourself, you may have to change what you still believe about yourself and your weaknesses. Those negative beliefs are limiting beliefs . Limiting beliefs can be replaced by positive beliefs, or affirmations. [21] X Research Source
- For example, if you believe you are the type to be easily overwhelmed, you should replace it with the idea that you have strong stamina.
- Write your affirmations on sticky notes and post them where you can see them over and over again every day. Every time you look at it, read it aloud. Over time, this will begin to become part of your mental self-belief.
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Find a guide. Personality change coaching or counseling can help you identify what traits you want to change, and how to achieve those changes. [22] X Research Resources You can discuss your values and beliefs about your ideal self, and a counselor can teach you methods such as cognitive therapy – behavior, acceptance and commitment therapy, or solution-focused therapy to help you reach your goals.
Change in appearance
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Change appearance. Cutting your hair, updating your makeup style, and preparing a new wardrobe are all ways to refresh yourself. If you’re changing your life, try changing your appearance to suit your new self. [23] X Research Sources
- Most of us need a new look every five years. The clothes you usually wear in high school will become outdated when you go to college. If you’ve become a young professional, it’s time to swap out your college student comforts for more professional outfits.
- Look at pictures of people living the lives you want to get some ideas of changes you can apply to your appearance.
- While things like your hair, makeup, or clothes may seem like a shallow way to change yourself, they still reflect your personality. How you look can affect how people treat you and how you think about yourself.
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Enhance with color. Many people find themselves stuck in a rut with a monochromatic way of dressing. If your wardrobe has been all black since you were in your twenties, now is the time to add color. The new colors on the outfit will give you a whole new look. [24] X Research Source
- Get rid of clothes you don’t want to wear anymore. Check out your wardrobe and donate old clothes to charity and make room for new ones.
- Don’t forget the accessories. New belts, scarves and jewelry bring a new look to old outfits.
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Do something spectacular with your hair. Nothing affirms your new change more powerful than changing your hair. Whether it’s dyeing your hair, getting a haircut, getting a hair extension, or shaving it off, a radical change in your hairstyle will have an impact on how you look. [25] X Research Sources
- The right hairstyle will help you look slimmer, younger and healthier.
- Try a hairstyle that you have never thought of before, and you will see how it affects you.
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Simplify your look. If you’re changing yourself, you’ll need a basic wardrobe. If you already have a clear idea of who you want to be, you need to make sure everything in your wardrobe supports that basic look. [26] X Research Sources
- Shop at least 10 pieces of clothing that match your new style, and make sure they go well together.
- These ten outfits will vary from person to person. The attire required for an investment advisor is different from that of an artist in Soho. Choose clothes that match your new look.
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Consider getting a tattoo or piercing. Getting a new tattoo or piercing doesn’t have to be an act of rebellion, but it can be a great way to affirm that you’re changing yourself. What tattoo could represent you? People often use symbols such as butterflies, mermaids or abstract figures to indicate their transformation. [27] X Research Source
- Make sure to get a professional and safe tattoo or piercing service.
- Understand that tattoos are permanent. Before deciding to get a tattoo, you need to make sure that it is a tattoo that you want to keep forever.
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This article was co-written by Camber Hill. Camber Hill is a digital expert, author, speaker, and owner of Camber Hill Coaching in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, business executives and professional athletes. He also inspires people working in the entertainment industry such as leading directors, authors, actors and broadcasters. The use of numerology has allowed him to understand the underlying forces that drive his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured on the History Channel’s “The Human Calculator”, The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine and California radio shows. Camber is a member of the Board of Directors of ICF Orange County, and Camber is also a prominent entrepreneur certified by the National Chamber of Commerce for the LGBT Community.
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All of us have at one point or another changed ourselves. Change can be intentional or unconscious. If you want to change yourself, you can do this by examining your habits, beliefs, and outlook. Changing yourself is not an easy process, but you can do it.
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