You are viewing the article How to beat a narcissist: 16 psychology-based tips for you at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Jay Reid, LPCC. Jay Reid is a consultant clinical psychologist (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA. He specializes in helping patients whose parents or partners are narcissistic. Treatment focuses on helping patients recognize and deal with self-deprecating thoughts caused by narcissist abuse. Jay holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Pennsylvania State University.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Are you ready to take your power back from your narcissist? Narcissists are always arrogant, self-centered and manipulate others with many tricks, so they can’t understand your perspective. Then how to disable them? We’ll help you beat a narcissist at their own game. This article will guide you through everything you need to do to win over your narcissist.
Steps
Limit contact or no contact if possible
- If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, plan an exit before you leave. You have to plan in advance where you will be and don’t let them know that you’re leaving them until you’re ready to go so they can’t stop you.
- If the narcissist is your father, mother or a friend, you can stop receiving their calls or texts. If you don’t choose this option, you can decide to only talk to them once a week or once a month.
- If you have a coworker who is narcissistic, limit your interactions with them to work.
Stay calm when they try to piss you off
- You can also mentally recite positive affirmations, such as “I am calm.” “I am at peace,” or “The whole world is on my side.”
- You can also imagine the narcissist wearing a ridiculous outfit so they can laugh at the horrible things they say to you.
Use the word “we” to pull them towards you
- Beat them in an argument with statements like, “Looks like we’re off topic. Let’s change the subject,” or “We both care a lot about that. Maybe we should move on to something else.”
- Convince them to do something by saying things like “We need to finish this report today,” or “We have a mess to clean up.”
Neutralize them with compliments
- “You are so smart!”
- “You always know what to say.”
- “You did a great job today.”
Say something nice before criticizing them
- When at work, you might say something like, “You’re the best analyst here. The factual section of your report does a great job, but we would like more details to make it more complete.”
- If your narcissist is your partner, you can say something like, “I love the wall paint you did in the living room. I see you also put a lot of effort into the bathroom, but I think the border needs an extra coat of paint.”
- If the narcissist is someone close to you, you could say, “You were so kind to help me babysit. Last time the kids enjoyed watching movies with me, but this time don’t let the kids eat a second packet of candy!”
Give them a sense of accomplishment to reduce drama
- If your partner is a narcissist, emphasizing shared accomplishments will keep both of you satisfied. You can say “We did it,” or “I’m glad we did so well.”
- If the narcissist is a relative, don’t tell them about your accomplishments or good news. Let them know through others.
- With a narcissistic co-worker, don’t brag about getting a promotion, being given new assignments, or talking about your accomplishments.
- If they start to want to come off as better than you, just say something like “Sounds good,” or “Great.” Often they will feel satisfied enough with such recognition and will be content to move on to other topics.
Believe in yourself and don’t be fooled by their lies
- When they start using tricks to trick you, respond to them with something like “I understand your point,” or “I respect your opinion.” Often these responses silence them.
Ignore them instead of exposing their behavior
- At work, you may want to report to your boss about a narcissistic co-worker who lied or insulted you, but they will find a way to blame you and prolong the fuss. Don’t let them drag you into their playbook.
- Similarly, your narcissistic relative may spread rumors to sow discord between you and others. If you confront them, they will only deny and cause more conflict.
- Your narcissist partner may criticize your cooking to make you feel worthless. They will only bring you down more if you argue with them, but if you just shrug and ignore them, they will lose interest.
End an argument with a ambivalent reaction
- At work, you can say “I hear you,” or “I see what you mean.”
- If you’re talking to a spouse or relative, you can say “Yeah,” “Is that so,” or “Nice.”
Ask about their concerns to change the subject
- “You are an expert on the space program. Can you explain to me about the mission to Mars and when it will be possible for humans?”
- “You seem to know a lot about history. Can you tell me about your favorite era?”
- “I heard that you love to write. What topics do you usually write about?
- “I was very impressed with your recent presentation. Can you tell me more about that topic?”
Focus on the future to avoid provoking them
- Suppose that a colleague once competed with you, then from now on you should focus on how to get your effort recognized.
- Your narcissist partner may be critical of you, but if you point it out, they’ll be even more aggressive. You’re better off redirecting them with a “we” tactic or a double reaction.
- Maybe you have a relative who has hurt you badly. Keeping your distance from them and focusing on other relationships will help you live a much happier life instead of trying to confront them.
- If you bring this up, they will try to trick you into thinking it never happened. Another possibility is that they will try to play the victim. It’s not worth repeating the same old things.
Limit conversations with narcissists so they have nothing to gossip about
- The narcissist may use information about your past to tarnish your image. They might say, “Last year Anh was late, so maybe this year will be the same. I have to be the project manager.”
- They can also spread rumors about you, sometimes even twisting the truth. They might say, “Hai told me he hates the gift you gave him” or “Thao’s family said Tet this year won’t come. Maybe they don’t like the food you cook.”
Draw boundaries with them to protect yourself
- “If you yell at me or scold me, I’ll walk out and stop talking.”
- “Do not reveal your personal information to anyone. Otherwise, I will not share anything with you anymore.”
- “I won’t explain anything. If you keep forcing me, I’ll go.”
- “I’ll only comfort you and give you advice on this once.”
- “I won’t listen to gossip.”
Take care of your own needs because you won’t be able to count on them
- If your parent was a narcissist, it may be difficult for you to focus on your own needs because you are used to meeting their needs. Fortunately, you can learn to focus on yourself, and therapy can help.
Build a support system to keep you strong
- If a loved one is a narcissist, spend more time with other people in your home or people you consider family.
- If you work next to a narcissistic co-worker, call or text a friend when there are days when the other coworker is particularly upset.
- If you have a narcissist friend, make sure to have other friends by your side when needed.
Resist attempts to lure you back into a close relationship with them
- List ways in which their narcissism has hurt you. As they start to bombard you with love, revisit this list to remind yourself why it’s important to stay away from this person.
Advice
- When you’re dealing with a narcissist, don’t mind anything they say or do. This has nothing to do with you – that’s their nature.
This article was co-written by Jay Reid, LPCC. Jay Reid is a consultant clinical psychologist (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA. He specializes in helping patients whose parents or partners are narcissistic. Treatment focuses on helping patients recognize and deal with self-deprecating thoughts caused by narcissist abuse. Jay holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and a master’s degree in clinical psychology from Pennsylvania State University.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Are you ready to take your power back from your narcissist? Narcissists are always arrogant, self-centered and manipulate others with many tricks, so they can’t understand your perspective. Then how to disable them? We’ll help you beat a narcissist at their own game. This article will guide you through everything you need to do to win over your narcissist.
Thank you for reading this post How to beat a narcissist: 16 psychology-based tips for you at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: