How to Be an Independent Woman

The feeling of being in control of your life is truly amazing. As a woman, you may feel like you have to work harder to be truly independent. Independence means being able to take care of yourself, both mentally and physically. There are a few steps you can take to become an independent woman. And remember – being independent doesn’t mean you can’t rely on others when you need to. It just means that you are the one who has the right to decide.

Table of Contents

Become mentally independent

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Understand yourself. Being independent means taking charge of your life and making your own decisions. To be able to do that, you need to understand who you really are. Understanding and loving yourself is the first step on the road towards independent living. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Pay attention to your own mood. Your emotions are the most important factor in how you make decisions, so keep them in mind. Be aware of what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy. ^{[2] X Research Source}
Know how your environment affects you. Be aware of how you react in different situations or environments. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Make your own decisions. Making the big decisions on her own is the key to being an independent woman. To feel confident in doing so, consider carefully when making important decisions. Always remember, the most effective way to make those big decisions is to strike a balance between what you want and what you think is best. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Make a list of the risks and benefits involved. ^{[5] X Research Sources} When comparing the list of benefits with the potential risks, decide which side favors.
Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You are still the decision maker, even if you take advice from someone you trust.
Consider how you would feel if your decision were announced on the evening news. Is it a decision you are proud of? ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Does the decision satisfy your values, your character, or your integrity? You may have to make a rather different decision, but stick to what feels right and fits these factors. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

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Learn to self-soothe. Being an independent woman means being able to take care of yourself mentally. Learn to accept your own feelings. Be kind to yourself during times of stress or discomfort. You deserve that. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Each person will have a different way of soothing, so find out what small things you can do to soothe yourself if needed. If you’re at work, try going back and taking a minute for yourself. Go to the bathroom and wash your face. Or quit email for a moment and text a friend.
Having a pet is a great way to soothe yourself. If you have a cat, pet it. This will help you feel less stressed.

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Comfortable being alone. Learning to have fun when alone is an important step towards becoming an independent person. You don’t have to rely on others to enjoy enjoyable activities. To get to know yourself, practice spending time alone – intentionally. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Go to the movies alone. You won’t have to worry about someone constantly talking during the preview or eating your popcorn.
Have dinner alone. Going out to eat alone can be quite intimidating. But maybe you will find it very interesting. You can choose the time and place without worrying about the other person’s taste. If you fear that you will be bored, bring a book or magazine.

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Establish positive relationships. A dependent relationship can greatly affect your ability to become independent. Evaluate all of the relationships you have (personal, romantic, professional) and make sure each is a give and take. Make sure your needs are met in each of those relationships. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Try becoming more assertive in your current relationships. Speak up if you feel you are not being taken seriously.

Take responsibility for your own finances

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Track spending. Financial independence is an important part of being an independent woman. The first step to taking control of your money is knowing how much you spend each month. Track your spending for at least two months to get a clear idea of your spending. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Keep track of all major and minor expenses. Make a chart that tracks how much you spend on rent, credit, food, and transportation. You also need to record expenses for leisure and social activities.
Try using an app or online banking system to keep track of your finances more easily and accurately.

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Find motivation. Learn why being independent is important to you. Want to own a house of your own? Secure your life when you retire? Write down all of your financial priorities. Visualizing your motivation will help you find the enthusiasm to start a stable financial regime. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Build confidence in yourself

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Be yourself. An important part of being an independent woman is being confident in who you are. Part of that requires you to be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be someone else. Find your own strengths and interests and focus on those. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

Don’t fall victim to inappropriate fashion trends. The way you dress will affect how you feel. Wear clothes that enhance your beauty and make you feel comfortable and confident.
Avoid forcing yourself to conform to a woman’s standards. A lot of women feel pressured to dress and behave in certain ways simply because they are women, but you don’t have to behave or be “girly” if you don’t want to. You don’t have to wear makeup or dress a certain way. You also don’t have to like typical female activities like shopping or watching romantic movies. ^{[19] X Research Source}

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Face your fears. Perhaps there is a particular fear that keeps you from becoming independent. Maybe you worry about living alone or have other common anxiety problems. You’re not the only one who feels this way. Here are some steps you can take to overcome your fear. ^{[20] X Research Source}

Exposure therapy. It has been proven that exposing one’s fears little by little is extremely effective. For example, if you feel nervous about meeting new people, ask a friend to go with you to a social event. Gradually build up the courage to participate alone.
Seek help from professionals. If your anxiety continues to prevent you from becoming independent or achieving other goals, try seeing a mental health professional. That can help you reduce anxiety.

Advice

Expand your social circle – different people will appeal to different parts of you.
Get help when you need it – from friends, family or therapists.
Do new things – learn a sport, learn to cook

Steps

Become mentally independent

Take responsibility for your own finances

Build confidence in yourself

Advice

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