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This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 70,061 times.
Being kind is the fundamental way to give meaning to our lives. Not only that, kindness also brings joy to those around us. Being kind helps us to communicate better, have deeper compassion and also create a positive force in one’s life. Kindness is a pure thing hidden deep inside of you, and besides those who are kind from birth, anyone can choose to nurture their inherent kindness.
Steps
Develop a kind outlook on life
- Practice being kind and generous to others. The lack of opportunity to practice, feeling embarrassed or not knowing how to connect with others can only be overcome through action; By continuously trying, you will gradually develop a natural urge to be kind and give more.
- Doesn’t ask for anything in return. Great kindness does not expect anything, does not bind, and puts no conditions on any action or word.
- Finally, being a respectable person isn’t nice either; this is giving in and not wanting to cause trouble, because you’re afraid that if you just do something different it will all fall apart.
- As you get to know yourself, you will realize what causes pain and conflict, and accept your contradictions and inconsistencies. In addition, this is an opportunity for you to improve the things that you are not satisfied with about yourself. From there, self-knowledge helps you avoid imposing your negative sides on others and gradually you will treat others with love and kindness. [4] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 55, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 .
- Take time to understand yourself and use this understanding to be kinder to yourself (remember we all have flaws) and others. This way, the anxiety in your heart will be relieved, instead of inciting the need to express pain and hurt.
- Avoid viewing the time spent understanding your own needs and limitations as selfish; on the contrary, this is a prerequisite for you to be able to engage with others with full strength and awareness.
- Ask yourself what it means to be kind to yourself. For many people, being kind to yourself is about controlling your voice and stopping negative thinking.
- Recall how it felt when the kindness of others brought you joy. What is it about their kindness that makes you feel special and loved? Is there anything in their actions that you can sincerely do the same for?
- As simple as it may seem, kindness holds a hugely irreplaceable reward and is a source of self-esteem booster. [5] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 4, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521
- Do one kind thing for someone every day. Make a clear decision every morning about the act of kindness you will take and set aside time to accomplish it during the day.
- Be kind, friendly, and compassionate when dealing with others and even with people who often make you angry, stressed, or upset. Make kindness your strength.
- Turn small acts of kindness into great compassion. Volunteering to help those in need and actively sharing the pain of others are both great acts of compassion. [7] X Research Sources
- Meditate to spread kindness. Learn how to practice Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta).
- The problem that leads us to give kindness to the “right” circumstances is because we don’t realize the need to be kind to everyone, no matter who they are, how rich they are, the price they pay. What are their values and beliefs, what are their behaviors and attitudes, what are their backgrounds, how similar they are to me, etc.
- By treating us kindly only to those deemed worthy, we are displaying our own biases and judgments, and only behaving in a conditionally kind manner. Natural kindness directs all life; The challenges you face in trying to put this broad concept into practice will sometimes feel helpless, but you will come to understand more and more about your own kindness.
- If you are indifferent to being kind to someone just because you think they can handle things without your support or understanding, you are only practicing selective kindness.
- If you are judgmental, gossipy, or always speak badly of those around you, you will never overcome your limitations to be kind.
- Kindness is believing in the good in people instead of expecting perfection.
Develop kind qualities
- Even if you’re feeling really bad, remember that other people are feeling insecure, hurt, difficult, sad, frustrated, and lost. That’s not to say that you should take your emotions lightly, but it does help you realize that people’s reactions often stem from hurt and pain rather than from their own wholeness; Kindness is the key to letting go of anger and connecting with who you really are inside.
- Learn from your mistakes instead of criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others. [10] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 279, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 Through self-compassion, you will begin to recognize the needs of others with eyes filled with compassion.
- Limit the use of technology when communicating with others. Technological ways of communicating quickly and without human presence such as texting or emailing play an important role in life, but it is not the only way of communication. Take the time to connect with others through face-to-face meetings or uninterrupted calls. Alternatively, you can send a handwritten letter instead of an email and surprise someone with your kindness by taking the time to write a letter on paper.
- Really listening, making eye contact, avoiding distractions, and spending time with someone are the greatest acts of kindness. Take the time to listen and understand what the speaker has to say before interrupting or responding with a prepared response. You should let the speaker know that you understand their situation and are willing to listen.
- Being a good listener doesn’t mean being good at solving problems. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be there to listen and admit that you don’t know what the speaker should do.
- Staying positive isn’t always easy, especially when you’re having a bad day. With practice, however, anyone can cultivate optimism by focusing on the positive instead of the negative, thinking about future happiness, and living life with more joy than sadness. No one is taxing when you’re always looking on the bright side of things.
- Being optimistic and positive not only helps you to have the right perception of kindness, but also brings joy to those around you. If you spend too much time complaining, you will have a hard time bringing happiness to the people in your life.
- Learn how to be happy, how to be funny, and how to express gratitude to foster optimism.
- Friendly people are usually kind because they want the best for others. They chat with new or new acquaintances carefree, making the other person feel extremely comfortable.
- If you’re a shy person, you don’t need to completely change your personality. Instead, you just need to put more effort into being kind to others by paying attention, asking, and caring about them.
- Find other ways to express your request or response to others. For example, say “Am I allowed?” instead of “Can I?”; say “I’m surprised” instead of “It’s not fair”; say “Let me explain it another way” instead of “That’s not what I said”. Changing the wording says a lot.
- Standard behavior. Keep the door open to others, avoid being rude, and don’t be too intimate with someone you’re meeting for the first time.
- Praise others sincerely.
- Learn how to be polite and kind to know what you should do.
- When you notice the good that people around you do for you, you will be more willing to be kind to others. In addition, you also feel more deeply about the good that other people’s kindness brings to you and want to spread love.
Act
- Adopt a pet. Your kindness will be rewarded with joy and love from the little creature you have brought into your life.
- Help your friends take care of their pets when they are away. Let your friends feel secure knowing someone loves and cares about their pet when they’re not at home.
- Respect the animals you are caring for. Humans do not “own” animals; on the contrary, we have a responsibility to take care of their lives.
- Take the time to get involved in local regeneration with your local community. Go for a nature walk with family and friends, or go it alone, and stick with the habitat you are a part of. Share the love of nature with others to renew their connection with nature.
- Be mindful of the benefits others get from your items. They don’t always ask for them, but you can proactively make an offer before they admit that they need something from you.
- When you smile at someone, they feel more at ease and it also makes you appear friendlier – another way to be kind. Receiving others thoughtfully, even trusting strangers by smiling at them, is also a way to be kind.
- Sincerely inquire about everyone’s situation.
- Get to know other people’s interests, interests, and families.
- If someone you care about has just experienced a major life event, it’s a good idea to ask how things are going.
- If your acquaintance is about to take part in an important exam or interview, send them well wishes.
- When talking to other people, remember to give them the opportunity to talk as much as you do. Do not monopolize the conversation, you should focus more on the other person instead of yourself.
- Make eye contact and don’t use your phone when you’re talking to other people. Let them know that they are your number one priority.
- If you don’t have much time, you can start the habit of calling your friends on their birthdays. Don’t be lazy and text or post on Facebook, call your friends and have a sincere chat.
- If you have clothes or books that someone you know needs, don’t hesitate to hand them over. This is another way to be kind.
- Sweep up trash in front of your house and neighbors’ houses.
- Help your friends wash the car.
- Pay for someone’s parking.
- Help someone else carry a big bag.
- Put a gift on someone’s doorstep.
- Learn more for ideas for spontaneous acts of kindness.
- By being kind, you make a strong statement that caring for others, your surroundings, and yourself is the right way to live. [12] X Research source Piero Ferrucci, <i>The power of kindness</i> (The value of kindness), p. 271 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 It’s not about the immediate effect; Kindness is a lifestyle choice, the hum and rhythm that resonates in all your actions and thoughts.
- By being kind, you release the burden of worrying that others have more than you, are not as worthy or worthy of you, or are in a higher or lower position than you. Instead, kindness helps you realize that everyone has their value, and so do you.
- By being kind, you realize that we are all connected. When you harm someone, you are also harming yourself. What you do to help others will also support you.
Advice
- Saying hello to everyone you meet, from the salesperson to your boss, brightens up your surroundings and puts everyone at ease. Do that every day.
- You may not like everyone and that is normal; Even the kindest people in the world get angry at times! Even so, please continue to be polite.
- Try not to hurt others physically or mentally. Self-control is important in many situations.
Warning
- If you’re really angry and upset about someone, remember that being kind will make the other person appreciate you more than trying to resist a wrongdoing. People can come up with enough excuses to justify a wrongdoing, but the feeling of being kindly forgiven is what makes them hard to forget.
- Make sure your gesture of kindness is needed. Sometimes unnecessary help can backfire, so there’s an old saying “please hold a grudge”. There are times when we think we are helping, but in reality we can cause trouble if we don’t have enough information about the problem.
- Don’t talk about the good things you’ve done; be humble. Doing good things just to be praised by everyone around is not kind. Helping someone who doesn’t know your support will also feel great.
This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 70,061 times.
Being kind is the fundamental way to give meaning to our lives. Not only that, kindness also brings joy to those around us. Being kind helps us to communicate better, have deeper compassion and also create a positive force in one’s life. Kindness is a pure thing hidden deep inside of you, and besides those who are kind from birth, anyone can choose to nurture their inherent kindness.
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