How to Care for a Boyfriend Who’s In a Depressed Mood

When your boyfriend is depressed and having a bad day, it makes him tired. Although it will be difficult, you should be there to help and encourage him. By letting him know that you’re there and comforting him, you’ll be able to help your guy realize that you make him truly happy.

Table of Contents

Be by his side

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Listen when he wants to talk. If your boyfriend seems depressed, you can help by giving him an opportunity to share the problem with you. Talking about it can help him feel better or find a solution. ^{[1] X Research Source}

You might say something like, “Honey, you seem to be upset. Do you want to share it with me?”
If he wants to share, become an active listener. Don’t interrupt or urge him to try to fix the problem. You should just listen.

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Acknowledge his feelings. One of the most valuable things you can do to help your boyfriend is to show that you understand or sympathize with what is going on in his life. Recognition means that you let him know that his feelings are okay and that you can understand. ^{[2] X Research Source}

First, you should let him tell you how he’s feeling. Listen to emotional statements, such as “I don’t know what to do” or “I am so disappointed”.
Then you acknowledge his feelings by saying something like, “I’m really sorry about what happened. I understand that you are confused” or “I really understand why you feel so frustrated”.

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Sympathize if he’s quiet. Even if your boyfriend is the expressive type, he probably won’t want to immediately discuss the situation or his feelings. You need to encourage him to speak up. However, if he’s not ready, don’t put pressure on it. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, if you ask something like “Do you want to share with me?” And he says “No,” so you should say, “Yeah. Okay. I’m always here if you want to talk.”
Don’t keep asking him to tell you what the problem is if he doesn’t want to. You should give him time. Chances are he’ll open up.

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Give him space. Don’t be surprised if your boyfriend asks for some space to deal with what’s going on. Some people like to be alone when they feel depressed. You should try not to see it as your problem—just give him some alone time. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Let’s say your boyfriend got into an argument with his dad. If he needs space to think about it, you could say something like, “I’ll give you some alone time, but will you stop by and check on me later?”
If your guy doesn’t directly say he needs some alone time, he’s probably just happy to have you around.

Encourage him to seek professional help if he can’t get over his feelings of boredom. If your boyfriend is bored for a long time, withdraws from family and friends, or begins to engage in risky behaviors, he may need counseling from a mental health professional. Suggest that he attend a therapy session. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been bored lately. Have you thought about talking to a therapist about this?”
Tell your boyfriend that you will help him find a therapist or even accompany him to an appointment if he needs your support.

Comfort him

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Hug him. Physical contact is a great way to show your love for your guy. If you both often give each other hugs, give him a hug when he’s upset. If hugging is not a familiar thing between the two of you, you should consult him first. ^{[6] X Research Source}

If he’s depressed because he didn’t get a promotion at work, you could say something like, “Can I give you a hug?”

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Kiss him. Kissing is also a way to show your love for that person. You can kiss his forehead or cheek to show you care. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Kiss your boyfriend only if this kind of intimacy is normal in your relationship. If not, ask him first if he agrees.

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Remind him of why he’s awesome. If your boyfriend’s mood swings are negatively impacting his confidence, remind him why you think he’s awesome. This can help him get rid of his irritable feelings and recognize negative criticism. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, if he failed a job interview, you might say something like, “They can’t see the best in me, but you can. I trust you”.
If he lost a friend, you could say something like, “I know you had a hard time confronting Dung about his lying habit. I’m proud of you”.
Tell him why you are grateful to have him in your life. If he’s starting to feel good, ask him to say something he’s also grateful for.

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Give a specific suggestion to help. You can be frank and ask your boyfriend, “How can I help you?” however, he probably doesn’t have a specific request. Instead, you can think of a proactive way to help him improve the situation, based on what you know. ^{[9] X Research Source}

For example, if your boyfriend is depressed about his test scores, you can offer to help him study for the next test.
If he’s upset because he has too much to do on the weekend, you can help him out, like doing some chores or errands.

Encourage him

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Play a song he likes. If you want to help your boyfriend out of his depression, play the tunes of his favorite songs. This doesn’t guarantee he’ll be in the mood to dance, but it will improve his mood. ^{[10] X Research Source}

You can even tell him why you’re playing music, like, “I know you’re upset about your parents’ divorce, so I thought I could play your favorite song to make you feel better. than”.

Exercise together. Physical activity stimulates the release of feel-good chemicals in the body called endorphins. This chemical can help your boyfriend improve his mood. In addition, physical activity is an effective way to help keep him from focusing on what happened. ^{[11] X Research Source}

You could say something like, “My job has put a lot of stress on me. Why don’t we go swimming to relax a bit?” or “Let’s take the dog for a walk and talk about it. Do you agree?”
If your boyfriend is angry, exercise is an effective way to channel negative energy.

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Treat him to comfort foods. Food may not be the way to your guy’s heart, but it can help his mood. The reason you want to eat comforting foods when you’re stressed, depressed, or sad: there are certain foods that trigger feelings of satisfaction in the brain. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Perhaps your boyfriend is upset because of his low grades in school. You should comfort him a little by cooking or ordering food that he likes. Cheese or pizza won’t increase his score, but it will make him feel better for a while.
The occasional comforting food will work, but be wary of eating it too often. If your boyfriend has a tendency to overeat, you should try making something healthier (or a healthier version of the dish that feels good).

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Tell a naive joke. A smile can dispel many different problems, so really try to make him laugh. Tell a funny joke of your own or send him funny pictures or videos. ^{[13] X Research Source}

You can use a joke that is relevant to his situation, like “You think your work environment is horrible? Check out this funny compilation on YouTube. I bet you will change your mind.”

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Watch his favorite TV show or movie. If your boyfriend watches a TV show or movie that makes him laugh, lie down on the couch together and watch it—even better if it’s a comedy. That show or movie can help him forget his troubles. When the movie is over, he’ll probably feel better, or at least he’ll be more willing to share the problem. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Steps

Be by his side

Comfort him

Encourage him

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