How to Be Less Annoyed with People

Feelings of discomfort can originate from both sides. One is that the other person is doing something quite annoying that affects a lot of people (most cases) – the other is that the person is just doing something normal, like breathing, but for some reason it doesn’t work. trigger a bout of difficulty in you (everyone has had it). Finding ways to deal with these two problems will be good for you both on the outside and on the inside.

Table of Contents

Facing annoying people

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Breathe deeply . Breathing deeply from the diaphragm can reduce the amount of stress the body is under. ^{[1] X Research Source} Calmly count to 10 slowly . Imagine you are on the beach. Let the inner sounds of ocean waves and seagulls flow through you. You will find the sea steam on your face to calm your mind. Pass on the memories of your sweetest experiences; the feeling of being with a lover, success, the joy of being free from obligations.

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Let go of the idea of how people should act or what to do. This is the step of controlling expectations. Often, we have specific ideas about how people act and what they should do. That’s why it’s easy to get frustrated when people don’t live up to our expectations. We often talk about “Common rules of etiquette”. While it is natural to expect others to behave in a basic way, it can also cause discomfort and even unhappiness. There are ways to make things different:

Lower expectations. Do not lose faith in people, but do not expect their behavior or speech to be thorough and pleasing to you. Setting reasonable expectations is key to avoiding discomfort. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Ask yourself – what good does it do for me? “What do I get when I’m so upset?” If you think about it like that, you realize the problem. Maybe you feel superior to others. But would you rather your judgment of yourself be based on what other people do, not what you do? Your identity will be stronger if it is based on your actions and not from others.

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Don’t react. ^{[3] X Research Source} Many times, when others make us uncomfortable, we feel a strong emotion that is difficult to sit still. That’s when we say things we shouldn’t say or do regretful things. Scream Stop! or Shut up! is an example. Most outbursts only make the situation worse, not better. After taking a deep breath, focus on yourself and take a moment to see if it’s worth your reaction. Probably not.

Of course, if a colleague has just made a sexist attack, it might be something to fight back: Hey, I don’t think it’s appropriate to compare women to cows . But if your coworker is teasing you with the same sentence for the 20th time, not responding will make their joke useless, which may work for you in the long run.

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Pay attention to your body language . Wrinkles, eye glances, and unpleasant body gestures show anger and contempt. And it’s contagious, too, so if your body gestures are directed at someone who makes you uncomfortable, there’s a good chance they’ll get angry, too. The situation escalates before you know it. Do your best to stay calm and unconcerned, not showing anything that shows you’re upset.

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Assume the best. Instead of thinking that people are trying to upset you, think that they just don’t know what they’re doing. Most of the time, no one is trying to annoy you, they just don’t realize what they’re doing is annoying. In other words, maybe they’re in their own world and aren’t aware of you. Remember, only you think about yourself more than others – the same applies to others.

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Don’t worry about the little things. One kid bothers you on the plane, the other man talks on the phone too loudly, the information office staff asks you the same question over and over. Those things are no big deal. In a bigger picture, they are nothing. You can have a better quality of life by letting go of the little things and focusing your resources and efforts on the things that really mean a lot to the majority: family, friends , health and safety, novelties, trips and lasting memories.

Accept the things you cannot change. You can change yourself, the color of your walls, the interior of your home, but you can’t change other people. Focus your energy on things that can be changed, and those around you will appreciate it.

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Don’t try to please everyone. No matter who you are or what you do, there will always be someone who doesn’t understand you or thinks of you in a bad way. Do not try to please those who are indifferent or hostile to you, because that is futile. You get annoyed because people don’t understand why people don’t like you as much as you think you deserve. This longing is rooted in selfishness and it is very toxic.

No matter who you are, there will always be people who don’t like you. Whether because of race, religion, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation or social class, they will always find it difficult to accept you as human with full rights. People can overcome those prejudices, but this rarely happens and never happens overnight.
Show your haters they’re wrong by what you do. The best thing you can do to combat ignorance and prejudice is to forget it, go on with your life and prove them wrong with your own example. Show them how awesome you are. Don’t poke them in the face – just live. If they can’t see it, it’s because they can’t be saved.

Deal with your own woes

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Identify what bothers you. What is making you angry? Is it something that is really annoying, like your younger brother repeating a noise you asked him to stop, or is it just something harmless, like someone breathing too loudly? ^{[4] X Research Source} If something innocuous causes you to suffer, it must be an underlying problem that you haven’t resolved, be it about a person or about yourself.

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Change your attitude when you feel uncomfortable. Try to be friendly and polite instead of being annoyed. Avoid acting negative or unfriendly, but try to talk to the person who upsets you (if that person is doing completely harmless things).

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Advise yourself what words you would give others. If you’re annoyed with someone for no reason, or feel upset because you’re suddenly upset, try this trick. Think of a piece of advice you would like to give that person. For example, the person is playing a prank and your friend is the victim, you want to tell that person to “be a little more considerate of other people’s feelings!”. Now, instead of giving advice to that person, turn around and see if that advice applies to you? Yes, that’s you! Is there a way to make you care about others? Can you ignore that joke? Do you think your friend might find the joke funny? Sometimes, the advice we are so eager to give others is the advice we have to absorb first.

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Realize that your discomfort may be the problem with you and not someone else. Maybe the reason we find something or someone upset is because it reminds us of ourselves; We don’t want to believe that’s who we really are, so we separate ourselves from those people and things with our frustration and anger. Ask yourself: Is the reason you’re upset because that person is a mirror of something so familiar to you?

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Consider rotating your life around a bit. Uncomfortable is a sign that you are getting too close to your comfort zone. Try refreshing everything. Rearrange your bedroom, read a book by an author that challenges your foundational beliefs, go on a trip abroad. Changing something in your life helps you move from your comfort zone to another, relieves discomfort and expands tolerance.

Anything that helps you grow and develop tends to help alleviate discomfort with others. Because the more you learn about the world, the more you understand the motives of others and the less high expectations you will have. The key to happiness is lowering expectations.

Advice

Always calm. Turn on some music, go for a walk, or hang out with someone you love.
Positive thinking helps reduce discomfort for others.
The cuter the person who annoys you, the more annoying you are. Consider carefully why. Are they really cute or are they just manipulating and trying to achieve their goals? Or is it their sweetness that contrasts with yours? Think carefully before reacting.
Realize that cyberspace can also make you uncomfortable, just with anonymous characters you can’t see. Try not to take any negative interactions online, be funny, and let go when things start to get messy. After a good night’s sleep, the next day you will feel the story differently.

Warning

Be careful of what you consider offensive behavior. It’s understandable that human behavior and words can be frustrating at times, but changing perspective is key. For example, you might be annoyed by a person with autism clapping or making agitated sounds. In that situation, remind yourself, “This person is free to express themselves as they are. I can be patient with people who are different from me, even if I don’t understand them.”
Know that sometimes you can turn mountains into valleys just by seeing things separately. Observe the pattern that shows that conflicts are really serious that need you to know how to mediate. Do not react immediately, but discuss the situation with trusted friends outside or with a counselor when you feel you can’t take it anymore. In situations of deep conflict, if you react right away or overreact, you will put yourself in the situation the other person wants: make a fool of yourself or go overboard and get in trouble.
Know that hatred, contempt, and fear can be contagious. Avoid reinforcing your love and hate for the person who upsets you by telling others why you are upset with them. You don’t want people to get angry because you bully them.

Steps

Facing annoying people

Deal with your own woes

Advice

Warning

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