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How to Be Kind

January 24, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Be Kind  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.

There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 70,061 times.

Being kind is the fundamental way to give meaning to our lives. Not only that, kindness also brings joy to those around us. Being kind helps us to communicate better, have deeper compassion and also create a positive force in one’s life. Kindness is a pure thing hidden deep inside of you, and besides those who are kind from birth, anyone can choose to nurture their inherent kindness.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Develop a kind outlook on life
    • Develop kind qualities
    • Act
  • Advice
  • Warning

Steps

Develop a kind outlook on life

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Image titled Be Kind Step 1

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Sincerely care about others. At the most basic level, kindness manifests itself in your sincere concern for those around you, wanting the best for them, and realizing that they too have wants, needs, and aspirations. , even the same fear as you. Kindness contains warmth, excitement, patience, feelings of trust, loyalty, and gratitude. [1] X Research Source Piero Ferrucci, <i>The power of kindness</i>, p. 8 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 Piero Ferrucci defines kindness as “doing little effort” because it frees us from the stranglehold of negative attitudes and emotions, for example such as resentment, jealousy, mistrust, and manipulation. [2] X Research Source Piero Ferrucci,<i>The power of kindness</i> (The value of kindness), p. 9 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 After all, kindness is a profound concern for all life.

  • Practice being kind and generous to others. The lack of opportunity to practice, feeling embarrassed or not knowing how to connect with others can only be overcome through action; By continuously trying, you will gradually develop a natural urge to be kind and give more.
  • Doesn’t ask for anything in return. Great kindness does not expect anything, does not bind, and puts no conditions on any action or word.
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Don’t be kind just because you want to get what you want. Beware of delusional kindness. Kindness is not “self-interested courtesy, calculated generosity, superficial etiquette”. [3] X Research Source Piero Ferrucci, <i>The power of kindness</i>, p. 7 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 Kindness is not being nice to others because you are sure it will manipulate them, force them to give you what you want, or become tools to control them. Kindness isn’t about pretending to care about someone when you’re holding back your anger or contempt; Even hiding rage or frustration behind fake jokes is not kind.

  • Finally, being a respectable person isn’t nice either; this is giving in and not wanting to cause trouble, because you’re afraid that if you just do something different it will all fall apart.
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Be kind to yourself. The mistake many people often make is trying to be kind to others but not focusing on being kind to themselves. It could be because you don’t like something about yourself, but often the point is that you don’t know yourself well enough. The sad thing about not knowing yourself well is that your kindness to others runs the risk of becoming illusory as described in the previous step. Or, that kindness can leave you exhausted and disillusioned because you put everyone before yourself.

  • As you get to know yourself, you will realize what causes pain and conflict, and accept your contradictions and inconsistencies. In addition, this is an opportunity for you to improve the things that you are not satisfied with about yourself. From there, self-knowledge helps you avoid imposing your negative sides on others and gradually you will treat others with love and kindness. [4] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 55, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 .
  • Take time to understand yourself and use this understanding to be kinder to yourself (remember we all have flaws) and others. This way, the anxiety in your heart will be relieved, instead of inciting the need to express pain and hurt.
  • Avoid viewing the time spent understanding your own needs and limitations as selfish; on the contrary, this is a prerequisite for you to be able to engage with others with full strength and awareness.
  • Ask yourself what it means to be kind to yourself. For many people, being kind to yourself is about controlling your voice and stopping negative thinking.
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Learn from the kindness of others. Think of the truly kind people in your life and how they make you feel. Do you feel their warmth in your heart every time you think about them? The possibility is there, because kindness will linger and warm you, even as you face the toughest challenges. When you are loved by others for who you are, you will never forget their trust and how they have reinforced your worth, and their kindness will last forever. forever.

  • Recall how it felt when the kindness of others brought you joy. What is it about their kindness that makes you feel special and loved? Is there anything in their actions that you can sincerely do the same for?
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Cultivate kindness for your own health. Mental health and happiness both come from positive thinking, and kindness is a positive mental state. Kindness is about giving and being open to others, but it also gives us a sense of wholeness and togetherness that improves mental health and well-being.

  • As simple as it may seem, kindness holds a hugely irreplaceable reward and is a source of self-esteem booster. [5] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 4, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521
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Make it a habit to focus on kindness. Leo Babauta believes that being kind is a habit that everyone can cultivate. He suggests focusing on daily kindness for a month. At the end of this process of absolute focus, you will realize profound changes in your life and feel better about yourself; At the same time, the reaction of the people around you will also be different, they will also treat you better. In the long run, kindness is karma, he said. [6] X Research Sources Some suggestions for cultivating kindness include:

  • Do one kind thing for someone every day. Make a clear decision every morning about the act of kindness you will take and set aside time to accomplish it during the day.
  • Be kind, friendly, and compassionate when dealing with others and even with people who often make you angry, stressed, or upset. Make kindness your strength.
  • Turn small acts of kindness into great compassion. Volunteering to help those in need and actively sharing the pain of others are both great acts of compassion. [7] X Research Sources
  • Meditate to spread kindness. Learn how to practice Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta).
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Be kind to everyone, not just those who “need help”. Let’s expand the scope of kindness. It’s often easy to become kind when we unconsciously practice what Stephanie Dowrick calls “superior kindness.” [8] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 357, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 This is a term used to refer to kindness shown to those we think really need help (the sick, the poor, the disadvantaged and those in need. with our own opinion). In fact, it’s still easier to be kind to those who are close to us emotionally (like family or friends) or otherwise (same country, skin color, gender, etc.) being kind to those whom the philosopher Hegel calls “the rest”. We will find it harder to be kind to those we consider our equals, but all the efforts will be rewarded.

  • The problem that leads us to give kindness to the “right” circumstances is because we don’t realize the need to be kind to everyone, no matter who they are, how rich they are, the price they pay. What are their values and beliefs, what are their behaviors and attitudes, what are their backgrounds, how similar they are to me, etc.
  • By treating us kindly only to those deemed worthy, we are displaying our own biases and judgments, and only behaving in a conditionally kind manner. Natural kindness directs all life; The challenges you face in trying to put this broad concept into practice will sometimes feel helpless, but you will come to understand more and more about your own kindness.
  • If you are indifferent to being kind to someone just because you think they can handle things without your support or understanding, you are only practicing selective kindness.
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Limit judgment. If you really want to be kind, stop judging. Instead of spending time criticizing others, you should learn to be positive and cultivate compassion. If you often think badly of others, wish they could improve their abilities, or feel that everyone around you is dependent or weak, you won’t know what true kindness is. Stop judging others and realize that you won’t be able to understand their situation unless you live their life. Focus on helping others instead of judging them for not being able to do better than they actually are.

  • If you are judgmental, gossipy, or always speak badly of those around you, you will never overcome your limitations to be kind.
  • Kindness is believing in the good in people instead of expecting perfection.

Develop kind qualities

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Show compassion for others. The important thing to remember is “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle”. Believed to be Plato’s maxim, this quote acknowledges that everyone is going through trials or problems in life and that sometimes it’s easy to forget this while we’re still immersed in the problem. own problems or anger over unsatisfactory things. Before you do something that negatively affects others, ask yourself a simple question, “Is this act kind?”. When you can’t give an affirmative answer, that cue serves as a reminder for you to change your actions and solve the problem immediately.

  • Even if you’re feeling really bad, remember that other people are feeling insecure, hurt, difficult, sad, frustrated, and lost. That’s not to say that you should take your emotions lightly, but it does help you realize that people’s reactions often stem from hurt and pain rather than from their own wholeness; Kindness is the key to letting go of anger and connecting with who you really are inside.
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Don’t expect perfection. If you tend to be perfectionist, competitive, or always in a hurry, your self-kindness will often be influenced by your ambition and fast-paced life, and also by your fear of being in a hurry. perceived as lazy or selfish. [9] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 341, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 Remember to slow down and forgive yourself when things don’t go your way.

  • Learn from your mistakes instead of criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others. [10] X Research Resources Stephanie Dowrick, <i>Choosing Happiness</i>, p. 279, (2005), ISBN 1-74114-521 Through self-compassion, you will begin to recognize the needs of others with eyes filled with compassion.
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Image titled Be Kind Step 11

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Focus on the present. The greatest gift of kindness you can give another person is to be in their presence, listen attentively, and give them your full attention. Organize your day and stop being in a hurry. To be in the present means to be; To do so, you cannot continue to rush or jostle with the flow of life.

  • Limit the use of technology when communicating with others. Technological ways of communicating quickly and without human presence such as texting or emailing play an important role in life, but it is not the only way of communication. Take the time to connect with others through face-to-face meetings or uninterrupted calls. Alternatively, you can send a handwritten letter instead of an email and surprise someone with your kindness by taking the time to write a letter on paper.
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Become a good listener . Listening is easy said but hard to do, especially when you live in a world full of hustle and bustle, where rush and busyness are appreciated, and interrupting others because of too much work or rush. Running somewhere is also considered normal. However, making busyness a habit cannot be an excuse for being unkind. When you’re talking to someone, learn to listen with full awareness and really pay attention to the speaker until they’ve shared all of their thoughts and stories.

  • Really listening, making eye contact, avoiding distractions, and spending time with someone are the greatest acts of kindness. Take the time to listen and understand what the speaker has to say before interrupting or responding with a prepared response. You should let the speaker know that you understand their situation and are willing to listen.
  • Being a good listener doesn’t mean being good at solving problems. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be there to listen and admit that you don’t know what the speaker should do.
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Optimistic. Happiness, joy, and gratitude are the sparks of kindness, helping you see the good in others and the world around you, and empowering you to overcome all challenges, despair, and destruction. the patience you have to witness or go through, continually reinforcing your faith in humanity. Staying positive is a way to ensure that your acts of kindness are done with joy and glee, rather than done grudgingly or out of responsibility. Besides, a sense of humor helps you to be less strict with yourself and to see the opposites and contradictions in life with a spirit of goodwill.

  • Staying positive isn’t always easy, especially when you’re having a bad day. With practice, however, anyone can cultivate optimism by focusing on the positive instead of the negative, thinking about future happiness, and living life with more joy than sadness. No one is taxing when you’re always looking on the bright side of things.
  • Being optimistic and positive not only helps you to have the right perception of kindness, but also brings joy to those around you. If you spend too much time complaining, you will have a hard time bringing happiness to the people in your life.
  • Learn how to be happy, how to be funny, and how to express gratitude to foster optimism.
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Image titled Be Kind Step 14

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Friendly. Kind people are often friendly too. This doesn’t mean they are the easiest people to get along with, but they often try to get to know new people and help them feel comfortable in their new surroundings. If you meet a new student at school or a new colleague at work, try to strike up a conversation with that person, introduce relevant topics, and invite them to community events. Even if you’re not an easy person, smiling and talking to people will make you much friendlier, and your kindness will leave a deep impression.

  • Friendly people are usually kind because they want the best for others. They chat with new or new acquaintances carefree, making the other person feel extremely comfortable.
  • If you’re a shy person, you don’t need to completely change your personality. Instead, you just need to put more effort into being kind to others by paying attention, asking, and caring about them.
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Image titled Be Kind Step 15

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Polite. While being polite doesn’t necessarily mean being kind in itself, the sincerity of your polite behavior will show your respect to the other person. Being polite is a kind way to get other people’s attention and express your point of view. Some simple ways to be polite include:

  • Find other ways to express your request or response to others. For example, say “Am I allowed?” instead of “Can I?”; say “I’m surprised” instead of “It’s not fair”; say “Let me explain it another way” instead of “That’s not what I said”. Changing the wording says a lot.
  • Standard behavior. Keep the door open to others, avoid being rude, and don’t be too intimate with someone you’re meeting for the first time.
  • Praise others sincerely.
  • Learn how to be polite and kind to know what you should do.
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Grateful. Truly kind people are often comfortable expressing gratitude. They don’t take what they have for granted and always thank others for helping them. They know how to say “thank you” sincerely, they write thank you cards, and they freely admit that they are helped. Grateful people also thank others for small things like someone bringing joy to them, instead of just saying thank you for help with getting things done. If you become more aware of the habit of being grateful to those around you, you will also find yourself becoming kinder.

  • When you notice the good that people around you do for you, you will be more willing to be kind to others. In addition, you also feel more deeply about the good that other people’s kindness brings to you and want to spread love.

Act

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Love animals and the environment. Loving animals and taking good care of them is an act of kindness. You may not need to care about the survival of other species, especially in these times when the tools of human domination are so powerful. However, the act of loving and appreciating animals for their value shows profound kindness. Likewise, it is meaningful and kind to protect the living environment that prolongs and nourishes our lives; make sure not to harm any of the elements that give us a healthy life.

  • Adopt a pet. Your kindness will be rewarded with joy and love from the little creature you have brought into your life.
  • Help your friends take care of their pets when they are away. Let your friends feel secure knowing someone loves and cares about their pet when they’re not at home.
  • Respect the animals you are caring for. Humans do not “own” animals; on the contrary, we have a responsibility to take care of their lives.
  • Take the time to get involved in local regeneration with your local community. Go for a nature walk with family and friends, or go it alone, and stick with the habitat you are a part of. Share the love of nature with others to renew their connection with nature.
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Share. Kind people are happy to share with others. You can share your favorite sweater, half a delicious loaf of bread, or career advice with your younger peers. It’s important that you share what you really care about, instead of giving away what you don’t need anymore. It makes a lot more sense to lend your friend your favorite sweater instead of giving her an old extra that you never wear. Sharing with others will make you more generous and kinder.

  • Be mindful of the benefits others get from your items. They don’t always ask for them, but you can proactively make an offer before they admit that they need something from you.
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Laugh more. Smiling is a small gesture but full of kindness and brings many benefits. Get in the habit of smiling at strangers, friends or acquaintances. While you don’t have to go around with a smile on your face, smiling at others not only makes them return your smile, but also brings a little joy to them. Moreover, the smile will trick your mind, making you feel happier than before. Everyone benefits when you smile and you will gradually become kinder.

  • When you smile at someone, they feel more at ease and it also makes you appear friendlier – another way to be kind. Receiving others thoughtfully, even trusting strangers by smiling at them, is also a way to be kind.
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Caring about everyone. Really nice people genuinely care about others. They don’t treat others kindly just because they want to get what they want or because they want to ask for help. They do it because they really care about others and want everyone around them to be happy and healthy. To be kinder, try to be considerate to others and let them feel it through your kindness, thoughtfulness, greetings, and attention to them. Here are a few ways to interest people:

  • Sincerely inquire about everyone’s situation.
  • Get to know other people’s interests, interests, and families.
  • If someone you care about has just experienced a major life event, it’s a good idea to ask how things are going.
  • If your acquaintance is about to take part in an important exam or interview, send them well wishes.
  • When talking to other people, remember to give them the opportunity to talk as much as you do. Do not monopolize the conversation, you should focus more on the other person instead of yourself.
  • Make eye contact and don’t use your phone when you’re talking to other people. Let them know that they are your number one priority.
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Calling a friend for no reason at all. You don’t always need a reason to call a good friend. Make it a goal to call one or two friends a week to check in and update them on how they’re doing. Don’t call to make plans or ask the friend for anything specific; call because you miss them and think about them. Unexpected contact with friends will make them feel cared for and you will feel better; This shows kindness and thoughtfulness.

  • If you don’t have much time, you can start the habit of calling your friends on their birthdays. Don’t be lazy and text or post on Facebook, call your friends and have a sincere chat.
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Image titled Be Kind Step 22

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Donations. Donating your belongings to charity is also an act of kindness. Instead of throwing your old things away or selling them cheaply at the thrift market, donate items you no longer use to a good cause. If you have clothes, books, or household items in good condition, making it a habit to donate to charity instead of filling them up or throwing them away is a great way to spread your kindness to others. .

  • If you have clothes or books that someone you know needs, don’t hesitate to hand them over. This is another way to be kind.
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Perform acts of kindness spontaneously. Princess Diana once said, “Do an act of kindness spontaneously without expecting anything in return, one day someone will surely do the same to you.” Spontaneous acts of kindness are still alive and well as a conscious effort to spread kindness; There are even groups formed to carry out this basic civic duty! Here are a few suggestions for spontaneous acts of kindness that you can take:

  • Sweep up trash in front of your house and neighbors’ houses.
  • Help your friends wash the car.
  • Pay for someone’s parking.
  • Help someone else carry a big bag.
  • Put a gift on someone’s doorstep.
  • Learn more for ideas for spontaneous acts of kindness.
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    Image titled Be Kind Step 24

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    Change your life with kindness. Changing your lifestyle and outlook on life can be daunting. But remember Aldous Huxley’s advice on changing your life: “People often ask me the most effective way to change their lives. It’s embarrassing after years of research and testing. , I have to say that the best answer is just – be kinder. ” [11] X Piero Ferrucci Research Source , <i>The power of kindness</i>, p. 11 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 Remember Huxley’s years of research and let kindness change your life, helping you to overcome the emotions and actions that stemmed from aggression, hatred, contempt, anger, fear, and self-loathing, and restore strength lost to despair.

    • By being kind, you make a strong statement that caring for others, your surroundings, and yourself is the right way to live. [12] X Research source Piero Ferrucci, <i>The power of kindness</i> (The value of kindness), p. 271 (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4 It’s not about the immediate effect; Kindness is a lifestyle choice, the hum and rhythm that resonates in all your actions and thoughts.
    • By being kind, you release the burden of worrying that others have more than you, are not as worthy or worthy of you, or are in a higher or lower position than you. Instead, kindness helps you realize that everyone has their value, and so do you.
    • By being kind, you realize that we are all connected. When you harm someone, you are also harming yourself. What you do to help others will also support you.
  • Advice

    • Saying hello to everyone you meet, from the salesperson to your boss, brightens up your surroundings and puts everyone at ease. Do that every day.
    • You may not like everyone and that is normal; Even the kindest people in the world get angry at times! Even so, please continue to be polite.
    • Try not to hurt others physically or mentally. Self-control is important in many situations.

    Warning

    • If you’re really angry and upset about someone, remember that being kind will make the other person appreciate you more than trying to resist a wrongdoing. People can come up with enough excuses to justify a wrongdoing, but the feeling of being kindly forgiven is what makes them hard to forget.
    • Make sure your gesture of kindness is needed. Sometimes unnecessary help can backfire, so there’s an old saying “please hold a grudge”. There are times when we think we are helping, but in reality we can cause trouble if we don’t have enough information about the problem.
    • Don’t talk about the good things you’ve done; be humble. Doing good things just to be praised by everyone around is not kind. Helping someone who doesn’t know your support will also feel great.
    X

    This article was co-written by Sandra Possing. Sandra Possing is a life coach, speaker, and entrepreneur based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sandra specializes in one-on-one coaching with a focus on transforming mindsets and leadership. Sandra is coach trained from the Coach Training Institute and has seven years of life coaching experience. She holds a bachelor’s degree in anthropology from the University of California, Los Angeles.

    There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 70,061 times.

    Being kind is the fundamental way to give meaning to our lives. Not only that, kindness also brings joy to those around us. Being kind helps us to communicate better, have deeper compassion and also create a positive force in one’s life. Kindness is a pure thing hidden deep inside of you, and besides those who are kind from birth, anyone can choose to nurture their inherent kindness.

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