How to be true to yourself

“Standard” has become a buzzword. Everything from jeans to french fries to historic tours is labeled “original”, meaning the real thing. However, there are still things hidden behind the concept of standard or genuine goods. In the busy, fast-paced world, there is always a lot of pretense, deception and lies; we try to live according to certain patterns and ideas and lose our “self”. However, you can be true to yourself and those around you, a little messy, a little honest and genuine are the things that make you who you are. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Table of Contents

Know Yourself

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Learn the meaning of authenticity. Psychologists define authenticity as the expression of real people in everyday life. It basically means that your true nature is reflected in the things you believe, say, and do every day. People who truly accept themselves and their strengths and weaknesses. They behave in accordance with their own values and avoid doing the wrong thing. The essence of being authentic is being true to yourself. ^{[2] X Research Source}

The first step to living authentically is to decide to be yourself. This must be a conscious decision. You must commit to acting in accordance with who you are, even though this will sometimes be difficult and painful for you. Authenticity requires you to do things that are not common to others. You can understand many unfavorable aspects of yourself, it is important to understand your self-worth to live more openly, honestly and realistically.
Real life is good for mental health. Research shows that people who are authentic feel more satisfied with themselves and are more resilient in the face of personal challenges, and are less likely to engage in self-destructive vices like drinking or other behaviors. other dangers. Real people tend to demonstrate purpose in each of their choices and set goals that are more driven and committed to achieving them. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Cultivate a commitment to greater self-awareness. The key to authenticity is understanding and self-awareness. It is important that you take the time to understand yourself deeply. Real life means living your own life, not living for others. Throughout life, especially in childhood, we take in messages based on what people say and do, and then form belief systems. We conclude those thoughts are our own. The goal of clearer self-awareness helps access these beliefs and values, observing what is yours and what is not as you see them reflected in others. ^{[4] X Research Sources}^{[5] X Research Sources}

The benefit of self-awareness is that once you know your worth, you can decide to take action to make sure everything is in order. This is how you become authentic. For example, if you decide you believe in God, going to church every Sunday is an affirmation of your faith and is important to you. however, if you decide that you don’t believe or are unsure, you can stop going to church for a while until things clear up. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Realizing self-awareness is something you have to pursue constantly, but you can’t master it completely and then stop thinking about it. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Write about yourself. To discover who you really are, acknowledge and list the things that matter and resonate with you. The process of choosing and writing helps you clarify your true worth. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Consider journaling. Journaling helps you to become more aware, in addition to helping you look back and evaluate the past. It also helps you keep track of your habits in life.
If you have a hard time journaling and just “write around” the big issues, you can write reminders, such as “Things I like” or “Who am I now.” Set a 10-minute clock and write about topics during that time period. This exercise helps you focus on what you are trying to discover about yourself. ^{[9] X Research Source}
You can try the fill-in-the-blank exercise, then share it with a friend or keep it to yourself: “If you really knew me you would know this: ___________”. The exercise requires introspection and helps people understand the most important values and elements. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Continually ask questions. Embark on a journey of curiosity and self-centered questions and let go of the views and thoughts of others that dictate your life. Hypothetical questions and/or scenarios can help you think through problems as you develop answers and provide the motivation needed to run your life. You might ask the question: if you didn’t have money, what would you do with your life? If your house burned down, what 3 things would you bring with you? What do you think you need to give up? What separates you from everyone else?

You can ask more direct questions. Try not to think too much, just follow your instincts. For example, are you patient or not? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Are you responsible for your own mistakes? Are you the one who says ‘yes’ or ‘no’? Do you prefer morning or night? ^{[11] X Research Source}
Try to re-examine the ‘iron faith’ from childhood. Immersing yourself in another culture, philosophy, or religion can make you unique, forming decisions about who you really are. ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Autobiographical assessment. Self-awareness means listening to yourself. Think not only about the things you say and do in life, but also with yourself. How do you talk to yourself? What do you think in your head? Is it negative criticism where you lament the things you’ve done and criticize yourself for not being smarter, prettier, kinder, etc.? Or be generous with yourself and try to focus on the positive and get over the mistakes? Assessing how you talk to yourself helps you understand how you really feel about yourself and your life because your inner world is who you really are.

Take a few minutes each day to sit still and listen to your soul’s voice. Try taking a deep breath and tapping into your mind and thoughts. Or you can stand in front of a mirror and “confront” yourself by speaking out loud. Speak out loud the thoughts in your head. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Conduct a personality test. Although each person is unique, psychologists who study personality believe that there are specific personality types that have common characteristics. Knowing your personality type can help you understand more about your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Of all the online or social personality tests, the most famous is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which identifies four psychological categories: extraversion-introversion, sensory – intuition, reason – feeling, principle – flexibility. The test shows the person’s characteristics in each category. ^{[15] X Research Source}
You need to understand that personality tests, while interesting and useful to some extent, can’t tell you exactly who you are. Always keep in mind that some tests have low statistics and reliability. What’s more, you’re not just made up of the 4 elements of a personality test. However, these tests can foster thinking and thinking results.

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Become more aware of how you feel. Feelings and emotions are spontaneous responses to life experiences and provide us with useful information and feedback about ourselves and places in the world. Not everyone pays attention to their thoughts and feelings, but this is a useful exercise because it helps you learn what you like, what you hate, what makes you happy, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, etc. You can think about the physical manifestation of the emotions to become more aware of your feelings. Example: ^{[16] X Research Source}

Feeling nervous can be a sign of anxiety, stress
The feeling of a hot face can be caused by shame or anger
Grinding your teeth or jaw can be a sign when you’re upset, frustrated, or angry

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Do something for yourself. Take a day off and go hiking. Go out to eat alone. Or travel alone. Many people find time alone to be the best way for them to learn about themselves. They know what they can and can’t do, want or don’t want to, and emerge from a temporary solitary experiment feeling stronger and in tune with themselves. For example, you learn that you like to “get lost” among the people in the city and prefer to wander around and discover on your own instead of going on a tour. ^{[17] X Research Source}

In the modern world, wanting to be alone is sometimes seen as strange and unsettling. But moments of aloneness also have a few benefits, it helps you build confidence, realize you don’t need to rely on others, understand the value of personal opinion (when it is opposed to others). people) as well as providing an opportunity to reflect on some recent changes and “reorganize your thoughts” to adjust to the changes in your life. Time alone helps you shape what you really want out of life and gives you a sense of purpose and direction that many of us aspire to. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Always True

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Redefine your self-worth. Remember that being true to yourself is an ever-evolving process. Life changes, values also change. You will be different when you are 30 years old than when you are 15 years old. Over the years, you will experience cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to experiencing stress and discomfort when your thoughts and actions are contradictory. You need to constantly learn about yourself, sort out your heart, and let go of the things that no longer matter in life. True living is the continual process of defining yourself and what you truly are. ^{[19] X Research Source}

Maybe when you are 13 years old, you want to get married and have children by the age of 26 to become a young mother. However, if you are 30 years old and still not married or parent, you need to reevaluate your goals and beliefs. Maybe you decide education and career are top priorities or you just can’t find the right person. Or your beliefs have changed and you don’t want to get married anymore. Reflecting on your life and inner self (inner thoughts and feelings) helps you redefine what you truly believe in and who you are at each stage of your life.
Note that being true to yourself at any age is extremely difficult if you don’t know your basic wants, needs, and values! You have to be willing to see things change and most importantly YOU change over time.

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Cultivate an open mind. Open up and express yourself in terms of new ideas and multi-dimensional views of things. Binary (think good-bad, for example) can get you stuck in a vicious cycle of judgment and limit your ability to be yourself. Accept life as a circle of continuous learning; As your thoughts, ideas, and values change, your inner self and true self also change. ^{[20] X Research Source}

Openness has many different meanings. Read a book or take a class that teaches a subject you don’t understand much or that you already master. This helps you answer questions about the world around you and develop your beliefs.
For example, many college students experience self-transformation during their studies and exposure to new things, when they first live away from home. Learning is a way to broaden your horizons and discover yourself. You have questions about religion, so you decide to take another religion class. Or you want to know about women’s place in the world, so take an introductory class on women’s studies. ^{[21] X Research Source}
Remember that maintaining a curiosity about the world is one way to keep yourself motivated and energized in life.

Be true to others

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Don’t follow the crowd. In many situations, we go with the crowd, imitating the actions of others to fit in. This often happens in high-pressure situations like at a party and you don’t know anyone, or in a meeting where you need to impress. Often our desire for social acceptance is higher than our desire to be true to ourselves. However, this defeats the habit of being real. In the truest sense, real life is living with yourself, saying and doing what you think. ^{[26] X Research Sources}

Pretending to be someone or something just to get along with others will increase the sense of hypocrisy you’re trying to combat. Also, you need to keep in mind that most people have close friends when they are who they are and only succeed when they are loyal to what they want to do. You find satisfaction in the social and professional circle of doing what’s right for you, not for those around you.
Pressure is a real and dangerous phenomenon. Remember that many people harm themselves and others in many ways (from smoking, bullying to genocide) simply because they care about other people’s opinions and feel their reputation is damaged if they don’t. do. Don’t do anything you don’t want to. Remember that at the end of the day, only you live for yourself. Listen to and follow the call of your soul.

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Avoid being around negative individuals. Harmful individuals are those who pretend to be “friends” but pressure you to do something you don’t want (like drinking, teasing others, quitting your job) or make you feel guilty or ashamed of yourself close.

For example, if your friend teases you for wearing black all day or not dressing as girly, this is not good for you. That friend should make you feel positive about yourself and help you improve yourself instead of teasing you.

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Be willing to say ‘no’ – and sometimes ‘yes’ – to others. When you don’t want to do what others force you to because it challenges your values, you must be willing to speak up for your beliefs. We all have an instinctive urge to please others, so have the courage to ‘reject’ them. Although you may feel uncomfortable or nervous at first saying ‘no’, you will be fine just being yourself.

At the same time, you should say ‘yes’ when people invite you to experience new, unexpected things. You need to be brave because we are all afraid of disappointing others. For example, your friend invites you to eat Ethiopian or go kayaking for the weekend – what are you waiting for to say no! Being true to yourself means trying new things and learning about yourself in so many ways, even if you experience total failure. To be human is to fail. ^{[27] X Research Source}

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Understand that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Everyone wants to be recognized by others. We want people to be proud and connected with us. But you don’t have to prove anything, you don’t need to show people or the world that you are a good person or do good deeds. Similarly, you don’t need to hide mistakes. You know what, if you’re late, someone else must have been late too. Being true to yourself is not just about accepting your own strengths and weaknesses, but letting others see them. Trust that if you can forgive and accept yourself, so can others.

Constantly pretending to be someone else is exhausting. Be true to the people around you and they will accept you because they can see in common – normal people make mistakes sometimes, but sometimes do great things and have lots of suggestions. For example, you tend to be late but always finish work before leaving the office. ^{[28] X Research Sources}

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Flexible communication. Pay attention to how you communicate with others and what you say. Be honest with your own thoughts and opinions but remember that it is completely possible to live your life without influencing the thoughts and opinions of others, especially in disagreeable situations. Remember that the things we say are only valuable and constructive if we express them thoughtfully. It is best to use the pronoun “I” to focus on your own values and actions instead of focusing on others when using “you”, which is often referred to as an accusation. ^{[29] X Research Sources}

For example, if you are a vegetarian, you can talk about your beliefs without calling a meat-eater a “ruthless killer”. Let them know why YOU are vegetarian instead of condemning them because they eat meat. Being real means being honest with yourself, but it doesn’t mean being disrespectful to others.
Always think before you speak. This is an important rule in everyday life, especially useful in sensitive and difficult situations. ^{[30] X Research Source}

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Share with someone your commitment to being real. Designate someone close to you, someone you love and trust, who values you for who you are. Be it a lover, family member or close friend. Whenever you find yourself in a traumatic situation, such as having a meeting with a difficult boss, ‘request’ social support from your loved ones to boost your confidence and avoid falling into the bogus life trap. . ^{[31] X Research Source}

When feeling anxious, call the designated person and express your feelings. For example, you might confess that you’ve prepared what your boss wants to hear even though it’s not what you want or should say. Sharing with others that you’re on the wrong track can help you become aware of your behavior and make adjustments as necessary to continue to be honest and true to yourself. In most cases, advocates will tell you to “be yourself” in difficult situations. They said no. Listen to that advice. ^{[32] X Research Source}

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Develop the habit of strength. There are many social situations where our nerves harm us, leaving us feeling completely confused. In a situation where you feel uncertain in front of others, such as at a party or wedding where you don’t know anyone or the first day of school or work, cheer yourself up and appear confident. Write down a few keywords you use to define yourself and repeat over and over again – or even shout them out! Or read aloud a poem you love for inspiration. Make a playlist of a few favorite songs to inspire yourself. ^{[33] X Research Sources}

Whatever you do, make sure to be yourself. Just focus on who you are and what is important to you.

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Accept the other person’s true self. Remember to treat others the way you want them to treat you. Each of us has a different nature. It is important not to value or judge anyone. Everyone is different and this is completely normal, in fact this is what makes work so exciting and dynamic! ^{[34] X Research Source}

Differences between people – whether gender, beliefs, professional, physical, etc. – are nothing to worry about. If we accept to honor differences and honesty, others will do the same.

Advice

Don’t pretend to be someone else. Be yourself. Each of us is special in some way, notice the traits that make you who you are and appreciate them. Don

Steps

Know Yourself

Always True

Be true to others

Advice

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