How to Build Trust

Trust is the most important factor in a relationship. ^{[1] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.} People trust others when they feel they can show their vulnerable side and are reassured that everything is fine. You can build trust in a relationship if you’re willing to put in the effort. Building trust requires a commitment to act with credibility. ^{[2] X Research Source Rousseau, DM, Sitkin, SB, Burt, RS, & Camerer, C. (1998). Not so different after all: A cross-discipline view of trust. Academy of management review, 23(3), 393-404.}

Table of Contents

Be a Trusted Person

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Do what you say. One of the most important steps to building a foundation of trust is to do what you say. ^{[3] X Research Source} Even if it’s just a small thing, canceling or not doing as you say will shake other people’s trust in you.

Sometimes not doing it can be ignored, but constantly breaking promises is unacceptable. Gradually people will think you are untrustworthy.

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Honor your promise. Trust requires you to be someone who can be trusted for the long term. ^{[4] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.} So when you make a promise to someone, you have to keep it.

If you can’t keep your promise, you should explain directly to them why you can’t keep your promise.
Especially when you promise something important, an explanation is not enough. You need to promise to do something else to calm the person. This time you must definitely keep your promise no matter what!
Don’t disregard the original promise. You may not take petty promises seriously, but others don’t. Any act of breaking a promise can disappoint others.

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Must be consistent. An important part of the definition of reliability is speaking consistently. Therefore, a trustworthy person is someone you can always trust.

Remember, doing what you say once or twice isn’t enough to build a solid foundation of trust in a relationship. ^{[5] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.}

Being an Honest Person

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Always tell the truth if possible. Although there are some situations where you shouldn’t tell the truth ^{[6] X Plante Research Source , TG (2004). Do the Right Thing. Living Ethically.} But for the most part, this is still the best option.

Perhaps the most important time to tell the truth is when you benefit from a lie. ^{[7] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.} If you can be honest about your personal expenses, you’ve proven the relationship is important to you. You can show them that they are more important than yourself. ^{[8] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.}
For example, imagine you borrow a book from a friend and spill coffee on it. You can say you lost the book. Or try to find a replacement book and pretend nothing happened. But you really should tell that friend the truth. A broken book isn’t a big deal, but if that friend finds out the truth, trust will be shaken.

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Admit if you lie. Sometimes you just can’t tell the truth. Sometimes you lie without thinking. If you’ve lied to someone, it’s best to confess to them as soon as possible. Then, explain why and sincerely apologize. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If found out, don’t deny it, because you’re continuing to lie and that will lose trust.

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Speak honestly. When you feel like lying to someone, whether to avoid hurting their feelings or your own, focus on something else. Pick the person’s good points and emphasize it in conversation.

Focus on talking about that good point instead of emphasizing the bad news you want to convey.
Pretend to be a willing listener. You can say things like “It seems to me” or “I believe so” to emphasize your perception of the truth. ^{[10] X Knapp Research Source , ML “Lying and deception in human interaction.” (2008).} This shows that you are receptive to the other person’s point of view and helps maintain a relationship of trust.
For example, if you need to tell a friend that she made a mistake, explain the situation in a neutral and non-judgmental way. Focus on her strengths, values, and how she can solve problems. Then ask her questions and listen. Don’t tell her everything will be fine if it really isn’t.
The conversation might go something like this: “Mai, I think you made a big mistake in your report. I think you’re under too much pressure on this new project. I understand that error doesn’t reflect. But I think we should immediately notify the client and give them a new report.”

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Express feelings. Those who only convey the truth are seen as cold and unapproachable. This does not encourage trust.

You may think it would be easier to report things. But if you don’t show your emotions, people will think you’re emotionless.

Being an Open Person

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Voluntary provision of information. When you get a chance, try to open your heart. Self-disclosure is a good idea, proving that you are not a person with information. ^{[11] X Research Source} The following is an example:

In a new two-person relationship, the other person may ask, “How are you today?” You can answer: “Everything is fine”. But this answer can’t build trust because you don’t share any information with them.
Now imagine someone else answering the above question like this: “I went to the doctor. I thought it was normal but the doctor suspected a heart murmur. The doctor has not come to a specific conclusion and wants me to come in for a closer examination next week. I don’t know if I should worry or not.” This answer is a sign of openness, and can build trust.
In this case, the other person may be disappointed not to know that you are going to see a doctor even though you are still uncertain about the outcome. The omission can hurt intimacy in a relationship. Maybe it’s because you’ve been nervous about the test all week, but your partner doesn’t understand why you’re nervous. They want to see if they can help you.

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Don’t leave out important details. The reason important details can’t be left out is because it’s difficult to connect the information you share. People will notice the inconsistency in your story, you will be discredited even if you miss it a little.

If you want to build trust, you have to tell people what they need or want to know.

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If there are things you’re not willing to share, don’t be afraid to tell them directly. You shouldn’t ignore your feelings and personal secrets just to build trust. Remember that everyone has control over their personal information. ^{[12] X Research Source Petronio, S. (2013). Brief status report on communication privacy management theory. Journal of Family Communication, 13(1), 6-14.} The key to being trusted while maintaining privacy is to set clear boundaries.

For example, you could say to someone, “I’m not ready to share my feelings right now. But I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about.” This gives listeners a chance to demonstrate that they are understanding and patient. More importantly, it also gives listeners a sense of peace of mind. This is a preferable option than saying vague or dishonest things about private things.

Show your integrity

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Keep what is told a secret. Don’t reveal other people’s stories if they don’t want to. This is an act of betrayal of trust. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Everyone has a tendency to say what’s on their mind when they’re under pressure, when they’re tired, and when they’re not alert. If this happens, correct it and apologize immediately. As such, that person will not discover the truth from others. This is also a way to help you minimize the consequences of what you have just caused.

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Show loyalty. Loyalty is being ready to protect others or be with them. This manifests in their presence, and more importantly, in their absence.

Trust becomes strong when someone feels they already have your loyalty. You can build trust by putting the person’s interests or your relationship with them above your own. ^{[14] X Simpson Research Source , JA (2007). Psychical foundations of trust. Current directions in mentalpogical science, 16(5), 264-268.}
For example, you can build trust with your co-workers by staying behind after work to help with a project, even if you don’t benefit.

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Emotional control. You can earn respect and admiration from others if you know how to control your emotions. It’s hard to trust someone who is unpredictable or changeable.

A Fortune magazine study of 500 executives found that people who regulate and express their emotions appropriately are more likely to be trusted than those who cannot control their emotions. ^{[15] X Research Source Gpeman, D. (1998). Working with emotional intelligence. Bantam.}
For example, try not to get mad at other people when they make small mistakes, as this can cause them to lose trust in you.
If you feel you can’t control your emotions, be aware of their signs. Try to reduce it by relaxing your fists, relaxing your jaw muscles, and releasing muscle tension.
Focusing on breathing can help control emotions. Try to focus your attention on the sensation of breathing. You don’t need to think about the breath or try to change the breath, just experience the sensation. If you find yourself losing focus, slowly and gently redirect your thoughts back to breathing. ^{[16] X Research Sources Arch, J. & Craske, M., (2006). Mechanisms of mindfulness: Emotion regulation fplowing a focused breathing induction. Behavior Research and Therapy, 44, 1849–1858.}
If you learn to control your emotions, people will think they can predict your actions. They think you are emotionally trustworthy and continue to build trust.

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Avoid abusive behavior. Some behaviors will seriously damage trust: ^{[17] X Research Sources Shepard, MF, & Campbell, JA (1992). The abusive behavior inventory A measure of mentalpogical and physical abuse. Journal of Interpersonal Vipence, 7(3), 291-305.}

Humiliating or belittling the other party
Isolate yourself
Threatening or physically harming others
Absolutely avoid abusive behavior. If you make a mistake or treat someone inappropriately, apologize immediately. Promise to change and take that promise seriously.

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Decisive communication. Instead of engaging in abusive or angry behavior, try to adopt an assertive communication style, which means speaking directly and emphasizing individual needs while respecting the needs and opinions of others. other. ^{[18] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Assertive communication is saying “no” when you don’t want to do something, and also involves emotional control. ^{[19] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}
This means openly sharing personal feelings and opinions without appearing belittling or bullying.
For example, imagine that your neighbor plays the music too loud. The aggressive solution is to go to his house and shout “Turn off the radio or I’ll call the police!” The decisive approach is to calmly knock on the door and say, “It’s late, I need to go to sleep. Can you turn the music down?” This approach makes the neighbor understand that he is causing trouble without threatening or insulting.

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Commit to changing behavior when appropriate. If you cheated on someone or lost trust, promise to change your behavior in the future and commit to it. Remember that you must always honor that promise to earn trust.

Only empty promises cannot regain trust in a short time. ^{[20] X Research Sources Schweitzer, ME, Hershey, JC, & Bradlow, ET (2006). Promises and lies: Restoring vipated trust. Organizational behavior and human decision processes, 101(1), 1-19.}
Apologizing alone is not effective in creating lasting trust. ^{[21] X Research Sources Schweitzer, ME, Hershey, JC, & Bradlow, ET (2006). Promises and lies: Restoring vipated trust. Organizational behavior and human decision processes, 101(1), 1-19.}

Advice

Self-deception is still lying. You may need to convince yourself that you did or told the truth. But an objective observer might think otherwise. Seeing reality the way you want it to don’t justify actions or words. If others feel that your words or actions are unreliable, you will lose their trust.
Stop lying. If you lied once, you have to remember your story, which means you have to lie again. If you keep lying, people will start to notice.
If you’re trying to build trust in a business or organization that handles sensitive information, consider maintaining confidentiality.

Warning

Stealth actions destroy trust. If you’re doing this for any reason, ask yourself what you want by doing so. Furthermore, ask yourself if you really want to act like that. Certainly not. If you’ve convinced yourself this is the only way to reach others, it’s time to practice your communication skills.
In some cases, when you lose the trust of others, you can experience mental confusion, inability to control anger, and many other problems. At this point, you need to see a specialist for help.

Steps