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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 27,367 times.
Are you the type to sit in a corner and wish no one would come and talk to you at parties? If that’s the case, then you need to understand that you’re not the only one having trouble communicating. If you want to confidently socialize, you need to create a confident appearance and practice to improve your social skills. If you are lucky, you will be the one to shine at the next party.
Steps
Create a Confident Look
- By accepting your introverted nature, you can focus on the quality of your social relationships instead of trying to increase the number of relationships you have.
- The way you see yourself as a person is one of the most common factors affecting self-confidence. You think you leave a bad impression on others in social situations, but perhaps you’re just looking for evidence to validate your own beliefs. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, imagine you’re outside and think like this: “I know everyone here thinks I’m boring because I’m boring.” Stop thinking negative thoughts and ask yourself what proves that thinking is true.
- For example, you see a person making an attitude, you think they don’t like what you have to say, or you see someone ending a conversation early and leaving. Ask yourself if there are other reasons. The person making the attitude may feel unwell or uncomfortable with their seat, or they have just seen someone they don’t like come in. People who leave early may be late for a meeting and forget to mention it. Or they are stressed and need to be alone.
- For example, if your friend leaves early, then you can text or call to ask if she’s okay. She will appreciate your sympathy and understanding.
- If you’re trying to start a conversation with someone but they don’t respond, it’s the person’s fault, not you. Forget about it and move on. Someone will want to talk to you, or at least you have enough social skills to interact and converse politely.
Improve Social Skills
- For example, you may be aware that avoiding eye contact or crossing your arms in a social situation is an act that upsets other people.
- Sit with your back straight, chest and shoulders wide. Place your hand on the table or put one arm behind the chair.
- Strong body posture with wide stance, wide shoulders and arms.
- Shake hands firmly to connect with others and help them remember who you are. [9] X Research Source
- Smile to show you’re interested and enjoying yourself. [10] X Research Source
- Make eye contact so the other person knows you’re listening. Most people feel comfortable making eye contact about 60% of the time talking, the rest of the time resting their eyes and avoiding staring at others. [11] X Research Source
- Stay still, avoid fidgeting or swaying so you don’t look nervous.
- Whispering is hard to hear and makes people think that you don’t want to join the conversation or that you’re not interested.
- If you find yourself talking too fast or talking too fast at the beginning, stop and take a breath before continuing.
- If you are nervous, you better focus on yourself, how worried you are, how you respond. However, this can make people feel that you don’t really care what they have to say.
- Avoid interruptive requests because they can make you nervous. Instead, pause to take a break after the other person has finished speaking. [15] X Research Source
Practice Confidence
- You can say hello, introduce yourself or discuss a mutual friend, work location or setting. For example, you could say, “Hi, this is a great place to have a party. Have you tried any of the dishes?”
- For example, the intro could be something like “Hi, I’m Hung, Mai’s friend” and have multiple topics for you to start your story with. Some story ideas: mutual friends, situations where people meet and get to know each other, or ask each other something about themselves such as hobbies, occupations.
- End the story simply by saying, “Nice to meet you and I hope we get a chance to meet again.”
- For example, your friend says, “Hi Mai, this is Hoa. We go to the same school.” You can then let them continue talking or join the story.
- For example, if you enjoy rock climbing, you could join a rock climbing club and chat with people with similar interests. That way, you’ve built up your conversation skills. You can talk about gear, skills, trips you’ve been on, etc.
Advice
- Your body language sends and receives messages the way you sit, restrain yourself, smile and so do others. Body language includes facial expressions as well as body position and tension.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 27,367 times.
Are you the type to sit in a corner and wish no one would come and talk to you at parties? If that’s the case, then you need to understand that you’re not the only one having trouble communicating. If you want to confidently socialize, you need to create a confident appearance and practice to improve your social skills. If you are lucky, you will be the one to shine at the next party.
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