How to Build Relationships with Autistic People

Maybe you know someone with autism, and want to get to know that person to become friends. This is quite difficult because autism (including Asperger’s high functioning disorder syndrome and PDD-NOS atypical autism) has been classified by disparate levels of social skills and consciousness. communicate. Even though people with autism have had different life experiences from yours, there are a few ways you can build a relationship with them. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Table of Contents

Learn about Autism

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Recognize the psychological challenges that people with autism face. To connect with someone, you need to know where that person comes from, so it can be helpful to learn about the challenges people with autism face. Maybe they’re having a hard time interpreting your feelings, or even though they understand your feelings, they’re not sure why you feel the way you do. Aside from this ambiguity, they assume that sensory problems and introversion are normal, so socializing can be exhausting. Even so, the thought of connecting with you is still very important to them. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to source} .

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Learn the social challenge. You may find that your friends tend to say or do something that is socially inappropriate at times, for example they say things that most people want to hide, they get too close to someone, or they interrupt in line. ^{[3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source} This is because people with autism find it difficult to understand social norms.

Often you can explain a social norm to them or tell them that their actions upset you. For example, “This is not the end of the line, so we shouldn’t interrupt here. I see the end of the line is over there.” People with autism often have a strong sense of fairness, so when you explain to them a social norm that corresponds to the value of fairness, they are likely to listen. ^{[4] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}
Believe they mean well. People with autism often don’t mean to offend anyone. They don’t want to hurt you or anyone else; They just don’t know how to react.

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Learn about the behavior of people with autism. They often tend to perform many unusual behaviors. For example, people with autism often ^{[5] X Research Source} :

Repeat the words of others. This condition is called ‘echpalia’ (mechanical repetition of words spoken by others).
Talk about a single topic for a long time, without realizing that the other person is no longer interested in listening.
Speak honestly, and sometimes too bluntly.
Suddenly interjecting sentences that seem unrelated to the current conversation, such as pointing at a beautiful flower.
Do not react when you call their name.

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Understand the importance of habits. For people with autism, routines are an important part of their lives. Therefore, you can create a better relationship with people with autism by always keeping in mind that habits are important to them; You can help them by making sure their day routine stays true. ^{[6] X Research Source}

If you’ve become part of someone’s routine and then you leave them, it’s really heartbreaking.
Try to keep their outlook on life in mind as you interact with them. Remember that even if you simply don’t appreciate a routine, and don’t care much about it going astray, it’s extremely important to them that you don’t follow their routine. important.

Be Good With Autistic People

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Accept who they are and their flaws. On the one hand, not acknowledging them can make you see them as “an autistic friend,” create stereotypes about them, or treat them like a child. On the other hand, refusing to acknowledge their flaws and fail to meet their needs will not help your relationship. It’s a good idea to balance things out by taking their differences as a matter of course, and generally nothing to behold.

Do not tell others that this friend has autism unless you have their permission.
If they are in need of help, help them unconditionally. They will be surprised by your kindness, and will also appreciate your understanding. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Be clear about how you feel and what you want to do. People with autism often don’t understand cues or cues, so it’s best to express your feelings directly. ^{[11] X Research Resources} This helps clear up any ambiguity between the two of you, and this way if the autistic person upsets you, they have a chance to make up and learn from it.

“I’ve had a really bad day at work, and I need some quiet time right now. We should talk later.”
“Inviting Mr. Hung to go out really gave me a hard time, and I was very surprised when he agreed! I’m looking forward to the date on Friday. Can you advise me what to wear? ”

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Accept all their vices and quirks, don’t try to change them. People with autism tend to move, talk, and interact with others in a rather odd way. ^{[12] X Research Source} If this oddity holds true for your autistic friend, remember it’s part of who they are, and if you want to be friends, you need to accept them all. those quirks.

If something is off limits (for example, they play with your hair to the point of annoying you), or something bothers you, you can always explain it to them. What they do makes you feel.
If they make it clear that they want to look less weird than the average person, you can choose to subtly point out to them the times when they act weird. With clear, concise explanations, and without condescending, you can use this to tell a novice driver how to apply for a freeway lane.

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Try to introduce your autistic friend to other friends. If a person with autism is looking to make friends, they will be interested in group activities. Whether their autistic traits manifest themselves clearly or vaguely in a social context, you’ll be surprised at how much other friends accept them! ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Pay attention to signs of stress, and intervene to help them avoid feeling down or down. If people with autism are under undue pressure, they will eventually choose to scream, cry, or lose the ability to speak. Autistic people may not recognize signs of stress on their own, so if you find them agitated, advise them to take some time off.

Help them to a peaceful, quiet place, with less noise and traffic.
Limit their exposure to crowds and strangers. ^{[14] X Research Source}
Ask permission before you touch them. For example, “I want to take your hand and lead you out”. Don’t startle or panic them.
Avoid criticizing their behavior. They can’t control themselves well right now, and you shouldn’t put extra pressure on them. If you feel overwhelmed, then you should leave.
Ask them if they want a tight hug. Sometimes this is very helpful.
Then let them rest, relax for a while. Maybe they need time with you, or want to be alone.

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Respect their free will and space, and encourage others to follow suit. The general rule of respect that applies to both normal people and people with autism is: don’t grab their hands/arms/body without permission, don’t steal a toy or something they’re holding play, and think before you speak or act. Some people, including adults, feel that people with disabilities do not need to be treated like normal people.

If you see someone behaving rudely or looking down on someone with autism, please speak up.
Encourage your autistic friend to recognize when they are being abused, and stand up for themselves. This is quite difficult for people with autism, especially those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of on-demand therapy or some experience. terrible.

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Ask how you can respond and help them. Understand how to connect with people with autism by talking to them about how it feels to be such aloof. They may want to share useful information with you to help strengthen their relationship with you. ^{[15] X Research Source}

A question as broad as “What are the manifestations of autism?” It’s too vague, and people with autism often won’t be able to describe something so complex in words. Some specific questions like “What does it feel like to be overwhelmed?” or “How can I help you when you’re stressed?” will usually have a more realistic answer.
Make sure you ask that in a quiet place when you’re alone so you don’t draw too much attention to them. Make sure you speak clearly and honestly, so that the autistic person doesn’t misunderstand or think you’re teasing them.

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Avoid adding pressure when autistic people show ‘stims’. Self-stimulating behavior helps people with autism stay calm and in control of their emotions and feelings. For example, if they start giggling and clapping when they see you, it means they really like you. Try to keep in mind that self-stimulating behavior is often beneficial for people with autism, so unless their behavior is extremely disruptive or intrusive in your personal space, learn to accept it. Try taking a few deep breaths if you find yourself annoyed with their behavior. Self-stimulating behavior usually includes: ^{[16] X Research Sources}

Play with objects.
Swinging, swinging.
Clap hands and fiddle with hands.
Jump up and down.
Head banging.
Screechy.
Repeatedly feeling the texture of something, such as hair.

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Make it clear that you accept them. People with autism are frequently criticized by family members, friends, therapists, bullies, and even strangers because they act or look different. This makes their life difficult. Communicate unconditional acceptance through your words and actions. Remind them that there’s no shame in being different, and that you like them simply for who they are.

Advice

Regular communication is recommended via email, text message, or online chat (IM – Instant Messaging). Some people with autism find indirect communication easier than face-to-face communication.
Avoid being verbose or unnecessarily drawing attention to the differences of the autistic person in the group setting. Don’t make yourself a victim of prying eyes or claim that you’re an angel by being friends with an autistic person. Autistic people know that they are different, and will feel insecure or resentful when you bluntly point out their flaws.
Remember that every person with autism is different. There is no one method that works for everyone, and you will naturally learn the best way to interact with them as you get to know them.
The friend with autism may need more time to “socialize,” or they may not want to come out of their shell at all. That’s just normal. Let them live in their own space.
Be respectful and kind to people with autism just like you would treat other people.
See autism as a cultural difference, rather than a handicap. Autistic people’s experiences can resemble “culture shock,” or attempts to interact with people from a different culture, leading to ambiguity and lack of social skills.
Always keep in mind the danger of prejudiced thinking; while educational and medical settings often use people-first language (“autistic people”) to separate autism from people, the autistic community favors identity-first language (“autistic people”) people with autism”) to designate autism as an integral part of their body. If you’re hesitant, ask the person you’re trying to build a relationship with as to which method they prefer.

Warning

Never call someone with autism a burden, or say their brain is damaged or unusable. Many people with autism have grown up hearing bad words, and hearing such insults from friends can really hurt their self-esteem.
People with autism should not be mocked, even joking. Many people with autism have experienced bad teasing before, and as a result, they may have difficulty understanding your intentions.
- People with autism tend to take things literally.

Steps

Learn about Autism

Be Good With Autistic People

Advice

Warning

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