How to Change Negative Thinking Habits

Negative thinking habits are a common concern. Our thoughts affect our daily lives both emotionally and behaviorally. It is important that you understand how to influence pessimistic thinking to minimize the negative consequences. Fortunately, you can learn to change your pessimistic thinking habits by identifying your thinking habits, changing your thinking with purpose, thinking more positively, and dealing with negative thinking appropriately. .

Table of Contents

Identify Your Negative Thinking Habits

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List your unconscious negative thoughts. Thoughts are directly related to feelings and behaviour. Our thoughts influence our feelings, and our feelings influence our behaviour. All three things (thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) simultaneously influence each other. This is the central idea of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a treatment specifically used to deal with negative thinking habits. ^{[1] X Research Sources} CBT is effective in reducing negative thinking habits. ^{[2] X Research Source} Listing negative thoughts increases awareness of your own thoughts and improves your ability to change your mind in a healthy way.

Some examples of negative thinking: “I’m stupid, nothing good is going to happen, something bad is about to happen, [and] I know I’m about to fail”.
If you’re unsure about your negative thinking habits, ask a family member or friend if they can point to a way of thinking they think is negative or unhelpful.

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Discover the causes of negative thinking habits. Knowing the source of your negative thoughts will help you identify why you think that way. Maybe stories from the past are the cause of your negative thinking.

Identify the reasons and situations that are causing the negative thinking. For example, if you think, “I’m not good at it,” identify the situation that caused you to think that way. Some possible scenarios are: my mother asked me to get good grades but I couldn’t, I got fired from my job, the relationship broke down, my friends treated me badly.
You should determine when and how you have such thoughts because you can identify your own habits. What is the case here? Who showed up? Where did you live? For example, sometimes you think you are useless, identify the place that made you think like that, who was next to you, where you were. You may find common ground. For example, you think, “I’m stupid,” when you’re late for work, at work, or alone.

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Shape the list out of habit. It’s important to identify your specific thinking habits before changing anything. Our negative thinking develops into a thought habit known as a core belief. They are also known as unhelpful thinking habits and can be ingrained in the mind. ^{[3] X Research Sources} They are not only useless but do not reflect reality. They are extreme thoughts that are not based on the details that shape life events and people. Write down what you have in common or habits you have. For example, if you tend to think “I’m stupid,” this thought is part of your habit of self-criticism. Here are some common thinking patterns:

Seriousness is a way of thinking bad things are going to happen, “Bad things are about to happen.”
Overgeneralizing is drawing conclusions about life based on a single situation or independent thought, “I always make mistakes.”
Mind reading is a way of thinking in which you read other people’s minds. Example: “I know she doesn’t like me.”
Predicting the future is believing that something is certain to happen, “I will fail.”
Self-criticism is negative thinking about yourself, such as “It’s all my fault. I’m stupid.”
Thinking clearly means that one thing is completely good, the other is completely bad, there is no general case. For example, you think “She’s the worst” or “She’s the best” but don’t think “She can be tough but still a good person.”

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Determine consequences. Identify the reasons why the thoughts are negative, this will help you understand why you need to change these thoughts. ^{[4] X Research Source} For example, if you find yourself thinking negatively, “I am not good enough” because you isolate yourself from society, underestimate yourself, or hurt yourself in some way – this is the direct negative consequence. Identify negative outcomes that occurred in the past when you had repeated thoughts.

After making a list of your unconscious thoughts, list the negative consequences of having such thoughts. Work with each thought habit you identify.

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Record your thoughts. Use a spreadsheet to identify negative thoughts by day or by week.

Identify ideas that support and do not support your thinking. Use these arguments to determine the right and useful thinking. For example, you have the thought “I am not good enough”; The idea against this mindset might be: I’m worth it, I’ve done my best, I don’t need to change for anyone, I think I’m fine myself. ^{[5] X Research Sources}^{[6] X Research Sources}

Actively Change Your Habits of Useless Thinking

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Avoid using negative words. Stop thinking about negative words like no and can’t . If you let negative thoughts grow in your mind, they will affect how you react to situations and potentially cause negative outcomes. ^{[7] X Research Source} Attempts to consciously change those words with yes and can . Accept the fact that everyone fails at times, but use it as an opportunity to learn from the experience and do better next time.

Make a list of negative and extreme words you use often, such as “always” or “never”. This is an example of the error of thinking clearly. Then develop a more balanced view or expression like this: “most of the time, sometimes, not very often”. Write these options on paper and pay attention as you use them in conversation. Remind yourself the moment you use balanced or judgmental language in general.

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Find the connection between negative emotions and thoughts. After you’ve identified unhelpful thoughts and developed a list of positive thoughts to replace them, you need to proactively focus on your thoughts and change them as soon as they arise. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Focus on monitoring your thoughts and paying attention when you start to think negatively. You can do this by noticing times when you feel pessimistic, then thinking about, “What thought made you feel this way?”. If you’re feeling depressed, for example, ask yourself, “Is it because I always think I’m not good enough?”.
If you think, “I am not good,” remember to alternate thoughts and repeat over and over again: “I am a good person. I deserve to be loved.” Or you can go back in time and incorporate more detail into your thoughts, such as, “When I was younger I wasn’t successful at what I really wanted to do. Now I’m more mature and realize that in Everyone has to experience failure in life. Just because I failed once doesn’t mean I’m not good enough to try anything. I’ve made mistakes in the past but now I understand if I failed the first time. If I fail, I can try again and practice until I achieve my goals and dreams.”
If you keep practicing, even new, more balanced thoughts will become instinctive. You will become more proficient over time, but remember to focus your attention on your own thoughts and do the work necessary to change them.

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Choose a realistic or positive interpretation. Everything in life is perceived as good or bad. For example, if someone gives you a bottle of perfume, it could be because he likes you (positive) or because you have body odor (negative). The trick here is to choose the most realistic explanation and say it to yourself (better say it out loud). Then consider the (real) reason why the positive explanation is appropriate. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Think More Positive

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Be aware of what you are grateful for. Write a list of the things big and small that make you feel grateful. Include family, lover, pets, comfort family, etc. This helps you appreciate the positive things in life because it requires you to change your perspective on the things you have instead of not. . ^{[10] X Research Source}

When things are not going well, instead of focusing on the bad things, focus on the list of positive things in life. Focus your attention on the little things like the house you live in or the food you eat.

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Practice mindfulness. Practice mindfulness techniques that help reduce unconscious negative thinking. ^{[11] X Mindfulness Research Resources} helps us to remove our focus on the negative. When people possess this ability, they experience less depression and anxiety. Shifting attention to the positive helps prevent rumination, which is an essential emotion with coping skills. ^{[12] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} Live for the present, not the past or the future. Many people spend so much time regretting what happened in the past and worrying about the future that they can’t enjoy the present. Accept that you cannot change the past, but you can control the present and it will affect your future.

Practice mindfulness by focusing your attention directly on the present activity, such as eating, cleaning, and other daily activities. ^{[13] X Research Source} Try to live in the present moment and take in everything you experience. Pay attention to how your body feels, what you see and how you feel. Focus only on the activity you are doing.

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See every day as a new opportunity to achieve a goal. Life offers many opportunities for every moment. Setting goals for yourself helps you focus your energy on something positive instead of worrying about negative thoughts.

Start by identifying a few goals you want to accomplish over the next 6 months. Goal examples: apply for a job, graduate, buy a car, have many friends, or whatever you want to do. Make that goal realistic and achievable. You can use a spreadsheet or track your own. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Start your day by focusing on what you’re doing to achieve your goals.

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Accept change. This prevents you from falling into negative thoughts like life doesn’t accept you when it’s not. You need to understand that change is part of life.

You may encounter extremely difficult but unavoidable situations in life (loss of job, loss of lover). It’s simply that sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. Try to see the situation as an opportunity for growth or a human experience (such as a loss) that you can overcome. ^{[15] X Research Source}
Develop a personal mantra or positive affirmation that helps you accept change, such as “Everything will go in the right direction” or “Change will open new doors”. ^{[16] X Research Source}

Dealing with Long-term Negative Thoughts

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Use coping techniques. We all have negative thoughts. It’s important not only to know how to change, but to deal with them if the thoughts are acceptable. ^{[17] X Research Source} For example, if you lose someone you love, you think “I miss that person so much” and this honest thinking is absolutely true. You don’t have to change these thoughts if they are appropriate, based on fact and usefulness. So, you need to learn how to deal with negative thoughts and situations.

Learn to distinguish negative thinking that needs change and thinking based on reality. Check to see if your thoughts fit into any of the useless thinking categories listed here: critical thinking, predicting the future, self-criticism, over-generalizing, thinking clearly, and Read thinking. ^{[18] X Research Sources} If your thinking doesn’t fit the above categories, it’s probably not a negative thinking habit. If you’re facing a difficult situation like a breakup or illness, it’s normal to have negative thoughts.
Shift attention or distract yourself with positive things like fun activities. You can use strategies to deal with negative thoughts and feelings, such as engaging in art, writing, and forms of exercise like dancing.
Integrate with nature. Sunshine and fresh air can help you feel better and change your perspective. Just getting up and moving can lift you up and generate lots of positive thoughts.
If you have a faith or religion, try praying or talking to a higher power.

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Accept thoughts. Avoid trying to immediately change your mind if you determine that it is correct. The idea of acceptance is a core component of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) of relationship change in thinking rather than the focus on direct thought change. ^{[19] X Research Source}

Everyone has negative thoughts, accept this situation and your thoughts may be less affected.
You need to understand which thoughts are appropriate and which are not. Don’t just believe in any thought. They are just thoughts that come to mind, you can deny it if you want. ^{[20] X Research Source}

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Focus on overall physical and mental health. If you feel unwell physically or mentally, this can increase negative thinking. Good physical health is connected with optimism. ^{[21] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} So taking care of yourself is crucial, especially during difficult times.

Eat a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, protein and vitamins. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption, do not use drugs without a doctor’s prescription, or use other substances.
Exercise is an effective way to boost feelings of optimism and keep yourself from thinking negatively. Try a new and innovative form of exercise: hiking, rock climbing, dance, aerobics, martial arts and yoga.

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Find guidance and support. Referring to this article is a good start. Reading the experiences shared by others is also a good way to realize that changing the habit of thinking from bad to good is completely possible. Go on the Internet to search for the keyword “positive” or “positive phrase”, etc. There are many optimists who always want to help others get rid of negative thoughts.

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Receive treatment. If negative thinking is the cause of extreme emotions or is associated with dangerous and harmful behavior, you should seek treatment. If you have any of the following symptoms, you should see a professional: thoughts of harming yourself or others, persistent depressed or irritable mood, poor concentration, sleep changes (sleeping too much or too little). ), weight changes and loss of appetite, loss of energy, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, irritability, restlessness.

Contact a psychologist, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) or marriage and family therapist (MFT). There are many treatments available to help replace negative thinking: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). ^{[22] X Research Sources} DBT is a form of treatment that helps patients improve their suffering capacity (dealing with negative thoughts and emotions), learn mindfulness skills, and make an impact in a relationship .
Explore prescription options. If your negative thoughts are serious (thoughts of harming yourself or others) or are depressed, anxious, then you must have a big psychological problem. In this case, medication is used to treat emotional symptoms and extreme thought processes (such as delusional thinking). Consult a psychologist to evaluate, or discuss psychoactive drug options. ^{[23] X Research Sources}

Advice

Optimistic thinking is contagious, so surround yourself with people who make you happy and upbeat.
Small start. It’s easier to change the negative to the positive step by step. Trying to change the very bad into the good quickly is a real challenge. Trying to tell yourself that you like someone you hate is simply lying to yourself and it won’t work. Instead, find a positive aspect and make sure you believe in it before moving on to something more positive. Don’t force yourself to think optimistically. You need to accept that negative thinking is a contrasting part of life and always remember that if you don’t know what you don’t like, you can’t know what you like. You can choose to think but don’t be discouraged if you fall behind. Instead, if you find useless thoughts re-emerging, see this as an opportunity to solve part of the puzzle. Emotional issues are extremely complex and multi-layered. They cover many layers and take years to develop, and are influenced by many factors. You need to be patient and understand that this is a long process that will calm you down when those thoughts come up again. Be kind to yourself.

Warning

Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind. They will appear from time to time so kill them in the bud and replace them with positive thinking immediately. This will create the habit of thinking positively instead of being negative.
If you have thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, see a psychologist or doctor as soon as possible.

Steps