How to Be Silent

Do people always tell you to shut up? Do you often speak without thinking and end up regretting what you said? Do you feel as if there is too much noise in your head and want to know how to turn it off? If that’s the case, the good news is that anyone can become silent. – That just takes time and patience. If you want to know how to be silent, follow the steps below.

Table of Contents

Keep quiet in conversation

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Think before you speak. People with a noisy nature do not possess this important skill. So the next time you really want to say something, stop, take a moment, and ask yourself if what you’re saying is really helping the situation. Will you give people the information they need, make them laugh, offer comfort, or will you say something they need to hear? If you don’t think someone will really benefit from what you have to say, keep it to yourself. ^{[1] X Research Source}

One rule to follow when you’re getting started is to say one of two things that’s on your mind. When working in a quieter space, you can say one of three things, or one of four things.

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Do not interrupt others. Don’t repeatedly interrupt someone while they’re talking unless you think what you want to say is important to the conversation. (Let’s face it. – When is it appropriate?) Not only is interrupting someone rude, but it also disrupts the flow of conversation and will make you a talkative person. If you really need to make a comment or ask a question, take notes and wait until the other person is done to see if what you want to say is still relevant. ^{[2] X Research Source}

You will be surprised at how many questions will be answered if you let people talk.

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Ask questions instead of talking about yourself. If you work in a quieter space, chances are you tend to keep talking about yourself or the things that really interest you instead of letting others share their opinions. So the next time you chat and it’s your turn to speak, ask people to better understand the topic you’re discussing and learn more about them – from their hobbies to what they do for fun. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

You don’t have to talk like an interrogation or ask questions that make people uncomfortable. Keep things light, friendly, and polite. Remember that this conversation will say a lot about your interest and enjoyment in other people’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and less about “your business”.

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Count down from 10 before you say something. If you’ve been thinking about making the most interesting comment, wait 10 seconds and then speak. Count down from 10 to see if the idea suddenly seems less interesting, or give the other person time to speak up and stop you from saying what you had in mind. This is also an effective technique if you are feeling angry or upset and want to express your grievance. Giving yourself some time to calm down can help keep you from saying something you’ll regret.

When you master it, you can even count down from 5. Even that short period of time can help you know if you should keep quiet.

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Listen carefully. If you want to be silent, you have to make an effort to be a good listener. When someone is talking to you, make eye contact, pick important points, and try to read their facial expressions to see what they’re really saying and feeling. Let the person talk, don’t lose patience, and don’t get distracted by texts. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Asking questions helps the person express their point of view, but you shouldn’t ask something off topic, as it will confuse them.
The more you work to be a good listener, the less you will overwhelm the conversation. From experience, you should balance your speaking and listening time evenly. A balanced conversation will be most effective.

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Stop complaining. If you find yourself spending a lot of time chatting preoccupied with the things that bother you during the day – like the horrible traffic jam this morning, that troubling email you received from a friend, the cold winter limits your style – consider what feedback will “be discussed” with others. Where can the conversation lead? What positive results will there be? What can other people perceive about you and your attitude through your words?

If complaining about the things you can’t change really makes you feel better, try journaling. You don’t have to complain loudly, right?
If you have a real problem and need to talk about it, that’s fine too. – What we’re saying here is that complaining should only be useful for the purposes of the conversation.

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Focus on the breath. If you’re really feeling flustered and want to start talking for no reason, focus on your breathing. Pay attention to the rise and fall of your breath and focus on breathing deeper and more evenly. Stop fidgeting and listen to what’s going on around you. Focus on your thoughts and feelings instead of any complaints you want to talk about.

This technique will help you calm down and realize that talking is not so important.

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Take the time to process what you hear. You may be the type of person who has an immediate reaction to what you hear and wants to ask your thoughts/questions/questions right away, however, this is not really the best way to deal with the situation. If you take the time to process whatever is happening and ask a complete question or comment, you will be able to say less, ask or say something more meaningful. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

This will give you time to self-correct and not utter all this “nonsense” that is of no benefit to anyone.

Keep quiet all day

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Find a hobby that requires quiet. Practicing to be quiet when you’re alone can help you be more quiet around people. A great way to practice stillness is to find a hobby where you have to be quiet and preferably alone. Try painting, writing, practicing yoga, writing songs, collecting stamps, watching birds, or anything that requires you to be quiet and not say what’s on your mind.

Reading is also very effective in keeping you quiet as you process the words in front of you.
Be quiet for at least 1 hour while you pursue your hobby. Then silence for 2 hours. Then 3 o’clock. Can you not say a word all day?

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Release energy in other ways. Perhaps you are talking too much – sometimes too much – because you feel as if you have a lot of energy and don’t know how to release it. So, finding another way to say what’s on your mind will help clear your mind of wandering.

Being active – especially running – can help you work out effectively while getting rid of that excess energy. So you can go hiking or cook. Find whatever works for you.

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Resist the temptation of chatting online. Talking online just fills your life with noise, and most of what you say doesn’t really matter. If you really want to chat with your friends, call or meet in person instead of constantly typing on the computer, right? Next time you want to chat online to check on your 28th best friend, turn off your computer and go outside for a walk.

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Take a break from using social media. It’s better to take a break from using Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and any other social media you’re probably abusing too often. These sites are filled with noise, people trying to impress each other, and meaningless words that make you feel compelled to respond. If you are really addicted to it, spend 10-15 minutes a day on all the social networking sites instead of spending time checking them every chance.

Would you rather hear your best friends talk face-to-face instead of perfect strangers bragging to the world? Stay away from all unfamiliar voices and focus only on the important ones.

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Write diary. Get in the habit of journaling at the end of each day or week. This can help you write down your wandering thoughts, keep quiet, and feel like you’ve vented without having to talk to your 15 closest friends. You can write about what happened during the day, which will make you ask more questions and write down deeper thoughts.

You’ll be surprised how much more you can keep quiet when you write only one journal page a day.

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Meditation. Meditation is a great way to stop your mind from thinking and keep your body relaxed. Take 10-20 minutes each morning to find a comfortable seat in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Take care to relax each body part and pay attention to what you hear, smell, feel, and perceive as you sit there. Banish all negative thoughts, focus on the present, cherish the quiet, and you will continue to have a more focused, quiet day. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Meditation can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by taking better control of your mind and body.

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Cherish nature. Let’s go for a walk. Go on beach. See all the lush greenery in the garden on the other side of town. Take a weekend trip to the woods. Do what brings you closer to nature. You will be amazed at the beauty and energy of something that lasts longer than you think and you will feel all doubts and words disappear. It’s hard to keep chatting about what you think you’ll be on your next math test when you’re standing at the foot of a beautiful, long-standing mountain. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Make time to be close to nature as a weekly habit. You can even bring a diary and write down your thoughts.

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Turn off music. Music definitely makes you happier while studying, jogging, or on the way to work. However, music can add noise that makes you feel more chatty, frantic, and excitable. Classical or jazz music may be fine, but loud music plus memorable lyrics can create noises that reverberate in your head and keep you from being calm and in control of the day.

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Give yourself time. If you are a loud and talkative person, you won’t become a Silent One overnight. However, if you make an effort to talk a little less each day, pursue hobbies and activities that make you quieter, and focus on being a good listener instead of a talker, you will be able to became silent earlier than I thought. So sit back, be patient, and enjoy the feeling of all the wandering noises disappearing from your mind – and from your vocal cords.

Steps

Keep quiet in conversation

Keep quiet all day

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