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This article was co-written by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a relationship consultant, matchmaker, and owner of Stef in the City, a lovemaking and consulting business with a hands-on and honest approach. Stefanie identifies herself as “Chicago’s Introductionista®” because she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been covered in many media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, Refinery29 and so on. She holds an MBA in marketing and branding from Loypa University in addition to a bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
There are 28 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
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Self-confidence depends on many different factors, including appearance. [1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source Misperceptions about appearance can cause major problems, appearance concerns, excessive grooming, and excessive effort to improve appearance. pictures, or is socially isolated (eg, staying indoors, hating photography, etc.). [2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source In severe cases, the person may develop a chronic mental illness such as an inferiority complex or an eating disorder or a disregard for society around them. . [3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source In milder cases, lack of self-esteem can affect psychological well-being and interest in daily activities. Whatever the reason, understanding and boosting your self-esteem is important to your overall psychological well-being.
Steps
Improve Appearance Confidence
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Identify the cause of your lack of confidence. Pointing out why you lack confidence can help you get in touch with your emotions. Start writing your “confident” journey, which records when you were confident and lacked confidence in your appearance. After one to two weeks, review your notes and try to shape your feelings.
- Do you feel more confident in the following situations: spending more time grooming or getting ready, dressing in a particular style, being in a small group, being with a particular individual, spending less time on social media or follow celebrities? [4] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Is there a “bigger” issue, such as your professional status or a personal problem, that causes you to lack confidence? Some people turn this feeling of anxiety into a personal awareness that is easier to deal with than the “bigger” personal or work security issue. [5] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- If you can’t find what’s causing you to lack confidence, here are some tips you can follow to see what works best.
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Pay attention to body image perception. Dr Vivian Diller has a number of different cognitive behavioral techniques to improve self-esteem, titled “beauty self-esteem”. [6] X Research Resources These techniques focus on assessing the source of your self-esteem, looking at negative opinions about your appearance, and thinking of ways to help you think more positively.
- Focus, sit up straight, and follow these steps to improve confidence. [7] X Research Sources
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Write down the positive traits. Write 3 things about your appearance and 3 things about your personality that you like best. List them in descending order of importance and write one sentence about each of the above. For example, “I help people. Every week, I volunteer at a local charity and call friends immediately when I need to talk.”
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Analysis of positive characteristics. It should be noted that the rank of physical traits is related to personality traits; People often put personality traits above physical appearance, emphasizing that not only is self-esteem affected by perceived personality, but so are other people’s opinions of us.
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List the best characteristics. Write down 3 physical features you consider most attractive, and write a sentence describing them. For example, “Long wavy hair – especially when I got home from the hairdresser, it looks so thick and bouncy” or “Broad shoulders, especially when my girlfriend leans on my shoulder”.
- This exercise shows that everyone has traits to be proud of. You can honor them by choosing clothes.
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Look in the mirror. Look at yourself in the mirror and see what you think. Are those words your own or someone else’s? Whose words are those: bullies, parents or friends?
- Consider the accuracy of your words: Are your muscles really smaller than other people’s? Are your hips really big? Are you too tall compared to others? Are the above really the problem?
- Think about how to talk to your friends. The difference in self-talk, and how to make yourself think positively instead of the critical and negative tone you intend to use.
- From now on, look for the things you like about yourself, every time you look at yourself in the mirror, look at those traits instead of the dislikes that you tend to notice.
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Media skepticism. You should remember that the body the media portrays is designed to make you feel less confident in yourself, causing you to buy new products and clothes. More than just body images, they are often edited with Photoshop software. People who realize this and are media savvy have better self-awareness. [8] X Research Sources[9] X Research Sources
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Create your own positive thoughts. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about your appearance, stop yourself and reframe it in a positive way. For example, if you think your nose is too big, stop and remind yourself that you have a strong and unique angle. If you think you’re overweight, think about those amazing curves and make a lifestyle change plan.
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Continue your journey of confidence. Every night before you go to bed, write down 3 positive things about yourself. Read it again in the morning and write 2 more things. Do this every day. The more positive thoughts you have about yourself, the higher your self-esteem will be.
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Seek advice. If you continue to think negative thoughts, you can see a therapist. Thinking about your physical appearance can be linked to a deep awareness problem you weren’t aware of, and consulting a professional can improve your self-esteem.
Change style
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Wear clothes that make you comfortable. The clothes you wear affect your self-esteem. For example, wearing a superhero costume can increase confidence and make many people feel stronger; women who wear sweaters do better on math tests in a swimsuit; or a white shirt will make people have a “smart mind”. [10] X Research Source
- Focus on clothes that make you comfortable, such as a light sweater, your favorite jeans, a suit with a bow (or something professional looking).
- Check out the wardrobes and make sure they match your style. If not then you need to go shopping now! If you don’t like shopping in public or don’t know what suits your style, you can use a service to choose clothes and have them delivered to your door or find an online store that offers a free return policy. easy fees.
- Wear colors you like. Doing so will help improve your mood. If you can’t decide on a color you like, choose blue because everyone has a positive reaction to this color. [11] X Research Source
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Wear clothes that highlight the body features you like. Find clothes that fit you when you look in the mirror because they fit your body size or come with accessories that accentuate your features. There is no perfect body size but you must choose clothes that fit your body size. Choose clothes that fit your body to make you look great. [12] X Research Source
- If you are too thin, you should not wear dark colors, wear light clothes. Slim women should create curves using belts. [13] X Research Source Small men should avoid wearing baggy clothes to make their figure bigger, wearing one-size-fits-all will make you look dashing. [14] X Research Source
- If you have wide shoulders and narrow hips, avoid patterned scarves (which draw attention to the shoulders), shirts with accents on the shoulders, or shoes that are small compared to your body size. pants that make your hips look bigger, and wear heels or zipped boots to draw attention to your legs.
- If you have a pear-shaped body, you should wear light or textured colors on the top and dark colors without textures on the bottom, avoid wearing horizontal stripes, especially at the bottom. [15] X Research Source
- If you have a round body, avoid using a lot of material in the middle of the body, waist, short skirts above the knee, wear textures at the top to highlight the body circles.
- If you have a curvy body, try wearing clothes that are tight at the waist but comfortable in the upper and lower body. They will accentuate your curves. [16] X Research Source
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Wear the right size clothes or go for tailoring. Wearing clothes that fit will give you more confidence in your appearance, even if it’s not your preferred size.
- Order clothes that are the right size. If you are a very tall and thin man, you need to order the Size Tall Fit online instead of shopping at the store because if it fits the length it will be too big for you.
- Sew clothes to fit both length and width. Tailors know how to accentuate (e.g. fold the fabric to create a relief) an outfit to highlight the customer’s physical features.
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Apply appropriate lipstick. Wearing lipstick is not only about choosing the right lipstick color, but you also have to treat your lips as part of your appearance by exfoliating (mixing salt and almond oil) and applying it to your lips twice a week. Makeup artists make the following lipstick recommendations: [17] X Research Source
- Do not use lip gloss and glitter because they look cheap.
- Choose a light lipstick based on your lip color (for example, pale lips choose cherry pink, natural lips choose cranberry, dark lips choose burgundy red).
- Choose a nude color based on your skin tone (choose a shade lighter or darker than your skin tone).
- Do not choose blue or black because they make you look older, heavier and more scary (like a vampire).
- No need to line your lips, but if you use it, you must choose a color that matches your lips, not a lipstick color.
- Apply lipstick gently and then smudge the lip line for a gentle effect.
- Apply lipstick from the center of the lips and then apply evenly to the corners, carefully applying lipstick directly to the corners of the mouth.
- Apply darker on the lower lip then purse the lips so that the upper lip color is lighter.
- Apply lipstick once, blot with a tissue, then apply again to make the lipstick last longer.
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Makeup based on face shape. While makeup isn’t for everyone, makeup artists can improve their self-image by learning makeup to boost their confidence in their appearance. Just like with clothes, the purpose of makeup is to match the shape (face) and draw attention to the features you want to highlight. To determine your face shape, tie your hair back and look at your hairline and chin in the mirror: [18] X Research Source
- A heart-shaped face (wide forehead and pointed chin) should focus on makeup on the chin area and lightly tone the cheekbones and apply lipstick.
- Round faces (forehead and bottom face are the same width) should make up cheeks and eyes (eg smoky eye).
- Square faces (jawbone and hairline) should use light tones on the skin, mouth and eyes to soften facial features.
- Oval faces (forehead and bottom face are the same width and length) should be applied horizontally and pressed on the eyes and lips to reduce the length of the face.
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For the right hairstyle. The right haircut from a stylist at the hair salon can help you feel more confident in your appearance and stay on trend. Just like makeup, the key to a good hairstyle is face shape: [19] X Research Source
- Heart-shaped faces should have diagonal bangs and chin-length hair to make the face more round.
- Round faces should be parted in the middle or slightly skewed and “layered hair” to reduce the fullness of the face.
- Square faces should have “layered hair” and parted side to draw attention to the cheekbones.
- Oval faces suit all hairstyles because styling other faces is meant to look more like an oval face.
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Preparation. Taking care of your appearance and taking care of yourself can help boost self-confidence, just follow these few tips: [20] X Research Source
- Trim nails neatly (both sexes should do). Don’t forget to clean your nails.
- Brush your teeth several times a day, especially after eating foods that are likely to stain your teeth.
- Bring a clean, damp towel to wipe off makeup, sunscreen, and sweat, or relax after hours of stress. Remember to wash your face every day to keep your skin clean.
- Use an anti-aging moisturizer, sunscreen, and concealer.
- Use your fingers (instead of a brush) for a more realistic feel when applying makeup, the makeup will be more natural.
- You can use nail polish. Even those who went through the 80s, they are more accepting of today’s society than you think.
- Use deodorant and antiperspirant regularly
- Use natural oils (eg avocado, coconut or almond) to moisturize skin and hair.
Improve Quality of Life
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Choose you wisely. Pay attention to your friends and feelings. Surround yourself with people who won’t criticize or judge you because this can have a negative effect on your body image. [21] X Research Source
- Friends can help you work towards your health and fitness goals, making you more confident about your appearance. Find a friend to exercise or go hiking with.
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Smile and laugh as much as you can. As with the simple and real sound of laughter, smiling, even when you’re forced to, can help you de-stress and feel more confident. [22] X Research Sources Furthermore, people will find you approachable and trustworthy. [23] X Trusted Source Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Go to source
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Receive praise. If you get a compliment, don’t hesitate to take it! [24] X Research Sources If you’re unsure about your appearance, you may feel shy about being complimented, and reacting with anxiety can backfire. For example, if someone compliments a shirt you wear, you can tell them that this shirt is a last resort, you’re wearing it just because your clothes haven’t been washed. This is a sign of anxiety about appearance and it can make you and your partner feel uncomfortable. Instead, say thank you and enjoy the compliments you receive.
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Exercise regularly. It’s not known whether exercise will change your appearance, but it will change your perception of yourself, which can boost self-esteem. A nationwide survey of physical activity and weight has shown that people who are dissatisfied with their body size are generally not physically active people. This finding suggests that hard physical exercise has a positive effect on self-image [25] X Research Source
- The level of exercise should be enough to motivate you to complete and need to be done regularly. However, you don’t need to do intensive exercises or complete them in a certain amount of time.
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Healthy diet. Foods high in carbohydrates and sugar can make you sluggish and affect your mood. Foods that can improve mood are foods that are low in fat and release energy slowly. These foods provide energy for a long time and do not cause weight gain, bloating, irritability; They also help strengthen hair and nails, improving your overall self-image. [26] X Research Sources
- Do not eat foods that are high in sugar, fried, or processed. [27] X Research Source
- Eat plenty of nuts and seeds, beans, fresh fruits and vegetables, especially produce with rich and vibrant colors. [28] X Research Sources
Advice
- You need to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself.
- Saying positive and confident things out loud can help you feel more confident.
- If people insult you, remember that they are just showing their negative side, and the words are more true to them than to you.
- Be honest with yourself and find what makes you comfortable and confident.
- Try not to compare yourself to others.
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This article was co-written by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a relationship consultant, matchmaker, and owner of Stef in the City, a lovemaking and consulting business with a hands-on and honest approach. Stefanie identifies herself as “Chicago’s Introductionista®” because she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been covered in many media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, Refinery29 and so on. She holds an MBA in marketing and branding from Loypa University in addition to a bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
There are 28 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,702 times.
Self-confidence depends on many different factors, including appearance. [1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source Misperceptions about appearance can cause major problems, appearance concerns, excessive grooming, and excessive effort to improve appearance. pictures, or is socially isolated (eg, staying indoors, hating photography, etc.). [2] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source In severe cases, the person may develop a chronic mental illness such as an inferiority complex or an eating disorder or a disregard for society around them. . [3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source In milder cases, lack of self-esteem can affect psychological well-being and interest in daily activities. Whatever the reason, understanding and boosting your self-esteem is important to your overall psychological well-being.
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