How to Be an Independent and Strong Woman

As an independent and strong woman, you can find happiness on your own. You are confident in yourself and do not need to rely on another person or society to assert your worth. That means you can control your own emotions and have healthy relationships with others without being too dependent on them. That means you know how to show your true self, whether you’re a shy, soft-spoken girl or a loud and assertive girl. You don’t have to try to force yourself to conform to a pattern. Keep reading to learn how to be true to the woman in you and pursue the image of the woman you want to be.

Table of Contents

Fight for Your Own Rights

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Put yourself first. You want to have some privacy to yourself, you want to feel loved or you want to be taken care of, give yourself whatever you want. If you want to be taken care of, spend the day pampering yourself in some way. If you want some privacy, spend some time journaling or exploring nature. If you want to feel in love with yourself, think about the things that make you love yourself or go out to dinner or watch a movie by yourself. The easier it is for you to satisfy your emotional needs, the more likely you are to have good relationships, because you understand yourself better and know how to present yourself better to your partner.

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Do not compare yourself to other women. If you have a female role model to compare yourself to, that’s great. But you need to be alert so as not to fall into the pit of jealousy. Although jealousy is to some extent a natural emotion, western society tends to exaggerate the envy of women through advertising and movies by standards far from reality.

Jealousy and “Sinky remarks that hurt others” are “attacks that can harm someone by destroying their relationship or social status”. ^{[1] X Research Resources Coyne, SM, Linder, JR, Nelson, DA, & Gentile, DA (2012). ‘Frenemies, fraitors, and mean-em-aitors’: Priming effects of viewing physical and relational aggression in the media on women. Aggressive Behavior, 38(2), p. 141-149. doi: 10.1002/ab.21410} Studies show that the media plays an important role in shaping such aggression among women. Women who have been victims of assault often seem to lack confidence, feel abandoned and alone. ^{[2] X Research Sources Ostrov, JM, Hart, EJ, Kamper, KE, Godleski, SA (2011). Relational aggression in women during emerging adulthood: A social processes model. Behavioral Sciences & The Law, 29(5), 695-710. doi:10.1002/bsl.1002} As a result, many women feel insecure and dissatisfied with themselves.
Know when you’re jealous. The first step to getting rid of feeling jealous of others is knowing when you are jealous. If you’re reading a magazine and comparing your body to that of a model, stop for a moment. Do you compare all the people you see on the street with those models? Probably not, so don’t compare yourself either. Magazine models are people who meet some of the criteria that magazine owners look for and for them modeling is a profession to which they dedicate their lives. Don’t think about whether they are “better” or “worse” than you.

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Set clear limits. Set clear boundaries to prioritize your needs. For example, limit the time you spend with someone or the type of criticism you’re not willing to listen to. In addition to romantic love, you also need to have many other relationships at school, work, society, the gym or your family.

Set clear limits for each person and when communicating with that person, do not let them influence you. Once you’ve set certain limits, try to stick to them.

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Protect yourself. Whether you are a man or a woman, you must learn to take care of yourself in this world if you do not want to be taken advantage of. You need to learn how to protect yourself at school, at work and in the community. Claim your rights. Don’t feel ashamed or guilty about claiming your rights. Fighting for your own rights does not mean that you are passively waiting for results, nor does it mean that you are aggressive enough to attack others.

People who know how to claim their rights wisely will feel happier in their relationships and more confident than others. ^{[3] X Research Sources}
Use the personal pronoun “I” when speaking. Such statements will be less impulsive and instead, they will see you as responsible for your actions and words. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” you could say, “You seem to ignore what I say because you’re constantly checking your phone while talking to me.”
Learn to say no. Do what you want first instead of trying to please others. For example, if someone regularly borrows money from you, you can refuse. If someone regularly borrows your car, you can tell them that your car isn’t always available to them.

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Trust yourself. When you believe in your own abilities and believe that you can achieve results, you will reach your full potential. Pursue what you need and want. When you lack confidence or are taken advantage of, it is possible that you will let others get over you and take what you need and want.

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Tell others if they hurt you. If someone is cheating on you either way, tell them. It can be difficult for you to share your feelings, especially when you feel hurt or angry. But telling them how they hurt you will prevent them from hurting you in the future. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “I feel hurt when you think my article is misleading. I’m willing to listen and receive feedback, but I can’t accept your harsh criticism.”

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Respond to disrespectful and offensive comments. If you hear someone make sexist or racially biased or disrespectful comments, don’t ignore them. That doesn’t mean you need to argue with them. Calmly tell them that you don’t welcome their comments.

“Please don’t talk about other women like that.”
“Can we please not make negative comments about her?”
“Why would you think that?”

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Learn to know if you are too dependent on others. If you are too dependent on a relationship, you will feel as if that relationship determines your life. You can be obsessed with a person and only make a decision after consulting that person. Try to get out of an overly dependent relationship by being on the lookout for the following signs: ^{[5] X Research Source}

Unconfident
Try to please everyone
There are no obvious limits
Reaction ability
Attention
The control
Communication problems
Obsess
Dependence
Denial
Struggling with privacy issues
Feeling hurt

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Respect individual differences. Be content and happy with the fact that everyone has a gift, and so do you! Every woman has her own unique talent, be it math, drawing or leadership skills. Hone your skills and strengthen the resources you have and, moreover, love yourself for all.

If you think someone is talented, compliment them.

Concerned Physiological Issues

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Be content with your body, with what you have been given. Many women feel more or less dissatisfied with their appearance especially when naked. It can be difficult for you to change that, but try paying attention to the part of your body that makes you happy. Pay attention to different body parts and how they make up your appearance.

Pay less attention to your appearance, focus on what your body gives you.
If your partner criticizes your appearance, do yourself a favor by letting them know their criticism is not constructive. ^{[6] X Research Source}

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Speak out your wishes to your partner. When the two of you are intimate, speak openly about your wishes to your partner. Loving yourself and taking your physiology seriously means speaking out about what you like and what goes beyond the boundaries.

You can say “I like it when you touch it” or “I want to cuddle after sex”.
If something makes you uncomfortable, say it. You can say “I don’t like it” or “It hurts me”.

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Pay attention to physiological issues. Don’t be shy if you want to make love. Allow yourself to be sexually gratified in any way and choose the right partner and advocate for a healthy sex life.

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Don’t be afraid to refuse. Maybe you’ve met someone who wants to use you to have sex with you. You should know when to say no and how to say no to someone who wants to take advantage of you. Don’t let sexual assault remain silent if you know about it. One in five women and seventy-one men has been raped in their lifetime. ^{[7] X Trusted Source Centers for Disease Contrp and Prevention Go to source}

If someone falls on you, try to crawl up and call for help. Social stereotypes have made women feel ashamed or embarrassed when harassed and raped, and some women are even perceived as “demanding it”. ^{[8] X Allen Research Source , RL (2006). Stopping sexual harassment: A Challenge for community education. Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.} Having someone as a sex offender punished gives women the courage to speak up about the issue.

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Report sexual harassment at work and school. Remember that reporting such actions is not only good for you; it will prevent that person from harassing others in the future. ^{[9] X Allen Research Source , RL (2006). Stopping sexual harassment: A Challenge for community education. Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.}

Health care

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Exercise regularly. Staying in shape helps you maintain your health, mood and energy, helping you succeed in all areas of your life. Regular exercise helps prevent diseases like heart disease, cancer and diabetes, it also helps manage chronic disorders like asthma or back pain. ^{[10] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

No one is the same, so check with your doctor about exercises that are safe for you.
You don’t have to be an Olympic champion to have a healthy body. You can walk around the house, walk the dog or go for a bike ride. Even gardening is a good exercise for the body.

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Eat foods that are nutritious and healthy. Like exercise, a scientific diet can help prevent disease, improve your mood, and give you energy. ^{[11] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source} Everyone’s body is different, so nutritional needs can also be different. Talk to your doctor or a certified dietitian for a diet plan that’s right for you.

The general rule is to eat plenty of fresh vegetables and fruits. Eat enough carbs and protein. Avoid fried and processed foods and eat less refined sugar.

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Sleeping enough. Lack of sleep affects your health and mood. Try to sleep at least seven or eight hours a day for best health.

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Understand your health. Personal strengths include the physical, mental, and emotional aspects. If you want to be an independent and strong woman then you need to listen to your own body. Non-transgender men and women face different health risks and challenges due to biological differences. ^{[12] X Research Sources Disch, E. (2006). Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.}

In addition to biological differences, there are a few other injustices that cause non-trans women to be overlooked simply because they are women. For example, until recently most medical research was done only with men. When a disease or disorder occurs for which there is a gender difference (for example, a heart attack), medical research cannot accurately pinpoint symptoms in women. ^{[13] X Research Sources Disch, E. (2006). Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.} Fortunately, medical research today is rapidly approaching and conducting research on women. Research results can be easily found and independent and strong women need to know how to take advantage of it!
Check in with your doctor regularly. Tell your doctor about any health concerns.

Financial management

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Try to be financially independent depending on your circumstances. To be financially independent you need to have your own income, have your own bank account and be able to buy your own property, which used to be (and is, in some parts of the world) things that women robbed. ^{[14] X Source of Research} You need to consider if you depend on others for financial security.

Take a money management course or learn the basics online.
Make a budget for yourself so you can cover the necessary expenses.
Save about 10-20% of your income.

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Don’t be afraid to ask for a raise. Women are less likely to ask for a raise than men. If required, women also often demand less increase than men. ^{[15] X Research Source} Go back to learning how to be a woman who can claim your rights and don’t be afraid to ask if you deserve it.

Passionate pursuit

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Learn anything you want. Don’t let social norms affect the major(s) you choose. Society often believes that women should choose certain fields of study (such as English, fine arts, teachers, nurses and other “supportive” jobs) while men are forced to pursue fields such as science, math and technology. ^{[16] X Research Sources Disch, E. (2006). Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.}

More and more schools are encouraging girls to participate more in STEM subjects (short for Science-Science, Technpogy-Technology, Engineering-Engineering and Mathematics-Mathematics) because of The number of female students in these majors is extremely small, although many women are passionate. ^{[17] X Research Sources Disch, E. (2006). Reconstructing Gender: A Multicultural Anthpogy. Boston, MA: McGraw Hill.} If you’re passionate about physics, go for it! If computers excite you, dig deep and learn everything about it. Don’t let gender stereotypes get in the way of your desire to study a major you love.
By all means pursue a major you love. If you like music, go after it. If you like math, do the same.

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Don’t stop learning. Remember that it is not formal education that teaches you to learn (for example, at an institution such as a university). You can gain knowledge by keeping up with ongoing issues in politics, science and technology, reading books (both fiction and non-fiction), learning another language, watching documentaries and similar activities. You need to have a desire to learn new things throughout your life.

Contributing to Society

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Helping others. One of the best ways you can play to your strengths is to help those less fortunate than you. You don’t have to be rich or wealthy enough to make a positive impact on the whole community, you can start with small actions. A 2010 study on volunteering and “giving back” to the community found that of study participants, 68% had better physical health, 89% felt more confident and happy, 73 % felt less stressed than respondents who didn’t participate in the “dedication”. ^{[19] X Research Source}

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Get involved in volunteering where you live. Non-profit organizations in your area welcome volunteers and anyone’s assistance. Choose the areas you are most passionate about such as animals, art, children, sports, and so on. Choose a place that you like and believe you will make a difference.

For example, volunteer at a canteen, at your local animal cruelty program or other community development programs.
Consider charity work before deciding to join. You should not join some organizations like Autism Speaks and PETA because they do more bad than good.

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Do good work whenever possible. You don’t have to be an official volunteer to volunteer. When you see someone in need, help them out. A small act of yours can also bring a bright new day to someone. For example, you can help carry things or keep the door open for someone.

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Help other women. Women are often humiliated, criticized and humiliated by people of the same sex. Instead women can help each other and make each woman live her own life without criticism or comment.

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Educate other women to be independent and strong. Teach them how to be self-righteous claimants, learn leadership skills, love themselves, and claim rights for others. Be a good role model yourself.

Become a consultant at a local women’s organization. For example, you might advise a young girl competing in your favorite sport or a senior in high school preparing for college.

Advice

Finding the woman role model that inspires you can help you find the motivation to become an independent woman. It could be a family member, a feminist or activist, an artist, writer or politician.
People often assume that women need to please others. There is nothing wrong with thinking like that, but trying to please others should come from both sides. Sometimes you can ask the other person what they can do for you or do what interests you instead of trying to think of how to make other people happy with you.

Steps