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How to Be Sociable

January 3, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Be Sociable  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 34 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 18,367 times.

Some people are naturally sociable, but others have to practice to be like that. If you want to be friendly and approachable, here are some tactics you can use. To become a “sociable” person, you need to know how to get to know others, spark conversation, and become more confident.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Master the art of conversation
    • Step out into society
    • Communicating with body language
    • Think Positive, Effective and Confident
  • Advice

Steps

Master the art of conversation

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Image titled Be Outgoing Step 14

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Say thank you to people in public. Maybe every day you see someone, but you never see them. To become a sociable person, it is important that you begin to show more gratitude to the people around you. The next time you order coffee or pay at the supermarket, smile at the person helping you. Look them in the eye and say “thank you”. This small gesture will help you feel more comfortable interacting with others, and perhaps it will also bring the other person a little joy into the day. [1] X Research Source

  • Even a small compliment can be helpful, especially in service situations. Keep in mind that the food vendor or coffee shop worker has to serve hundreds of customers a day, many of whom are probably uncaring or rude. Say something like, “Wow, you were so quick, thank you” to show your thanks.
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Eye contact. When you’re at a social event, like a party, for example, try to make eye contact with the people there. When you meet a person’s eyes, you give them a friendly smile. When you see someone staring at you, you go over and introduce yourself. If the person smiles back at you, that’s a good sign.

  • If the person doesn’t respond, you should ignore it. “Sociable” is different from “pressing”. You shouldn’t force a person to talk if they don’t like it.
  • Keep in mind that this doesn’t work in situations where people don’t expect to be approached, for example when traveling on public transport. Knowing when and where to approach others, and when to be alone, is also part of being sociable.
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Introduce yourself. It doesn’t have to be sweet and tactful to be friendly and approachable. You can try introducing yourself by saying you’re new to the area, or by saying a compliment.

  • Find people who sit quietly alone. You may not feel comfortable when you are “shy” suddenly have to become “vivid”. If you’re attending an event, try to find people who seem shy or withdrawn. It is likely that they are just as uncomfortable as you are. Perhaps they will be happy that you take the initiative to get to know them.
  • Friendly, but not pushy. Once you’ve introduced yourself and asked a polite question or two but the other person doesn’t seem interested, you should leave them alone.
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Ask open-ended questions. One of the ways to become informal in conversation is to ask open-ended questions. Such questions cause the other person to respond more than just “yes” or “no”. It’s easier to initiate a conversation if you invite the other person to share their story. [2] X Research Source Once you’ve made eye contact and smiled at someone, start a conversation with questions. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Did you like that book/magazine very much?
  • What activities do you like to do in this area?
  • Where did you find that beautiful t-shirt?
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Say a few words of praise. If you care about others, you need to notice the little things in them that you like or appreciate. You should take these things with compliments, but with sincerity. People can recognize compliments that are not genuine. You can think of sentences like:

  • I have read that book already. You chose that book, it’s really great!
  • I like your shoes. It matches your dress so well!
  • Do you drink coffee with milk? It’s delicious – I drink it every Monday morning.
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Find something that both of you are interested in. Start conversations about what both sides have in common. To find a topic to talk about, you need to explore things that you and the other person both have. If you both work together or have common friends, or have anything in common with which to connect, you’ll find it easier to strike up a conversation. Talking about work, friends, or common interests opens up other topics in conversation.

  • If you are talking to a stranger, you can immediately use the meeting situation as a topic. If you’re in a bookstore, ask them to recommend a good book. If you’re both stuck in a long line, you can make a joke about it.
  • Be careful not to make comments that sound judgmental. For example, you could say you like the person’s hairstyle and ask where they got their hair cut. Or you could say you’re looking to buy a pair of sneakers that look like the one the person is wearing, and ask them where they bought it. Avoid anything that seems offensive, such as comments about the person’s size, skin color, or physical attractiveness.
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Pay attention to the interests of others. If Mr. A insists on talking about thermodynamics and Mr. B insists on talking about Italian coffee, the conversation between the two will go nowhere. One of you needs to recognize the other’s passion. Take the initiative to be that person.

  • As you talk, try to notice when the other person seems cheerful. You can hear and see. Their facial expressions will become more expressive (so will their voices), and you’ll probably see their bodies move, too.
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Chat with colleagues. If you work outside, you probably have a social environment associated with work, just need to put in a little effort. Find a place where people usually congregate, such as a break room or a coworker’s break room.

  • The break room at work is not a place to discuss hot topics like religion or politics. Instead, engage people by commenting on prominent sporting or cultural events. While people often have strong opinions on these topics, it is nonetheless safer in informal conversation.
  • Sociability in the workplace is important. People will perceive you as a friendlier and more optimistic person. [3] X Research Resources Connecting and talking in the workplace also gets you the attention you deserve.
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End while the story is still interesting. Let the other person be curious to learn more. One way to achieve this is to leave the door open for the next exchange. End the conversation tactfully, so that the other person doesn’t think you don’t like talking to them. [4] X Research Sources

  • For example, if you’re talking about dogs, ask them if they know of any good dog parks. If the other person responds enthusiastically, you can invite them to take the dog to the park: “Have you ever been to the dog park near X Street? I’ve never been there. Can we come together next Saturday?” A specific invitation is more effective than “Let’s go there someday!” because then people will think you are just socializing.
  • At the end of the conversation, close the conversation by repeating the main point you just discussed with the other person. That way they will see that you are listening. For example: “Good luck in this Sunday marathon! I’m waiting for you to tell me next week.”
  • End by reaffirming that you enjoyed the conversation. “Talking to my friends is so much fun” or “It’s nice to meet you” will make the other person feel like they are loved.
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Talk to anyone and to everyone. Once you feel more comfortable talking to people you already know, try talking to new people. At first you may feel a little nervous talking to someone you are new to and may find it difficult to approach. But the more people you approach and the more you get used to talking, the easier it will be.

Step out into society

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Set specific and reasonable goals. Being a sociable person is a difficult goal, because it involves many small behaviors. Therefore, it is also a good idea to break down a big goal into smaller ones. Instead of telling yourself to be sociable, make it a task to talk to one new person every day or to smile to five people every day. [5] X Research Sources

  • Try to exchange a few sentences (or if you find it too much, just smile) with strangers or acquaintances every day, say hello to people on the street, or ask the name of the bartender. Small wins like these will keep you moving forward and ready for higher challenges.
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Join a club. If you’re not sure how to approach others in a social setting, try joining a hobby club. There you will have the opportunity to interact with people with similar interests as you, although often only to a small extent. [6] X Research Sources

  • Find a club that encourages communication, like a book club or cooking class. You can ask questions and participate in discussions, but attention is not focused entirely on you. Such environments are well suited for shy people.
  • Sharing experiences can be an effective way of connecting. Joining a club where you can share experiences with people is a good start – you’ve already begun to establish common ground there. [7] X Research Sources
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Invite everyone to play. You can still socialize even without leaving the house. Invite people over to your home to watch a movie or throw a party. If you’re kind and open-minded, people will feel you appreciate them (and they’ll probably enjoy it).

  • Create events that encourage conversation. You can invite people to your house to taste the wine so everyone has a chance to sip and compare. Or host an intimate dinner where everyone brings together family favorites (with recipes). Having a reason to talk to each other will make the party more lively and exciting (truthfully, food and wine will never hurt you).
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Know a certain pastime. Hobbies keep you calm, so you’re easier to get along with. [8] X Research Source When you become connoisseur of a pastime, you will feel proud and that makes you more confident in communication as well. [9] X Research Source

  • The pastimes also give you topics to discuss with new acquaintances. It also gives you the opportunity to meet new people. Enjoyment also benefits your health, for example, you are less likely to become depressed.
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Pay attention to how you dress. The way you dress affects the way you feel about yourself. Clothing that reflects your personality and self-worth can help you feel confident, which in turn will also make you more active and outgoing.

  • If you feel a little nervous about socializing, wear something that makes you feel powerful and attractive, and you can bring that confidence into your interactions. [10] X Trusted Source Science Direct Go to Source
  • Clothing can also be a topic for you to create an interesting conversation. A funny tie or uniquely designed bracelet can be a topic for people to close the distance with you. You can also compliment someone else’s clothes or accessories as a way of getting to know each other.
  • Be careful not to let judgment get in the way of compliments like “That dress makes you look slim!” Such comments focus on the general standard of beauty rather than on the person you are talking to. Instead, try saying something positive but non-judgmental like “I like the design of your tie, it’s so abstract” or “I was looking for such shoes, you bought them. where are you?”
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Image titled Be Outgoing Step 29

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Nurture existing friendships. You should pay attention to building friendships with your current friends and regular people. Not only will this help you bond, but it will also make you more mature and have new experiences to share with both of those groups.

  • Old friends are good objects for you to practice. They can introduce you to new people or accompany you to places you would never want to go alone. Don’t ignore them! Maybe they are going through the same thing as you.
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Introduce people to each other. Helping people feel comfortable is also part of being sociable. Once you’re comfortable with introducing yourself, spread the love by introducing people to each other. [11] X Research Source

  • Introducing people to each other makes communication less awkward. Think about what you know about each person – what do they have in common? For example, when you are talking to Lan at a shopping mall and you happen to meet Thanh, stop for a few seconds and call, “Thanh, this is Lan. We were just talking about the band that performed at the city theater last night. How do you feel?”

Communicating with body language

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Consider your body language. Non-verbal means of communication such as eye contact and body language can reveal who you are as much as words. Your posture and gestures send others a message about you. [12] X Research Source People often judge a person as attractive, likable, decent, reliable or aggressive in a split second, so you only have 1/10th of a second to make a first impression . [13] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to Source

  • For example, making yourself “small” by sitting cross-legged, slouching, holding hands, etc. shows that you are uncomfortable in the situation. It can send a signal that you don’t want to communicate with other people.
  • On the contrary, you can show confidence and strength by keeping an open posture. You don’t have to take up more space than you need or invade someone else’s space, but you do need to set up your space. Keep your feet steady while standing as well as sitting. Maintain a standing position with your chest forward and shoulders back. Avoid fidgeting, flexing your toes, or fidgeting. [14] X Research Source
  • Body language also affects a person’s sense of self. People who use “low status” body language, such as cowering or closing in by crossing their legs or arms, actually have elevated cortisp levels (cortisp is a stress hormone linked to feelings of discomfort). an). [15] X Research Source
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Make eye contact. You can appear friendlier just by making eye contact. If you look directly at someone this is often interpreted as an invitation. The other person will return your gaze as acceptance.

  • People who make eye contact when talking are generally considered friendlier, more open, and trustworthy. People who are extroverted and confident in communication often look at the person they are talking to more often and longer.
  • Eye contact creates a sense of closeness between people, even in photos or even sketches. [16] X Research Source
  • Try to maintain eye contact with the other person about 50% of the time when you speak, and about 70% of the time listening to them. Look into their eyes for about 4-5 seconds before shifting your gaze away. [17] X Trusted Source Michigan State University Extension Go to Source
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Show interest through body language. In addition to your posture when standing or sitting alone, you can also communicate with others by using body language. “Open” body language shows that you are always available and interested in the other person. [18] X Research Sources

  • Open body language is not crossing arms and legs, smiling, looking up and looking around the room. [19] X Research Source
  • Once you’ve made a connection with someone, show interest in them. For example, leaning forward and tilting your head when listening to the other person talk is a way to show that you are engaged in the conversation and interested in their opinion.
  • Many body language implies romantic attraction, but there are also gestures of non-romantic interest.
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Be an active listener. As you listen to someone else, let them know you’re engaged in the conversation. Focus on what they say. Look at the person while they are talking. Nodding your head, using sounds like “uh, um” or “um, um” and smiling are all ways to show you’re listening. [20] X Research Source

  • Avoid looking above the person you’re talking to or looking away for more than a few seconds, as this shows you’re bored or not paying attention.
  • Repeat the other person’s main ideas, or use them as part of your response. For example, if you’re talking to someone you just met at the bar and they’re talking about fly-fishing, mention that when you answer them, “Oh, I’ve never fished before. by artificial flies. But it sounds interesting to hear you describe it.” That will show the other person that you’re really listening rather than going through your shopping list or doing something else.
  • Let the other person finish speaking before you respond.
  • When listening to the other person speak, do not think about the response when they have finished speaking. Focus on the information they give.
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Practice smiling. One can distinguish a “real” smile from a fake one. [21] X Research Source The smile actually activates the muscles around the mouth and around the eyes, known as the “Duchenne” smile. [22] X Research Source

  • The Duchenne smile has been shown to reduce stress and create a sense of well-being in the person who smiles. [23] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to source
  • Practice smiling with a Duchenne smile. Imagine a situation where you want to express a positive emotion such as joy or love. Practice smiling in front of the mirror. You have to make sure that the corners of the lips appear wrinkles, the hallmark of a “real” smile.
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Image titled Be Outgoing Step 12

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Push yourself beyond your “comfort zone”. There is an area called “optimal nervousness” or “productive anxiety” that exists just outside our natural comfort zone. Your effectiveness is enhanced in this zone because you are willing to take risks. while staying close to your “safe zone,” you don’t go too far to be stopped by anxiety. [24] X Research Source

  • For example, when starting a new job, going on a first date, or the first day of a new school, you tend to try harder in a new situation. Thanks to high effort and attention, you will also perform better. [25] X Research Sources
  • Do this process slowly. Pushing yourself too far or too fast will actually damage your performance, as anxiety will go beyond the “optimal” level and enter the “panic state.” First, try taking small steps outside of your comfort zone. Once you start to become more comfortable with the risks that lead to extroversion, you can take longer steps. [26] X Research Sources
Image titled Be Outgoing Step 13

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 13

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Acknowledge “failures” as lessons learned. The risk always comes with the risk of not bringing the expected results. It is easy to think of such situations as “failures”. The problem with that way of thinking is that it all boils down to one. Even a seemingly worst outcome gives you something to learn from and learn from next time. [27] X Trusted Source Harvard Business Review Go to Source[28] X Research Source

  • Think about how you would approach the situation. What did you anticipate? Is there something you didn’t take into account? Now that you have experience, what do you think you will do differently next time?
  • What have you done to support your chances of success? For example, if your goal is to “communicate more,” consider what actions you’ve taken. Do you go to places where you know some people? Do you go with a friend? Do you go to a place where you can find people with similar interests? Were you hoping to instantly become a socialite, or did you set smaller and more achievable initial goals? Prepare for your success next time with the knowledge you learned this time.
  • Focus on what you can control. Experiencing failure can leave you feeling helpless as if success will never come your way. Of course there will be things beyond our control, but not all. Think about the things you can do to make a change, and consider how to do those things to your advantage next time.
  • You can attach the value of effort to your ability to perform. Learn to focus on the effort rather than on the outcome (something you can’t always control). Be kind to yourself every time you fall. This method can help you do better next time. [29] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
READ More:   How to Cope with Homesickness

Think Positive, Effective and Confident

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 1

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 1

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Challenge your inner criticism. Changing behavior is difficult, especially when you’re trying to do something that’s not in your nature. You may hear whispers in your head like, “She doesn’t want to be friends with me. I have nothing to say. Everything I say is stupid.” Such thoughts are based only on fear and not based on facts. Challenge them by reminding yourself that you have ideas and thoughts that others want to hear. [30] X Trusted Source Michigan State University Extension Go to Source

  • Try to find evidence for those “scenarios” as they pop into your head. For example, if a coworker walks past your desk without saying hello, you’ll naturally think, “Oh, she’s mad at me. I don’t know what I did. I know she doesn’t want to be friends with me.”
  • Challenge that thinking by finding evidence for it; You probably won’t find much. Ask yourself: Last time he was angry with you, did that person say it? If so, they would have said it this time. Did you actually do anything that would upset the person? Maybe they just had a bad day?
  • Maybe your timid nature has made you exaggerate your mistakes in the eyes of others. You should remember that if you are open, sincere and friendly, most people will not mind because you once tripped. Beating yourself up for your mistakes also means that anxiety prevents you from learning and growing. [31] X Research Source
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Image titled Be Outgoing Step 2

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Get along your way. There’s nothing wrong with being introverted or timid. You determine what you should change, but do it for yourself, not because someone told you to change.

  • Think about why shyness upsets you. Maybe it’s just something you can accept and let go of. Or maybe you just want to feel more comfortable talking to the people around you. It is much better to be yourself with an introverted nature than to be someone else and reluctantly extrovert.
  • Think about the situations in which your shyness emerges. How does your body react? What is your bias? Figuring out how to do it is the first step in controlling your reactions.
Image titled Be Outgoing Step 3

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 3

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Get started as soon as you get the chance. If you wait until you have an interest to act, your chances of seeing a change are quite low. You can increase your effectiveness by acting the way you want – whether you believe it or not at first. Your expectations are often capable of delivering something. That’s why it is often said that if you fake it, one day it will turn out to be true. [32] X Research Source
Image titled Be Outgoing Step 4

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 4

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Set realistic goals. Remember that changing yourself takes time. Set realistic goals for yourself and don’t blame yourself if you stumble from time to time. This is normal. [33] X Research Sources

  • Identify what is challenging you. Your goal of being sociable may not be the same for others. For example, making eye contact with one person every day can be a big win for you. Choose realistic goals for yourself.
Image titled Be Outgoing Step 5

Image titled Be Outgoing Step 5

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Realize that getting along is a skill. While this may seem easy to some people, that quality has to be honed over time, and it can be learned, too. [34] X Research Resources By setting goals and continuously practicing, you can change the way you react to situations and to people.

  • If you know someone who is sociable, ask them. Are they always like that? Do they ever have to try to get along? Do they have any phobias? The corresponding answers can be no, yes and yes. The only problem was that they decided to dominate.
  • Image titled Be Outgoing Step 6

    Image titled Be Outgoing Step 6

    {“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/9/94/Be-Outgoing-Step-6-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be-Outgoing-Step-6- Version-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/94/Be-Outgoing-Step-6-Version-4.jpg/v4-728px-Be- Outgoing-Step-6-Version-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:”<div class=”mw-parser -output”></div>”}
    Think about past successes. Inherent anxiety can overwhelm you at a party at the thought of socializing with the people there. Perhaps you have some negative thoughts about your ability to succeed in communication. In such situations, think about times when you have been successful and feel good. Maybe at least there are times when you are also active in your family and in your group of friends. Let’s apply that achievement to this situation.

    • Thinking about times when you’ve done what you’re currently afraid of will help you see your abilities and make you more confident.
  • Advice

    • Feel your surroundings and enjoy the present moment. If you don’t know how to enjoy, who else will do it for you!
    • Smile whenever you can. Smiling alone as well as smiling at others can put you in a better mood and make you more sociable.
    • Once you feel comfortable approaching people, take the next step. Learn how to create an interesting conversation and how to be engaging.
    • When someone asks about your life, remember to ask about theirs. It’s easy to forget this, but it can help move the conversation forward.
    • Don’t be swayed by pressure to act like someone else. Being yourself is the best way to become confident.
    • Remember that you can’t go from shy to energetic right away, but it can take days, even years, to reach the highest level of confidence. Take advantage of your time. Practice sociability by talking to people. You can do it in the classroom or in the boardroom – there’s no difference here.
    • Go get to know people. If you see someone you don’t know but who looks nice, say, “Hi, what’s your name?” and after they respond, say, “Oh, I am (insert your name). Nice to meet you!”. This will make people feel that you are friendly and not afraid to talk to people.
    X

    This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    There are 34 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 18,367 times.

    Some people are naturally sociable, but others have to practice to be like that. If you want to be friendly and approachable, here are some tactics you can use. To become a “sociable” person, you need to know how to get to know others, spark conversation, and become more confident.

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