How to Become Emotionally Independent

Sometimes it’s healthy to separate from emotional pain if it’s too stressful or overwhelming, if it becomes dangerous (possibly leading to self-harm, or dangerous drug use), if time the wrong score (when you are at work or school or in an unsafe place), or if you feel uncomfortable expressing your feelings in the current situation (such as being around certain individuals that you don’t trust to be able to share your feelings with them). To be able to detach from intense emotions in a healthy way, it helps if you learn how to deal with difficult emotions, take care of yourself and your own needs, and adopt an emotionally independent approach. successful touch.

Table of Contents

Facing Emotions

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Discover the cause of your intense emotional response. To better isolate yourself, you should be aware of the reason for the strong reaction. There are 3 reasons that you might find it emotional:

you are very sensitive
a situation that recalls a traumatic event in the past
you are feeling out of control of the situation, which can trigger anger and frustration.

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Understand the difference between healthy separation and unhealthy separation. It’s natural and normal to sometimes want to be independent of an emotion, especially when that emotion is so traumatic or overwhelming that it can’t be fully dealt with at this time. However, excessive emotional separation from others has been linked to psychopathy, where individuals commit crimes against others without remorse. ^{[1] X Research Sources} Excessive emotional disconnection can also result from experiencing trauma.

If you want to separate from time to time because of emotional stress, that’s completely healthy. We may not always be ready to deal with intense emotions. However, if you find yourself constantly withdrawing from others or becoming emotionally numb (not feeling emotions), you may suffer from more serious psychological anxiety.
Some signs that you may need therapy or treatment include: social isolation, social withdrawal, extreme fear of rejection, repetitive depression or anxiety, difficulty complete work (school or work assignments), and have frequent social conflicts or fights with others.

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Accept the emotional state. Paradoxically, if we accept that our emotions are normal and valid, we may feel better if we separate from them when we need a break. ^{[2] X Source of Research}^{[3] X Source of Research} Sometimes, we may want to dismiss our emotions because they make us uncomfortable. However, these emotions provide us with valuable information about our circumstances and outlook on life. ^{[4] X Sources of Research} Similar to physical pain, negative feelings (fear, anger, sadness, anxiety, stress) are like the brain’s way of alerting you to a problem. what.

The next time you have an unpleasant emotion, such as anger, tell yourself, “I’m angry because _____. This anger gives me a lot of useful information about how I react to the situation and will help me decide how to handle it. It’s normal to get angry.” The anger itself is not the problem, the problem is what you do with the anger you are feeling. You can choose to ignore it or stamp it out, but this could result in it coming back even more severely the next time.
If you accept your feelings and find healthy ways to handle them, they won’t affect you, and you can get out of them when you need to.
In the meantime, try shifting focus ^{[5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} and take deep breaths to trigger your body’s calming response. The first step is the cognitive process associated with anxiety reduction, and the second step is the action a person can take to initiate the body’s calming response.
You can also handle it by taking a nap, doing a project, going for a walk, getting a massage, taking your pet out to play, drinking tea, listening to music, or even kissing your partner ^{[6] X Research Source} .

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Express your feelings in a safe place. Giving yourself space to understand emotions in a safe way is essential to being able to become independent when you want to. Set a time each day to explore your inner feelings.

Practice crying alone. Crying in front of people who often annoy you will make them mock you even more or continue to annoy you. Taking deep breaths and thinking about things other than the situation at hand can prevent you from making the most of the situation and ultimately stop you from crying. However, it is not healthy for you to keep sadness in your heart. Try to wait until the situation is over and wait for the other person to leave the room before starting to cry.

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Write down your feelings and thoughts. ^{[7] X Research Sources} . Similar to stopping yourself from crying, it’s not good to keep anger, ambiguity, or negative emotions inside. Writing your feelings and thoughts on paper or on a computer will help you process and deal with difficult emotions so you can live independently when you want to.

Write down how you feel in a private diary.
To avoid sinking into negative thoughts, try identifying different ways of thinking or seeing the situation. For example, if you have a negative thought, “He’s a jerk!” You could write, “However, ahh I may have had a hard life and live like that to deal with anger or sadness”. A little empathy can help you deal with difficult people and situations in the long run.

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Distract yourself. Think or do something else ^{[8] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source} . Don’t just ignore the feeling or the situation. If you try to stop thinking about something, you may end up just thinking about it more. This is known as the white-bear phenomenon (a psychological problem in which a person tries not to think about something but actually tends to visualize it), where objects in a research is asked not to think about polar bears; and of course they all think about it. ^{[9] X Research Sources} Instead of focusing on avoiding thinking about what is bringing you down, try to think about something else.

Try some distractions like: gardening, playing video games, watching movies, reading newspapers, playing an instrument, painting, sketching, cooking, or chatting with friends. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Physical movement. Walk, bike or any other cardio activity. Aerobic exercise has been shown to boost the chemical endorphins and will put you in a better position to monitor and change your responses to emotional predators. ^{[11] X Research Sources} Exercise can be either a distraction or a mind-body therapy.

Consider some physical activity: hiking, rowing, kayaking, gardening, cleaning, jumping rope, boxing, yoga, Pilates (a combination of 1 series of controlled exercises to strengthen muscles and improve health), do Zumba (combination of high-energy-burning cardio exercises and lively Latin rhythms that create the atmosphere) fun), hands-on stomach exercises, hands-free sit-ups, sports, running, and walking.

Focus on yourself

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Self reflection. A healthy way to become emotionally independent is to focus on observing yourself as an outsider, with an objective stance. ^{[12] X Source of Research} Sometimes this is called a “third eye”, where you gain an extra perspective of yourself as an outsider.

When you’re lonely, you just need to keep track of your feelings and thoughts. Ask yourself, “How am I feeling today? What am I thinking about?”
You can also continue to observe yourself in social situations. Pay attention to what you say, do, how you act, and the feelings you show.

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Acknowledge yourself. Self-acceptance is an important factor in learning to separate yourself emotionally. Recognition also means confirming that what you think or feel is reasonable.

You can say something positive to yourself, for example, “I feel like it’s normal and natural. Even if I don’t want to show it, I’m allowed to feel this way.”

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Set Emotional Boundaries Creating emotional boundaries is about putting your needs first by setting limits on what you will forgive others for. If possible, stop contacting individuals who irritate or frustrate you, such as a certain coworker or neighbor.

Try setting boundaries by telling people directly how you feel, and what you want them to do. For example, if your brother pisses you off, you might say, “I’m so mad that you pissed me off like that. Can you please stop going?” You may also need to identify the consequences of breaking boundaries like, “If you don’t stop, I won’t keep playing with you.” This allows you to calmly discuss your anger without exploding anger.

Using separate methods

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Use the balance between emotions and reason (Wise Mind). According to Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a prominent therapy that teaches us to tolerate pain, that we are emotional and rational. Wise Mind is a combination of emotions and rational thinking. The key to not being dependent or detached from emotional pain for a while is using Wise Mind – the perfect balance between reason and emotion in the brain. Instead of just reacting emotionally, make an effort to think rationally about the situation. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Acknowledge your feelings by saying, “Feelings are natural. Even intense emotions pass. I was able to figure out why I had such a strong reaction after I calmed down.”
Ask yourself, “Will this be an issue in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? How will it really affect my life?”
Ask yourself if your thoughts are fact or fiction. What is an overview? ^{[14] X Research Source}

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Maintain emotional separation through mindfulness. Creating emotional distance is helpful if you need to empathize with someone, but don’t want to be overwhelmed or influenced by the other person’s feelings. ^{[15] X Research Sources} Mindfulness can be an effective way to gain empathy, including a degree of separation that reduces the possibility of being overwhelmed by emotions from others.

Try eating a piece of food that grabs your attention (raisins, candy, apples, etc.). ^{[16] X Trusted Source Greater Good in Action Go to source} First focus on what it looks like, its color and shape. Then notice how it feels in your hand, texture, and temperature. Finally, eat the piece of food slowly and pay attention to what it tastes like, and how it feels when you eat it. Really focused on this experience.
Walk mindfulness. Try walking for 20 minutes or so. Just focus on walking, and what’s happening around you. How do you feel the atmosphere? Is it hot, cold, windy, or quiet? What sound do you hear? Birds chirping, people talking, or car horns going off? How does it feel to move your body? What do you see? Trees fluttering in the wind, or animals walking around? ^{[17] X Trusted Source Greater Good in Action Go to Source}
Focus back on the present moment instead of getting stuck in your own thoughts and feelings or the personal reactions of others. Mindfulness requires focus on the present moment, awareness of your own reactions, acceptance and letting go of traumatic thoughts and emotions, and a view of thoughts as ideas rather than thoughts. Real. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

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Take a deep breath ^{[19] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to source} . If you are stressed, your body will naturally tense up and make you spin with thoughts. Breathe deeply and slowly to avoid a lack of oxygen, which can make the problem worse. ^{[20] X Research Source}

Put yourself in a comfortable position and practice taking a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Really focus on the breath and feel the body as you inhale and exhale. Make sure you are breathing from your diaphragm; This means that you should feel your abdomen rising and falling as you breathe. It’s like the feeling that you fill a balloon and release it every time you take a breath. Practice like this for at least 5 minutes.

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Use an exercise that keeps mind and body connected: Grounding. Grounding is the perfect therapy for emotional independence because it involves a special method for separating yourself from emotional pain. ^{[21] X Research Source}

Try the following Grounding method: count to 100 in your head, count imaginary sheep, count the number of objects in the room, think of the names of all the provinces in the country, and list all the colors you can think of arrive. Try anything rational and non-emotional that can clear your mind of a difficult situation.

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Maintain the habit. Eventually, your mind will learn to let go of certain things, and you will naturally begin to think about many things that are logical and not emotionally dependent. The more you practice, the more detached you will become from your grief.

Steps

Facing Emotions

Focus on yourself

Using separate methods

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