How to Change for a Better Life

Changing your life for the better includes who you are, aspects of your life, your own environment, your goals and aspirations, and what motivates you to strive for a healthy life. and happy. Life is a journey, and one way to change your life for the better is to accept that there are many things in life that are beyond your control. ^{[1] X Research Sources Luhmann, Maike; Orth, Ulrich; Specht, Jule; Kandler, Christian; and Lucas, Richard E. Studying Changes in Life Circumstances and Personality: It’s About Time. European Journal of Personality. May/Jun 2014, Vp. 28, Issue 3, p256-266} The things you can control are your attitude, your vision, your resilience, your mental health, and how you react to situations that life challenges you. Changing your life is always a process and not just a simple adjustment. ^{[2] X Research Sources Kenneth Bradford, G. and Sterling, Mply Merrill. The Journey Is the Goal: The Legacy of James FT Bugental. Journal of Humanistic Psychology. Jul 2009, Vp. 49, Issue 3, p316-328}

Table of Contents

Self-awareness

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Follow your inner control point. Inner checkpoints show how you see yourself in relation to the events of your life and your attitude towards the things that happen to you. ^{[3] X Research Sources Chen, Jingqiu and Wang, Lei, Locus of contrp and the three components of commitment to change. Personality & Individual Differences. Feb 2007, Vp. 42, Issue 3, p503-512.} A strong inner control point means that you take responsibility for everything in your life, you are courageous in your ability to deal with problems or difficulties that may come your way. To start changing your life for the better, raise your inner control point.

On the contrary, if there is an external point of control, you will feel like everything is natural to you, you are a victim of circumstances, you do not feel capable to deal with difficult events. .
As a simple example, imagine that you have just been in a car accident, no one is hurt, you and the other driver are both at fault. If you are a person with an inner control point, you will accept the situation, trust that you can handle the consequences, and even though it is a difficult situation, you will still think you can handle it. If your control point is outside, you will think like, “Why does this always happen to me? Nothing is as good as you want it to be. I always do things wrong. The whole world is against me, no matter what I do.”

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Determine where your control points are located. There is a simple true-false test available online that you can try and score in about ten minutes to see where your control score lies. ^{[4] X Research Resources} Take the quiz to know your score so you can begin to understand how you handle life.

When you understand your beliefs and your ability to handle adversity, you’ll be able to see where you need to start changing your attitude toward life in a more positive and productive way.

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Know why you need to change. Feeling unable to control yourself or your life can lead to feelings of stagnation, depression, helplessness, and despair. How can you change your life for the better if you feel so bogged down? Are you living your life or are you letting life swallow you? Most people tend to think negatively about themselves when life doesn’t turn out the way they imagined. This reaction is normal, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change it. ^{[5] X Research Source Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psyhco-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vp. 9, Issue 1, p51-58. 8p}

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Initiate change by logging. Once you know where your control points are and why you need to change, you can begin to work toward a stronger, more inner-life approach. Write down recent events that made you angry and frustrated – such as school tests, performance at work, self-esteem in relationships – and also successes and coping skills. yours against adversity. Write down all the things that make you worry, nervous, angry, or nauseous that you can think of. Next, you write down your natural reaction to those situations. Jot down as many real-life or imaginary examples as you can think of, of both your reactions and thoughts and being honest when life doesn’t go the way you want it to.

For example, people are often stressed because of their performance at school or at work. Try writing: “If I fail this test, I am a failure and an idiot. That test was probably unfair and I didn’t have enough time to study. I can’t do it.” Those sentences ease your burden of responsibility when the actual results of the test are available. ^{[6] X Research Resources} That will help you reach out and begin to change how you feel.

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Reframe your thinking. Let’s start a stronger outlook on life with diary lines. The power of words will help you see clearly your choices in the way you look at life. Being aware of that choice and using the power you have to see life your way will help you begin to change your life for the better. With feelings recorded in your journal, begin to tailor your response to a promising choice, with a sense of possibility and appreciation. Own your decisions, own your time and your consequences, and be realistic about your role in the events of your life.

For example, you could write about a test like, “I should have studied more, but I didn’t because I was too busy going to the movies, but that’s okay. I didn’t do as well as I wanted, but next time will be better. I know that because I know how to study and manage my time well. I’m only human, and sometimes I make mistakes. There will be more tests to come, and this is not the end of the world. I’ll talk to the professor to see what I can do to improve my grades.” ^{[7] X Research Sources Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psyhco-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vp. 9, Issue 1, p51-58. 8p}

Get to Know Yourself

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Evaluate your personal qualities. Developing a healthy quality is essential for changing lives for the better. Who are you? What kind of person do you want to be in this world? How do you see yourself? How do you think others see you? It is extremely important to discover and change how you see yourself and how you feel about how people see you. It can bring about a really big change in behavior and give you the motivation to keep striving for change for a better life.

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Take Briggs, Meyers, & Jung’s personality tests. To learn more about yourself, take the Briggs, Meyers, & Jung test of short multiple-choice questions that can help you identify key qualities in your personality. Use that result to discover what sounds accurate about you. It will help you understand some of the basic functions of your personality through which you can change your life. Self-awareness and understanding is the starting point for positive changes in your life.

This quiz is available for free online. ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Focus on what you admire about yourself. Write in your journal the qualities you admire about yourself. Are you a kind person? Do you have a talent for making people laugh? Knowing that wisdom comes in many forms beyond just education or certifications, do you feel smart? Are you curious? Start with the positive aspects of who you are and use your journal to honestly list the things you really love about yourself.

Do not limit yourself! Write freely about anything you love about yourself, big or small. Do you like your hair? Or your fingers? Do you like your voice or the way you talk? Do you like your style? You are a composite human being from many components that you feel about yourself.
Surprise yourself by how complex you are, and dive deep into the many aspects of yourself that you truly admire. Making positive changes in your life means finding your true self and appreciating that person. ^{[12] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Determine what you want to develop. Once you have a long list of things you love, make a list of the qualities in your personality that you want to develop. Remember, change and growth requires effort that you can’t get right away. Not just by writing in your journal that you hate losing your temper, but waking up in the morning will give you a sense of composure. You write for self-awareness. You cannot change or develop something that you are not aware of.

Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to journaling. Avoid using extreme or extreme statements like “I am stupid” or “I never do anything right”. Focus on the realization that being human is not perfect and making mistakes is possible. You should try to think about things like being less shy, being more restrained, more organized, or becoming a better listener.
Everyone has flaws, and part of striving for better change in life is seeing yourself and your personality as a work in progress. ^{[13] X Source of Research Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239}

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Set small and achievable goals. Once you know what you want to change, set small, achievable goals to help you change every small part of your personality. Each stage focuses on one characteristic. For example, you promise yourself that you will apply active listening skills to at least one conversation today. Write down methods you can use for active listening in your daily interactions and implement them.

At the end of the day, you journal about your experience, about how well you did. When did you succeed? When do you not hear as good as you can? Record how you feel about starting to change aspects of your personality.
Start slow, because you don’t want to drown yourself out by trying to change it all at once or demanding perfection. Be optimistic that it will come. The more you feel proactive about creating a strong and satisfying self, the more motivated you’ll be to keep changing your life for the better. ^{[14] X Research Resources Padesky, Christine A. and Mooney, Kathleen A. Strengths-Based Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy: A Four-Step Model to Build Resilience. Clinical Psychpogy & Psychotherapy. Jul/Aug 2012, Vp. 19, Issue 4, p283-290}

Set Short Term Goals

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Rate your life. Once you’ve learned more about yourself, your qualities, and your personality, you can begin to look at the actual changes you’d like to make. Keep a journal in your journal of short-term goals that you can change in the near future and long-term goals that may take more time and effort to accomplish.

Only you know how you want your life to be, and only you have the power to make decisions that make a difference for a better life.

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Improve physical health. One of the ways that you can change for the better is by taking care of your physical health. When the body is healthy, the mind is also healthy. The goal is to stay in shape. Start planning activities like running, walking, or some other type of physical activity three to five times a week. Add in strength training to help you stay more flexible. You should also eat better for your overall health.

If you smoke, try to quit. Smoking is harmful to your health and to those around you. Use forms to help you quit, such as nicotine patches, gum, lozenges, e-cigarettes, or support groups. ^{[16] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

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Express yourself through your appearance. If you’re not happy with your style or look, make a plan to change it. Dress in a new style or change your hairstyle to better suit your personality and the way you feel. Start by wearing clothes that make you happy and comfortable with yourself. Wear fun accessories to add some personality to your everyday look.

These can be small and gradual choices if you’re not ready to change them all at once. Do what you feel is right for you. ^{[17] X Research Sources Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239}

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Improve your living conditions. Your living environment can easily be improved with a little effort. If you are messy by nature, try cleaning up your room or house more often. A clean place to live will help you feel more comfortable and more in control of your life. Try to make it a habit of daily cleaning, because maintaining a cleaner and more orderly living space can make you feel more comfortable and your life better. If you are bored with the old design of a room or house, try redecorating with a style that you find more interesting. Adding some new pillows, changing the color of the wall paint or repositioning furniture will also make your living space more lovely.

Your surroundings really have an impact on your happiness and are a creative way to manifest the change you feel in your life.
Try living a more eco-friendly life or reducing your carbon footprint. Reduce electricity consumption by turning off lights, saving water in the shower, or trying to avoid waste in your living space. Start leaving a recycling bin in your home or take a carpool to work. They are also easy ways to help you improve your living conditions. ^{[18] X Source of Research Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239}

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Join the community. Feeling connected to people can help you get in touch with others and with yourself. It’s also a useful tool in understanding your life and how you want to change yourself for the better. Volunteer at charity kitchens, homeless shelters, animal shelters, or food distribution cooperatives. Most of them only require a small amount of time, usually an hour a week or whenever you have time.

Volunteering for a cause you believe in is a great way to boost your self-esteem and strengthen your sense of competence, because you’re actively participating in helping others. ^{[19] X Research Sources Adler, Alfred. The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychpogy, 1925}

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Cultivate new interests. If you want to make your life better, start cultivating new hobbies or doing things you enjoy. Take a dance class, take music lessons, or sign up for a bird class. Read more books or go to a place you still want to explore. It doesn’t matter what hobby, as long as it’s something you want to do.

Nurturing your sense of self will help you develop the motivation to keep striving for a change in life for the better. ^{[20] X Research Sources Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239}

Set Long Term Goals

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Career change. There are goals that are further than others. If you are not satisfied with your career, you should think about ways to improve your situation. Consider every other realistic career goal that comes to mind and work toward it. If you love your job but don’t like your particular situation, think about how you can aim for a promotion or job change.

If you want to do something different, do your research on what you really want to do and take steps in the direction you want to go.
This takes time, so go slow, make solid decisions, and weigh your finances wisely. Don’t forget that using short-term goals when striving for change can help ease the time for long-term changes. ^{[21] X Research Source}

Take care of yourself

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Be aware of how you feel. Changing lives for the better can be challenging work. It’s important to take care of yourself and make sure you don’t run out of energy and give up as you embark on your life-changing journey. Praise yourself that it’s brave to just nurture the idea of change, especially when it’s not easy. The process of getting to know yourself and realizing your potential in terms of courage, responsibility, and competence can be daunting. Being honest about your qualities — not just how you feel about yourself but also how you think people see you — can be exhausting. Making choices about the things you want to change for the better can be intimidating, and the change itself can be exhausting.

Be proud, even just because you’ve made a life-changing effort. Life isn’t easy, and actively expressing yourself and finding your potential always requires strength.

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Reduce stress in your life. If you feel overwhelmed by the changes you’re making, pause and take a break. Watch a movie or TV show, read a good book and play a game with a friend. Have a night out with friends to relax. Chat with a funny friend. Soak in a hot tub or shower to relieve stress.

If you want, you can talk to your friends about the changes you’re feeling and get their advice or support. ^{[25] X Research Sources}

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Keep calm. There are times when you feel tired because of the mountain of work piled up. At such times, remember to practice breathing exercises. Take 10 minutes a day, sit with your hands on your stomach, and breathe to dispel stress. Remember that changing your life doesn’t mean being perfect. Every day is a journey, and even days that leave you feeling bogged down and discouraged are part of a journey towards a better life. ^{[26] X Research Sources}

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Self-awarded. As you strive for changes in your life, take time to reward yourself. Eat your favorite candy, go out to play or cook yourself a delicious meal, buy a new shirt, a new video game, or whatever reward catches your eye. Try to remember that you are on a journey, and that you are miraculous to continue on it. Reward yourself for getting on board and embarking on a life-changing journey for the better.

If you’re stressed, treat yourself to a massage or ask someone you love to give you a massage.

Steps

Self-awareness

Get to Know Yourself

Set Short Term Goals

Set Long Term Goals

Take care of yourself

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