How to Be Empathetic

Empathy involves the process of trying to understand someone’s problem from a different perspective than based on your own. Even if you are struggling in this process, you can support your friends and loved ones by learning how to show empathy. You can take the following steps to do this, and along with keeping your doubts or negative reactions to yourself, you will find that you can develop a more genuine sense of empathy. expectation.

Table of Contents

Expressing Sympathy

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Give the other person an opportunity to talk about their feelings. You should ask to hear about their feelings, or how they are trying to deal with their problems. You don’t have to have a ready-made solution to their problem. Sometimes, listening with empathy is a great help.

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Use body language to show empathy. Even when you’re listening to the other person, you can show them that you really care and sympathize with them through your body language. You should face the other side instead of the other direction. ^{[1] X Research Sources}^{[2] X Research Sources}

Don’t try to multitask, and stay away from any distractions during the conversation. If possible, you should turn off your phone to avoid interruptions. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Maintain open body language by not crossing your legs or arms. You can relax your arms to the sides of your body. ^{[4] X Research Sources} This method will help convey the message that you are paying attention to the other person.
Lean towards the person. This will make them feel more comfortable talking to you. ^{[5] X Research Sources}
Nod when the person is speaking. Nodding and other encouraging gestures will help the other person feel more comfortable during the conversation. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Imitate the other person’s body language. This doesn’t mean that you need to copy the person’s every move exactly, but rather form the same body posture as the person (for example, face the person when they are facing you, keeping your feet pointed in the same direction as the person) helps to create an atmosphere of sympathy. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Listen first and comment later. In many cases, the person just needs you to listen as they proceed to explore their feelings and thoughts. This is an act of empathy, even if you don’t feel that it’s positive or helpful. ^{[8] X Sources of Research} Usually, if you give advice when someone isn’t asking, you risk making the person feel as though you’re trying to make their experience your own. ^{[9] X Research Source}

“Listening without offering solutions,” as author Michael Rooni puts it, will allow you to provide your partner with a safe place to vent and process your feelings. You don’t have to make them feel forced to follow your advice, or like you’re “taking over” their problem or situation.
If in doubt, you can ask, “I want to help you when you need it. Do you want me to help you with your problem, or do you just need a place to vent? Because even so. I will always be there for you.” ^{[10] X Research Source}
If you’ve had a similar experience, you can help your partner by offering practical advice or coping strategies. You should present your advice as if it were personal experience, not an imperative. For example: “I’m so sorry you broke your leg. I know how bad this can be because I broke my ankle a few years ago too. Would you like me to share how that was? I have made to deal with it or not?”
Make sure you don’t act like you’re ordering the person to take a particular course of action. If you want to give advice and the other person is excited to know about it, you can phrase it as a probing question, such as “Have you ever considered _____?” or “Do you think it would be better if you_____?”. These types of questions will show recognition of the other person’s decision-making abilities and appear less bossy than saying “If I were you, I would _______.” ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Use appropriate physical contact. Physical contact can be quite comforting, but only if it fits the scope of your relationship. If you’re used to embracing someone in need of empathy, you can proceed. If either of you is not comfortable with this, simply touch the person’s arm or shoulder lightly. ^{[12] X Research Source}

It should be remembered that some people may be feeling emotionally vulnerable or in pain to the point of not being able to enjoy the feeling of a hug right away, even if hugging is a fairly common practice in the world. the interaction of the two. You should pay attention to the other person’s body language and judge whether they are opening up or not. You can also ask, “Does a hug make you feel better?”.

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Offer to help him with his daily chores. Someone who is going through a difficult time in life would certainly be grateful for the support of others with their day-to-day work. Even if the person seems to handle them pretty well, this gesture will show that you’re always there to help. You can ask them to allow you to bring food that you cook from home or buy from a restaurant to their home. Ask them if you can help them pick up the kids after school, or water the person’s garden, or provide other support. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Mention a specific time when you will be available to help the person, instead of asking when they will need you. This will save them from having to think and make decisions during stressful times.
Ask for advice before ordering food. In certain cultures or after a funeral, the person may have quite a bit of food left in the house. You’re better off helping them do other work.

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Based on the religion you both share. If you both share the same religion or share a common spiritual outlook, you can use this to build a bond with that person. Offer to pray for the person or attend a service with them.

Do not include your own religious views in the process of expressing sympathy for those who do not share the same.

Avoid Some Common Mistakes

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Avoid claiming that you know or understand the problem the person is going through. Even if you’ve had a similar experience, keep in mind that each person will have a different approach to coping. You can describe how you felt during the experience or offer helpful advice, but keep in mind that the person may be struggling differently than you. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Instead, you should say something like, “I can only try to imagine how hard this is for you. I was so sad when my dog passed away.”
Most importantly, never claim that your problem is more serious than that person’s (even if you really feel that way). You are there to support that person.

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Avoid downplaying or refuting the other person’s feelings. You need to be aware that the problem they are facing is real. Focus on listening to them and helping them deal with them, rather than telling them they’re not worth worrying about. ^{[15] X Research Source}

Try not to inadvertently understate or refute the person’s experience. For example, if you’re comforting a friend who’s lost her pet by saying, “I’m sorry you lost your dog. At least it’s not so bad – you can lost a family member,” you’re dismissing the person’s grief for their pet, even if you don’t mean it. This may cause them to become hesitant to share their feelings with you, or even feel ashamed of themselves. ^{[16] X Research Source}
Another example of denial is the well-meaning “Don’t think so”. For example, if your friend is having trouble with her body image after going through an illness and tells you that they find her unattractive, you shouldn’t respond by saying: “Don’t think so! You’re still so pretty”. This will make the person think they are “wrong” or “bad” for having this thought. You can acknowledge their feelings without agreeing with it. For example: “I heard you say that you don’t find yourself attractive, and I’m sorry this has hurt you. It must have been terrible. But I honestly think you still look very attractive.” ^{[17] X Research Source}
Similarly, don’t say “at least it’s not as bad as everything else you’re experiencing”. ^{[18] X Source of Research} This statement will be seen as a rejection of the person’s problem and also as a reminder of other problems that the person is facing in life.

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Avoid expressing personal beliefs that the other person does not share. The person may not feel comfortable with this type of statement, or they may feel offended. They will often feel emotionless or “lost freedom”. It’s better if you keep your focus on the person you’re interacting with and the actions you can take for them. ^{[19] X Research Source}

For example, you may be someone with strong religious beliefs and you believe in an afterlife, but that person does not. Your instincts may want to say something like “At least now, the person you love is in a better place”, but that person may not receive any consolation. from this.

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Do not force the person to use the solution you offer. You can bring up a course of action that you think might be helpful to the person, but you shouldn’t stress the person by constantly mentioning it. You may think this is a pretty obvious and easy solution, but you should also understand that the other person may not agree with them.

Once you’ve made your point, don’t repeat it. You can refer to it again when something new comes out. For example, “I know you don’t want to use painkillers, but I’ve heard of a safer and less side effect drug you can take. Would you like to know its name for you? Can I do more research on my own? If the person refuses, don’t continue talking about it.

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Maintain calm and kindness. You might think that the person’s problems are trivial and not as serious as yours. You might even become jealous of someone because their problems are so petty. This is not the right time to raise this issue, and you never will have the opportunity to do so. It’s best to politely say goodbye and leave the place, instead of expressing your displeasure.

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Don’t be difficult or disinterested. Many people think that “falling in love” is an effective therapy technique, but this is the exact opposite of showing empathy. If someone is distressed or sad for a long period of time, they can become depressed. In this case, the person should see a doctor or therapist; trying to help them become “tougher” or “move up” would not be the right course of action. ^{[20] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

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Do not offend that person. This may seem pretty understandable, but during times of stress, it can be easy to lose control of your emotions. If you find yourself arguing with the person, insulting the person, or criticizing their behavior, you should leave the place and apologize once you have calmed down.

You should also not joke in a way that offends someone in need of sympathy. They may feel weak and vulnerable.

Use Useful Words

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Be aware of an event or problem. Use the following statements to explain why you would approach someone in need of empathy if you learned about the issue from someone else. If the person initiates a conversation, you can respond with a statement that shows your awareness of how they are feeling.

“I’m sorry”.
“I hear you’re having a hard time.”
“That sounds painful.”

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Ask the person about their process of dealing with problems. Some people respond to stress or grief by keeping themselves busy. They may not have taken the time to think about their emotional state. Look them in the eye and use a statement that makes it clear that you’re asking about how they’re feeling, not about their day-to-day life:

“How do you feel?”
“How are things going?”

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Show a supportive attitude. You should make it clear that you will always be with the person. Mention a friend or loved one who can help them, reminding them that people will always be there when they need it:

“I’m always thinking about you”.
“I’ll be there whenever you need me”.
“I will be contacting you this weekend to help you with _____”.
Avoid using the popular “You remember to let me know if you need me to do anything”. This statement will make the other person think about something they can count on for your help and they may not be able to do this during a difficult time.

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Let your partner know that it’s okay to express your feelings. Many people often have difficulty expressing emotions, or feel like they are experiencing the “wrong” emotion. You can use these phrases to let them know that this is completely normal:

“You can cry if you want.”
“You can do anything you want right now.”
“You can totally feel guilty” (or angry, or whatever emotion the person has just expressed).

Advice

If you’re not skilled at expressing feelings or sympathy, just trying can show someone you love that you’re doing your best for them.
Empathy is completely different from sympathy. When you express sympathy, you are providing concern and concern for the other person’s suffering, but you don’t necessarily feel it. When you empathize, you’re actively visualizing that you’re in the other person’s shoes – essentially, you’re trying to “put yourself in the other person’s shoes”. You can try to imagine how the person is feeling so you can better understand them. ^{[21] X Research Sources} Neither is “better” than the other, but knowing the difference will help.

Steps

Expressing Sympathy

Avoid Some Common Mistakes

Use Useful Words

Advice

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