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This article was co-written by Arda Ozdemir, MA. Arda Ozdemir is an executive coach and founder of Rise 2 Realize, a Palo Alto, California nonprofit that provides a hands-on road map towards developing one’s full potential. in life and career. Arda is an expert in the application of Reiki, the art of emotional release, and a HeartMath coach and mentor.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 21,838 times.
Have you heard more than one person say that you are selfish? If you tend to think that you are the center of the universe, always insisting on getting your own way, and hate sharing or helping others, then chances are you have some kind of selfishness problem. . While becoming less selfish won’t happen overnight, there are always a few things you can do to become a giver, not just a taker.
Steps
Strengthen Self-Knowledge
- Being part of a group will make it difficult for you to put your own needs above the needs of others because on the surface you will be criticized for being selfish, which negatively affects the group as a whole. .
- Ask about the situation of others. Instead of making assumptions or not paying attention to someone whose actions cause you to disagree, ask them what’s going on in life. Be curious and interested in the person and check to see if you can understand their point of view on what’s going on.
- Visualize reasons to sympathize with a person’s behavior. If you are in line behind an elderly woman and she is rather slow to pay the bill, release criticism and anger. It is possible that she spends most of the day alone, and she is chatting with the staff a little longer because she rarely sees anyone else. It doesn’t matter if this is the real reason she’s holding the line; The important thing is that this helps you empathize with others.
- Remember that everyone’s needs, hopes, and desires are equally important.
- If your crush really wants to watch their favorite team play basketball in a rematch (after a draw) but you want to go to the movies, then go for it this time.
- Try doing a good deed helping a friend or even a stranger, but don’t expect anything in return. A purely unselfish act of kindness done when a reward or praise is not expected. [4] X Research Sources
- When you’re trying to solve a problem, think about who wants more. If you and your girlfriend are choosing a movie to watch, and she has long wanted to see a certain movie, while you are indifferent to another choice, then you should do it. .
- If you realize you don’t feel too sure about your position, then come to an agreement that pleases the other person. So next time you really want something, then it will be your turn. Things go bad when you choose to go your own way and argue.
- Before you come to a compromise, make sure everyone has time to express their views. This can help you get a more stable, balanced perspective before making a decision.
- Get in the habit of sharing something that you once wanted so badly to possess. This will help you show others how important they are to you and will make it easier for you to give. This will change your self-concept from a selfish person to a generous, unselfish person.
- Make it a goal to volunteer at least once a week, and realize how much less selfish you feel.
Become a Better Friend
- Do not interrupt others.
- After your friend has spoken, give a meaningful response by mentioning some of the points that were raised in the conversation to show that you were really listening.
- If your friends are having problems, don’t rush to compare their problems with your own, which you consider “the worse way”. Look at all issues in their own right and give appropriate advice where possible and don’t consider them all relevant to you. You could say, “I was in a similar situation, and that’s what helped me. Do you think this will work for you too?”
- Once you get into the habit of doing this, you may find that it makes you happy to make someone you care about happy.
- You can also take turns. Friends can choose what to do this week and then the next week you decide.
- Tell your friend not to bring anything but drinks. You will be the one doing everything that night.
- If you find that you really enjoy cooking for others, you could even start baking cookies or cooking casseroles and bring them to your friend’s house for the evening.
- Giving helpful advice to a friend can also help you become more aware of what they really need instead of what you need.
- If your friends are talking about a certain problem and you have experienced the same problem, it is also good to briefly share about yourself to say you have been through a similar thing as long as the purpose of the sharing is to let the other person understand that you are willing to empathize with them. After mentioning this, quickly shift the focus back to them so they can continue the conversation.
- Showing concern for others is a great way to become less selfish.
- Don’t make everything feel superficial. You should check on your partner because they are your friends and because you care about them.
- And sometimes, you can help a friend even when they really don’t need anything, simply because you’re feeling good or have seen something that reminds you of them.
Show Gratitude
- The gift doesn’t have to be brand new or luxurious. It could be a souvenir, a used book, or a piece of jewelry. It is important that you show your friends that you are grateful for them; The value of the gift doesn’t matter much.
- Getting into the habit of giving away things you love can help you become less selfish, and less attached to everything you own.
- Being in nature can also help you put things into perspective. You’ll have a more rigorous time to see your own little perspective on life as everything that matters to you standing at the foot of a mighty waterfall.
- Bought a set of 10 thank you cards. Make a goal to use up all those cards for the year.
Advice
- Be happy that you have the ability to help those less fortunate than yourself. Think of them and be grateful for everything you have.
- Imagine what it would be like when you were starving and didn’t know what to eat tomorrow. Go on the journey without food or drink except water for at least 3 days, then go to the local food storage and donate the box to charity. And then looking at your most expensive piece of clothing, is it really more valuable than food or a hope of escape from despair and hunger?
Warning
- Be careful not to go too far in the other direction or you will be taken advantage of by others. You should be strong and self-protective, but also be flexible and willing to share your time, resources, and love with certain people you consider good and trustworthy.
This article was co-written by Arda Ozdemir, MA. Arda Ozdemir is an executive coach and founder of Rise 2 Realize, a Palo Alto, California nonprofit that provides a hands-on road map towards developing one’s full potential. in life and career. Arda is an expert in the application of Reiki, the art of emotional release, and a HeartMath coach and mentor.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 21,838 times.
Have you heard more than one person say that you are selfish? If you tend to think that you are the center of the universe, always insisting on getting your own way, and hate sharing or helping others, then chances are you have some kind of selfishness problem. . While becoming less selfish won’t happen overnight, there are always a few things you can do to become a giver, not just a taker.
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