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This article was co-written by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a psychologist working for a private company in San Jose, CA. He specializes in helping successful but troubled people in love and marriage, reduce stress and anxiety, and help them be happier in life. In 2016, he gave a TED talk on men and men’s feelings. He is the co-founder of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook’s headquarters, and currently advises Digital Ocean to support their Safety Team. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology in 2008.
This article has been viewed 55,067 times.
Friendly people are always welcoming when meeting new people, seem easy to get along with friends and acquaintances, and are the kind of people who often strike up conversations with people on the plane, in line at the supermarket or on the bus. Do you find it difficult to be like that? It’s not necessarily difficult. Being friendly means that you make other people feel comfortable around you – you really enjoy talking to them, for example. So how to be friendly? See the steps below.
Steps
Become approachable
- You can also aim to laugh more during the conversation.
- Practice smiling every day even when you are alone. The act of smiling – even if you’re trying to smile instead of naturally smiling – causes your brain to release chemicals that make you feel good and mentally refreshed. [1] X Research Source
- Place your feet flat instead of crossing each other
- Sit/stand straight instead of stooping
- Place your hands on either side of your body instead of crossing your arms in front of your chest
- Point your body towards the person you are talking to
- It’s not polite to focus on using the phone , especially when you’re taking the initiative to start a conversation with someone else.
- If it’s just you and another person in the hallway, why don’t you look that person in the eye and say hello instead of looking at the ground or pretending to enjoy looking at your fingernails?
- Smile and laugh more cheerfully? Well, these are two important factors.
Practice friendly conversation
- Some people think that gossip is completely superficial, but that is not the case. Good friendships and relationships often start with small talk. You can’t immediately discuss the meaning of life with someone you just met, right?
- You can also chat with the staff at the front desk at check-out to show your friendliness. Comment on the weather, talk about something delicious you’ve tried, or compliment the jewelry the person is wearing. This will make you feel happier and the day will go by faster.
- Like any other skill, you need practice to be good at small talk. Try to practice small talk throughout the day. You can start by asking a question (“Have you read this book? Is it good?”) or commenting on something (“Wow, the flowers are blooming! Spring is finally here!” ).
- Pet
- Favorite football team
- Interest
- Favorite band, book or movie
- Favorite food and drink
- Family
- Weekend trips
- Study and work stories
- What they strive to achieve in life
- Favorite vacation or place they want to go.
- When talking to someone, ask yourself what distinguishing feature of that person makes you want to compliment? That way, you’ll quickly know what to compliment.
- If the person you just met introduces you by name, saying their name once or twice during a conversation will help you remember the name the next time you see them.
- If you don’t hold the door open for others, don’t smile when they smile at you, and avoid looking in the direction of strangers even when they’re standing right next to you, you’re behaving rudely without even realizing it.
- Just a friendly gesture or a welcoming attitude can help you connect with others very effectively. Saying “thank you” or opening the door for someone to brighten up the day or perhaps even lead to an intimate conversation.
- You don’t have to pretend to be someone else in order to avoid discussing difficult issues during the conversation.
- Try to avoid controversial topics like religion or politics.
- Of course, if something terrible happens to you or if you feel like venting, feel free to talk about it. However, try to add at least three positive things in addition to one negative so that you stay positive.
- Childhood pet
- Memorable vacation
- A prank you did to your brother/sister
- A funny mistake you made
- Something you’ve always wanted to do
- The experience of doing something strange for the first time
- A story about your family
Improve communication strategy
- You don’t have to start a conversation with every stranger you meet, but the more times you do it, the more comfortable you’ll feel.
- Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know. When meeting friends, if someone in the group brings new people, you should actively get to know them.
- Be courageous. Ask people you know to hang out and move from casual relationships to close friendships.
- Party organizing. Invite a group of friends with different personalities to the party and feel free to introduce them to each other.
- You don’t have to accept participating in events that seem scary. When you want to decline an invitation, though, ask yourself what prompted you to make that decision. Are you afraid to try new things? Fear of communication? Or feel lazy? All of which is not a good reason to miss out on a great experience.
- To lead an active life, you need to prioritize socializing. Don’t let work, study or other constraints get in the way – it doesn’t have to be absolute, just not too much.
- Having a busy social life is important, but you should also remember to make time for yourself. You need to relax, especially if you’re not used to spending so much time with other people.
- Make a list of five people with whom you often act cold. Then, find a way to be nice to each person in that group even if they don’t deserve it. Tolerance is the key to being more friendly. Holding a grudge can make you angry on the inside and affect your outward attitude.
- Of course, overcoming your insecurities takes a long time, but recognizing this as the cause of the problem can help you open your heart to be more welcoming to others. Remember that other people feel just as insecure as you, maybe even more.
- If your insecurities about social situations are so severe that they interfere with your daily life, you should talk to a counselor or mental health professional.
- For example, if you are a young mother, you will join a group of young mothers and gradually make wonderful new friends.
- Of course, you can’t take care of everyone around you. However, the more you try to be nice to others, the more naturally you will show it.
- Remember that friendliness is not synonymous with pretense. Instead, everything will include being approachable, treating others with respect, and radiating positive energy.
- If you’re around happy people, other people will feel comfortable reaching out even if you’re around friends or acquaintances.
- When you’re around people who are violent and/or rude, you’ll make others wary of approaching or talking to you because they’re afraid to face those around you; or others will think that you are like those people because you go with them.
Advice
- Don’t be afraid. Just say hello to people you haven’t seen in a while. Stay in touch with those people; This will impress them.
- Look at yourself in the mirror and think positive thoughts about your appearance. If you love yourself, others will do the same.
- Think about loving people you haven’t seen in a long time. This creates positive language and gestures that help others bring out their best. (Others are just as friendly as you are.)
- Do not behave rudely or insult others; Remember to be kind and polite.
- Everyone has a unique interest, such as a hobby, pet, or band. Try to find common interests with the people you meet.
- Always honest and caring. Explore other people’s passions with open-ended questions.
- Try to be friendly with everyone, not just the people you want to be friends with.
Warning
- If you are too friendly, you will make other people shy. This will make them feel scared and have a negative first impression of you.
- Be careful with your sense of humour. Telling a story that makes you happy doesn’t mean everyone will laugh. You can also easily anger others without even knowing it. What you consider funny or ‘joke’ can sometimes easily upset others. This can cause problems at work or in other settings, such as at a community club or school.
This article was co-written by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a psychologist working for a private company in San Jose, CA. He specializes in helping successful but troubled people in love and marriage, reduce stress and anxiety, and help them be happier in life. In 2016, he gave a TED talk on men and men’s feelings. He is the co-founder of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook’s headquarters, and currently advises Digital Ocean to support their Safety Team. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology in 2008.
This article has been viewed 55,067 times.
Friendly people are always welcoming when meeting new people, seem easy to get along with friends and acquaintances, and are the kind of people who often strike up conversations with people on the plane, in line at the supermarket or on the bus. Do you find it difficult to be like that? It’s not necessarily difficult. Being friendly means that you make other people feel comfortable around you – you really enjoy talking to them, for example. So how to be friendly? See the steps below.
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